12. Drawers & Keys

It was late afternoon when Derek knocked against the familiar front door, and waited patiently for it to be opened. After several long moments, a pyjama ridden, slightly flustered Meredith pulled open the door.

"Derek," she stated, her voice raspy with sleep.

"Hey, I'm sorry I woke you," he said gently, stepping into the front hall and taking in her bedridden appearance. "I thought you'd be up by now."

She sighed and leaned into his chest. It had been a busy week, and she had worked a thirty hour shift, only to be pulled into an emergency surgery at the end. Her shift had been scheduled to end the previous evening, but she hadn't left the hospital until that morning, actually meeting Derek in the parking lot as he was coming in and she was leaving. "S'okay. I'm glad you're here. Though, I keep telling you to just let yourself in," She added lightly.

He rested his chin on her head and rubbed her back. "Did you have a good sleep?"

She nodded against him. "Out for the count, though I feel like I could sleep another ten or twenty hours..."

He laughed and released her with a kiss on the forehead. "Are you still up to going out tonight?"

She met his eyes and hesitated, before finally shaking her head. "I'm sorry, but I'm just so tired. Would you be okay if we ordered in and crashed on the couch instead?"

Derek smiled and nodded. "Of course." It had been two months since he had officially 'picked her' and their relationship had taken on a dimension it hadn't had before; one implicating a strong sense of permanence. It was no longer scheduled dates and last minute sleepovers. It was assumed they would do things together on most of their nights off. And they spent nights together more often than not. They both worked long hours in the hospital, and more than once they had taken to ordering takeout and eating in their pyjamas in her living room. "And because you're so tired, I won't even argue with you about what we order..."

Meredith smirked. "You mean I can order whatever I want?"

He scoffed. "It's not like you don't always order whatever you want anyway. I just won't argue this time."

She laughed. "Okay, it's a deal. And thanks, for being okay with this..." Her voice took on the uncertain tone that he couldn't seem to rid her of.

"It's not a problem, Mer," he said lightly. "I remember what it was like to be an intern. And I still get to have dinner with you. It's win-win." He reassured her as best he could, hoping, as usual, he would never again hear her voice take on that low, vulnerable quality when speaking with him, but knowing full well he would. It still made him feel guilty every time, for the uncertainty in him and their relationship that he had implanted, but he was beginning to understand that it wasn't entirely his fault. There was definitely some history there that was directing her moves. And hopefully, with time, she would one day trust him enough to talk it all through.

"Really?"

"Really," he confirmed with a smile, glad the voice was gone. "Now, why don't you order the disgusting cheesy pizza I know is on your mind, and I'll go and change?"

She rolled her eyes, but he knew he had hit it dead on when she didn't respond. He'd be eating pizza for dinner. Again.

He left her in the front hall and padded quietly up the stairs. Stepping into the sanctuary of what he was slowly starting to refer to as their room in his head, he shed his jeans and light sweater and pulled a pair of track pants and an old tee out of the bottom drawer of the dresser. It had only been two weeks prior that he had been 'given' two drawers of his own.

After dressing for bed, Derek had carefully folded his clothes and placed them in a neat pile on the floor beside his shoulder bag, ready to be pulled back on the following morning. He had taken to bringing a small overnight bag with him on most nights, however tonight he hadn't planned on being here. Meredith had been asked to switch shifts at the last minute, suddenly leaving her evening free, so they had taken advantage to go out to see a movie and grab a bite to eat.

His shift started early the next day, leaving him even more even more determined to spend the night, even if that left him sleeping in his boxers and one of his old tees that he would have to steal back from her. However, instead of crawling into bed beside him, Meredith scooped his pile of clothes from the floor and deposited them into the bottom drawer of her dresser.

"What are you doing?"

She turned to face him, smiling, but her upper body hunched a bit in the way that told him she was unsure of her actions. "I, uh, cleared out some drawers for you, because that's what people do in relationships, right? That's what you said, anyway... And I think it's time. I mean, you're here all the time...and I don't think you should have to bring stuff with you every time...and you already left a toothbrush...so...I just think it's time." She paused and met his eyes. "But, if you don't want them, I understand...I...I didn't even think about..." She sighed. "I'm sorry. I'm not good at this."

Derek sprang out of bed and grabbed for her hands. "You're better at this then you think."

"Really?"

He smiled and kissed her. "Absolutely."

"So, you want the drawers? Like, you'll actually leave stuff here?"

