24. Take My Breath Away

[A/N: So I told myself I wasn't gonna post this until I got a few more scenes in but 1)I like this stopping point and 2)I'm sick and therefore I do what I want.

Blah lol. For those of you digging the Jancy vibes, you'll probably enjoy this. Let me know what you think!]

Chapter 24: Take My Breath Away (by Berlin)

"Watching every motion in my foolish lover's game. On this endless ocean, finally lovers know no shame…"

. . . . . . . .

Flashback

"All of these are out of state, Jim," Diane said dolefully as she peered over her husband's shoulder to review the list of treatment facilities the nurse had brought in.

"So we'll go out of state," Hopper replied as if it was nothing. At this point, she couldn't argue. He'd become so stubborn. She knew he was in pain but so was she. She desperately wanted to hold onto that same hope that he carried but every direction they turned seemed to take them down the same road and she wasn't sure if he was blind to it or actively choosing to ignore their daughter's prognosis.

Hopper wanted to be strong. He needed to be, for his daughter, for his wife… Even as their options dwindled, he felt like he was grasping at straws but he couldn't live with himself if he didn't try to grasp at something. What kind of man - what kind of father - gives up on his little girl without a fight?

"Do we know if they take insurance?" Diane looked up at the nurse, Jodie, who'd stuck around, a sympathetic expression on her long, pale face. Her mousey brown hair was pulled up into a thin ponytail and she looked much younger than she probably was.

"I'm not sure," Jodie replied. "I think we might have a brochure at the nurses' station for one or two of them. That might have information for payment options,"

Diane stole a glance at their sleeping daughter, resting peacefully with her head turned to the side against her pillow. "What if it doesn't work?" Diane questioned and Hopper cringed at the way her defeatist attitude chipped away at the remaining shred of hope he harbored. "What if we drag her out to one of these places -" She looked over the list again. "- in New York or Florida or Maryland and nothing changes? What if she can't make the trip? You heard the doctor - her cancer is aggressive and it's spreading!" Tears brimmed in her eyes as she added softly, "She's dying, Jim,"

Hopper looked at her, his eyes flashing despite the mournful look on her face. Exhaling sharply through his nose, he couldn't even formulate the words to respond to her. The comment was jarring and not something he wanted to hear, or accept.

"Um…" Jodie interjected with slight trepidation. "If I may… I had an internship when I was in college at a facility that may be able to help, and it's in the area,"

Shaking her head with dismayed resignation, Diane turned to the nurse as Hopper asked, "What facility?"

"Well, it's still a bit of a drive," The nurse admitted. "But it's in state. It's the Hawkins National Laboratory,"

. . . . . . . .

Benny's Burgers wasn't the same after Benny died and his brother took over but they still had the best fried food in the area and Nancy had insisted they go somewhere other than the mall. The last thing she wanted this weekend was to run into more of Steve's tactless and rude friends.

As they settled into a booth and waited on their orders, Nancy found herself zoning in and out of the story Steve was telling about Jennifer Hensley's party the weekend before.

"We told him, 'Dude, if you eat those, you're gonna regret it,' but he ate the rest of the box!" Steve recalled, laughing. "Five minutes later, he's on the deck puking red and blue like it's the Fourth of fucking July and he just looks at us and goes, 'That tasted like fruit roll-ups'!"

"That's disgusting…" Nancy muttered, thankful that their food hadn't come out yet.

"I know, I know," Steve shook his head, wiping his eye after laughing particularly hard. "I'm sorry; It was just a hilarious party, Nance. I wish you'd come,"

"Yeah," She said, staring down at the table and pursing her lips as an awkward silence fell over them.

"But hey, I mean," He said, obviously uncomfortable with the break in conversation. "I get it. I know it hasn't been easy for you since Barb left town," He tried to make eye contact, sympathizing, but she wouldn't lift her gaze. "I mean, hell, I thought I had it bad at home but I never thought about running away,"

Nancy's sigh told him that this wasn't helping.

"Anyway, um," He fiddled with a packet of sugar he'd plucked from the ceramic container at the edge of their table. "I get it, it sucks. And especially after everything that happened with that…" He looked around, hushing his voice. "That thing at the Byers' house…"

"Can we…" Nancy contorted her face with discomfort. "Um, can we… not talk about this?" She finally made eye contact but it wasn't in the way he'd hoped. "Please?"

"Um, yeah," He blinked, sitting back and dropping the sugar packet. "Yeah, sure," He nodded, lowering his gaze to the table. "Whatever you want,"

The rest of their conversation kept to superficial topics about things that didn't matter with the same air of forced awkwardness until he dropped her off back at home. A light snow had begun to fall and some patches of grass by the trees were dusted with flakes.

"I'll see you tomorrow, okay?" Steve said, leaning against the steering wheel to see her through the open passenger window.

