11. Not a Douche (Jack O'Neill)

Not a Douche

Tony hated award ceremonies.  He didn’t want an award for doing his job.  Gibbs was doing this to torture him, he was sure.  It was not like he went to any of his own award ceremonies.  The box of Gibb's medals in Tony's desk proved it.

No. Tony did not have that luck.  He had to go.  It was on the order of Director Vance.  He was sure it was because Vance figured it would be torture for him.  He would be right as well.  Still, Tony couldn’t bring himself to admit it to the guy. So for his pride, he was suffering a penguin suit and what seemed like all the douches in Washington.

There was one thing that was saving this evening from being a total disaster. The free bar.  Tony was going to live it as large as his liver would allow.  He wasn’t stupid enough to get drunk but he wasn’t going to stop until he could go with the flow.

At the bar, there was a guy. A textbook, a picture-perfect definition of a silver-fox.  He owned his image in a way Gibbs never quite could.   Tony was in deep lust without him opening his mouth. He just hoped the guy was not a douche like the rest.

He wasn’t holding out hope.

“So what is a nice air-force guy doing at a Navy shindig?” Tony asked out of sheer curiosity.

The man turned around and wow, Tony was in the company of a Major-General.  The guy smirked but did answer,

“The Marines under my command are a special type of crazy but they deserve to be rewarded.” 

Tony held his hand out, "Agent Anthony DiNozzo, call me Tony."

Jack took it and let their hands linger, "Major General Jack O-Neill.  So what did you do to suffer this stupendous boredom fest?"

Tony’s respect went up a notch.  He was well aware, how the Marines reacted to other branches.  So if they respected a chair force commander, then there was more to the guy than meets the eye.  And just from the eye, he looked pretty good.  “I dived into a river to drag my drowning boss out.  It seemed like a good idea at the time.”

“Why? Do you hate your boss now, or something?” 

Tony snorted, “Well, that is the Jethro Gibbs effect. So more than a few have harboured murderous thoughts against him.” 

Jack whistled, he knew Jethro.  They had run some op together back in the day.  “So is Jethro still scaring everyone away?”

Tony shrugged, “I have lasted seven years.  I think it is a record.”Jack raised his glass because that was quite a feat.  “Gods, I hate this monkey suit.” Tony was glad there was someone else here who hated the pomp and circumstance. “Should a Major General be saying that?”Jack looked smug, “It is because I am a Major General that I can.”

He said it deadpan.  The humour he was showing would be intriguing amongst the joint chiefs.  Tony knew all the names of the mover and shakers in the military complex - He had to if he wanted to be good at his job.

“Fair enough, let’s drink to that,” Tony said without missing a beat.

O’Neill snorted, “It’s free booze.”

“And it tastes all the better for it,” Tony replied.  There had to be some compensation for the ceremony.

The General was bored if Tony was a good judge of character. Tony would be right as he asked,

“So ... why was it not a good idea?”

Tony could play dumb but he knew what Jack was asking him. “A small bout I had with Y-Pestis.”

Jack knew what that was. His team had had a run in with a society on MX-765B who lived with it hanging over them. “Bubonic or Pneumonic plague?” 

Tony was impressed and couldn’t hide it.  “Pneumonic.”Jack shuddered with empathy. “Well, then here is to been a stubborn bastard.”Tony chuckled clinking his glass. “My boss ordered me not to die. You can’t defy an order from a Marine.”

Jack liked this guy more and more.  DADT was a thing of the past but still ... He had saved the planet.  It should earn him a little leeway about his conquests.  It had in the past.  “Do you want to get out of here? Find a bar, watch some football?”Tony sucked in a breath. “Sure. I am so glad you not a douche.”

Jack had to laugh, “There are plenty who would say differently.”

Tony shook his head. “Not me.  You get the food, I will buy the drink. Date Heaven right there.”Jack raised an eyebrow at how forward Tony was.  He wasn’t wrong.  “You are not shy?”

Tony teased, “Do you want me to be? I can do role play but I think that is a fifth date type of thing.”

Jack finished his whiskey, “Nah, fourth date. Kinks are a fifth date conversation.” 

Tony sucked in a breath because damn, this guy wasn’t shy at all either.  He was playing to win and Tony for once was wondering what a fifth date would look like.  He wanted to find his footing,  “I thought all you soldiers are repressed?”

Jack grinned as he slung his jacket over his shoulders. “You will find there is nothing repressed about me.” 

Tony couldn’t wait to find out a hell of a lot more than that.