4. Chapter 4: Hermione

Heya, everyone! Again, I appreciated all your reviews. This chapter is dedicated to all of you! -Blows kisses- :D

(Btw, does anyone know what the term 'AU' means? I've seen it in the description of some stories and I want to know what it stands for...)

& look, here is...

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10 Ways to Kill Draco Malfoy

Chapter 4

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HERMIONE

Argh! Damn him!

I still can't get over what that filthy - little - Slytherin - slug did to poor Neville at Potions. It was such an awful thing to do! Neville was so ashamed that he refused to come down for lunch and just muttered something about Transfiguration that I didn't catch, but Harry and Ron obviously did, because they nodded and left him alone. I didn't want to leave him, but I was feeling hungry so I gave him a quick grin, which he feebly returned, and clambered out of the portrait-hole.

That was a few hours ago.

Now we're in the Great Hall again, this time for dinner. Neville had turned up for Transfiguration and History of Magic after lunch, and since then has seemed normal. Right now, I spot him sitting a few seats away from Harry, Ron and me, talking animatedly with Dean and Seamus. When he sees us, he gives a little wave and smile. I sigh with relief that he's alright again, and settle down for the meal.

"Neville seems pretty fine now," says Harry, as food appears on the golden plates.

"Yeah," Ron agrees. "I think he's gotten over the Potions incident." Just like last night, he begins stuffing his face again. I sigh and tut softly.

"Sheesh, Ron, do you always have to eat like such a pig?"

Harry laughs, spooning up a bit of mashed potato. "You should have some table manners, like me."

Ron rolls his eyes (a difficult feat to do while eating, but something that he can pull off) and goes back to wolfing down his food.

After the meal, as we are walking out of the Hall, we pass the Slytherin table. Most of them laugh as Neville goes by, but he ignores them and continues walking. Malfoy smirks when he sees us, and taps his wand casually on the table. A cup of pumpkin juice flies from in front of Goyle towards me and before I can dodge it, spills its contents all over the front of my t-shirt. The Gryffindors around me become silent as they all realize what has happened. Malfoy, that jerk, is still smirking his head off. Thankfully I am wearing a dark color, or my top would have become see-through...

I glare at him, and pretend to flick my hair with the hand that holds my wand. I don't think anyone else but Harry and Ron notices my movement at first, because they are all glaring at Malfoy, but when he suddenly sprouts bunny ears and a fluffy lump for a tail, they start laughing hysterically and congratulate me on my comeback. Smiling smugly, I turn and leave before Malfoy can do anything else to me.

Outside I probably look calm and collected right now, but inside I am fuming with anger. I am wearing one of my favorite tops, and since I don't want to let the house elves wash my clothes, I will have to spend hours washing it off by hand. Hours wasted, when I could be studying and finishing off my homework, or even relaxing outside! I sigh to myself. Well, as long as the elves don't have to do it.

"That was great, Hermione!" grins Ron later in the common room.

"Hmm," I say in response.

"You should have seen Malfoy's face when he realized why everyone was laughing," adds Harry, smiling as well.

"Hmmm," I say again.

Ron frowns. "Is something wrong, 'Mione?"

"Hmmmm..."

"Are you angry because of Malfoy?" Harry, dear Harry. Always so able to pick up on people's feelings. Well, perhaps maybe not with Cho last year, but now he's much better at it.

"Well, yes!" I burst out. "Look what he's done in only a day! First he embarassed Neville, then he spills pumpkin juice on me, which you all should know is nearly impossible to wash out!"

"It is?" Ron looks confused. Bless him. He's probably never washed anything in his entire life. "Well, you could leave it to the house elves. I sure they could get the stains ou - I mean, never mind," he finishes quickly when I give him a disapproving look.

"I'm not letting the house elves have more work to do. I'm going to get this out myself. But before that..."

I think for a while. How can I stop Malfoy from annoying Gryffindors? Give him a heart to heart talk? I don't think so. Threats? No, I'd get in trouble with Dumbledore. But... if I could get rid of him by magic... or by force...

"What are you thinking, Hermione?" asks Harry curiously. Ron looks like he wants to know the same thing.

"I'm thinking..." I start slowly. "... that we could get rid of Malfoy for a while. Like what Fred and George did to some guy last year - stuck him in a vanishing closet, didn't they?"

Ron's jaw drops open. "Are... are you thinking of killing Malfoy?"

