Nevertheless, Dying Isn't An Escape From You

"Though my mind erased you from every aspect of my brain, my heart has been able to paint it with a vivid sight of you."

I woke up feeling like I was missing something—that sentence. It felt like I was going to cry. Is this Liselotte's body reacting to those words? If so, why are they so important to the point that I'm about to cry? 

That isn't important right now; I can figure that out later. What's important now is that I have to go back to the real world, where my real body is. 

So, for the remainder of the week, I tried dying and dying. But it never worked. 

Monday: Suicide by jumping off the balcony. Failed 

Tuesday: Suicide by overdosing. Failed

Wednesday: Suicide by hanging. Failed 

It's like everything I do; I always come back to life. I can't escape from this world, and it's like it's preventing me from dying.

But how can that be unless there's some entity that wants me to stay or the doctors are brilliant at treating people? Shouldn't that be the opposite? Back then, people needed better medical tools than we do in Korea.

When I was stuck in my thoughts, the maids looked at me with worry; they were probably wondering if I was planning my next suicidal attempt. But I think I'll stop for now. There has to be another way to escape.

"Uh, maids?"

"Yes? M'lady? Is everything okay? You know your father is worried about you. All of a sudden, you're trying to die." 

Oh, I forgot. Liselotte was someone's daughter. Her father wasn't mentioned much in the folklore, only that he died after Liselotte died. He couldn't bear the loss of his daughter and, even more, the fact she was possessed by some demon. 

"Ah, I see his father doing well?" 

You should check on him; you haven't had dinner with him for quite a while. The maids nodded and agreed with each other, waiting for me to agree as well. 

I should decline, but I need to spend more time finding a way to escape. But, my curiosity got the better of me. What was Liselotte like? Moreover, what does her father think of Liselotte? Would he notice that his daughter has changed?

"Fine, why not?"This was a horrible mistake. The awkwardness in the room is intoxicating; nobody is speaking. It is even more awkward because it's just me and Liselotte's father. Shouldn't any caring, doting father ask how she was doing? Moreover, why did she try to kill herself? Perhaps those maids were lying to me. The man before me couldn't care less about his only child.

I scanned his attire and overall appearance. Black hair, tailored black vest, jacket, high neckline, and ruffled collar. A suitable appearance for a Count. 

"Liselotte, how disgraceful can you be? Your sudden want to die has caused chaos in the Halhenstine household. Not only that, people, I'm a bad father for letting my daughter be careless and slow-witted; because of your half-witted brain, I've lost many deals and connections. Is this what you want? Do you want to be a commoner?"

Wow, what a father. Is this the same man who willingly died because Liselotte died? 

"Father, how can you be cruel? You're thinking about deals and connections and not even how I'm doing?"

"It would've been easier if you died because it's easier to cover up your death with a feverish state. But no. You had to survive."

This man is ruthless. If I were his daughter, I would have been devastated. Who says this to their daughter? 

"But there is a way to salvage things. I will be your date to the ball of the season hosted by the Adheld Royal Family. I expect you to be on your best behaviour. Please, for the sake of our household, be expectant of a Countess. If the Royal Family lost all faith in our family, don't you realize how desperate our family would be?"

Adheld Family? So Kaiserin will be there. I don't know his appearance, but it should be obvious when I arrive there. Crown Princes, the ones I read in novels, are usually dressed in jewelry to the toe up. Suppose that isn't Kaiserin, then that's most likely the Emperor. But should I avoid Kaiserin? In the story, Liselotte has a crush on Kaiserin, but I'm pretty sure Kaiserin hated her, or else he wouldn't have killed her easily. Liselotte was a thorn by his side. 

But if I'm being honest, Liselotte's feelings for Kaiserin aren't real. She was bloodthirsty for the throne, and she must have thought that Kaiserin was the only way to get it. 

"I see, father. I'll be on my best behaviour."

But if Kaiserin and Liselotte have a terrible relationship with each other, it's better to avoid him so I don't cause any unnecessary problems.