Chapter 77

"You did the laundry?" I smirk as I walk into the room where Jackson is folding clothes.

"Yes, I did. I figured if I did something sweet, maybe you'd stop being mad at me." He smiles kissing me as I take a seat on the bed and begin putting on my shoes.

"Who says I'm mad at you?" I ask.

"Lily, ever since we had our disagreement the other day, you've barely been talking to me." He sighs. He was right. I haven't really been talking to Jackson the past week, partially because I'm still irritated with him, but mostly because I'm not ready to tell him I'm pregnant yet and I know that I'll slip up if I talk to him too much right now.

"I'm not mad." I shake my head.

"Liar." He smirks. "Oh and don't be surprised if you see a charge for like $25,000 on the credit card."

"What?" I frown looking at him.

"Yeah, you know how the other day I said I don't spend my money on hookers and private planes? Well technically I was lying." He says.

"You spent $25,000 on a airplane?"

"Yes, for Cristina's experimental heart to get here and the board is gonna reimburse me."

"Who even has credit that high?" I

"Turns out I do." He shrugged.

"The fact that you have a credit limit that high makes me a little sick." I say. I actually did feel nauseous from morning sickness, but I was trying to hide it.

"How about we go get breakfast. Food will make you forget all about my sickening credit." He says, but the thought of food made me feel even sicker, causing me to run to the bathroom and throw up. Jackson followed behind me holding my hair back until I'm finished.

"Do you still have the flu?" He asks as I stand at the sink brushing my teeth.

"Yeah, um it hasn't completely went away yet." I lie after I finish brushing my teeth

"Maybe, you should stay home and rest."

"No, I'm fine. Let's go before we're late." I say waving him off before we leave for work.

"Hey, you gave me Nova Jenkins hippocampectomy?" I say walking into Derek's office.

"Yeah, I have to take these calls on Gdansk time. I know this is the third surgery I've given you in the last couple of days. I hope you don't mind." He says as he takes notes.

"No, it's fine. I never mind taking extra surgeries." I say taking a seat at his desk.

"So have you told Jackson yet?" He asks glancing up at me.

"No, not yet?" I sigh.

"Lily, you need to tell him. He's your husband." He says.

"I know. I'm just not ready to tell him yet, not until we work out our differences."

"Well I'm not going to push you, but you're going to have to tell him sooner or later."

"I know." I sight. "I really don't want to keep talking about it. You're my best friend, you need to take my mind off of this situation." I huff.

"Okay, we can change the subject for now. I was wondering if you could teach my lecture today. I know you're already busy with all of these surgeries I gave you but this project..."

"Derek, you don't have to explain. I know this project is taking up a lot of your time. You're juggling a lot right now and you need my help,which is what I'm here for. Yes, I will teach your lecture." I agree.

"You're the best." He smiles.

"I know." I smirk before I have to leave for surgery. I get the patient prepped before taking him to the O.R. and operating. I successfully perform the surgery and as soon as I finish I have to lecture the interns. I actually enjoy teaching the interns even though they all get on my nerves. I know how important it is for them to be taught properly. They are the future of medicine and they need to be guided and molded.

After I finished lecturing them, I leave for my last surgery of the day. Luckily it doesn't take to long, because I'm exhausted. The extra work load I've taken on since Derek has been working with the White House is one reason for my exhaustion, but this pregnancy is draining my energy too. If I'm already this exhausted at this stage I don't know how I'll feel as it progresses. Once I finish surgery I meet Jackson in the locker room to change then we head home.

"I had this patient today, who's deaf. She's only like 5 and she's a perfect candidate for a shunt that could possibly give her the chance to hear, but her parents won't agree to it. I don't understand how as parents, you don't want your child to be able to hear." He says as we sit at the table eating dinner. "What you don't agree?" He asks when I don't say anything.

"I'm not saying that I don't agree. It's just they're the patient's parents. I'm sure that they have her best interest in mind, maybe there's more to it." I say as I take a sip of my water.

"Well, if that was our kid she'd be fitted for a shunt three years ago."

"Really?" I frown.

