BY THE POOL

[ELLIS' POV]

As soon as he spits out his water, I'm surprised that, that his reaction after he saw me wearing his clothes. I can't hide the fact that I'm shy too.

I looked away as Griffin stood up, he said goodbye to us and made his way out from the penthouse.

After I confessed to him and brought out the feelings that I've been keeping from myself, I've been feeling better than before.

It made me feel lighter and made me feel at ease, knowing that Eros will not leave.

"Ros?"

He looks at me.

"Can I be clingy to you now?"

Shit. I've become a kid.

But I just can't help myself being this way towards him, especially when I knew that we've talked and he already knew my feelings.

"C-clingy?"

I nodded and I sat beside him.

"I-I mean, not clingy as you know, in a relationship but, you know, clingy in a way like a little brother would do," I explained.

I know he still doesn't accept me as his lover or that we're in a relationship, so I'm just accepting the fact that we're still brothers but we're not related, so until he gives in, and I know he will, I will still stay like this, just to be with him.

"Oh." He says and he closes his bottled water.

"El, can we continue what we've talked about earlier?" He asked and I looked at him.

"Of course," I answered.

It would be nice if that's what he wants. I also want closure between the two of us, we may have struggles, issues, or problems, we still have to understand each other if we want to be together.

"Okay." He says and continues, "Where do you want to start?"

"Ros, first, let me ask you this. Is the reason you left included in our conversation?"

He shook his head.

"I'm still not going to tell you that, El."

"Don't worry, I understand," I replied truthfully, I still want to know why he left but I guessed he still doesn't want to tell me.

"El, what about playing something while we're talking?"

"What are we, kids?" I chuckle.

"Why not? We still looked young."

"Let's play truth or dare."

Maybe it's better to play than be serious. But we need to be serious when we talk about ourselves.

"How about we play something different? Like, we will drink when it's our turn to tell our story."

"Why it has to be the one who tells the story?"

"Because, that's our goal, right? To talk more about us." I said and I went to the kitchen.

"Do you have some beers?"

"Um, I think so?" He looks away.

When I open the refrigerator, there are 2 eggs, 1 spring onion, 5 bottled water, and 10 canned beers. I opened the freezer, it's full of ice cream.

"You eat a lot," I say to him.

He laughs sarcastically.

I got 4 canned beers and put them on our table.

"Why don't we sit beside the pool?"

I looked at him confused.

"Pool?"

He nods, "It's outside."

He points from the side of the balcony and I quickly run to it, "Woah!"

He grabs the beers and follows me from behind as I looked at the small pool near the garden.

"Your penthouse is amazing," I said to him and he sat on the bench.

"Did you already tried the pool?" I asked.

He shook his head and I already saw him drinking the beer, I stopped him by grabbing it.

"Ros." I pout and he's laughing at me.

"We didn't even start our conversation."

"Okay, okay! Let's start, what do you want to know first?" He asked and I sat beside him.

What do I want to know from him? There are many things that I want to know, especially why he left mom and me. But, he said, he will not answer that, so I will avoid that question.

"I have hundreds of questions that I want you to answer but I don't know what to choose."

I say to him and I'm swaying my legs, being shy but not too shy beside him.

"That's plenty." He laughs.

"I think let's start from, what did you feel when you first met me again? Or what is your reaction?"

I think that's a good start.

"I first saw you in the ice cream store that we used to go to when we were kids. I went there because I want to visit our favorite place and I thought if I go there, you would be there too. And my guess was right. You were there, and you're talking to Daphne."

I smile while listening to his story.

"I'm happy to know that you're doing okay and that you already have a stable job and you're still buying ice cream in our favorite store."

He says.

"Mine too. When I first saw you, I was surprised because I didn't expect that I would be meeting you at the company and it was such a cliche first meet-up." I chuckle.

"And I've been avoiding you since I've heard your name from Eryx and Ares in the elevator."

"They told me about that too. They are surprised that you've grown up as an adult already when they learned that you are Ellis, the little brother that cries over ice cream."

I chuckle.

"We forgot to drink." He says and he opens one for me, "Drink first."

"We can drink together."

"I'm still not used to this, making you drink a beer." He says and I just shrugged.

I cannot tell him about what happened to me after he left, it is the worst day of my life.

