Dear Old Friend

I stared at the tree across from me as I held a cup of soda in one hand and clenched the arm of the bench that I sat in with the other. Suddenly I felt my hand with the soda jerk towards my friend. "Sorry," I mumbled as I kept thinking about that night, that bark where her blood was, still looks just as dark and scared.

"That was a twitch wasn't it," my friend, Elizabeth, asked, "You're thinking about that night aren't you," she asked after a nodded

"Yes," I answered as I tore my eyes from the scarred tree

"Have you been writing those letters," I shook my head before she finished the question, "when did you stop?"

I sighed, "I've never started," I said pushing my hair back before taking a sip of the sweet soda that wasn't stopping the nerves and memories from bombarding me

"You should start," she began as I felt her put her hand on my shoulder, "it'll only help you get out of that shell especially when you come here," she paused. "It helped me, at least try it," she added as I pushed myself off the bench

I sighed as I stood looking at the tree once more, then looking at the path to the tree that was made by a vehicle. "I'll think about it," I began turning to my friend, "I'll see you later Eliza," I finished waving in her direction as I walked to the apartments across from here. 'I wish people would stop caring about me when I'm the drunk idiot who killed her best friend,' I thought as I stepped into the building and climbed down the stairs to my apartment. 'Today's the day I should do this, I can't live like this any longer,' I thought once more as I closed and locked my door before throwing away the soda and grabbed a bottle of wine and a knife before going to the bathroom to get a few more things

ELIZABETH'S P.O.V

I sighed as I watched my friend walk into the apartment, "I sincerely hope she writes those letters," a voice said behind me after she went inside the building

"Fifteen years since the accident and she still has the guilt after the fines and the jail time," I muttered to Matthew who had sat next to me where Lisa sat moments before

"My thing is she's never taken to pain very well," he began as his eyes darted to the tree that she was staring at. "Letters aren't going to solve anything and neither are we if we keep breathing down her neck checking to see if she's okay. A letter didn't solve her feelings of abuse and it most certainly didn't fix her trust."

"Yeah," I began as visions of that accident crossed my mind, "we helped her rebuild her trust couldn't we help her with her guilt?"

Matthew sighed, "I wish we could but something Nancy told me before the accident was that she felt guilty because her family was like that because she wasn't the picture-perfect girl that they wanted. I was told that some guilt needs to be fixed with time," he paused looking at the tire tracks that were poorly hidden by the grass and dirt. "Let's hope she was right," he finished then looked at me, "you wanna go somewhere?"

I sighed, shaking my head, "No, I have to finish working on something for my shift tomorrow or my boss is going to be pissed."

"You got it, coach," he said with a grin, "take care of yourself and be sure to take a break once in a while I'll do you some good."

I looked at him, "This was supposed to be a break with her," I said, "I don't even remember her twitching when she went through the therapy for her parent's abuse and neglect. This is new and we need to be by her side," I added the tears in my eyes as I remembered seeing her with Nancy pinned against the tree that she stared at

"At least give her some space as I am," he said as he put his hand on my shoulder. "She's not the only one going through loss please give her some space, you don't see me blowing up her text messages as you are."

I sighed as I looked at him, "All right," I began as I stood, "only because you said so, I'll see you later."

"See ya, Eliza," he said with a wave of his hand, "text me if you wanna hang out over the weekend."

I gave him a thumbs-up as I sipped on my soda while walking away, I sat in my car with a sigh as I put my head on the steering wheel. Visions of the accident came into my head as I closed my eyes trying to stop the tears. Even though I wasn't the one who caused the crash I was the one who discovered the crash. Nancy's body pinned against the tree as Lisa's head was resting on the steering wheel in a drunken state of sleep and unconsciousness. Nancy had looked at me with her wide eyes calling my name to try and help her as I called the police. She died right as Lisa woke up to see Nancy slumped over the hood of her car. I sighed as I started the car and began to drive off, thinking about isn't going to help anyone. I needed to move on from it just as much as Lisa does, the only guilt that I have was not being there in enough time to save Nancy but even then I couldn't save her because her bones were broken. I sighed once more as I pulled into the driveway of my apartment and parked in front of the building.

"Why does this sort of thing have to happen," I muttered to myself as I walked to my apartment and unlocked it. As soon as I opened the door my dog came jumping at my feet, "Maybe Lis should get a puppy," I said with a smile as I closed the door before sitting down next to it and petting my dog. "What do you think Alex, do you think Lisa needs a puppy," Alex barked in answer before spinning in a circle, sitting down and turning his head to the side asking if anyone else was coming. "I wish someone else came with me," I began scratching his ear as he thumped his back leg in pleasure, "anyone could've come with me and I would be fine with it."

