A Stroll To The Past: Tang-Ji

Golden Time

Both a promise and a mistake were made long ago, with time acting as a painkiller to numb the memories.

Seven years before the incident, Tang-Ji, Kazami, and Hoyeon met in a field of flowers near a mountain summit. Their parents were acquaintances and business partners, all working for the largest game company in Japan. They were all on a long business holiday, leaving their three children roaming around in the vast forests of the Iya Valley, which were covered in warmly coloured flowers and trees. Where they stayed for the next 3 months was the largest valley in Japan, famous for its beautiful mountains and bewitching allure. Different types of flowers bloomed here, and as each season came by, new flowers would rise and fill the air with their sweet aroma.

In our first encounter with each other, the three of us became friends instantly through our common interest in video games. No surprise there, since our parents worked for a gaming company. Games were where it all began. We would go on adventures in open-world games to fight monsters, explore dungeons, build houses, and relax while observing the virtual sunset together.

Because our parents worked in a game company, we all grew up loving video games and were as passionate as our parents were about the world of virtual technology. Although our parents were strict with how much time we could spend on the screen, they were still reasonable and even allowed us to be beta testers for games that were still in development.

We were enamoured by the virtual world, as it displayed breathtaking scenery in high-quality graphics that were almost indistinguishable from reality. Even so, despite us being so in love with the virtual world, we were also fascinated by the many wonders of the real world, as reality is the inspiration that these virtual worlds drew from. We would game all day and go out exploring when dusk arrived.

The three of us always ventured into the colourful valley near a mountain summit. With our thoughts only filled with video games at the time, we would always pretend to be in an MMORPG and reenact our roles from the game. Kazami was a holy knight who was married to Hoyeon, the priestess in the game. Both were members of a large guild and often took on quests with other parties, while Tang-Ji, a gunslinger, was a solo player who only formed parties with her friends. In the game, we were always brimming with excitement, while in real life, we were filled with curiosity. At the foot of the mountain, there would always be loud echoes of laughter travelling with the wind across the sunset.

"Kazami-Kun, help! A strong monster just appeared, and my mana is low. Ji-Chan, where are you?" Hoyeon yelled playfully. A boyish voice screamed. "Tang-Ji, our gear's durability is low; we need to retreat!" Kazami shouted. "Guys, this is getting too real," said Tang-Ji, giggling at their antics.

We would always come to that same spot, the one under a huge tree, to plan the next game we played.

Both Hoyeon and Kazami were really into video games, as they were constantly playing online games on their tablets. Back then, it felt like we were all just friends, but the relationship that Kazami and Hoyeon had was deeper than that of a normal friendship. Naively, I questioned their friendship; however, I was too blind to recognise their bond.

They would always grind dungeons in the game for hours on end together, while Tang-Ji explored the game to get more experience. Soon, our friendship was united along with our dream to recreate the memories we experienced here, knowing that this would be the first and last time we'd meet.

One evening, there at the mountain summit, just before sunset, the three of us made a vow, "To one day become computer geniuses with the capability of developing a virtual world that can not only mimic reality itself but also replay all the fun memories we have right now." We all said it in unison as the wind blew our voices throughout the valley.

"If we want to achieve this, we'd better get serious about studying when we get back. And I'm mainly referring to you, Tang-Ji," teased Kazami as he continued to poke fun at Tang-Ji's obsession with games.

"I'm not obsessed; I read books sometimes as well." Pouting her face out jokingly as if she were offended.

Hoyeon giggled on the side. "Hey guys, you know I'm serious about this. I want this dream to come true. To be able to experience a world from our memories that is almost indistinguishable from reality. Then we can replay these memories again and again forever." "Yeah, I agree; I want this dream to become reality as well," Kazami added.

At that time, we were naive kids who made a silly promise without knowing its true meaning.

