The Meeting of the One I Call... Shithead.

Ok, let me get my thoughts straight here.

I died.

By truck-sama.

OMG, THAT IS SO CLICHE!!!!! *rolling around in embarrassment*

Wait, how can I move?

I open my eyes and see white surrounding my on all sides, and a single person standing there looking at me.

Crap, did he see me?

Judging from the disdain in his eyes, he definitely saw that despicable scene.

SO EMBARRASSING!!!!!

*clap clap*

The guy clapped to get my attention, and now instead of simple disdain, the look in his eyes is now one of intense dislike. At this point he started to speak.

"Thanks for dying, I've been needing a scapegoat for all the heroes that have been dying lately. I've never liked you from the moment I first saw you, especially after that… Oh, by the way, let me introduce myself: I'm the God of Light in the world you are being reincarnated into."

I am stunned, and trying to process what is going on… Light God? This guy seems like just a little kid with a lot of power though… Even the way he speaks is childlike…

"Lately, the heroes have been dying way to easily, so I'll have you die in their place so they can 'miraculously survive.' Don't ask how this is accomplished, just know that you are providing a needed service to me as compensation for reincarnating you. The heroes will continue their journey to beat darkness and evil, instead of dying, because you will die for them, as many times as needed."

I am starting to understand, I am not going to be a hero… I am not going to get a powerful skill, and I am not going to be able to create that most wondrous of events, the one that many light novels talk about… The glorious harem… The OP-ness… The MONEY!!! Lost in my despair, I didn't even object before he said:

"Because I am so extremely kind, I'll give you one skill."

A SKILL!!!!!!! MY DREAMS CAN COME TRUE!!!!!!

"But it will depend on your luck what you get, this is because of my extreme generosity, so be sure to thank me properly by worshiping me faithfully! I promise you won't die repeatedly in vain. Instead of 'in vain', die for all the heroes in their place, m'kay? Bye~!"

Wait, what?

I started to finally process the full import of what he was saying…

Wa-wa-wa-wa-wait, what's going on?! I'm going to die again?!! More than once?! Just because this guy needs a scapegoat?!!!!!! Sure I get a skill, but that's not worth dying repeatedly!!!!!!! Generosity my ass!!!!!!!!!!!!

Then, just as I am about to complain, there is a sensation of being pulled from below, and it distracts me just long enough for this guy to say one last thing…

"Oh, I forgot to tell you one last thing. Since I don't like you, I've put a curse on you so that your life will be even more miserable for my entertainment, you could think of this as my payment for giving you a new life, and a free skill. I mean, even I need entertainment, right? Make sure to die in humorous ways or the curse will get worse~! M'kay? Ta-ta~!"

What? What?! WHAT?! I DEMAND A DIFFERENT GOD!!!! ISN'T THERE A MANAGER I CAN TALK TO?!!!!!!! SINCE WHEN WAS THIS OK?!!!!!!!! I'M NOT JUST ENTERTAINMENT YOU KNOW!!!!!!!!!

The pulling sensation gets stronger all of a sudden, and then I'm gone from the world of white, and (thankfully) from the one who I will now refer to as "Shithead" at least in my mind.

I SWEAR THAT I WILL GET REVENGE ON YOU!!!!!!!!!!! JUST YOU WAIT!!!!!!!!!!! I REFUSE TO BE YOUR ENTERTAINMENT!!!!!!!!! I'M SUPPOSED TO BE A HERO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

As I continue falling, I suddenly pass through something white, and slightly damp. As I am wondering just what the heck is going on, I fall through the whiteness. As I look up at it, I suddenly realize it's a cloud.

Wait, a cloud? Then doesn't that mean…..

At this moment, I made the unspeakable error that everyone knows not to make when they are high up… I looked down. And I scream:

"AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I DON'T WANNA DIE!!!!!!!!! NOT AGAIN!!!!!!!!! WHY DO I FEEL LIKE THIS IS ALL THAT LIGHT GUY'S FAULT?!!!!!!!!!!!!"