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Transcendence

Autor: Lea17
Fantasy
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What is Transcendence

Lee la novela Transcendence escrita por el autor Lea17 publicada en WebNovel. Nova Wisconson was the daughter of a rich couple, and was the only child of said couple. But, disaster struck. Her best friend betrayed her for some man, so her company sunk and she was murdered in co...

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Nova Wisconson was the daughter of a rich couple, and was the only child of said couple. But, disaster struck. Her best friend betrayed her for some man, so her company sunk and she was murdered in cold blood. Now, bound to a cheery system, her goal is to finish off 10 worlds so she can go back to her own. Of course, no one said that having a lover who would follow you was easy, especially for her.

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Creed: World Strongest

Patria has conquered the land of monsters, now call The Territories. In search of greener pastures, most commoner are migrating to The Territories. Among them are a man and his pregnant wife. Though they travel together, they search for different things. She search for freedom to raise her unborn baby, whiles her husband is in search of adventure. He has the dream of being the strongest in the world. Now he feels he is closer to achieving his dream, with monster as his sparring partners. A year, after vigorous training he joined the Rainbow Underdog Trials (RUT). A tournament for upcoming martial artist to show their talents. The winner will have the chance to compete in the Supreme Being. The most prestigious martial art tournament there is. One stormy night their baby decided it was time. Five years after his birth, he dad took him to his first tournament. The apple not falling far from the tree he was knocked out in the third round. Years later, the end of father’s loosing streak came unexpectedly. He got to the semifinals of the RUT. As he cheered for his dad from the crowd, he saw a waterboy spike the water. He tried to warn his dad but the noise drowned everything he said. The guards held the line preventing anyone from getting too close. His dad drunk the water but won the first round. He then wondered if he was worried over nothing. Later he was his dad started staggering. He then noticed a tattoo of a stone arrow head on his opponent’s arm. He then remembered where he had seen it before. “The waterboy, how did he get into the tournament?” After the match, he told his dad everything. “Why aren’t you angry, that guy cheated. You should be in the final right now.” “Boy, the moment you start to make excuses, you stop succeeding. You brain will subconsciously, find reasons to ease your pain. You have to be strong that people will need to cheat to even the playing field. I’m honoured he thought he needed to cheat to defeat me.” His dad said with a smile on his face. This made him really mad he stormed out of the house. He climbed up the mountain and stayed there for a while. When he got back home, the whole place was dark. Suddenly, a light appeared in his parents room. A women in a purple zebra striped full bodysuit looked around. In her hand was his father gray blade. “Hey, drop it.” He chased her and when he got back to the hall, he saw bloody shoe prints. He ignored her and followed the blood trail. In the kitchen he saw a man in an all black ninja armour. On the ground was his mother, he charged towards him. He clenched his fist, and created a shock around it. When he was close enough, he swung the shock wave punch at the man. The man grabbed his hand by the wrist and flipped him over. The man ran away and he got up and started crying. After awhile a group of men came to drug him out. As the house burnt, as he was being taken away. He saw someone burning in the fire, he recognised the outfit, it was what his dad was wearing. As he stood outside watching the house burn, he blamed one person. The waterboy who spiked his father’s water.

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Leo_Hex
Leo_HexLv14Leo_Hex

Real Score: 2/5 (Well, there's a plot twist for ya! Ey, Webnovel? [But don't think this changes things. I still want a better scoring system!]) Title: A good Concept that Substitutes Passion for the Necessary Slow-Burn. Yes author, I think you're original concept is really cool, and could make this story one of the greatest revenge plots of all time, if done correctly! But first We gotta talk about the slow-burn storytelling that's necessary for classic intrigue plots. Don't worry I'll walk you through it. Revenge plots are Intriguing plots, unless the protagonist is just going on a very obvious blood fueled rampage. And I love the classics, but this isn't presented as a fight to the death, more like a duel between masters, under subtext and subterfuge. And Subterfuge needs time to unfold and entwine the characters with the facts, the "truth" on how everyone acts on those facts, and the rules beneath the rules. Again, Slow-Burn. Give the characters, and thus, the audience, new information, slowly. Have them learn something they shouldn't have and watch them struggle with the risks and rewards of revealing the secret. Have them make a taboo, early before they know the rules and watch them claw their way out of that pit(-trap). (<-- psst* That's a good way to introduce a side antagonist.) The story is good, just by going straightforward and having a mastermind slowly put together their plot, you can keep the audience engaged. Just slow down, because life isn't a race, and that speed is better used in the finale as everyone and everything comes together in a giant storm. Now for the Good news, Your concept is brilliant! I won't lie it will shake the world if you do this right. So here it is. The best part of your concept is threefold. One (1) it allows your protagonist to fail and show both their weaknesses, and that they can grow and improve. Two (2) by having the system, be a both a tool and teacher figure, the lead can explain the process of their deductions to someone, without fear of betrayal. Think a Watson to ask your Holmes the questions. It will also make your Protagonists feel smarter by not doing the classic "All according to plan!" bit. Three (3) having the protagonist world skip through their trials can be both a great exercise on worldbuilding and philosophical collision. Your leading lady can go through worlds using what they have in the past in both skill and magic system mastery (if you want to go the fantasy route, plus you already have rencarnation, so.) Thus is an opportunity to really go wild and weird with this stuff. See how they use the advantages and disadvantages of the setting to their plan. And see how that process works in a completely new setting. Have your protagonist level up their skills and make them change the methods from world to world. And my biggest piece of advice for this is to let the system teach them the magic system and worldbuilding, don't let it be the source of it. Teach, rather than Bestow. Then whether you decide if a magic system can cross worlds or only the fuel source or the way it changes the Main Character, will follow. The possibility are endless. You can even go full high speed revenge by letting one world be a battle crazy blood bath. Let the MC process straight up murder. But remember, for the Intruege plot portions, "Go Slow." That's all. Good Luck!

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