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World End: The Successor's Contract

Autor: Kirito_K5
Fantasía
En Curso · 350.2K Visitas
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  • 4.3
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  • NO.200+
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Resumen

#Wpc Bronze Winner: Reverse Isekai. IT WAS HIM! HE AND THAT ACURSED BLUE FLAMES! The Demons of sin, well told in the history of mankind were known for the sins they harbored and titled with. Satan... Demon sin of wrath. Lucifer... Demon sin of Pride. Asmodeus... Demon sin of lust gluttony. Abaddon... Demon sin of sloth and Mammon .... Demon sin of greed When all five demons escaped from heaven and took refuge on earth, the goddess sought to destroy the earth and create a new one in other to balance the scale. But one Angel spoke up and begged for the chance to save mankind before it was destroyed. His pleading was heard and he was gifted the power to help destroy the Demons, the Flames of Leviton. With this power, he helped mankind fight against the furious monsters that brought mankind to its knees. Although he didn't do this alone, he had help from his servants known as Ankias, each one having a specific role to play in serving him. As his journey continued, he earned the nickname The Successor and was famous for his good deeds, but all good things must come to an end at one point. Read as Zeno Ayato, struggles to bring the world back to its order while facing trials from fate , deceit and pain along the way. Note: Although the first vol wasn't my best, but I can promise you that second vol has its perks. P.s Smut involved. 100 powerstones - 1 bonus chapter. 200 powerstones- 2 bonus chapter 300 powerstones - 3 bonus chapter

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Tabla de contenidos
Volumen 0 :Auxiliary Volume
Volumen 1 :The eye of seer
Volumen 2 :Lust and will

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Rin_Nurnia
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I like the idea of this book, I can see the building blocks that you have for it and what you are going for. So couple major things that are holding it back and some things that are going for it. Things that are holding it back is this, grammar and details. This feels very rushed and instead of the narrator telling you things they should have the characters do so. For example, the demon that shows up and attacks the mc. Instead of you telling us his name as the narrator, have him introduce himself. Also, one thing I noticed going through this book is you give us information about a place or creature without it being introduced organically. For example the glinx. You dont mention that name until you mention the plants that were found. But by then, you already mentioned the creature so you could have told us the name of the creatures then. This happens a few times and it makes the reader go back and check what you are taking about which takes you out of immersion. The good, it has decent characters and it’s quite obvious that you spent a lot of time thinking about them. However, they also feel very 2d and do not have a lot of emotion. For example the little girl early on. The way she talked in the middle of her dad being eaten made no sense. “ mom? Mom?” Doesn’t sound like she is freaked out it should read like “ mom!? What’s going on?! Where is dad!?” Just add more emotion to your characters. Also, the book jumps around a lot when it isnt necessary. For example, again I will bring up the little girl scene. It’s just kind of placed there. Whereas you could have had that in the begining of the book instead of just explaining that these monsters the glinx showed up. Make that the beginning of your book and have that be the first time they showed up. I would also be way more descriptive regarding places and creatures epecially if they are a major plot point. Over all I like what you are going for, it just needs some editing and more details in both the characters and what they are feeling and the setting and world building.

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