Chapter 32: Panic Attack

Althea awoke the next morning with a severe headache, most likely from sleeping on the bathroom floor. Last night, she had some reservations about her friend's tone. He is possessive, but she is unsure if he wants to love her. She already knows she loves him; she can't just stop loving him.

A knock on the door jolted her out of her trance. "Althea, are you awake?" Allan asks, his voice semi-sleepy. She bites her lower lip, unsure whether to respond to him.

Her wolf eventually won her over. "Yeah," she said quietly, her head resting on her hand.

Her eyes were half-closed as she stared into the void that was the bathroom.

She then hears Allan shuffle around a little, "My wolf is frustrated, he wants to hug and kiss you," he says flatly. Her wolf agreed with Allan, causing her to blush lightly. She sees Allan with bags under his eyes and gets up, unlocking the door. She stands on her tiptoes and pecks his lips. She still has feelings for him.

He smiled briefly before picking her up and laying her on the bed, shortly after hopping in with her. He wraps their two bodies in a warm blanket because the room was a little chilly, and she wasn't sure about him because he wasn't shivering.

"Good girl," Allan says as he runs his fingers through her hair, inhaling her scent and falling asleep within a minute. She then smiled and closed her eyes, only to find herself awake for the next couple of hours.

Allan wakes up after a few hours of staring mindlessly at the dirty ceiling and remains silent for a while. She could feel his heart rate increase.

"Did you sleep well?" she asks, her voice monotone. She was still unsure how he felt about her. She's just not sure, and she's at a loss for what to do until she does.

"Mhm, very. Another fun night would've made it better," he yawns, and she could almost hear him smirk. She then rolls her eyes and pulls away from him.

"Let's not do that for a while," she says honestly. She felt his wolf tense up. "You're too aggressive, I think a little distance will be good, you need a break," she smiled before he could ask why she decided to just answer it.

"What?" Allan exclaims as he rises from his bed, fully awake. "No! We don't need distance," he screams angrily. She turns around and looks into his eyes, where she sees both anger and concern. "How can he feel both feelings at the same time?" she wonders.

"No Alan. I don't truly believe you want to love me. You perhaps said it last night," she says, looking away, uncomfortable.

He had better not have forgotten, because she didn't. All of her emotions were jumbled, and she had no idea what to feel. She just wants to sob and cry because she feels worthless.

"If you must know, I can't love. I don't feel love, but I do feel desire. The desire to keep you and your mate deep connection close to me. To keep you loving me even though I can't love you back." He calms down and crosses his arms.

Althea's mouth slightly opens, and she feels oblivious. She's not sure if it's advisable not to feel love for him, but she doesn't know anything about his past.

She has no idea what has caused him to be so possessive and offending. She argues that being possessive is his way of expressing love, but she is oblivious to it. But she has only recently realized this.

She approaches Allan and wraps her arms around his waist to hug him. "Do you still doubt me, Althea?" he asks as he swings their bodies a little.

She asks herself this question several times, not knowing the answer. "No," she says. She didn't completely dismiss him, but she wasn't certain either. But she needed to reassure him because she didn't want to argue with her mate so soon. Ideally, never, but something always comes up.

"Good," Allan says, kissing her hard. Her eyes narrow in shock for a moment before she closes them and kisses him back. He gripped the upper part of my arm tightly as if he didn't want to let go. He lets go of her hand and pulls away to kiss her cheek once. "And good," he adds.

"Yeah," she laughs, "so what do you have planned for today, or do you have work?" she inquires. Althea hoped he didn't have work because she wanted them to go do something together. It didn't have to involve money, like a stroll through the park.

"I have work sweetie, you should know this," Allan sighs defeatedly.

Althea frowns and nods as she sits on her bed. Today would be another lonely day. She was all by herself. Once again, I am doing nothing.

The bed then dips beside her, and an arm wraps around her waist, "' Sorry, we can do something this Saturday," she shrugs, no longer feeling it. He can't blame her for having a mood swing. She has a mate bond with someone incapable of loving her.

Althea stands up and walks quickly to the restroom, closing and locking the door behind her. She closes her eyes and leans against the door, panicking. She realizes she's overreacting, but her body was acting strangely. She breathed heavily as she slid down the door.

"Althea," Allan knocks on the door, his voice worried. She didn't respond because her vocal cords felt wrecked. "Althea, open this damned door right now!" he yells, banging on it.

She bit her lip so hard that blood flowed. She was having a panic attack for the most insignificant of reasons. It wasn't like she could stop it; it had to happen and then it would be over.

As her vision becomes hazy, tears begin to fall down her cheek. "I'll f*cking break this door down if you don't open it!" Allan exclaims loudly and clearly.

She doesn't respond again, and the door falls on her head and back. She sobbed as she felt Allan's weight above her.

He quickly realizes and rushes out the door, removing it from her. He hurries over to her and grips her tightly. "What's wrong?" he asks, removing a strand of hair from her face. She shook her head, tears still streaming down her cheeks as she tried to wipe them away. "Don't lie to me, sweetie; I'll spend the next few days with you; please don't cry," he bribes her with tears.

"You have work," she stutters, barely understanding herself. Her mind flashes back to strange scenes, one of which is a girl strangely wrapped in chains on the ground. She shakes her head, thinking it's all an illusion because she's tired of doubting her mate.

~

Allan wrapped himself in the sheets and drew his mate close to him, providing her with warmth because it was cold in there. "You are so lovely, sweetie, and I love you," he says softly as he kisses her on the cheek. He stroked her head gently, and she moved a little. He kissed her again, this time on her chapped lips.

"You know you're my world, my other half; I'm incomplete without you; I need you, and I love you so much," he said into her ear. He continued to stroke her lovely hair when he noticed her eyes were squeezed and she appeared to be in pain. Her hands were clenched so tightly around the bedsheets. Allan attempted to calm her down by whispering in her ear.

"Hush, it's okay, sleep tight, sweetie. Don't worry, I'm just right here. Nothing can happen to you," Allan said as he stroked her hair.

~

"No, no, no, don't do this. No, no, get away from me pleased," Althea wriggled desperately, still seeing the same nightmares over and over.

"Wake up, sweetie; nothing can be done; it's all a dream," she hears faint voices in the background. Someone is holding her and trying to soothe her.

"Come on, sweetie, open your eyes," he says softly as he leans in close. "See your handsome mate," he says, slowly tracing his hands over her body. Althea recognized the voice and knew it belonged to her mate.

Althea's skin is drenched in sweat, and her breathing is labored. She can feel him breathing on her neck and kissing it. She awoke from her dream and quickly opened her eyes.

"Don't worry, sweetie. It was just a dream. Don't worry, I'll always be there for you," he says as he removes his hand from her body and his lips from her neck. She took a deep breath in and out and turned to face him.

"Someone wants to hurt me," she sobs as she clings to him.

"Shhh, sweetie, no one's going to hurt you; I'm here, I'm here to protect you; always remember that," Allan tried to reassure her.