Harry's Shortcoming (Pt. 12)

He'd never forget this feeling. This feeling of wanting to peel his old skin off so he could be something else. A new person.

     That's something he'd never known. Never felt uncomfortable with himself. Never doubted his own thoughts and convictions.

     But now, what did all that mean? When he threw it all out the window with a flick of his wrist.

      "I'll... Pack my things now and leave in the morning..." Keep his gaze down, Harry stood up slowly.

      "Oh? And why is that?" Lady's Katayama's voice maintained a steady gentle tone. Harry sensed no anger anywhere. But, people hid stuff from their voices all the time without even realizing it.

      Holding his breath, his eyes slid up to the woman sitting on her knees just a few inches away, her graceful hands folded neatly in her lap. Ankle length, sky colored hair, spilled out around her like a pool of water.

      I couldn't blame her, he thought as his eyes slid up to her face. How could she possibly be okay with him doing the exact opposite of why she formed this school in the first place.

      It was only the logical thing to say goodbye to him at this point.

      I've made the most grievous of errors. Something worse than bad grades. Or bad Warrior skills. Those things can be easily fixed.

     But this lingering feeling of hatred... A subconscious thing he wanted to claw away but couldn't yet. Maybe ever.

     Someone like this didn't deserve a seat at the table of Academy of Masters, sworn to protect the ones that needed it most.

      Like a little girl abandoned in a village of strangers.

      "...!"

     Harry locked eyes with Lady Katayama and he couldn't look away.

     Compassion... Warmth... Kindness...

     All those things, and more, greeted him along with a gentle smile of understanding.

     "H-How..."

     Maybe...

     Any other time...

     On another day... For another reason... it would've soothed his weeping heart another time.

    But now, just hurt inside more.

     Like four walls were closing in on him, slowly crushing him to death. Stealing away the very air around him and turning it into shards of glass to pierce his lungs from the inside out.

     It made him want to throw up.

     He took a step back.

     Breathe...

     Another step.

     I have to breathe!

     He spun on his heel and ran from the garden. Away from the suffocating look of unconditional love and compassion.

     She didn't run after him. Didn't stop him.

     Without remembering running there, Harry made it to the bottom floor, where the dorm rooms were at. Without hesitation he slammed the door behind him.

     He fell against the door, holding a shaky to his mouth. The nausea started slipping away, and the pain his lungs receded into small prods.

     After ten minutes of just leaning against the door, his mind reeling with the image of Lady Katayama sitting there in the grass like a gentle deer with those beautiful doe shaped brown eyes, Harry finally got the strength to step forward.

     Taking a long look around his room, his shoulders slumped. This place held so many memories from his childhood.

     Silica and Harry sitting on the end of his bed while he performed the awkward looking ritual dances of the Giant race. Or hid under the covers while he retold the scary legends the Hobogoblins created to keep their children from doing dangerous things.

     He pinched the bridge of his nose, blinking back the blurry tears welling up.

     "I'm going to miss this place."