webnovel
dusty_angel
dusty_angelLv45yr
2019-04-05 04:10

All in all, the writing is pretty good. I loved the opening and world-building. There are a few grammar mistakes here and there, and the wording can get a bit redundant. The tenses need to stay consistent throughout the story. There is one thing that I want to point out. The author does it frequently. [ "Why am I even thinking of these foolish things.", Arthur said inwardly to himself. ] It should be: [ "Why am I even thinking of these foolish things," Arthur said inwardly to himself. ] Also, this is supposed to be an Eastern Fantasy novel, but some of the character's names are in English. That kind of throws me off, but maybe I'm just being picky. Other than that, it is a good read. Keep writing, author!

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Asphant
AsphantAutor

"Thank you for this. Actually, in the earlier chapters, I squeezed my vocabulary to the maximum and threw unnecessary words and stuff to increase the word count," I laughed. "Might have to change it sooner or later."

dusty_angel
dusty_angelLv4

"I like how you replied in dialogue form," I laughed. "That's funny. Good luck on your future endeavors!"

Asphant:"Thank you for this. Actually, in the earlier chapters, I squeezed my vocabulary to the maximum and threw unnecessary words and stuff to increase the word count," I laughed. "Might have to change it sooner or later."
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chonnie
chonnieLv4

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