ONE HUNDRED AND EIGHT

Jerome returned home battered, insisting that he leave the hospital. Logan supported his decision, which ended up with him and I having the only argument we've ever had.

Logan stormed out since last night and hasn't returned.

The guys are mum on his whereabouts and I had to drag mom into my mess, to bully the guys into finding out where he's at.

Logan being the secretive man that he is, hasn't said anything to the guys either. All that mom found out, is that Logan's grandfather had a conversation with him at the hospital which left him angry and now I've added to it.

All of my calls were rejected and now, they are going straight to voicemail.

I hate this! I hate when Logan keep things away from me. I hate that Jer's upstairs and even though, it's nothing to climb, I don't want to exert my body.

Maybe, the best thing, would be, to do as mom suggested and leave for Italy with Jer.

Angry and frustrated, I flung my phone against the wooden wall, watching the battery flying one direction and the back piece in another, with the balance of the body remaining where I flung it.

Contented, I went to dust my chair that has been collecting dust for the past few days, but my back pain has been acting up, so I need to relax and I know just the place, since, Logan hasn't been using the area behind my bedroom.

I went into the kitchen and took some pastries the Phillips sent over this morning and four bottle water, adding fruits and snacks, intent on having a picnic on my own.

Smiling at Mrs. Stanley who frowned at my bag, of goodies.

"I'm going to do some studies outside, please convey the message to mom" I ask, hoping the conversation doesn't prolong.

Smiling, but with a concerned expression as she's also aware that Logan and I fought, he left and hasn't returned.

She nods, reluctantly, but I'm happy to be going to one of my favourite spots on the compound, that Jer and Jess never ventured into..

Loading my chair with some books and most of all, my refreshments, I used my back door to hit the short trail to the spring.

Because of the chair, a fifteen or twenty minutes walk, took, more than half and hour and I have no idea what the time is.

Shrugging, I spread my blanket in front the spring and and went slowly down to the ground, trying not to aggravate my back.

It's so hard to concentrate with the problems around me, but, eventually, I felt I was beginning to understand after reading the sane same about seven times.

The spring was cool, so using my two text books as a pillow, I shut my eyes, thinking about what changes I can make to my life at it's present state.

"NO!" I heard myself, shrieking. "Logan!" I awoke in the eerie silence and for a split second, I panicked at the darkness around, before remembering, where I was.

It's been a while since I've had any nightmares from the morning of the shooting. Holding my chest, feeling the pounding of heart.

It seemed so real! The faint moonlight is not much help, but having been here before, I know my bearings.

The most difficult thing for me was getting up, from lying flat on the ground.

"F**K!" I kept muttering as I struggled, with tears threatening to fall. Why did I come here? I kept cursing myself, for my foolishness.

"Logan!" I muttered, but darn him, he wasn't there.

I wonder if he even know that I am out here?

Making one last attempt, promising myself that I will never lay down flat on the ground, I knelt and crawled towards the large tree, I was sheltering under, using it for support, to slowly stand up.

I hate being this way. I have to constantly depend on others to help me. I thought as I packed my belongings to take back to the cabin. I pushed the chair until I got out of the rough dirt track, then rolled myself out smiling, that I made it.

I got back through the back door and apparently, no one realized I was gone. I felt sad, when I saw my broken phone, exactly where I threw it.

Logan hasn't returned!

I didn't eat any of the refreshments that I packed so I remained in the room after showering, mentally preparing myself for another night without the angry man, who is my husband.

It sadden me, that I wasn't missed at all and that hurt. It hurts so f***ing much!

I fell asleep with the books scattered on the bed and got up to see it's just the same.

It's still dark, but I got up, because I have an appointment with Dr. Morris today for a check up. My check ups are more regular than a normal pregnancy because of my situation.

Did I make a right decision by sacrificing my life this way? I am a burden! I am a f***ing burden, like a delicate piece of porcelin.

After changing for my doctor's visit, I ventured out of my room when I heard voices.

"I don't understand? So Logan's to divorce Jamie?" I heard mom asked and then silence followed.

"Your life is in danger so Logan is doing what he has to, to keep you safe." Justin quietly responds, but I still heard.

"But... But Jamie! What is he going to do with Jamie and their baby?" Mom asks nervously.

"If it's a boy, Logan will take him and he, together with, uh Angela. They will raise him." Justin continues as my body shook with fear.

What is Logan doing? He's planning to take my baby?

I clamp my mouth to muffle the sounds that was starting to escape slowly, retreating to my room.

"We have to support Jamie" mom says anxiously.