"No, of course not, stupid!" I snap. "I would probably go to Azkaban for that. I mean just temporarily - you know, injuries, illnesses..."

His jaw drops even further. If that's possible. "Hermione! What's gotten into you this year? You're so violent nowadays." He looks thoughtful, however. "Though I'm not saying that's an entirely bad idea..."

"True," says Harry.

"So, you guys all in for it?" I ask, getting excited at the prospect of saving Hogwarts from a great evil, if only for a little while each time.

"What's in it for us?" Ron asks slyly.

"Hm..."

"How about this," Harry says suddenly. "We help you get rid of Malfoy, and you stop badgering us about spew the whole year. Starting from now," he adds as I open my mouth crossly to correct his reference about SPEW. "Deal?"

It is a big price to pay, giving up my campaign for elf rights for one whole year, but if it means stopping Malfoy then it's fine by me. Although because of his now amazingly good-looking face and physique (yes, I'm dying to know why he looks so handsome all of a sudden, too), most of the girls are after him, which could make my idea to attack him harder with them crowding around him all the time. But I would have to manage...

"Alright, then. It's a deal," I say grudgingly, and scowl when Harry and Ron whoop and slap high-fives. "There's no need to be that happy!" I protest. The two look at me sheepishly and smile.

"Well, we're not going to devise how to get rid of Malfoy - you can do that. But we will help the practical stuff. Like shoving him down the stairs or something..." Harry chuckles. Little does he know that he has just put an idea into my mind.

"Shove him down the stairs, huh?" I muse. Harry looks startled. "Could be a good idea."

"Wh-what? You're actually going to do that?!" Ron yells. "No way! You might kill him (though it wouldn't be a great loss)! You'd go to Azkaban!"

"Oh, don't worry about it, Ron," I say breezily, waving a hand. "I'll take care of the planning. You're just meant to help me perform the deeds."

He grumbles something incoherent, but remembers the deal about SPEW and shuts up.

"Goodnight, then," I say to Harry and Ron, and they nod before disappearing into their dormitories. I do the same, and find the room empty. Lavender, Parvati and the others must still be outside in the Great Hall. Not that it is a bad thing; it would give me time to think about my first plan for letting Neville and other fellow Gryffindors walk around the school in peace for a while at least.

Smiling to myself, I think of what Harry said about pushing him down the stairs, and decide it might not be such a dangerous idea after all, if I am careful... I would have to push him off a small flight of stairs. If I shove him down something like the stairs to the North Tower, he would probably break his neck and die. Not what I have in mind.

I take out my diary (which is just about empty, since I hardly ever bother to write in it) and rip out a page. On it, I scribble:

--- Plan 1: Push Malfoy down the stairs.

When: When he is alone (if ever).

Why: For being a git. No other reason needed.

How: When he is walking down a small flight of stairs, casually bump into him and cause him to fall down. Easy as that. Do not make self look conspicuous or make the shove look intentional. Try to take him by surprise or he may resist my attempt.

That should be good enough.

I rip out the page and stuff it in the pocket of the pair of jeans that I plan to wear tomorrow. I take my soiled t-shirt and put it in a plastic bag, then into my trunk. I would have to remember to wash it tomorrow morning or evening. Finally, I sink into my bed and close my eyes, falling asleep almost immediately.

The next morning arrives. Sunlight peers through the window and falls in shafts to the floor, making previously invisible dust dance around like glitter. I rub my eyes and sit up, getting dressed quickly. Today we have Care of Magical Creatures, and I don't want to be late. The rest of my dormitory is still asleep and looks as if they are dead to the world, only the sounds of their breathing making it obvious that they are still alive. I slip out the door and head to the common room.

No one is there. I glance at my watch and sigh. "Only seven o'clock," I murmur to myself. A bit early to go to breakfast, so I decide to sit in a puffy armchair and wait for my friends to rise.

About half an hour later, Harry emerges from the boys dormitory and spots me. I nearly fell asleep while waiting, but when I see Harry I pick myself up and smile in greeting. He hurries down the stairs and comes towards me. "Hey, Hermione! What are you doing up so early?" he asks. Then he wrinkles his nose. "Don't tell me you're planning to ambush Malfoy before breakfast."

I laugh. "No, not quite. But I am probably going to try my first plan today."

He stares at me, looking amazed. "Are you sure? I thought you were only kidding last night!"

"Since when did Hermione ever joke about things like that?" Ron's voice floats out from behind Harry. He turns quickly and grins at Ron, who joins us. "So you're going to do the first deed yourself? You sure you won't need help shoving him over?"