He nodded. "I'd love to leave stuff here." He kissed her again, and wrapped his arms around her waist as she responded. She shifted, and her arms hooked around his neck as they stumbled backwards towards the bed. And, in the end, it hadn't mattered that he hadn't brought pajamas with him; he had ended up sleeping without any clothes on.

Dressed comfortably, Derek made his way down the familiar wooden stairs to join his girlfriend on the couch. She shifted to make room between him and the arm rest, and tucked her body flush against his side as soon as he settled. He closed his arm around her small frame and sighed happily. This was exactly the type of evening he loved. Just the two of them; comfortable, happy, together. They didn't need fancy restaurants and charity dinners and an active social life.

"How was your day?" She questioned.

He sighed. "Stressful. There was a pile up on the freeway. Lots of head injuries. I performed three craniotomies before lunch." He sighed. "But they were all successful, so that's something."

"That's good," she agreed easily, shifting to meet his eyes. "What else was stressful?"

He allowed a small smile, knowing she was already apt at reading him. "It's Addison," he admitted quietly. After their friends had returned to New York, he and his ex-wife had no reason left to interact, and so began a long, awkward process of avoidance and stares and cold shoulders. It had been close to a month now, with no progress or change in either direction.

"Oh," Meredith said softly, her body tensing almost imperceptibly.

"Hey," he spoke lightly, reaching for her hand. "It's not like that. I just..." He sighed. "I don't know what she's doing here. She's clearly miserable. And I meant what I said before; she's not a bad person. She wouldn't move out here just to make me miserable. And yet, here she is. And I'm tired of the glares and remarks and muttering under her breath. And I'm tired of feeling guilty, like I'm the reason she's unhappy. It's not my fault she's here. I thought she was going back to New York to stay."

"Okay." Meredith nodded, squeezing his hand.

He narrowed his eyes. She wasn't the only one getting good at reading the other. "What?"

She sighed heavily, looking almost as if she was going to ignore his prodding. But she took a breath and met his eyes. "I think she moved here for you."

He shook his head. "No, she signed her contract after the divorce was final. It had nothing to do with me."

She paused. "Look, I know you've been getting the looks and everything from her, but so have I, and-"

"I thought you said she was leaving you alone?" He snapped, his anger welling inside as he pulled back to face her fully. There was nothing more difficult than trying to build a new relationship with your ex-wife looking over your shoulder. And Meredith had assured him she was not being bullied by the former woman in Derek's life.

"She is-"

"But you just said-"

"Derek!" She cut him off. "Would you stop arguing and listen for one freaking second." She wasn't mad, but her eyes were flashing in clear annoyance.

He nodded. "Sorry."

She sighed and breathed. "I know she's making your life difficult," she said in a softer tone. "But when I pass her, she doesn't glare at me, she..." Meredith trailed off for several seconds. "Look, I've never been in this situation before, or anything even remotely like it. And I'm not good at knowing everything yet, but when I catch her looking at me..." She met his eyes, hers suddenly portraying a noticeable amount of uncertainty and guilt. "When she looks at me, I think she's hurt, and I think she's jealous." She took a breath. "Derek, I think she misses you."

"She has no right to be hurt by us, no right to miss me."

"I know," she said quietly. "But that doesn't change the fact that she does."

"So, you think she moved here..."

"To wait," she concluded.

"For what?" He asked, fearing he knew the answer.

"For you."

Derek felt his heart clench at the vulnerability in her expression. He sighed heavily and pulled her close again, his hands finding purchase along her spine as he met her eyes evenly. "She can wait as long as she wants, she'll never get me again."

Meredith nodded, but her eyes betrayed her, flicking away from his every few seconds, unable to maintain contact.

"Oh, Mer..." He leaned his forehead against hers. "I love you. And I know it's early, and I know that you've never done this before and you have doubts, but I have faith in us. The way you make me feel..." He shook his head. "I've never felt this way before, with anyone. Even Addison. And it's too early to be making plans and commitments, but I hope that one day we'll be in a place where we can."

She swallowed and lifted her head away from his. "Really?" She asked, her voice thick with emotion.

He smiled and kissed her lightly before responding. "Really. Is that okay?"

She took a shaky breath, but bravely maintained eye contact. "I think so. I think it's okay. And...I think I hope that too."

"Good." He kissed her again.

"I'm sorry that I'm not ready to talk about it yet," she admitted.