"Yeah." He nods chewing on his food.

"Just like that. I mean there's not even a guarantee that the surgery would work and there's risk to it that you have to think about and what if I don't agree with your decision? It would be our child, not just yours. It takes both of us to make that choice." I sigh.

"Would you feel differently about the surgery if it was our child?" He asks.

"I don't know Jackson. Like I said, the surgery doesn't guarantee that she would be able to hear afterwards and I don't know if I'd let a child go through a surgery without guaranteed results." I shrug.

"So you would rather let our child just be deaf for the rest of their life?" He frowns.

"Don't say it like its that simple." I argue.

"It is that simple." He says raising his voice.

"Here we go again." I sigh.

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"Whenever we talk about the topic of children, you always act like you're opinion is the only right choice, the only option, like it wouldn't be my child to make decisions for too!" I yell.

"Because discussions like this show that I would make better decisions for our children then you would." He yells.

"No, just because I disagree with you doesn't mean my decisions are wrong, but you're so freaking close minded that you can't see that. This is what happens when you grow up spoiled!" I shout standing up from the dinner table.

"Okay, so you're just going to walk away after saying something like that?"

"Yes, because my husband is an ass." I yell walking into the room and slamming the door, but of course he follows me.

"Jackson, leave me alone." I say as I take off my earrings and put them in my jewelry box.

"No, you always do this. Whenever we have a disagreement, you always walk away when you don't want to hear the truth." He argues.

"The truth? I hate to break it to you, but just because you feel that something is right, doesn't make it the truth. You're so damn entitled. You think just because you're an Avery you know everything and that your way is the only way, but I'm one half of this marriage and my feelings, my opinions are just as important as yours!" I yell walking over to him.

"Well at least I'm not selfish!"

"Selfish! Please tell me how I'm selfish!" I frown.

"Because you're saying if we had a child and he or she couldn't hear you wouldn't be willing to let them have a surgery that could give them a chance to hear because of the risk, but you take risk like its nothing if it's something you want to do, even when I ask you not to." He says.

"I have never just taken a risk without thinking about how it would affect those around me." I roll my eyes.

"Really, because I recall you making the decision to donate part of your liver to your father not to long ago even when I asked you not to."

"You know what? That is a choice I made, because I felt it was right and I don't have to defend that to you." I frown.

"Of course you don't, because like I said it's only about what you think is right. The definition of selfish!" He yells.

"I can't believe you would have the nerve to call me selfish because I decided to save a life. Selfish is wanting to send your child to a freaking boarding school or wanting them to follow some stupid legacy that might not even be important to them." I snap back at him.

"I'm not arguing with you over that again. I'm done with this discussion, I'm going to bed." He frowns walking to the bathroom to brush his teeth, until I walk over to the door blocking him from going in.

"No, you don't get to do that. You can't just dismiss what I'm saying." I frown.

"Liliana, just let me by. I'm done." He sighs in frustration.

"No, that isn't how this is going to work. You wanted to talk, so we're going to talk about this. We're going to talk about why you act like you're going to be the final decision maker for our children, like I have no say." I huffed.

"Because you don't think rationally. You live in this world where people adjust to what you want and what you need, but you don't try to adjust to other people's wants and needs and that's not how life works. Everyone doesn't live in your bubble."

"That is not true. I've did plenty of adjusting to make you happy, like going to stupid gala's and brunches that I didn't even want to attend, but I went to them for you!" I yell.

"We both know I'm not talking about some stupid events. I'm talking about actual life decisions, that you always make the final decisions on, because you're selfish, like I said." He frowns.

"If I'm so selfish and horrible you shouldn't have even married me." I say before walking away from him

"Liliana, where are you going?" He asks following behind me.

"Anywhere that isn't near you!" I yell grabbing my purse and my keys.

"So you're just going to leave now?"

"Yes, I am, because I can't stand to spend the night in this home with you." I say before leaving the house. At this point I couldn't even stand to be in the same home as Jackson. The fact that we're arguing like this already makes me wonder what it's going to be like when he finds out I'm pregnant and we're actually parents.