Chapter 17

"Are you sure you're ready to start back working today?" Jackson asks.

"For the thousandth time yes. It's not that big of a deal. Alex and Derek returned like 2 weeks ago." I replied chewing on a piece of toast. Jackson has been following me around all morning asking me if I was sure I'm ready to return to work since today is my first day back. I know he's just worried about me, but the constant hovering is really irritating me. I feel like we're both on edge since we've been around each other pretty much 24/7 since the shooting because he insisted I move in with him while I recovered because he didn't want to let me out of his sight.

"If you're done checking on me can we go to work now?" I ask.

"Sure." He mumbles heading to the car.

We made it to the hospital and it felt so different being there. This was my first time back since the shooting. A part of me felt sick thinking about everything that had happened last time I was here.

"Hey, you okay?" Jackson asked seeing me frozen in front of the entrance of the hospital.

"Yeah." " I lie.

We walk in and show our ID's to the security at the front door before going to the locker room.

"I can tell, you're not really okay." Jackson says.

"Jackson please don't start." I sigh.

"Why are you acting like this?" He frowns.

"Like what?"

"Shutting me out and not letting me help you."

"Because I don't need help, I need for you to stop babying me." I say.

"I'm not trying to baby you.?I'm trying to make sure you're okay. Since the shooting happened you barely talk to me. I'm trying to be there for you." He sighs.

"Well I'm fine. Now I need to go find Derek and get to work." I say before walking away. Derek quit his job as Chief as soon as he returned to work and was back to being the head of neuro, so I was going to be on his service all the time like before which I'm really happy about. I go meet Derek in the CT room to look at some scans he has hanging up.

"Welcome back." Derek smiles as I walk in.

"Thanks, I'm glad to be back.  I was about to go crazy being stuck in the apartment all day." I sigh.

"I'm glad to have you back. All of the other residents I had on my service were clueless." He says making me laugh,

"Were they really clueless or were they just not up to par with the high standards of Derek Shepherd." I joke.

"Hahaha funny." He says sarcastically.

"I know." I smile.

"So how have you been since everything happened?" He asks.

"I really don't want to talk about anything having to do with the shooting right now. It's already hard enough being back." I sigh.

"I understand where you're coming from." He nods before our pagers go off. He had to go the conference room and the residents needed to meet in our locker room.

"What's this about?" I ask Jackson sitting down beside him.

"Chief has some big project for us." He shrugs. I guess he's upset about my attitude this morning, so I just turn around to talk to Meredith until Chief comes in and starts handing out navy blue scrubs.

"Why are you giving us navy blue scrubs?" I frown.

"Attending scrubs." He corrects me. "The training wheels are coming off people, you are attendings today. Run the cases, take point but don't be a fool. If you get in over your head cry uncle, until then you've been promoted." He says.

Jackson and I are both with Derek so we meet him in our patients room.

We look at the patients chart before Jackson starts asking her about her headaches and ringing of the ear. She tells us it's been constant so I explain to her what we'll be doing to make her symptoms stop.

"Your symptoms are being caused by a build up of fluid in your skull so what we'll do is insert a shunt and that will relieve the pressure on your brain." I explain.

"What do you mean we. You're actually operating, not them?" Her wife asks Derek.

"Excuse her, she's a school teacher. She talks to everyone like they're a student." His patient says.

"No, it's alright she can ask questions. Dr. Garcia and Dr. Avery are very talented residents. One of them will be performing the procedure and I will be observing."

"A trainee is cutting into Ellie's brain, no." Her wife shakes her head.

"I know it sounds like a leap, but these doctors study and assist for years. At some point we have to let them operate, that's how we get new surgeons." Derek says.

"Let them learn on someone else." Her wife says.

'Who? Someone who's to scared to interrogate the doctors. They have to learn on someone,  it might as well be an old lady." Ellie says.

"You're my old lady, this should be my call." Her wife replies.

"I won't let them move a muscle without my direction and approval." Derek assures them.

"You're a teacher Joanne. Let the kids learn." Ellie says getting Joanne to agree. We walk out of the room to follow Derek after that.

"Who gets to cut?" I ask.

"I need to see both of you with a drill before I decide. Skills lab is the way to go." He says before walking off.

"Competing with Shepherds golden resident, like that's not a stacked deck." Jackson says.

"Oh please, Derek is going to be fair. When I get this surgery it's going to be because I'm precise and earned it, plus I do have way more neuro experience than you." I smirk.

"Well we'll see won't we." Jackson says.

We walk to the skills lab where Derek has a drill and eggs set out. We have to drill our initials into the eggs without breaking the membrane, whoever does it successfully or does the best and neatest job wins. We sit down and get started. I can tell Jackson is messing up because he keeps throwing eggs into the garbage.

"You having trouble over there?" I smirk while working on my initials. Any other time I would be rooting for him, but I really wanted this surgery plus neuro was my area anyways.

"Dammit, you broke my concentration." He mumbles throwing the egg in the garbage,

"Sorry pretty boy." I say.

"This is a good way to start your first day back isn't it." He says starting on another egg.

"Yea, it feels good to be back. I hated sitting at the apartment while everyone else was back at work." I say.

"I'm happy to see you back at work, but do you think you should operate today?"

"Don't try to psych me out Avery. I know what I'm capable of." I reply