We drink at the same phase and I stare at the pool, "You have a nice pool."

"Griffin chose a penthouse that has a pool but I don't need that."

"Why? It's cool to have a pool."

"I don't like water," I said to him.

"You don't like water? We always talk about going to the beach when we were young."

He stares blankly at the pool.

"Ros?"

He slightly smiles, "I just remembered that I don't like going to the beach or a pool, or any place that has water."

"You're scared?" I teased, "There are no sharks or whales in that pool, you know."

He kept quiet.

"You still remember my promise right?"

He changes the topic.

Maybe, something happened before that made him scared going to the pool or a place that has water.

I just nodded.

"I'm sorry that I couldn't keep that promise before, El. But now, I'm keeping my promise."

I smile, "Okay."

"So, when was it?" I asked.

"About what?"

"Eryx."

Okay, this is the start of the real conversation.

He scratches his head and he chuckles.

"About that... I think it was after college when he confessed his feelings for me."

"Really? I didn't know that Eryx is gay."

"I'm more shocked than you, El."

We laugh.

"I thought that he's going to be a mafia boss or something, he will kill men and not like them," I say to him.

"You're not mad?"

"I'm just jealous." I looked away.

"El, about me and Eryx, we are just best friends who are working together. There's nothing between us." He starts and continues, "There's so much happened in the past that it's hard to explain but... I'm certain that, that's what we are."

"Okay." I just plainly said.

"What about us? Does it still changed your mind about what we are?" I added.

"El, I will be a brother to you but not the way you wanted me to be." He answered. I looked at him and clings to his arm.

"I know but can I just love you still?"

He didn't move and he looks down.

"Even if it hurts you in some ways? Even you expected something else?"

"We did some intimate moments that hurt me. I confessed to you and yet, you rejected me. I've been hurt when you left, Ros. I think I can handle my emotions right."

But I still cried in front of him and I can't hide the fact that I'm still crying out because of my emotions. Handling my emotions? Let's just say I'm lying about that.

He sighs, "El, it's not going to my fault if you get jealous, get mad, or get hurt. I don't want you to feel that way-"

"I know."

"So, it's okay for you to feel that?"

"Yes."

"And you're still going to love me?"

"No matter what."

That's the truth!

There's a sadness in his eyes and I know that it makes him more guilty than ever. But, I can't let him go no matter what!

"I don't know, El." He's still looking down and he drinks his beer.

"I still hold you responsible because you are still my brother." He added.

"I know. It's not going to be your fault that I still love you, okay?" I said to him.

I want to make things clear for him. That's why I held his cheek to face me. When he's already looking at me, I say, "Let me get this straight, Eros Beckett. Even if we have the same surnames, it doesn't mean that we are related, okay? You're the only family I got and I can love you in any way that I want. I'm still going to hold these feelings for you, no matter what. You are my family and the love of my life."

He's looking at me and I think he's processing what I just said to him. I let go of his face and I turned to look at the stars in the night sky.

"I just want you to know that I just officially admitted my feelings to you even if you already rejected me." I finished.

He didn't say anything.

"It's funny to think that you always wanted to have a brother when we first met. And now..." He's going to continue but he stopped.

He slightly laughs and drinks his beer.

"But now, I want you to be my boyfriend." I finished.

He spits it out and I laugh at him.

"Are you okay?"

"It's just... I already had an idea that you preferred a different gender but admitting that to me, it's still a shock."

"When was it? That you had an idea?"

"When I first lend you a hand."

I looked away.

"T-that." It happened in my office when we were about to hang out.

"I just can't help it." He whispers and I heard that, it makes me blush the way he said it.

"I'm sorry that I did that, I know it confused you." He said it and he looks at me.

"I let you, so don't worry about it."

"And also, I kissed you in my office. I'm sorry-"

"Ros, I don't want you to say sorry about what we had shared. For me, it was amazing and I know you want that too."

He sighs, "Why can't it be this hard?"

Talking to himself.

"And why can't you just admit it already?"

I looked at him and he's already looking at me.

Is it the time that we're finally going to kiss?

He held my face and he's looking at me. I can tell from his eyes that he wants me, that he needs me, and he's horny too. His face is getting closer and closer. I'm closing my eyes and I'm letting him do the action.

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