The First Ballad- Dear Mother

Every person has a different dream experience i.e. if they remember them to begin with. From a young age, I have always had dreams. Good, bad, or odd. I call it my personal theatre system, where my head plays scenes in all sorts of settings, and it's mostly about me trying to escape from disasters one after the other, and jumping back in danger while trying to save my fragile older sister.

When I say I have odd dreams, I mean weird Alice in Wonderland dreams. Except with more added drama or natural disasters and fewer talking animals and creatures. Most of the time I have control in my dreams where I can just walk out of a scenario, but there are times when the dreams suddenly shift to enter the nightmare realm. I have lesser control there and pulling myself out of them is extremely difficult.

I stood in front of the door to a modern-day house. Okay great, I prefer this over being stuck in some historical world.

'The Prince and Cinderella lived happily ever after', a faint sound could be heard from inside the house, someone was probably watching television.

I walk inside the house, but it was as if no one noticed my presence. Thats odd. I mostly interact with people in my dreams. I walked up to the little girl whose eyes were still glued to the television, hoping for the sequel to play. I waved my hand in front of her, she did not notice me. Her father snored away on his chair while the utensils being used in the kitchen could be heard. Okay, this is one of the odd dreams. But this place felt nostalgic.

'Hmm? It feels like... I've done this before...'

....

Watching the family reminded me of my own. Which annoyed me.

My older brother had once asked me and my sister when we were very young,

"If you could pick one, who would you prefer? Mom or Dad?" to which I replied "Dad" while both of them picked 'Mom'. That might as well be one of the earliest memory I have of my life. I was surprised by their answers. How could they not pick Dad when he was the one who smiled and laughed with us? Mom was always in the kitchen, she would always yell at me, she brushed my hair too hard and I had a general feeling that she did not like me. Young and oblivious, I judged her as someone I had to satisfy. Her rare moments of laughter felt like the entire world and heaven lit up at once. And I wanted to see that a lot.

I realized that whenever my siblings would do badly in school, she would be upset with them, and I did not want that hate to be directed at me. So I studied. I never cared much for studying, I also soon realized that it wasn't something I was entirely good at, so I worked hard till I got good results. That basically sums up the 16 years of my life. It was psychological reinforcement to get me to do good in school. Yet whenever my friends would score higher than me, my parents would compare us, making me break up with my friends.

When you grow up, you realize a lot of odd things. The mother I thought who never came out of the kitchen was only ever ordered to do so by my father. My father was to me the smart and educated man, and on the rare occasions that my mother spoke words of wisdom, I would be caught off guard. The father who I thought was so ever kind, was a cruel husband. He never hit my mom, because smart people use words as weapons. Something that I inherited from him as well.

So it annoyed me to see this family of three. I disliked my father's abuse of power, I disliked my mother being a victim and doing nothing about it. Yet I loved them both dearly.

In the first ballad, the narrator had sung,

"The fate of the unspoken waits along,

What is right and what is wrong?

Welcome! The appointed one!

Embrace the madness and be saved,

For there are decisions to be made"

'Is this the same person from the beach?', I could feel him nearby but he wasn't.

So when I walked out of the house trying to change the dream, an explosion from inside the house blew me away.

'Is this the first trial? Agh', I figured as the explosion had burst my ear drums.

I stood up from the rubble, my head pounding like crazy. But I wasn't injured. The light blue dress I wore was scratchless. I wondered if I would wake up if I got injured in my dream, the narrator said I couldn't, but who knows?

'Speaking of the narrator, I thought he would help me out here, why am I alone? and what's up with that weird ballad?'

The sound of laughter came from behind me, it seemed like there was a sort of party going on.

I turned and saw the previously built modern house had split into two, with the little girl standing on a single board that joined both sides. With tears in her eyes, she sobbed not knowing what was going on. She stood far from where I could approach her.

I could either enter through the right bright garden or the left dull enterence.

Again the sound of laughter, the right side of the house had turned into a bright green garden, with a dining table and chairs.

'Is this the Mad Hatters' tea party?' I cringed.

'Okay, let's take the right path first then' I thought.

I walked into the garden to find a group of ladies dressed up luxuriously and laughing like crazy. It was a brightly lit up garden, with delicate flowers blooming on the side.

'Who are these people?' I was confused as they weren't here before.

As I walked up to them they all stopped laughing and turned to look at me.

The sudden attention shocked me and I turned around to see what they were looking at. There was certainly nothing behind me, so when I faced them again, it was as if I was once again invisible.

'What was up with that?' my heart started beating faster.

I took a seat at the far side of the table and patiently listened to what was happening.

The first lady in a gold dress spoke:

"Okay, now we will begin our blessed session. I know you all have a lot to share but please do bear patience. Since I am the one who arranged the meeting I shall go first. Ahem, So I realized last week that my husband never washed the dishes, so I filled his mouth with dish soap!" to which the rest of the ladies laughed hysterically.

The second lady in the light pink dress that sat next to the first snorted as she spoke "My husband told me I looked fat in my clothes, so I fed him pork till he choked on them and became a pig himself!"

Again with the hysterical laughter. I sat silently shocked out of my mind, trying to understand what was going on.

They all looked at the lady sitting near me, till one of the five ladies spoke, "Now Margret, what did you do with your husband?" I realized that it was the mother of the young girl from the house. All of her tiredness had disappeared and with her makeup on she looked sort of refreshed, she wore an unfamiliar green dress that was sleeveless and made her look... liberated.

"Me?" She chuckled in a nasty way. "That man who I dare call my husband, was being nice to my daughter while treating me like a slave. So I blew him up in front of her." They all paused for a bit and then laughed once again. Their voices rose louder and louder like a pack of hyenas.

I couldn't take it anymore. I felt sick in the stomach.

'Is that where the explosion came from?' I suddenly stood up and all of them simultaneously looked at me and said "Where are you going, Sarina? Are you still unable to let go of your husband?" they all cackled. Their sudden attention freaked me out.

I ran away from them as far as I could. What shocked me more than their remarks and their actions, was hearing them call me that name, ...my mothers name.