Chapter One

"This is a really nice lake," Mom said. "Isn't this nice, Ashley?"

"Yeah," I muttered. "I love the ducks."

I felt a sharp pain in my chest. I missed my best friend, Mia. She loves ducks.

But she wasn't here. She was back home in Georgia. And I was here in Sacramento, California with nobody but my family and a couple ducks, trying to fit in at my new school and church ward.

"Let's cross the bridge!" Dad said.

"Great idea!" Mom replied enthusiastically.

"Um," I interjected, wondering how they could be so happy. "I think I'll stay here for a while. I'm kinda tired."

To my surprise, my mom said, "Okay."

The two of them went together to cross the bridge, holding hands as they went. I watched them, feeling a weighty sadness that I couldn't quite explain. Seeing them laughing together… holding hands… looking so happy to just be with each other… what was that like?

Click… click… click…

I looked over my shoulder and saw a shaggy-haired boy on a skateboard riding up to me. He grinned.

"Hey," He said.

"Hello," I replied awkwardly. I turned back to my parents and continued watching them, but to my surprise the boy sat down across from me at the table.

"I'm Nick," he said, holding out his hand. I shook it.

"I'm Ash," I replied.

"I haven't seen you around," He tilted his head. "Do you come to this park a lot?"

I finally realized he was flirting with me. Don't panic.

"No, I just moved here. From Georgia."

"Oh, a southern girl!" He exclaimed. He smiled again. "Cute."

"Um. Yeah." I looked over his shoulder. My parents had looped around and were coming back.

He noticed too. "Hey, do you think I could have your number?"

I almost told him. I really did. I'd promised myself that when I moved I wouldn't lie anymore. But I thought about my parents. Laughing. Holding hands. In love. I wanted that.

And when was the last time I tried with a boy, anyway?

"Sure," I found myself replying.

* * *

"Who was that?" Mom asked with a knowing grin. "Friend from school?"

"No, I've never seen him before." I replied.

"I noticed he was staring at you when we walked past the basketball hoops." Dad teased.

"Oh, lovely." I grumbled.

"He seems cute," Mom said, smiling. "What did he want?"

"My number," I confessed. "I gave it to him."

Mom and Dad smiled at each other. They smiled at me. Happy, happy, happy.

I didn't miss the desperate hope I saw in their eyes.