MY BROTHER'S LOVE STORY

NAMES are changed* *Dates are kept as it is*

THE FIRST MEETING (7th Jan 2015)

So, I used to be this cheerful, happy guy who is always up to something or the other in Christina Maam's tuition classes. We never went there to study but just to have fun. That tuition was one of a kind. I was 15 and in 8th standard (started my schooling later than others)in an all-boys school, it was our English tuition (the subject no one takes seriously) and this is the only place where I met people from the opposite gender, yeah there were some females in other tuition s but the freedom and fun we had here was just unmatched.

Now, this fine Wednesday I entered the classroom and as usual, I was happy and shouting(not so loud) everyone in the room was having fun and we were talking then I see this new girl with a yellow sweater sitting a few feet away but then without paying much heed to her I continue talking to my friends. It was a batch of just 7-8 students of the locality so not all the students were of the same standard. At some point that day Maam Christina told me hey Abhinav don't you know her she's a neighbor of yours. I shook my head and denied knowing anything about this girl. After our classes were over she was walking back to her home when I just called her and asked can we go together as our houses were just 100 meters apart on the same street. She agreed and we started walking, her name was Priya, and she was in the 9th standard aged 15(yup same as mine) in an all-girls school. It wasn't love at first sight I didn't like her much she was ordinary to me.

*She was super cute actually and one of the most beautiful girls I had ever seen(this is my opinion now) but at that point, she seemed nothing special to me.*

While walking back I learned that our fathers know each other and they were friends. But irony we never saw each other before.

THE IN-BETWEENS

We always used to walk together to our respective places after every class twice a week, and that was the time we used to talk a bit. This way days passed by then weeks and then months I was starting to like her by now. Then one day while walking back she told me that Tanaya from our class likes me, I didn't know what to answer when the girl you like is trying to be a matchmaker for you. I behaved rudely, and just told her why the hell are you telling me this you don't need to try to be a matchmaker between me and Tanaya (I told her something else too, she was hurt by my behavior ), anyways then we reached our respective places and I forgot about all these. The next day I came to know from Tanaya that Priya was hurt and that I should apologize for being such a dick the previous day and that she was just trying to help Tanaya. I didn't say a word then, I was embarrassed as Tanya shouted all these in front of everyone(there was a teacher then). But more than that I felt bad about my behavior and I felt so shitty for hurting my new crush. But things were sorted soon after I said sorry to her.

It was in December 2015 that I didn't attend a few classes, then one day when I was just standing on the lawn in front of my house, I saw her going somewhere through she then told me that Maam is planning to take all the students to some picnic and I didn't know any of this as I was absent for a few days, the next day I gave her my number written on some small piece of paper and told her to give any further information if there's any.

LOVE LOVE LOVE! (9th Jan 2016)

After exchanging numbers she texted me and we started talking after some time we started talking about a lot of things and It just went on and on. I don't know why she liked talking to me but yeah I knew that she was enjoying it. But I could never tell her about my feelings, I just didn't have the balls to say anything about it.

Fast Forward (9th Jan 2016)- We were bored and decided to play something(It was her idea) so I thought this is an opportunity to tell her so I suggested playing a rapid-fire quiz where anyone ask anything. She was excited and wanted to ask me first, which I already knew would happen, so I just agreed. Then she started with the usual favorite color, food, etc, then she asked me the set of questions I was waiting for -

She - Do you have a girlfriend?

Me- NO

She - Do you love someone?

Me - Yes. (eagerly waiting for the next question)

She - Whose she? Come on you said you will answer everything.

Me - You.

She - What I didn't get it what's her name.

Me- I love you P...… (i wrote her full name)

As I said these lines I was shivering, my heart was beating faster than ever and the table I was sitting on started shaking too.

Then after talking a bit she expressed her feelings too that she started liking me a few months ago.

So we decided to start a new relationship together. We both were 16 then and it was our first relationship for both of us.

GOOD TIMES, BAD TIMES

The relationship was going amazing we had a lot of fun, both of us fully loyal, and committed, we used to trust each we used to go out to discover unknown places or streets in the city, and we also had our fair share of fights, arguments, sometimes temporary breakups,,,, etc etc etc, but it was fun it was going well for almost 2 years. Then her best friend also became a very good friend of mine and she still is. So, let's call her Rhea.

But, there happened a problem, which if I look back now wasn't a big problem if we had communicated properly, rather I had communicated properly or at least expressed my feelings properly. Anyways, coming to the problem it was just that there was this boy(Gaurav) who started liking Priya a lot, he was mad after her, he proposed to her which she denied and told him that she was already in a relationship but she agreed to be friends with him. Now this is when a lot of things started playing in my mind, she told me everything but it's just that they were getting closer as friends,,,, and even if she told me almost everything(which I think she did). Now, this guy still liked her and he used to follow her to her house or her tuition or anything (which I don't know), but the problem was that she never told him to stop or even if she did I am sure not with that conviction. She told me that she did tell him but he wouldn't listen. But the questions that were going in their head were that if he comes to your house and tells you to come out to your balcony so that he could see her why did she comply with him? How could you invite a person who was trying to come between your relationship, to your house for Diwali? And, Mainly why would you agree to be friends with a person like this? These are just a few questions out of many (which I just can't remember now). So, these were the things,,,, and even if she told me everything but still,,,, sometimes I felt something was just not right.

IT'S OVER!