"Yeah," Nancy nodded, her arms wrapped around herself. "See you tomorrow,"

As she watched him pull away, tail lights fading into the distance, Nancy couldn't help but think about how disconnected their interactions had become. When had she drifted away? Was it because she was depressed about Barb? She couldn't deny the impact that loss had had on her and there were only a scattered few who actually understood the pain she was dealing with. She and Mike had been able to relate a little bit after El disappeared but he'd never given up hope that she was out there somewhere. Then lo and behold, she was and they were able to pick up where they left off. And she was happy about that - happy for her brother and happy that El was safe. But there wasn't going to be a happy ending with Barb. And what was worse, there wasn't even going to be a proper ending. No funeral or memorial service. Constantly fielding questions and comments about how Barb ran off to the city or took a bus to D.C. or whatever the latest rumor going around school happened to be.

Before she realized it, Nancy was walking. The thin layer of snow accumulating on the ground crunched beneath her boots as she made her way down Maple on an otherwise quiet night.

. . . . . . . .

There was a liquor store near Hopper's trailer. He liked it because it stood by itself; there weren't many other businesses or buildings around it so he was usually less likely to run into a lot of the people in Hawkins. Living on the outskirts of a small town, it was the best he could ask for in terms of anonymity. This one was coupled with a small neighborhood bar that typically didn't see patrons outside of old WWII and Vietnam vets drinking away the memories of war from open til close.

He'd just gotten back into town after dropping El off in Clarksville. His latest interaction with Becky had been awkward to say the least but on the bright side, they were no longer talking about what happened between them. After his misstep a few weeks ago, it was easier to keep things civil at this point. The fact that they were essentially co-parenting this telekinetic girl was an awkward detail he liked to conveniently ignore.

He'd spent the day trekking through the bleak and barren landscape of the Upside Down, looking for a girl that he was picking up from a cozy suburban house in a few hours. Scientists had swarmed around him, collecting samples and talking in hushed voices about something in the works but he hadn't heard too much. Their behavior had become a bit more excited, a bit more frantic, as time had passed and he wondered exactly what was going on with these samples they'd been collecting. Every time they encountered one of those yellow pods, he'd never been able to get a close look at what they were doing. It wasn't just him, Kevin, and Linda out there anymore - each expedition involved at least a dozen scientists and that only probed his curiosity more. What was the big deal that the lab had decided to up the ante?

Before and after his lab in the lab, he'd spent the day chasing teenagers who thought vandalism was an appropriate extra-curricular activity and filing paperwork after a few busted tail light warnings. For what it was worth, Hawkins' need for police assistance had declined dramatically since they found Will Byers. Still, that didn't stop Hopper from being exhausted after going through the day living this double life.

As he walked into the liquor store side of the establishment, he scanned the refrigerator for a case of Budweiser. The liquor store was sectioned off from the bar side by a four foot wooden divider that left Hopper enough room to get what he needed, stand in line, and excuse himself past any customers in line behind him, should they come in. He was surprised enough to see someone up at the register, given how quiet this place normally was. Out on the bar side, he saw several of the regulars nursing beer from glasses as they watched the latest play-off game up on the TVs. He'd actually forgotten the Superbowl was coming up soon. There was a shuffleboard table off to the side collecting dust and an older man with a handlebar mustache was playing darts alone in the corner.

"Hey Hop," Hopper was startled out of his exhausted mind-wandering by a familiar voice.

"Joyce," He blinked, recognizing her and fighting back a yawn. "What are you doin' here?"

She shrugged, gesturing with the six pack of Michelob's in her hand. "It's been a rough week,"

"You're tellin' me," Hopper replied gruffly. "Gimme a sec to pay for this and I'll catch up with you outside," He said, stepping up to the cashier so he could ring up his purchase as Joyce walked out of the building.

"So how's everything going?" She asked as soon as he was outside, her six pack sitting in wait atop the roof of her car.

"It's going," Hopper replied brusquely, setting his case of beer in the backseat of his SUV before leaning against the side and pulling a pack of cigarettes from his pocket.

"I mean, how's El? In her new home?" Joyce elaborated, though Hopper had gotten it the first time.

"She seems fine," Hopper nodded thoughtfully before lighting up and taking a drag. "I mean, you know she doesn't talk much but from what I can tell and what Becky's been sayin', she seems alright up there," He said, exhaling and blowing a cloud of smoke into the air, watching as it wafted across the tiny parking lot. "Apparently she's even got some friends," He added, his words heavy as though there was more to the story but he paused, lifting his cigarette to his lips.

"Well, that's a good thing," Joyce said, retrieving a cigarette from her purse and lighting up as well. "I know we were all worried about her being separated from the boys,"

"Yeah," Hopper admitted. "Except she suckered me into letting these new friends come down here next weekend so they can all go to that Henderson kid's birthday party,"

Joyce's eyebrows furrowed with thought as she eyed him and a smirk appeared on her lips. "Her first sleepover?"