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Dimmed Time

One day, a smile became a frown, and laughter became tears. Kazami and Tang-Ji found out Hoyeon was being manipulated online by cruel strangers in-game. The digital world is vast and seems almost endless; people would come and go, living their lives without any remorse for things they had done or said. After all, the online world is often used as a means to escape from harsh reality.

Hoyeon was often described as overly caring; though her intentions are good, she sometimes neglects herself while caring for others. She would often talk to strangers online while allowing them to vent all their frustration and anger at her.

Although back then it seemed like she was doing it out of genuine care for others, she was already emotionally damaged by all those other frustrations. She unknowingly allowed herself to be used, thinking that it was going to help somebody else.

It was more like cyberbullying than anything, yet my foolish self could not comprehend the situation that Hoyeon was in. 

My friend was being bullied, yet I chose not to understand or help; I wanted to ignore how my friend was hurting. In that instant, I felt like I was worse than those strangers breaking Hoyeon.

Over time, Hoyeon became more distant from us. With the end of our holiday drawing near, we knew we had to help soon, as we would not be seeing each other again for quite some time after this. Kazami and Tang-Ji tried desperately to persuade Hoyeon to give up on helping random strangers, but because of her solicitous nature, it backfired on them, and she then began to hide it from everyone. That night, the wind howled with swollen noises of sorrow.

One day, Tang-Ji walked into her cabin while she was on her tablet, desperately trying to calm down a young boy that seemed around our age. She stared at the screen with tears streaming from her eyes. Tang-Ji knew something was wrong, but she didn't have the strength to tell her parents about it.

To put it bluntly, I had a general idea of what was going on, yet I chose not to take action.

Why might you ask? Maybe it was because I secretly felt jealous of the close relationship that Hoyeon and Kazami had.

The three of us agreed that we were close friends and that no secrets should be kept from each other. Because of my ignorance and because Tang-Ji believed in his words, it seemed like there was already a romantic entanglement between them. How foolish were we, Tang-Ji?

One night, under a dim sky illuminated by the stars, Tang-Ji stood quivering as she silently wept after hearing about Hoyeon's predicament. Even as ignorant as we were back then, Kazami was still able to comfort us and explain that everything would be okay. 

As the stars continued slowly across the sky, the sound of footsteps began to echo from behind. Tang-Ji slowly turned around, with tears still running from her eyes and red from where she rubbed them, and she saw a silhouette of a person. There stood Kazami, who slowly trudged towards her with a detached look on his face. 

'Was I that pathetic, crying like that? It makes me laugh looking at this scenario again.'

"It's as though it was just yesterday that we were all united here under this tree," Tang-Ji muttered while sniffling and trying to hold back tears.

Kazami reached out from behind her and patted her on the head. "Don't worry, we'll find a way to help Hoyeon and make her smile again." It was obvious that Kazami didn't have a plan in mind, but it was nice of him to comfort her.

Again and again, day after day, we both could hear Hoyeon through the wall as she quietly mourned in silent pain. She slowly stopped leaving her room as the days went by. We were worried about her health as her body became frailer and thinner every time we saw her.

With pent-up frustration welling up inside Kazami, he steps up with all his courage to confront Hoyeon, who was left in pain. Their conversation was short enough to spark up fuel for violence right before Tang-ji's eyes. The sudden anger abrupted, escalating into a snap of his oppressive self. He hurled a chair across the room, hitting Hoyeon in the arm.

"Why Kazami? Why did you?" she pleaded.

"Because you're an idiot, letting someone else's pain sink its fangs into your own life. You are allowing yourself to crumble under his selfish scorn and problems. SNAP OUT OF IT!" He screamed desperately. 

"You're so selfish; you know that," she muttered.

Tears erupted from Hoyeon's dollish face as our parents rushed into the room. That was the first time that Tang-Ji learned about Kazami's temperamental nature. 

He was quietly sent back to his room, and Hoyeon was left with a rosy scar on her right arm. This event eventually led to the end of their friendship. After the fight, the three of us were never seen together again.

