Lectured By Death (4)

"What drives you? How do you get up every morning when you already know your fate? All that awaits you is destruction. You have no purpose other than your pathetic struggle to see the light of a new day; suffering for suffering's sake." Inari's poison slowly drips into our ears.

[Now we're dipping into existentialism. I believe the Myth of Sisyphus mentions a lot of similar ideas.]

Now that we're all out of reach, the Ignavia throws several blobs at us, which freeze everything they touch. They're semi-transparent and appear to be weightless as they sick to the objects around them. The mana blobs act as an endothermic reactant that sucks all the heat out of the area around it. It may not spread like fire, but if one of those spells lands, we could easily kiss an entire limb goodbye.

"I'm aware that we'll eventually lose. We fairies only have so much time left until we're hunted to extinction. All it takes is one. You can send endless waves into the meat grinder, but we can't lose a single time. It's inevitable. Our kind can't rival the parasites called humans."

[She's probably right. Who was it that asked how many 'light brigades' it would take before the ceaseless slaughter went from romantic to horrific? We can romanticize these adventures to entice fresh blood to take the leap. No matter how many times we lose, there will always be another to pick up the torch. It's both an awe-inspiring and gruesome aspect of humanity. At scale, it may be tragic, but on a personal level, it stems from the tiniest seed of hope.]

Josh runs at the monster's side but gets caught by a swipe of its claws. He gets knocked back, and a trickle of blood steams out from his helmet.

"Sakura, give Josh a shield!"

"I already did!"

"It's gone; give him another!"

"Okay!" She strains and pumps out one last shield for our tank. Both of them are breathing heavily. The continuous encounters are wearing us down fast.

"Potential Burst!" Shinobu shouts out the name of her strongest attack behind me. I turn and see her grasping the fur on the back of the Ignavia. A powerful current rushes through but to no avail. The spell doesn't do enough damage to have an effect. Shinobu is brushed off like a biting flea. She tumbles across the ground but manages to catch herself.

Two fairies fly forward and blast it with magic which gives us time to regroup. To my shock, they don't look the least bit surprised. If I didn't know any better, I'd say this happens to them all the time. It's as if Inari has been putting them through the gauntlet for weeks now, and they are numb to it all.

"Hope is it?" The tiny angel floats closer to me while apparently reading my mind. "I'm sure you think it's romantic; a group of adventurers struggling for their survival against all odds. How the soul is shaped by the crucible of violence. What makes you stand up one more time? What makes you take one last step? It's a pain in my ass. Do you know how many times I've seen this pathetic little performance play out? How many men have died protecting their lover? How many friends have rallied for one final attack only to be slaughtered? It's disgusting. Hope can't hold a flame to the annals of time."

[More existentialism, huh? I guess I can see how she's so sick of all the romanticism.]

"Right now, I'm honestly just trying not to shit my pants," I say with a smirk.

[Postmodernism is the dead end of art and philosophy. It is all pointless, so we might as well laugh.]

"It's injured!" Hai shouts. A clear laceration runs down one arm of the Ignavia. Now that its HP has dropped below seventy-five percent, we can really start dealing damage. Josh gathers himself and swings at the injured arm. The Ignavia blocks the swing with its other arm, causing a small cut.

"Keep aiming for that injured arm. It's trying to protect it." I activate Flash Step as I finish speaking and make a beeline for our injured prey. The head of my spear is buried in its arm before it even notices me.

'EEEEEEEHHhhh!'

This time the cry is so loud it makes me dizzy. The Ignavia knocks me back with its good arm and lowers its stance.

"It's about to do something; back up!" Hai notices the odd behavior and gives a warning. We all take a few steps back. The monster shakes slightly and then throws both arms in the air. A hail of mana globules flies out from its body into the surrounding area. We're far back enough that we manage to avoid being hit, but the entire clearing is now a field of ice. After using such a powerful attack, the Ignavia won't have much energy left. While combining your health, mana and stamina into one metric can have its benefits, it's a huge drawback at times like this. We all know how vulnerable the monster is after that attack and rush it without a word.

'Flash step.' I activate my skill in my mind and fly at it with my spear. I dig the sharpened steel into its chest. It tries to scream, but no sound comes out. I pull back to avoid a counter and find it teetering on the brink of death.

"You must have pierced its heart," Hai offers.

"I just hope it doesn't have enough left in the tank to do something crazy," I respond with concern. Much to my relief, the beast staggers back a few steps and then keels over. Sakura then puts her blade through its neck just to make sure it's dead.

"Drink some potions before more monsters arrive." I follow my own advice and down a stamina potion. "It's all pointless? Is that what you're trying to say?"

I throw my words at the tiny angel of death floating above our heads.

"It's frustrating…." Inari shows some unusual vulnerability. "I know we don't belong in this world. We are manufactured beings, homunculi; we only have what's been given to us by our creator."

[She almost sounds like a Christian.]

"I don't think any of that matters." I furrow my brow as I try to piece together my thoughts. "You're a conscious, sentient being just like anyone else. If you choose to reduce yourself to the object known as a fairy, that's okay, but you don't have to. A lot of people objectify themselves to reduce their own options and narrow their sights. It's comfortable to have a clear goal and a path to achieve it. If we view ourselves as adventurers and go on adventures, then we're succeeding or at least progressing towards our success. What's surprising is that I think you know all of this, and yet you bring it up to me. Do you want me to validate your learned helplessness? Do you want me to tell you what you should do? You are the most powerful being I've ever met by miles, and yet you choose to limit yourself with these inauthentic concepts. What do you want, and how can you go about achieving it?"

The air stills as I finish speaking. I'm aware I may be digging a hole for myself, but Inari is an adult, so I'm sure she can handle it without throwing a tantrum. She frowns and floats upward.

"So, you want an adventure, huh?" Her frown deepens. "I'll give you more adventure than you can handle."

"Well, actually, I was using that as an example to show how one might objectify themselves. I wasn't referring to myself or anyone else–"

"Have fun." She cuts me off and coldly flies away.

"Thaaat's not good," I mutter to myself.

"Look out!" Sakura shouts. I whip my head around to find two Griffiths clawing their way out from between the trees.

Saliva drips from the mouths of the hungry predators as they approach us. Sakura finally snaps, and personified wrath sweeps the battlefield. Using whatever weapons she has available, Sakura tears apart the beasts with the support of the rest of our party and the fairies. Our sharply falling morale somewhat improves, but the onslaught doesn't end there. After we defeat the Griffiths, a squad of goblins shows up, and then some Acriporcos, another monster, and another. The two Griffiths were about as much as we could handle; everyone in my party received some kind of injury during the encounter. Lala and Rom came in to save the day but used all their magic in the process. We each chug a healing potion just in time to confront the squad of goblins.