SthUnlimted
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So, let's begin. Writing quality is garbage, it sucks so bad it hurts. Just exposition after exposition after exposition, it is so awful to read. Fifty per cent of this is just rehashed again and again. And I don't mean this lightly, remove the info dumps and this novel will be half-length. Even the normal sentences suck. Suck d*ck I say. Story, garbage generic nonsense. It has nothing original at all. Characters, let's talk hypocrisy—sorry I mean the main character, he says he wants to punch a character's face for being two-faced, completely ignoring the fact that he f*cking wrote him to be that way. Now, if this was consistent then it would be fine, a character can be a hypocrite, and I have no issue with that, but his guy randomly starts to feel bad about writing other people's lives like he did. And later he again says he wants to push the two-faced character. Now for the 'lost in his own thoughts bullshit,' the mc, no the pov character(his sister also does this) they get lost in their thoughts and info dump the f*ck out of their mind, and then some other characters shake them out of it. And so, I want to as the author, do you randomly stop in the middle of the conversation and just start thinking about the history of your school? Cuz the MC, MC in which the author blatantly self-inserts does that. Also, the MC thinks he is petty and s*it when he comes off as a childish re*tard. Now a 30-something-old man but a child. Also, author do you even have a sibling let alone a little sister? Or was the little sister just a fantasy you wanted to live out? Why do I ask? Cuz that is how two siblings who are close in age. That's bollocks, siblings present a united front, yes we do that, but we don't act like anime characters, we will tease, make fun of and throw each other under the bus, and we don't f*king suck off each other every time we meet. Also, let me tell you a plot hole. The MC has access to the chaos training ground(time dilating) or some tripe, guess what he does? He uses it. Smart right? Then he goes into the normal school training ground and then randomly meets a heroine there. Cuz why the f*ck not? Stability? F*ck do I know, I read it after it was complete. World background? Generic, well-trodden ground that this author copies. Heck he, even manages to make it cringe, like, he makes a contract with a primordial constitution within 10 chapters. Also, the world government? Really? Think about North Koreans living with the Southern ones. Think about the Pakistani people with the Indians. How do think that will go? Do you know why Austria-Hungary died? Nationalism. Do you think it has stopped existing? Let us not stop there, this author divides the world into Korea(giving it a stupid name) and some other parts, like Europe, Asia, the Middle East and such. Forget about Africa, what is Australia even? Who knows. The funniest thing, Korea is given the same status as f*king continents. Are you kidding me? If this was a Korean book? Understandable, patriotism gotta do what it has gotta do, why are trying to push this though? Even more, the Princess of Europe has 'Von' in her name, so, she is German or adjacent. Did you know that Germany does not have a monarchy? Ugh, I can keep telling you multiple multiple things about this story. But let me leave you with this. This MC says he will not hide things from his family(aka his sister), then proceeds to tell her Jack and tells her to wait for her her birthday...??????????? Why? Why wait for her birthday? Why not tell her right now? What is you f*king reason? You ret*ard. Ugh, this novel is pain.
So much info-dumping, too much info-dumping, information that could have been told throughout more chapters through more natural means was just dumped. And you know what? I skipped all of it, even worse. I promise you, all the information I just skipped, yeah, it's gonna have f*vk all to do with the rest of the plot, so I didn't even miss a thing.
The writing quality was garbage. Please work on it. The entire story was predictable and cringe. The characters were generic and the way they talked was horrible and cringe. The world was so generic that I rolled my eyes multiple times. Now, with my biggest issue, ducking exposition, so much exposition, half of the chapters sometimes are just exposition, for f's sake, stop.
I think you need to cut it down, as it is, it is just a wall of text.
Way...way too much info dumping, cut it down to the essentials, we can guess he has a god's heart from the words 'god heart' programme you really didn't need to state it twice.
Van der wall forces, you mean those weak forces of attraction that can't prevent vapor pressure from forming over solutions? Get real, you know that's BS.
She doesn't know exactly what those protocols are. She can guess what they are but she can't pinpoint them. That is what she meant.
And now this is gonna be a running joke, good on you for that.
Fine you mother ducker. Give me 24 hours.
Well, thanks for the feedback and yeah same.
Maybe it will be useful, but really it depends.