Twisted oceans

My body is still glistening with sweat, my breath still shallow from from the deed I'd just been engaged in not more than 5minutes ago. All I remember is that the guy was tall, broad shouldered, long blonde hair and a tattoo of some beast that stretched from his right shoulder to his lower back and grey eyes that captivated me for just a brief moment. He was good looking, that I can't deny him. Moreover he was good at what he'd come here for, I kinda enjoyed it. He was also quick which was a relief. All this detail makes it all seem like I was interested, oow well, I'm just detail oriented. The whole deed is the last thing I want to reminiscent about, I was actually relieved by his last groan as he rolled over, looked for his clothes, got dressed real fast, as if he was feeling guilty, maybe he was, I care the least to even engage in a pretense conversation as he is speed dressing. It takes him less than 3minutes to finish getting dressed and find his way to the door of my studio apartment.

The reason why I'm still sprawled on my bed and not in the shower as per my usual practice after providing services is because of this thought which sometimes is a vision and other times a dream. It's all so confusing. I'm trying to remember everything but everytime I do it willingly it comes back in just blurry bits. It's no better now. I give up trying and roll out of bed.

My body reminds me of what I'd just done. It's sore everywhere possible, but that guy, whose name I didn't bother to ask, was gentle in his going, maybe it's just protesting to all the things I'm making it go through.

I force myself to the shower, which is just a glass cubicle crafted into a corner. It's so tiny it can barely fit two but it's neat. I squeeze out my apple scented body which comes out in a gush, pressed it too hard. I've been getting distracted alot lately, life. I gently rub it on so as to not inflict more pain on the sore areas but also firmly to get rid of the blonde's scent. I go on to wash my hair with a like scented shampoo. I just love apples. As soon as I'm done with my hair I step out stark naked, it's just me anyway. I don't remember the last time I saw my family's faces. Anyway I don't want to worsen my already spoilt mood by thinking about them. I blow dry my hair, pull it into a tight high ponytail and as I go on to do my edges, it hits me.

Ocean blue eyes, auburn hair, silky pale skin, sirens, blinking red lights, screams. It abruptly comes to a stop as if someone had pulled off my VR cap. When it ends, my forehead is beaded with sweat and I'm out of sorts. It leaves me like that everytime.

I take a few deep breaths to recollect myself then continue getting dressed. I'm already running late but I still spread my bed, change my bed sheets and covers. I arrange my pink, peach and purple teddy bears over the continental pillows. I know the colors don't really match but each one of them carries a story I'm not ready to let go of yet. I've had the pink one since as far back as I can remember. I'm a clean freak, that's why I spread my bed despite being late. Another reason is how I hate having scents of strangers hanging in my room. I have too many rules, some of which are very silly they aren't even worth keeping but I do it anyway. I throw on a floral over the knee length dress, grab my drop bag, slip into my sandals, check my make-up, which I like to keep close to the natural shades, one last time before making a last over look on my house and heading out.

As I step out, I'm welcomed by the blazing hot October sun. I pull out my sun glasses and open my dial- a -cab App.Five minutes later, I gracefully step into the cab. I like the me I become when I'm outside. I live the life I wish I had, I could have had. As soon as I'm buckled up, I pull out my diary and tell the chauffeur my destination. I still use the pen and paper instead of entering on my iPad. I just prefer the feel of paper on my hands. It's a 20minute drive to the sky mall where I'm working as a part-timer. So I decide to use it to work on my English literature assignment. I love reading and my imagination is out of this world, that's why I'm studying lit. I'm done with it 10minutes into my drive. I look out the window and watch the city buildings whiz past, lost in my thoughts. At 19, I already live alone, juggle three jobs, one of which I'm not too proud of and school. It's alot for an average person but I'm managing just fine. I'm snapped out of my thoughts by a rap on my window, from the cab driver letting me know that I'd reached my destination. I'm lucky I'm his loyal customer, otherwise I would have passed it. I grab my drop bag and head for the double glass doors to the sky mall.

I'm welcomed by the cool breeze from the AC which is a welcome relief considering the heat outside. I head to the gift booth on the second floor where I'll be stuck for the next three hours. I always earn glances and lingering looks from both gender. I don't understand the reason for it though. It's obviously envy from the ladies, because I'm sure I've spotted sneers, but why envy someone like me. If only they knew everything beyond what meets the eye.

I grab my apron as I step around the counter. "Hello sweetie", I greet my workmate, Susan who happens to be the closest person to me. I can't call her my friend yet though. "Hey cutie", she replies giving me a side hug. "How was the one you had last night, or was it two", she teases me with a full grin on. "Hey, you know not to ask me such, you know I don't really look at them or try to feel anything", I reply her going to the left row of shelves to arrange the assorted wrapped gifts. "Was any of them good-looking atleast", she says while cocking her perfectly lined eyebrows up and down. I side-step her to go and work on the other side without replying her and just roll my eyes. I change the topic instead," I haven't eaten a thing yet today and I'm starving", I know she's very sensitive to my needs. It's one of the best things about her. "Starving", she says, with a feigned pained look on her face. " No one is allowed to starve in this country of ours", she says with a giggle, " I'll go get you a soda and doughnuts, we can order Chinese food later". I take a seat on a low mukwa stool we snuck into the shop, well, we had to,we aren't allowed to seat during work hours. I sit there staring after Susan as she swings he braided hair from side to side with the energy of a small child who hasn't had a single failed dream yet and the confidence of someone who comes from a functional family. I wish I had her kind of everything. I know everyone who has seen me wouldn't understand what I'm saying because I carry myself around with an air of royalty and a touch of arrogance but it's all a facade. I wish it was the real me. I wish the confidence I portrayed came from a deep fountain within but alas it's just a wish. I'm whipped out from my wish world by Susan's voice and someone else's I didn't recognize. "Hey girlfriend", Susan says, with her cocky smile on, the one she reserves for her mischievous games only. She hands me a Baker'sCafé food bag which I immediately open to avoid talking to her visitor, good thing we don't have the boss around today. "Cinnamon twists", I scream with an unmuffled excitement, I grab one and take a bite. I lift my head with my mouth full, and I meet emerald green eyes staring down at me with a sparkle of amusement in them. I'm sure I'm beet red, so I immediately avert my gaze and hide my blush. I chew the mouthful of my favorite doughnut, grab a napkin and wipe my lips then throw Susan an accusing glance. She should have given me a heads up that our 'visitor' was still around and that too staring right at me. Susan let's out a giggle and says," Haz meet Two".