The following afternoon came with a blink of an eye, tempting Kazami to confront our parents about Hoyeon's predicament; however, this would mean Hoyeon would be brought home early due to her constantly degrading condition. Hoyeon would be forced to leave for immediate, intensive care as soon as her condition was known. We spent a few minutes discussing what we should do to help her, but we all came to the same conclusion. Hoyeon needed to go home.

We all knew that this was the only way to help Hoyeon get better. Later that night, Kazami went upstairs to our parent meeting.

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Dark Time

The night sky was glowing red.

I hovered over the tall wooden cabin that we stayed in. I floated down gently and poked my head through the roof. It was then that I spotted a young Kazami slowly ascending the stairs.

This night would come to be unforgettable for Kazami. As he carefully stepped up each stair that led towards the conference room, he could hear a muffled argument coming from behind a white door. Although he was already halfway up the staircase, the voices he heard were far too loud to not be serious.

Back then, I regretted not following Kazami up those stairs. If only I had come with him, we could have been more level-headed and calmer about what was about to come. Confronting our parents would have been the only way to prevent the tragedy that was approaching.

As he slowly shuffled across the creaky wooden floor, he could hear what sounded like the desperate voice of a man. "My girl doesn't have time anymore; Hoyeon will die soon if I don't use the system!" The muffled voice continued, "I have to use the system now!" Kazami quietly cracked open the door a little to see what was going on.

A familiar female voice chimed in to retaliate: "You can't be serious with this plan; our sole purpose with this company is to entertain people through the development of the virtual world. You're willingly placing millions of people in danger just to extend her life span by a couple of years? Have you gone insane?" It was the voice of Kazami's mother.

"You're not even considering the well-being of others!", added another familiar voice, this time Kazami's father.

"Who is to say that this will have a guaranteed success rate? This should be considered a crime to humanity itself!", said the final silhouette. It was a woman who closely resembled Tang-Ji—if she was older, that is.

Upon hearing this, Kazami silently stepped back down the stairs with a confused look as he quivered with chills running down his spine. Although he did not pick up most of the things the figures had said, a million different thoughts raced through his head, all coming back to that one phrase. The one phrase that stood out to him most now was burned into his memory: "Hoyeon will die soon."

Even now, hearing those words again frightens me to my core in this divided soul of mine.

The very next morning, Tang-Ji woke up after what seemed to be a nightmare. Tears were streaming from her little eyes. I also had a dream that night, and although I could not recall the dream I had, I had a feeling that our dreams and reality were closely linked. Walking slowly down into the kitchen, Tang-Ji sat there, wondering whether Kazami and Hoyeon were awake. As she panned around the kitchen table, she noticed Kazami in the corner opposite her, hugging his legs with his face buried in his knees. It seemed like he'd been there forever since he witnessed the conversation last night. Tang-Ji's surprise quickly turned into concern and interest, as she urged him to spill the conversation from last night.

To be honest, I used to be such a girly girl and kind of a fusspot; looking at this again is embarrassing. The wind was her element. We both lived with a free mind and an abundance of incredible, impossible dreams. I forgot how much has changed since then, though I know my existence now will only be temporary. I've gained so much knowledge about Tang-Ji, though not in a million years would I have thought that I'd be this naive to people's emotions and my surroundings. I guess being a little kid addicted to games does dull your sense of reality.

The clock on the kitchen wall could faintly be heard ticking as those two conversed in the background, while I drifted away as time passed. After a few minutes of constant pressing, Kazami finally told her everything he'd heard last night. Hearing the events that transpired left her speechless; she was dumbstruck and terrified. The more Kazami told her, the more her mental state began to deteriorate.

Now that I remember, I didn't react too well when he told me the truth.

A while later, after calming down, we all agreed to confront our parents tonight. Our only mistake was not telling Hoyeon about anything, as we thought this was the best course of action. With her current mental state, we thought that telling her would only make things worse.

