NAO_Cosmic

As a fellow author, I am impressed my the progression of this book, it has been nice from the start, My Dave character is Elsa, she really is the best aid one could ask for an their journey.

I feel like Evan is really real, if after every thing he faced in life he ended up being a goody two shoes, hero or whatever then this story would be crap. his consience should be long dead, but I hope the Author can make us feel the internal conflict

Author of Ttech demon System.this is my second novel, and unlike my first, I delve into magic in this one. there is a connection between my two novels, as you read both, you will see how

to be honest, the novel is a beautiful concept, but the Author is making the same mistake u made in my own first novel. he is describing his character in a detached manner. it pulls the reader out if the story disconnecting him. example.Ray was a boy with red hair, he was tall for his age, he was really handsome. this description is very detached. it separates the reader from his character, in stead of immersing him.but look at this approach.his red hair flowed down reaching his back, some covered his properly sculpted face, he was much more grown than what his age suggested.the second one managed to give us a better understanding of ray, not just a blank description.

hey, I am the author of Tech Demon System. This is my second novel. unlike my first, this novel is a fantasy novel. still this novel has a connection to Tech Demon System, and I hope you can read both as the are connected.

I feel Dal hae act's like a tamper throwing kid, she compaines about her mom sending her and then actually bullies a full grown man. she has good amount of strength but acts kind of like a wimp, and then when she gets angry she changes her demeanor. though am just e few chapters in I hope the author can smooth out the both side to create a balance between her uncertain nature and her anger mide. in further chaps.

well, I believe if you push on, you will find the difference. things begin to get real a few chapters later.

thanks I was working on two novels at the time and things mixed up

thanks 😄 I was working on two novels at the time and things mixed up

I don't normally comment, but this chapter made me feel her struggle literally well done to the author.