12. Rev. Cha Hoyoung (2)

Twenty-three years ago from now, at the Ja-ae Orphanage.

It was a time when the world was mixed with optimistic expectations for the new millennium and the fearful rumors like a whirlwind, just before the turn of the century.

"Youngsoo. You're here again. It's almost mealtime. Let's eat."

"Reverend."

Reverend Cha Hoyoung gently patted Youngsoo's round head.

Youngsoo looked up with clear eyes at Reverend Cha.

Ja-ae Orphanage built on a hill.

Youngsoo stood in front of the entrance of the orphanage, gazing endlessly toward the far end of the low hill.

"What were you looking at?"

Reverend Cha Hoyoung already knew why Youngsoo was standing here, even without asking.

Youngsoo, the pitiful child who awaited his parents, who never showed up, even today.

But he pretended not to know anything and asked with an affectionate voice.

"...Just nothing. It's not a big deal."

Youngsoo slightly shook his head and kicked a pebble at his feet.

The pebble rolled down the hill in the direction Youngsoo kicked it.

Youngsoo was a mature child.

Despite being just under twelve years old, he had a deep soul.

At an age when even a group of children would fall short, he had learned to poorly hide his own sorrow.

It was a sight that would be hard to see in other children of his age.

For Reverend Cha Hoyoung, all the children in the orphanage were precious. Not a single child was left without love and care.

However, for Reverend Cha, Youngsoo was slightly, or honestly speaking, very special compared to other children.

How could it be any different?

Children who usually came to orphanages were usually around five years old. However, this child, Han Youngsoo, had come into Reverend's arms when he was just a newborn baby.

When Reverend Cha Hoyoung first found Youngsoo at the entrance of the orphanage, she had many worries.

Could she really take care of this child who had just turned two?

Would it be better to send him to another facility?

However, no matter how many calls she made, she couldn't find a facility that would readily accept an infant who didn't even know his parents' names.

"This, too, must be the will of God."

Reverend Cha Hoyoung eventually made a promise to herself to take care of Youngsoo.

Feeding him formula, changing diapers, staying up all night to comfort the crying baby.

While she was experienced in taking care of children, taking care of a baby on her own was a whole different level of responsibility.

On the day Youngsoo took his first steps with both feet, Reverend Cha shed tears of overwhelming emotion.

"So, this is what it feels like to raise a child."

Reverend Cha Hoyoung offered a prayer of gratitude to God for making her realize why she had met Youngsoo, something she might not have understood otherwise.

However, there was something that Reverend Cha couldn't change, no matter how hard she tried.

The shadow that occasionally clouded Youngsoo's face.

He had only asked once, around the age of six, why he didn't have parents like other children.

Seeing Reverend Cha's troubled expression, he had never brought up the topic of his parents again.

However, he often sneaked away to a quiet spot and cried alone.

Reverend Cha Hoyoung, with her deep insight, knew the pain in Youngsoo's heart.

"Youngsoo. Isn't it beautiful to watch the sun setting?"

"Yes. The colors are pretty."

"Yeah. It's really nice to watch the sun set from this hill. Do you know why I built this orphanage here?"

"No."

"I searched all over the country to find a place to build this orphanage. And then I ended up here. I watched the sun set from this hill. It was just as beautiful back then. I thought God was guiding me, right here."

"That's right. To be honest, I was watching the sunset from here. I was planning to go back to my room before dinner."

Youngsoo's little white lie.

Reverend felt a pang in her heart.

"Youngsoo."

Reverend Cha Hoyoung bent her knees and looked at Youngsoo.

"Do you think that you only have no parents in this world?"

"..."

"Youngsoo. When you feel that way, think of me as your father."

A statement that a reverend shouldn't make.

But Reverend Cha believed that even God would understand this much.

"Yes? But Reverend, you've always told me that our father is God..."

"Yeah. So, let's keep this between us as a secret from God."

*

"So, have you met your parents?"

"No."

"Why? Did they refuse to meet you, or did you not want to meet them?"

"Both of them..."

I smiled sadly.

"Both of them have already passed away."

Reverend Cha Hoyoung drew a deep sigh again upon hearing my words.

"I see. I see."

With her hands joined together, she closed her eyes.

She must be offering a prayer for my parents' souls.

After finishing her prayer, Reverend Cha's concern shifted back to me.

"I was worried that you might carry the burden of your past wounds and end up hurting yourself unnecessarily."

"I found out just yesterday."

"Really? You said someone came to visit me, and that person..."

"Yes. Honestly, I'm quite confused. Like Reverend said, I had tried to forget and move on."

"I don't know what to say. Whether you knew or not, it's something that weighs on your heart. If that's the case, it might be a relief to find out. Don't worry about me. Reverend."

Reverend reached out and patted my shoulder a few times, then held it firmly.

"Youngsoo."

"Yes. What is it, Reverend?"

"Shall we go see the sunset together?"

*

The playground was empty.

The kids who used to play energetically with balls had disappeared somewhere.

Reverend Cha and I walked across the playground.

Reverend's steps were noticeably slower, befitting her age.

"How are the kids? Are there any troublemakers?"

"Kids are always up to mischief, aren't they? They're all good kids."

"Reverend, if you ever need help, please let me know."

"Haha, you still look to me like the little boy you used to be. I don't need your help. Just take care of yourself."

"You'll be in your seventies in a few years. You're becoming a senior. You should start preparing for retirement."

"I still have more to do. No, I want to do as much as I can as long as I'm allowed by God and my health..."

With Reverend Cha Hoyoung, I stood at the entrance of the orphanage.

"Youngsoo, do you remember? One day, I said that I wanted to be your father while watching the sunset together here."

"Of course, how could I forget? I remember it well

."

"Even now, the sun is setting just like back then. That rascal, you never once called me Dad or tried to make any excuse like that."

"I couldn't do that, or else the other kids would be so jealous. But I didn't just say it out loud. I always thought that way in my heart. I still do, even now."

The two of us stood silently, gazing at the setting sun.

"...You wanted me to become a priest, didn't you?"

"Yes? You wanted me to become a priest? You never said anything like that to me."

"That was just my wish, that's all. After all, how could I decide your future as I pleased?"

"Reverend..."

"However, now I feel a bit relieved. Maybe I've been worrying too much, thinking you might wander without finding the reason you were born. So, perhaps becoming a priest might be an answer for you."

"But..."

"But even now, I know that my desire to become a priest is just that. I can't determine your future as I please."

"I thought you mentioned it. If Reverend had said so, I might have thought about it at least once."

"Such a foolish jest."

Reverend Cha chuckled playfully, and her face turned serious again.

"Youngsoo..."

"Yes, what is it, Reverend?"

"Shall we go watch the sunset together?"

*

"Looks like we're late. Youngsoo, let's have dinner and go."

"Let me hear what side dishes there are first. I won't eat if there's no meat."

Hahaha━

Reverend Cha's exaggeration.

"I've put up with your pickiness even beyond thirty. Oh, you're here, and I've prepared a feast. Go eat with the other kids. Let's share the meal with our children."