With a little time remaining, I wasn't sure where this would lead. I glanced at the clock to my left as the small needle landed at 5 o'clock. Then I glanced outside the window; the outside world looked as if it were accelerating. The clouds speedily crossed the sky, while the birds eerily skated along the blue horizon. The butterflies and other tiny insects' movements sped up as though the world were a movie being put into fast-forward.

It seems like about an hour from now will mark the countless days of my coming into this world.

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Time's Up

I tiptoed along the edge of the mountain as I stared down into the vast valley of Iya. I glanced down at the small wooden lodge, dressed in red by the shadow of the night. Slowly but surely, the dusky red clouds began to chase themselves away from each other, parting from the scarlet moon. The nocturnal winds riled me up to howl my wails loudly.

"It seems there'll be a lunar eclipse tonight…" I thought to myself. I sigh slowly before wiping away my tears. I began to coast along with the night's fragrant breeze one last time before descending back down to my younger, artless self.

At last, 6 o'clock.

I threw my attention to the side of the hallway as I slowly ambled down the staircase. The clock's large hand struck 12 as it rang throughout the corridor with digital chaos, shaking this memory itself.

On the first floor is a large dining room, in which lies a stretched-out table of latticework with crystallised snowflake patterns ingrained on the timber. Sitting in stillness on the side was Tang-Ji, who was frightened of what would come of our last dinner together. To the left of Tang-Ji was Kazami, anxiously looking down at his dish with hesitation to dine. On the right, Hoyeon was trying her best to avoid any eye contact. In front of them were Hoyeon's, Kazami's, and Tang-Ji's parents, sitting still, barely touching their food.

The night crawls closer as our last meal begins.

We were all gathered at the dinner table one last time, as our holidays end when dawn breaks. Tonight was meant to be a party to celebrate our parents' 10 years of collaboration in contributing to the gaming industry. Yet instead of the usual social butterfly, the room was silent as though everyone was muted through a video call, with the only sound being the muffled howl of the valley's wind surging as it clawed onto the side window. Tang-Ji was able to pick up on the ominous atmosphere; it was strange, yet she could not fully grasp this prickly feeling of suffocation.

I knew what would come next as the wind grew heavier.

The wind began to sharpen as it hastily crashed onto the wooden lodge's surfaces. The aura of the night began to change, closing in hastily to strangulate its victims. The youth in the atmosphere had been drained to the very bone, altering the sweet, fragrant flavour of the airspace.

Tang-Ji began to break out in a cold sweat, a pressing feeling of uneasiness creating clumps of scorching air in her lungs. She stiffly scanned the room with an anxious glance as she unconsciously met eyes with Hoyeon's father. It was at that moment that she lost all her remaining memories; it was as though I lost my soul.

Although I used to be part of Tang-Ji, now I'm just a deserted soul. In that instant, it was as though our eyes became sprinkled with crimson red, seeing a subtle smiling figure that evoked themselves in flames. It was a curse that was born from my selfish wish.

The arrival of a loud thud from the front door shocked Tang-Ji and the others, and in just one moment, the air became parching and oppressive. The dining room was drowned in a sea of fire with just one glance. After that, her memories were severed from mine.

Everyone who was in the cabin made it out, besides Kazami's parents, who were unfortunately brought down by the fiery slump. Hoyeon's dad went missing ever since that tragic night; his body was never found, but he was presumed dead.

Tang-Ji lay restlessly on the rocky path. Her whole body was frigid, with scores of fresh wounds throughout her limbs. The impact on her body was not severe enough to kill her but was enough to strip her of her identity; she looked like a photograph that had been torn to pieces.

Levitating in the air, I stared down into the red, watery mirror that reflected my dying self on the ground. Even though our bodies managed to survive the blazing hell hole, our souls became detached and split once again; it was as though she and I had become completely different entities.