But that's the thing that I should have told her how I felt and all were going through my mind but I never did because I thought that it won't be right to tell her that I have a problem and try to be possessive and (there are some more just keep on reading), but I think that was a big mistake and I should have told her. Anyways so these questions kept revolving around my mind and after some time I was just not able to take it anymore and one random I thought we should break up, so I just took out my phone and texted her that we should break up and I m leaving and after a few seconds I said BYE and blocked her. I didn't tell her anything about the reason for which I was leaving. This was unexpected for her as well as me. Now, you'll think why I didn't tell her at the end or why I texted her instead of meeting her or at least calling her up. So, it's because I knew that won't be able to break up with her while she is sitting in front of me I won't be able to speak up about something like this and I didn't tell her any reason because If I had told her what was going on she would have convinced me that nothing was like that and I was just over thinking and all, but so much was going through my mind at that time, that I just wanted to fucking free my mind of all these I was just not able to take these, I hadn't spoken about for so long that these were eating me up. These things happened around OCT- NOV of 2017. The relationship was over after a year and ten months.

A NEW CHAPTER

Gaurav was happy that we broke up and spotted an opportunity here. This guy tried to come closer to her, he supported her during this phase and he did a great job here. He proposed to her again this time when she was healing from the breakup. This time she accepted, some friends also most probably helped(rather influenced) her to take this decision. So, here starts Priya's rebound relationship.

(If you are thinking how did I come to about these after cutting off with her, just read on .)

On, the other side for the first month or so I was fine then slowly I started missing her, I started regretting my decision, I started thinking that why didn't I tell her everything, Why did I just leave, now these were the things going on in my mind.

Now, I did meet other people I started liking someone but it was just liking and I knew that this would never turn into anything so I didn't pursue it. Then there was someone called Nisha, whom I met and, long story short this girl proposed to me and I accepted. YES, I accepted…. but but but…. listen after a week or so I just told her that I am sorry I shouldn't have accepted this thing and I thought that we could just have a casual relationship but now I wanted to leave and just told her that I was not over my ex and I didn't want to drag this girl in a relationship where I won't be able to give my hundred percent. Thankfully she understood.

I GO BACK TO YOU

Fast Forward - MAY 2018

As I mentioned earlier Rhea (Priya's best friend) was still a good friend and she liked me more than Priya's new BF Gaurav and wanted us to be together. This, time Rhea turns to a matchmaker.

Priya was in a relationship with Gaurav, but it was a rebound right? So, one day Priya was talking to Rhea and Priya told her that she still misses me and she truly loved me,,,, etc,,,, etc. Rhea sent me the screenshot of this and I already missed her so I thought of trying to come back so after gathering some courage I texted her in July and told her my reasons for leaving and told her that let's mend this relationship and start again, after much talking for a few months we agreed to fix things and come back together again.

She had broken up with Gaurav not only because of this but because that relationship was anyway not working.

We were hanging out together again we started telling each other everything again we were starting to live like a couple again but still not in a relationship, still,,,, it was fine for some time. But actually,,,, her trust in me was gone after I left her but still she tried, and we still thought that we could mend things again.

It was almost a year now May 2019 but we were still hanging in there, she didn't have an answer and I desperately wanted to be wanted her and she still wasn't ready and she just couldn't trust me again. I was feeling frustrated waiting for an answer, almost a year had passed by so I just didn't know what I was doing wrong or what should I do now, I was trying everything I tried to gain her love by sympathy because I was just blank what to do or what not she just was not interested, I used to sometimes fake a cry(I can do that, I just used to look in a different direction from her face and then think about something that has hurt me in the past or something that can happen in the future which might make me cry then force my tears out then she used to caress me and I would love that, I was acting so stupid, but she thought it was for real),,,, etc etc. After some time she told me that she was just not having any feelings no matter how much she tried. I knew all these but I still was giving my 200 % effort and was just hoping that things will work out anyhow. I learned that we need to always be ourselves and not try to show something different that we are not. But of course,,,, in a situation like that,,,, you don't think rationally.

It was then I started noticing changes in her behavior or the way she spoke or ....I just am not able to explain it in words now, I asked her if everything was alright, and she would say yes and it was not that I asked her once it was a lot many times because I could just feel that something was not right and how much she wanted to hide it, but I knew her for a long time and when something's not right with such a closed person you just could make outright. So, after asking so many times I asked Rhea that is everything alright with Priya, then Rhea told me that recently this new guy has just started liking her and they are hanging out together quite often nowadays with some mutual friends of theirs. So, Rhea told me because she was my friend too and just see me still trying when Priya started hiding things. I didn't tell Priya anything till a very later date.

Priya told me after some time that we need to end everything between us as she was just not having any feelings for me anymore. We parted ways.

After, a few months when we just happen to meet once I told her that Rhea had told me then about this new guy, she was hanging out with,,,, etc. She then told me that we weren't in a relationship we were just trying to mend things and she anyway had made up her mind of leaving so she just didn't feel like telling me.

But, I just felt that although we weren't in any kind of relationship still she should have told me because whatever it is we came to fix things we promised to tell everything and stay loyal even if weren't in any relationship and I did so but she thought differently anyways that's it. THAT'S THE STORY OF MY FIRST LOVE.

Fast Forward - 2020

And now if you ask me if I still love her?

My answer will be Yes, I do and will always do. It's just impossible to unlove someone you loved so much. I have learned to live with that pain. Honestly,,,, you just can't make it disappear completely. I just have learned to accept that my feeling for her is true and real.

But, I have moved on by embracing the truth and I wish that she is always happy with whosoever she is and whatever she might be doing. But, yeah some part of me still wants to believe that someday we bump into each other and I GO BACK TO YOU.❤️❤️.