As I finished I looked at the framed picture of Nancy in the corner of my room, before the accident she had stayed in my house and I had started falling for her. I held no anger towards Lisa because accidents were named that for a reason

People always find a way to recover

Two weeks later

"Matthew, I know what you said about giving her some time and space but she hasn't been seen or heard from in weeks. She hasn't even been online since I picked her up for lunch the last time we saw her," I said talking to my friend through the Bluetooth in the car

"Yeah but that doesn't mean you have to go to her apartment to knock down her door," he said his voice resonating throughout the car

"No, it doesn't but I want to be there," I began as I pulled into the parking lot of the park. "When the police get a call from the apartments around her saying there's a bad smell I'm going with them to check it out whipping out the friend and reporter pass all in one. I asked them to keep me updated and so they did, stop trying to keep me from checking on her and let me do what I'm doing."

Matthew sighed, "Fine," he began, "just fill me in on what you find in there that's stinking up the apartment."

"You know I will," I said with a smile as I turned the car off, "talk to you later Matt," I added before hanging up and getting out of the car walking into the apartment complex

"Here's a mask just in case ma'am," the officer said handing me a gas mask, "are you sure about this?"

"Yes, I am sir," I said as I strapped the mask on over my face, "go right ahead," I added stepping back as the battering ram made its way between us. Two hits later the door fell off its hinges and the smell came to my nose. I felt my stomach turn as other reporters weren't so puking before I even walked in with the officer. My eyes darted around the muggy room before they landed on a desk that had a photo book of broken bones, a letter, and flies hovering over the corpse that was hunched over the keyboard tray. "No," I said as I approached the area and grabbed a letter that was propped against the monitor and started to read it.

'Dear Old and Kind Friends and Family

I know how much many of you cared about me but I don't believe I deserve to live after what happened almost fifteen years ago on this day.

There is one small reason that I killed myself, it may be small to you but it was the elephant in the room whenever I looked at that park.

I felt guilty

The guilt that I felt was for killing someone that I cared about for most of my life, a girl who was trying to comfort me. That is until my alcohol ridden self decided to drive off the road and killed her.

I know how much you'll miss me; I also know and understand how hard Eliza tried to tell me that everything will be alright.

But it's not

Every year I have replayed as much as I could remember of that night, even after I had spent my time and money for the state to forgive me I cannot forgive myself. I picture her pinned to the tree by my bumper with her upper half hunched over the hood of my car. I picture her bottom half as flat as I wished the tires were when I decided to drive home from the bar.

I can't bear the guilt of it any longer.

I hope you understand my reasoning for doing this

Lisa Underwood

9/12/2032

As I finished reading the letter I sank to the floor the tears streaming down my cheeks and squeezing into the mask. People were filling in as I moved into a corner by the window to cry. "Don't touch her," I said to the man who approached the body of my friend

Someone dressed in a khaki suit came up and knelt so he could rub my back, "Miss Stevens," he began as I set the letter down and took out my phone to take notes. "What does the letter say, does it identify the body?"

I nodded as I stood up bringing up a picture of my long-dead friend, "The letter says who killed Nancy Morgans fifteen years ago. It also talks about the killer's guilt for the accident even after she paid for the ticket and went to jail for it."

"Do you know who this person is, we may not be able to identify it with forensics since the body is pretty much a skeleton at this point," someone in the crowd asked as I continued to cry looking at the picture of my friend compared to the dead decomposing body across from me

I took a deep breath as I looked at the picture book that showed Nancy's broken bone, "Yes, yes I do," I answered as the silence fell over the room

"Who is it," a woman said with a sense of urgency in her voice, I didn't care to spot her because I was looking at the scene in front of me. Two bottles, one glass while the other was plastic bearing that label of sleeping pills. A knife laid at the skeletal feet of my friend, the blood had long since dried making the blade look rusted but I had a feeling it could cut through the tension that fell over the room

I took a deep breath, taking one last look at the face that was once full of life and happiness before I turned to the crowd and answered, "This is the body of Lisa Elizabeth Underwood."

The room then fell into chaos as I was escorted out of the room, people were patting my shoulder as I was rushed out of the apartment and felt my knees crumble in front of the tree

'I miss you, dear,' I thought as I put my hand where the bumper of the car pinned Nancy's body. I stood up as I thought one last thing as I heard a car veer off the street, 'I miss you, dear old friend.'

Just then a car hit me pinning my body to the tree where my beloved friend had just died. "I'll see you soon Nancy and Lisa," I breathed as I looked at the beautiful park before my vision turned black.