Chapter 78

"Lily, are you okay?" Derek asks walking into the room. After my argument with Jackson I went to Meredith and Derek's house to spend the night. Of course, Derek didn't mind letting me stay over, especially since Meredith went with Cristina and Owen for the Harper Avery awards, which Cristina unfortunately didnt win. Since Derek was taking care of the kids by himself, he appreciated having me there, even though I'm pretty sure I haven't been of much help, since I've pretty much spent all morning crying and feeling bad for myself. I hate arguing with Jackson, but I could normally keep it together after an argument, but with these pregnancy hormones I can't even hide how upset I am.

"Yeah, I'm fine." I sniffle wiping away my tears.

"No, you're not." He sighs wrapping me in a hug as I start crying again.

"It's just we've never gotten into an argument as bad as the one last night." I cry. Obviously Jackson and I have argued before, but never to the extent that we argued last night. At this point I don't even want to go to work because I don't want to take the chance of seeing him. I know we have to communicate, but I'm scared that when we talk it'll just lead to another big argument.

"It's going to be okay. I know right now it doesn't seem like it, because things aren't how you planned for them to be, but everything is going to work out. You and Jackson are going to make up and figure everything out, but until then you need to stay calm. Stress isn't good for the baby."

"You're right." I agree wiping away my tears. I'm still overwhelmed with everything, but now that I'm pregnant I need to think about the baby and try to stay as positive as I can.

"Of course I am." He jokes making me laugh. "If you want I can take your surgeries today and you can stay here and relax.

"No, I need to go to work. It's better then sitting here feeling bad for myself. I actually need to go now, before I'm late." I say standing up.

"Okay, well I have to finish getting the kids ready, but I'll check on you as soon as I get to work." He says standing up.

"Okay." I smile grabbing my things then leaving for work.

As soon as I get to the hospital I get dressed in my scrubs before checking in on my patients and then taking one of my patients to the O.R. for surgery. The surgery only takes 3 hours and once I finish, I take her to recovery.

"Oh, I'm sorry." I say as I bump into someone while walking through the hallway checking my patients files on my iPad. I look to see who I bumped into and of course it's Jackson causing my heart to beat out of my chest. I'm honestly not ready to see him, because I'm still upset from our fight last night.

"It's fine." He says. "How are you?" He asks as an awkward silence fills the hallway.

"Good and you?" I ask.

"Fine, how'd you sleep?" He asks.

"Um, fine thanks." I say.

"Have you talked to Cristina? Is she okay? I mean I know she's upset about not winning the award."

"Yeah, but she'll be okay. She's Cristina." I shrug.

"Yeah." He agrees.

"So I need to come home tonight." I say.

"You want to talk?" He asks.

"No, I need my laptop. I have some files I need for work on there, so I need to come get it."

"Sure. Sure." He sighs.

"Are you okay. You look stressed?" I say.

"Yeah, I am. I have to compile a report for the foundation on the value of people's research projects, 'cause we're not gonna be able to keep all of them. I don't think." He says.

"Well, good luck." I say before walking away. I didn't feel like standing there making awkward conversation when we both know we have problems that we need to discuss.

"Hey, you're late." I say walking up to the front desk where Derek is standing.

"Yeah, my sister Amelia randomly popped up at the house. She's here for a visit and she wanted to keep the kids today. He says.

"No offense, but isn't she a junkie?" I ask.

"She's a recovering addict who loves kids." He laughs "Have you seen Jackson today?"

"Yes, we had a brief conversation, but not about anything important, like our argument last night." I sigh sadly.

"Hey, keep your head up. Everything is going to be fine." He assures me.

"What if it's not. You know they say every couple has that fight that makes or breaks their relationship and what if this is that fight and it breaks us." I say.

"Lily, this fight isn't going to break your relationship. After everything you and Jackson have been through this is just a bump in the road." He says.