"Mer, it's only been a few months. It's early."

"Are you sure?"

"Absolutely. I'm not in a hurry. This won't work if we're not both ready."

She cracked a small smile. "Okay." She kissed him this time.

"I do hate that she's making you feel this way, though," he spoke after she pulled away. "She has no right to make you feel temporary. And she has absolutely no right to make you feel guilty."

Meredith shrugged. "It's okay," she reassured him. "As long as you're here to remind me of that, then it's okay."

He smiled warmly. "I'll always be here to remind you."

"Good."

000

Derek awoke alone to the ringing of Meredith's alarm clock. He groaned and rolled across the cold sheets of the queen size bed to reach for the source of the annoyance on her nightstand. It was a little past seven. She had needed to be in for early rounds, so had left him in bed that morning. He had nothing scheduled until after nine, and as he had been on late the previous evening, had forgone going in early with her. At first he had eagerly gone in early with her, and stayed well past his shifts to wait for her, but in the past few weeks, their relationship had fallen into a gentle routine.

The excitement and impulse to be together all the time was still there, only minimally reduced, but a comfortable sense of contentment was slowly taking over. If their shifts were close, or they stayed at the trailer, they would commute together, but on days like today, they could easily fall into a routine such as this. There was no longer the fear of losing her interest if he was not around at all times. He could go in later, hopefully bump into her for lunch, and they would come home together at the end of the day. They were moving from the exciting beginning part of their relationship into a comfortable middle area. And things were still happy and exciting and worth while.

After a moment of hesitation, Derek stretched and rolled out of the bed he still felt to be the most comfortable one he had ever slept in. Stumbling into the bathroom, he relieved himself and brushed his teeth, before grabbing a towel and heading across the hall for a shower.

It wasn't until he was back in Meredith's room, fully awake, hair dry, half dressed, that he caught sight of the note on her dresser. Pulling his button-up over his shoulders, he left it undone as he reached for the paper and the small piece of metal weighing it down.

Hopefully this will finally make you stop knocking,

Love, Mer.

Derek laughed through his smile as her words as he flipped the small key over and over between his fingers. It may be a small object, but it held an enormous amount of weight. And the fact that she was the one initiating this particular step gave it even more weight.

With a nod, Derek slipped the key into his pocket and finished dressing, suddenly in a hurry to get to the hospital.

000

Meredith followed her resident out of the main lobby after announcing a successful surgery to an anxious family. She had been in early that morning and had scrubbed in with Bailey immediately following rounds. It was a little after noon now, and Meredith couldn't help but wonder if Derek was still in surgery. She had had the key cut a week prior, but had not been able to muster the courage to actually give it to him, so she had finally decided to just leave it out for him to find. And early that morning, it had seemed like a decent idea, but now that she had had a chance to think about it, she was regretting it.

"You did good work today, Grey," Bailey spoke when they were out of earshot of the family. "Go and have lunch and then spend your afternoon in the pit. If something surgical comes in, go ahead and scrub in."

"Thanks, Dr. Bailey," Meredith answered with a nod, turning for the elevator before her resident could changer her mind.

After paying for her meal, Meredith stepped into the open cafeteria, eyeing the occupied tables and shaking her head when she didn't recognize any of her friends. She did, however, recognize a vividly familiar redhead bent over her lunch, making some notes into a chart. Meredith sighed and turned to find an empty table as far away as she could.

She was only half way through her burger when a familiar form plopped down close beside her.

"Hey," Derek said softly as he pulled his chair close to hers and kissed her cheek.

"Hey."

"I tried to find you when I got here."

"I was scrubbed in with Bailey all morning." She answered quickly and moved to take another bite of her lunch, hoping to discreetly avoid meeting his eyes.

"So," he stated, and there was a slight pinging noise as he set something small down on the table in front of them.

Meredith didn't have to look to know it was the shiny new silver key she had been hiding in her drawer for a week. "So," she repeated, looking towards him, but not into his eyes.

He laughed quietly. "Apparently I've been keyed..."

Meredith had to bite back her own laugh at his words. "Uh-huh."

"Meredith..."

She finally met his gaze and offered him what she hoped to be a nonchalant smile. "It's not a big deal."

Derek shook his head. "I think it's a big deal."

Meredith sighed inwardly, but continued to meet his eyes. He was smiling, so she was sure he wasn't upset by it. "Derek..."