I shake my head. "No, thanks. You can be lookouts if you want to help on this one," I say brightly.

"Lookouts? Sure!" Turning to Harry, Ron whispers, "This is starting off easier than I'd thought."

"Don't worry, Ron. Your jobs will hopefully get a lot harder later on. I'll make sure of that," I say jokingly.

After breakfast we head out towards Hagrid's hut for Care of Magical Creatures. As the three of us walk along the hallway, I see Malfoy and his two cronies swaggering along in the same direction, though they are a little ahead of us. I suddenly stop, causing Ron to crash into me. "Ow!" he complains loudly. "What was that about?"

"Shhh!" I whisper. "He's right there! This could be my chance. Can you two distract Crabbe and Goyle?" The two idiots are some way behind Malfoy, about three metres, so I expect that Harry and Ron could probably get them away without too much fuss. And so they do. Ron performs a full body bind from behind on Crabbe, and rushes ahead to grab him before he topples to the ground and makes a huge noise, but nearly gets squashed in the process. I stifle a giggle and watch as Harry goes ahead and tells Goyle something that makes his greedy little eyes light up, and Harry leads him away. Soon they disappear behind a corner. I suppose Harry must have told him there was some very delicious dessert still left in the Great Hall.

That leaves me with my job. Cautiously I walk quickly forward until I am directly behind Malfoy. He is talking, thinking that his minions are still behind him. "... We're having that idiotic half-giant for Care of Magical Creatures again. Ironic, isn't it? He's the one that should be taken care of..."

I bite back an insult and though my hands are itching to grab my wand and hex him, I control myself and walk along, trying to grunt and sound a little like Crabbe and Goyle. When we reach some stairs consisting of about eight or nine steps, I walk behind and to his left a little, and as he starts to walk down, I move forward to push him... and lose my footing as my right foot slips from the stair.

Malfoy sees me and his eyes widen as I start to fall towards him. "Granger...?!" He grabs me quickly around my waist to stop my fall and he staggers backwards down a few steps, but doesn't lose his balance. My heart had been pounding with adrenaline and now starts to slow down as it realizes that I am safe.

For a while we just stand there, Malfoy with his arms circling my waist and my own hands out in front of me, resting on his chest. A wonderful musky smells fills my nose and I realize how close I am to my worst enemy. I glance up and find that he is looking at me, amused. I feel my cheeks getting warm and push myself away hurriedly, turning to leave.

"Don't I even get a thanks for saving you, Granger?" he calls out. I stop hesitantly and turn back around, sighing.

"Oh, thank you so much for saving my pitiful life, Malfoy. You are my hero," I say, rolling my eyes. "There. Happy now?"

"Very. You may go, oh pitiful one." His eyes sweep the area. "I suppose you were responsible for luring Crabbe and Goyle away as well?"

"Yes. It wasn't very hard."

"All so that you could crash into me? Don't tell me you've fallen for my good looks and charm, too." He smirks. "Though I have to admit that it was a good plan."

I blush and glare at him. "No, Malfoy. For one thing, I didn't crash into you. I fell by, er, accident. And for another - unlike most other girls, I know you're a heartless git who has brainless idiots for friends."

He blanches in anger. "Well, at least I don't go around following heartless gits with brainless idiots for friends," he hisses. "Unlike you, Mudblood."

We glare daggers at each other for a while, my face red with anger and his pale, as always. Then I spin around and stalk away, towards Harry and Ron, who releases Crabbe from his body bind and leaves him around the corner to recover.

"How was it?" Ron asks excitedly, but his face falls as he sees my expression. "You failed?"

"Pretty much," I mutter. "I slipped and fell on top of him."

Harry laughs. "That's better than nothing, right? At least you hurt him a little bit, though not enough for him to stop walking around."

I sigh and smile slightly. "Yeah, I guess."

In my head, I am already planning a new scheme, though I don't tell the others. Next time, I won't fail.

And I definitely did not enjoy Malfoy having his hands on me. The nerve of that idiotic ferret!

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I hope you liked this chapter, especially the bit where Draco unintentionally hugged Hermione... teeheehee! This chapter was pretty long for me, so next time it may be a little shorter (usually my chapter lengths are like Chapter 1). And sorry the insults exchanged between Hermione and Draco were so lame, I couldn't think of anything...

Remember to click that little blue/purple button beside 'Submit Review'! Hehehe.