"Okay, you're right." I sigh before my pager goes off. "I have to go." I say. It's time for me to remove a spinal tumor. I know this surgery is going to take the rest of the day since its such a complex tumor, but I don't mind since it'll help me avoid seeing Jackson again for awhile. I go to the O.R. and get scrubbed in, and I begin the surgery. It takes 7 hours and I finish it successfully, before taking the patient to recovery. I was ready to head home and grab some things from the house and hopefully leave before Jackson gets there, but Derek text me and told me there's a board meeting so I go to the boardroom to meet everyone.

"They want us to be the center of innovation, but they don't want to pay for it." Arizona frowns as we sit in our board meeting. The Harper Avery Foundation wants to cut some of the research projects at the hospital much to everyone's disapproval so we are all going back and forth discussing the situation.

"They love it when we innovate. They nominated Yang for an award." Callie says.

"She was robbed. They're boneheads." Meredith sighs.

"We can't give with one hand and take with the other. We have to stop this." Derek says. I was just sitting back and listening, because it honestly feels awkward sitting in a room with Jackson right now and also because I'm really tired and I just want to go home and get some rest.

"Guys, they own the place. We are just their managing board. This conversation is our relationship now. Best we can do is try to guide them to make the right decision. That's by making our own decision, as tough as that might be. Look, this is my report, all right? All the projects are here, operating budgets versus progress to date. Best to worst. Take a look, but the decision is pretty clear to me." Jackson says sliding us all the paper work. We all start reading over it until we're interrupted by a knock on the door.

"Uh, you got a second" .Alex asks poking his head into the room "Never mind. I'll come back."

"No, no. Alex, come in." Arizona says motioning for Alex to come inside.

"You okay?" I ask Alex as he closes the door behind him and walks into the room

"Uh, yeah. Yeah. I, uh, just wanted to let you know that, uh, my fellowship is, uh, almost done, and, uh well, I got an offer from Lebackes pediatric surgery clinic. Oliver Lebackes' practice, and, uh well, I gave it some serious consideration, and I've decided to take it. So I guess this is my notice." He says. We were obviously all shocked, but happy for him. This is a big deal and a great step for his future. After speaking to Alex a little while longer, we resumed the meeting. After we finished our discussion everyone is released from the meeting. I rush to the locker room to change out of my scrubs, then I leave to head home, so I can hopefully grab everything I need before Jackson gets home. Luckily when I get there his car isn't there yet, meaning he's not home, so go inside to grab my stuff. As I make it to the living room, I hear the door unlocking.

"Dammit." I mumble as the door opens. I was really trying to avoid having to see him tonight.

"Hey." He says hanging the keys on the hook by the door before he walks into the living room.

"Hey." I sigh.

"So you are..."

"Just grabbing some things to bring with me to Derek's."

"Right." He nods.

"Yeah, I'll see you at work tomorrow." I say as I grab my stuff and begin to walk towards the door.

"Liliana." He calls.

"Yeah." I sigh turning around to face him.

"I said a lot of things last night that I regret, that I didn't mean, and I'm sorry for saying. I'm sorry that I hurt your feelings." He apologizes.

"Yeah, I said some things I didn't mean either and I'm sorry." I apologize.

"Good. So come home. Stay. I know we're not in the best place right now, but we took vows. We love each other. We made vows to push through this sort of thing,"

"I love you too and you're right we did make a commitment, but this isn't some little minor argument that we had. It was about something major." I sigh walking back into the living room where he's standing.

"I know, but I'm your husband and your my wife. Husbands and wives have big fights like the one we had, but we sit down and talk about them, so we can work them out." He says walking over to me taking my things out of my hand and setting them on the sofa.

"I know." I sigh as he takes my hands into his.

"So, we can push through this problem."

"But maybe we can't. I mean this isn't something small. We're disagreeing about how to raise our children, Jackson. About what kind lives we want them to have." I say.

"Can we please just take a break from our hypothetical children?" He frowns.

"No, because...never mind." I sigh pulling away from him, before going to grab my things

"No, tell me what you were about to say. Talk to me Lily." He says stopping me.

"Nothing, I...I don't want to talk about it." I shake my head looking down as tears begin to slide down my face. I swear this pregnancy is making me such a cry baby.

"What's going on? You can tell me." He says gently lifting my head up so I'm looking at him.

"Jackson, I'm pregnant." I sigh.