He leaned closer and his arm snaked around her lower torso. "Did you think I was going to take the key and not show up at work and make a big deal out of it?" His eyes were sparkling.

"I was kind of hoping you hadn't seen it," she admitted quietly. "It seemed like a good idea this morning, but then..." She trailed off.

"Do you not want me to have it?"

"No, I do. It's just, the actual giving it to you was harder than I thought. I wasn't really sure what the protocol was supposed to be."

The pressure around her waist changed as he tightened his grip. "There really isn't a protocol," he told her. "These things just happen. You could have just given it to me in person."

"I tried," she admitted. "But I..." She shook her head. "I decided it was better this way. If you wanted it, you could take it, if not you could leave it."

He sighed, and she couldn't help but look away from his eyes. "How long have you had it?"

Meredith glanced at his eyes and then quickly away. "A week."

"Oh, Mer, what am I going to do with you?" He turned in his chair to wrap his second arm around her, and pressed his lips against the side of her head. "You don't need to be afraid to do these things with me. I'm in this. I love you."

"I know," she told him, and she did, but it was always reassuring to hear. "I just don't always feel like I'm on par with you. You've done this before, and I haven't, and I'm not sure of when these things are supposed to happen." She sighed and turned her head to meet his gaze once again.

He offered her a gentle smile and released his tight hold on her. "Every relationship is different. So, if you're feeling like we're ready for this, it probably means we are."

"So, you're okay with this?"

He laughed. "Meredith, I'm wonderful with this."

She smiled at his excitement. "So, you won't knock anymore?"

"Nope. Now I'll be over all the time, and no matter how annoying you find me, you won't be able to keep me away."

She smirked. "And how will that be any different from now?"

He wasn't able to mask the shocked expression she left him with. "Ouch," he feigned hurt, pulling both arms away to jokingly clutch at his chest.

Meredith laughed.

"Well, then, I know when I'm not wanted," he sighed dramatically and made a move to leave.

Meredith reached out and pulled his arm back around her waist. She leaned in close and kissed him. "Thank-you," she whispered as they pulled away.

"For what?"

"For calming me down, again. I wish I was better at this."

"Meredith." He kissed her again. "It's my job to be here for you, for whatever you need. But seriously, everyone does the relationship thing for the first time. And you're not doing anything wrong. You have good instincts; you just need to learn to trust them."

Meredith smiled at his honesty. "Okay. I'll try."

"Good. And..." He trailed off as he reached into the chest pocket of his scrub top. "These are for you." He pressed two small silver items into the palm of her hand. "I stopped at the hardware store on the way to work."

Meredith couldn't help the beaming smiling the lit up her face. She had initiated a step, and he was happy and committed to it. She had been overjoyed when he took the drawers she had offered earlier in the month, but this was different. This said I want you around all the time, not only when I invite you. This was an actual step. This went both ways. And she had initiated it. And it definitely had a confidence building effect that he was so apt to be a part of it.

"Why are there two? Are trailers in the middle of nowhere big break in spots in need of extra security?"

He rolled his eyes in good humour. "Ha ha, make fun of the trailer."

She laughed and couldn't help but lean in for a quick kiss.

Derek smiled warmly as he pulled away and gently pried open her hand. "This one is for the trailer," he told her, pointing to the larger key. "And this one," he motioned to the smaller key, "Is for my office."

"Your office?" Meredith asked in surprise.

He nodded. "Yeah, I thought it was a good idea, seeing as you gave me the code for your locker."

"Okay," she said with a smile. "Okay," she repeated quietly.

"Okay," he responded with a nod.

"So, the key thing was a good idea?"

"It was a wonderful idea." He kissed her again.

"I love you," she told him softly when he pulled away.

"I love you, too."

AN: I hope there's still interest in this story! I am so sorry for the massive delay between chapters. For those of you who haven't also been reading What I'm Here For, I left a note in a few chapters regarding this story. I thought I could handle both storylines, but I was getting certain plots crossed and had to back off of one to finish the other. And because this one was newer, it drew the short straw. But, I'm back to writing it now, and I hope there's still interest. This chapter was a bit off to write, but I had to read the story twice to get back in the mindset. Really it was written to cement the fact that their relationship is progressing. Mer still has some insecurities, which with her background is to be expected only a few months into this, but she'll be able to work through them with him, instead of having them increased because of him. The next chapter will be based around one of my fav episodes, Thanksgiving, and then on to the more exciting stuff of season two. Thanks to everyone who is still interested and still reading.