I feel like it is too focus on rudeus and not enough on claude. Basically What I am trying to say is that Calude is a side character and really nothing is happening at this point it is just a diary.
FortuneEternal
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me gustaOf course you're going to get backlash for writing an insert fic then still focusing on the original MC. From what I understand, even when the POV switches, you still have Rudeus as an important part of the story, right? That's a recipe for disaster, especially considering what most people read inserts for and the demographic of this site.
FortuneEternal:you're exaggerating... I mean, Claude IS a mob in Mushoku Tensei, undoubtedly... I put the Rudeus POV for like 6-7 chapter so that the reader can imagine the parts where Claude made an appearance unanimously... his appearance might be small in those chapters, but he actually improved the most within that part. His bit of part actually weight more, and will be the starting line where Rudeus developed... I'm not focused on that part because it's tedious to write, and this should be the part where I fleshed the inconsistency within Rudeus. His lack of passion, and his NEET self within the POV... I really want to just write, "He traveled with Rudeus while Smithing, training his enchantment then doing self meditation... unknowingly they've arrived at Millis Kingdom..." but I know I shouldn't do that, hence, Rudeus's POV... anyway, thanks for the review. I'll make Rudeus POV in a chapter, so it won't take chapters
you're exaggerating... I mean, Claude IS a mob in Mushoku Tensei, undoubtedly... I put the Rudeus POV for like 6-7 chapter so that the reader can imagine the parts where Claude made an appearance unanimously... his appearance might be small in those chapters, but he actually improved the most within that part. His bit of part actually weight more, and will be the starting line where Rudeus developed... I'm not focused on that part because it's tedious to write, and this should be the part where I fleshed the inconsistency within Rudeus. His lack of passion, and his NEET self within the POV... I really want to just write, "He traveled with Rudeus while Smithing, training his enchantment then doing self meditation... unknowingly they've arrived at Millis Kingdom..." but I know I shouldn't do that, hence, Rudeus's POV... anyway, thanks for the review. I'll make Rudeus POV in a chapter, so it won't take chapters
FortuneEternal:you're exaggerating... I mean, Claude IS a mob in Mushoku Tensei, undoubtedly... I put the Rudeus POV for like 6-7 chapter so that the reader can imagine the parts where Claude made an appearance unanimously... his appearance might be small in those chapters, but he actually improved the most within that part. His bit of part actually weight more, and will be the starting line where Rudeus developed... I'm not focused on that part because it's tedious to write, and this should be the part where I fleshed the inconsistency within Rudeus. His lack of passion, and his NEET self within the POV... I really want to just write, "He traveled with Rudeus while Smithing, training his enchantment then doing self meditation... unknowingly they've arrived at Millis Kingdom..." but I know I shouldn't do that, hence, Rudeus's POV... anyway, thanks for the review. I'll make Rudeus POV in a chapter, so it won't take chapters
noted, I'll make the Rudeus part in a chapter later on (if there is any), so it won't take so much chapters. 👍
MonkeReviewer:Yup everything is good it is just that it is slow and nothing really interesting is happening
FortuneEternal:noted, I'll make the Rudeus part in a chapter later on (if there is any), so it won't take so much chapters. 👍
FortuneEternal:you're exaggerating... I mean, Claude IS a mob in Mushoku Tensei, undoubtedly... I put the Rudeus POV for like 6-7 chapter so that the reader can imagine the parts where Claude made an appearance unanimously... his appearance might be small in those chapters, but he actually improved the most within that part. His bit of part actually weight more, and will be the starting line where Rudeus developed... I'm not focused on that part because it's tedious to write, and this should be the part where I fleshed the inconsistency within Rudeus. His lack of passion, and his NEET self within the POV... I really want to just write, "He traveled with Rudeus while Smithing, training his enchantment then doing self meditation... unknowingly they've arrived at Millis Kingdom..." but I know I shouldn't do that, hence, Rudeus's POV... anyway, thanks for the review. I'll make Rudeus POV in a chapter, so it won't take chapters
definitely, i just wanted to expand the world building. though, it seems using one punch man like story telling isn't really that favourable
Mozuto:Oh... Even if he's a mob character he's also a protagonist in this book yes?
I think the issue lies on you focus to much on rudeus? I mean the amount of POV he have is long, it would be preferred if you just make Rudeus a side character and focus more on the MC's growth, and add more character development to the mc and maybe romance
FortuneEternal:definitely, i just wanted to expand the world building. though, it seems using one punch man like story telling isn't really that favourable
well out of 160 chapters rudeus pov only had like 20 chapter-ish, is that really too much focus on rudeus? in addition I've added it so that i along with the reader can adjust with the timeline. there's also the part where Orsted comes to kill rudeus, following the canon makes it easier for me to write
Mozuto:I think the issue lies on you focus to much on rudeus? I mean the amount of POV he have is long, it would be preferred if you just make Rudeus a side character and focus more on the MC's growth, and add more character development to the mc and maybe romance
I'm still at the 50 ish chapter, I'm sure there's a lot of thing the mc and rudeus did to change the original timeline and the appearance of the MC might have cause butterfly effect just by existing, but still follow the canon, but maybe it's just fate or something
FortuneEternal:well out of 160 chapters rudeus pov only had like 20 chapter-ish, is that really too much focus on rudeus? in addition I've added it so that i along with the reader can adjust with the timeline. there's also the part where Orsted comes to kill rudeus, following the canon makes it easier for me to write
right, mana calamity is the turning point where this and canon started to diverging. since the part where Rudeus adventure with eris can be skipped, i purposely let them be the main pov at the time, (i never expected people would hate it so much though... orz) anyway i thought that the journey claude had in the time isn't really that necessary and skipping them isn't really a choice so i just put Rudeus adventures there with several revised parts like his magic and sword mastery or his mentality, but not so much it will change the canon.so, further on the story, it will tell more about Claude and his organizations which he made with Mike before the mana calamity and centers around that.well, Rudeus pov ended in Millis after all, since at that point they parted. the conclusion will be at the time Orsted kills him, and his parting with Eris ended his journey. this is written so that non mushoku tensei reader can go with the flow
Mozuto:I'm still at the 50 ish chapter, I'm sure there's a lot of thing the mc and rudeus did to change the original timeline and the appearance of the MC might have cause butterfly effect just by existing, but still follow the canon, but maybe it's just fate or something