Hopper rolled his eyes. "I don't know how the hell I'm gonna manage four girls in that trailer, even if they only come for one night,"

"Oh, Hop," Joyce crossed her arms to block out the cold, unable to stop smiling. "That's gonna be so good for her,"

"It better be 'cause it's gonna be a pain in the ass for me," Hopper retorted. "She asked me about it on the way back to Clarksville earlier and -"

"You couldn't say no," Joyce said knowingly. "Typical Hopper,"

He furrowed his brow suspiciously at her. "What's that supposed to mean?"

Joyce chuckled, "You're still the same Jim Hopper from high school," She replied. "Rough around the edges but a big softie deep down,"

He deadpanned, giving a look to indicate he was clearly not amused but it didn't shake her. Instead, she laughed, taking a final drag on her cigarette before dropping it to the ground and stomping it out with her boot.

"Let me know if you need any help," She said pleasantly, grabbing her six-pack from the roof of the car and opening the driver's side door. "When you're raising two boys, a girls' sleepover actually sounds like a nice change of pace,"

"I'll keep that in mind," He lifted his chin, grinning before tossing his cigarette butt into the parking lot. "Have a good night, Joyce,"

. . . . . . . .

Jonathan couldn't ignore the opportunity for some winter landscape photos as the snow drifted down gracefully over Hawkins. As soon as Joyce had gotten back from the liquor store, he'd gone out to try and capture as many images as he could while it was still fresh and unblemished by footprints, salt, or car exhaust. Ever since November, they didn't leave Will home alone if there was any way to avoid it so as soon as Joyce had pulled into the driveway, Jonathan's camera was around his neck and he was out the door.

He'd gotten a few good shots so far, mostly trees with mini snow mounds forming on delicately thin branches. There was a creek farther out that had frozen and the light from a distant streetlight was reflecting against the ice and the rocks beautifully.

Rustling from up near the road caught his attention and he stood up, looking around for the source of the sound before he saw a petite young woman passing by several yards away.

"Nancy!" He called out as he headed over to her, unsure of how she could have such a magnetic pull on him that he hadn't thought twice about pursuing her. "Hey Nancy!" He called again as he got closer and she turned around.

She was in the same outfit he'd seen before but a brown suede coat with faux fur lining and a white knitted cap were protecting her from the elements.

"What are you doing out here?" He asked once he'd caught up to where she now stood standing in the road.

"I um," She said, looking around as though she were lost. "I was just taking a walk. I didn't realize how far I'd gone, though,"

"A walk?" Jonathan asked, quirking his head.

"Yeah," Nancy nodded and he could tell there was a lot on her mind by her expression. "Um, just thinking, I guess,"

"Is everything okay?" He asked tentatively, still eyeing her and trying to assess what was going on.

"Yeah, it's fine," She shook her head dismissively. "I'm fine. I just... " She sighed. "I don't know what I'm doing,"

Jonathan chortled. "I don't think most people do,"

"I guess," Nancy breathed, looking out into the woods as snowflakes landed on the shoulders and hood of her coat. "Um, what about you? Why are you out here?"

Jonathan held up his camera in response and Nancy nodded. "Oh, right,"

Without a word, they both began to walk down the road, falling into step in a comfortable silence as the street became progressively more slippery.

"Do you ever, like," Nancy started, breaking the silence quite suddenly. "Do you ever think about whether you're doing the right thing or if you're just, stuck?"

Jonathan shrugged, stuffing his hands into his pockets and regretting forgetting his gloves. "What do you mean?"

Nancy sighed, "I dunno," She said, defeated. "Nevermi -" Her words were cut short when her boot lost traction in the snow, her arms flailing as she lost her balance. Jonathan quickly reached out and grabbed her in an attempt to steady her but the sudden movement caused him to lose his own footing and the two of them went down in the snow-ladden street with Jonathan breaking her fall.

"Ahh…" He groaned softly as he lay on his back, his coat having absorbed most of the impact but still knowing he was going to be sore later. "Are you okay?"

Nancy was still splayed over him, chest to chest and her face inches from his as she regained her bearings. "Um, yeah, I'm fine,"

Despite the cold, an unmistakable heat filled the air around them as their eyes locked on one another, their breath coming out in white puffs that merged as one between them. Neither moved for a moment, muscles tense for some uncertain reason as some sort of invisible magnetic pull tugged at them, urging them to move closer.

A loud scraping sound jarred them from the moment and they looked up to see a snowplow heading down the street.

"Here, c'mon," Jonathan said, grabbing her hand and helping her up. And even as he led her out of the street, Nancy didn't mind that he had yet to let go.

. . . . . . . .

"Turning and returning to some secret place inside. Watching in slow motion as you turn around and say… Take my breath away…"