Dehni_Olsen
Just a mom who suffers from <insert illnesses>. It sucks but if ya can’t work it, beat it! That’s exactly what writing does for me. I beat back my sickness by creating a different world all together.
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You must be late -or - You’re late You’re must be late needs to be changed.
You tell her Seb!!! Get it!
I wish you would have described how they know each other. She calls him a nickname but why? It would improve the immersion of the book if you had a paragraph or two in the first or second chapter about their history.
Yay!! I LOVE red hair. I’m glad she has beautiful red hair!
Mine would be too, Halora!
even when* the entire school
in shining armor*
I suggest the word invisible, instead of disappeared. Otherwise it needs to be restructured.
onto* when something is on the outside, it’s onto; when something is inside, it’s into.
Like I said …
I’d slap her..
onto*
poured*
Haha A lot of people say that. It’s cheaper than paying for an editor.