Chapter Twenty

I just arrived at the gym and all I want is just to work out, no chitchat coz am not really in the mood for it. I need to take my frustration out on something. So I focus all the energy on the treadmill. Maybe somehow it will calm me down after using much energy. I usually get tired faster running but today I am too absorbed in shedding the negative energy that Jim gets worried and stops me.

"Hey, Alexa are you okay?" He asks once it stops running, and the tears I had been holding decides they no longer want to stay. So I just let it all out and Jim hugs me to himself giving me a shoulder to lean on. I cry for a whole five minutes then I calm down.

"Thank you Jim," I said as detached myself from him. "Can I go on now?" I request.

"Do you want to talk about it?" He asks and I shake my head.

He restarts the treadmill and I hit it again as he just watches me. To be honest I feels so relieved after crying. I wonder what happened to Lee. I kind of expected he would call immediately and tell me he was bluffing earlier but he disappointed me. Looks like I will have to look for another therapist soon. Maybe Hazel's therapist would be better.

Two hours later am back home. Today I will cook. Take away foods have no heart. So after taking a refreshing bath I head down to the kitchen. I find peas and meat in the fridge, I guess I need to be creative enough to make a tantalizing meal here. So I fix the meat in the cooker and reach out for baking flour. I have to eat chapatti today somehow. About an hour later the kitchen smells all nice and delicious. The scrumptious meal is laid out before me and I take pictures just for future reference. After that I dig hungrily at the food. I must have been starving coz ten minutes later my plate is empty. After clearing the table I rush to my room for the drugs. And as I fish them out, my thoughts goes to Lee. I can't fathom why he grew cold feet all of a sudden. Has he already decided to quit?

Am startled by the ringing of my phone and I rush to retrieve it in my bag, half expecting it to be Lee. I receive without looking at the caller. It turned out to be Hazel checking up on me. My disappointment increases. Lee is actually walking away from me. So I place the phone on the stand and since am in my lacy gown I just jump to bed and burry my entire self in a blanket as soon as I close my eyes sleep crept and I floated in bliss.

Three hours later my alarm wakes me up and I rush to freshen up before getting ready for work. On checking my phone am hit by a wave of shock. Seven missed calls from Lee. And several messages. That's weird! I didn't hear my phone ringing at all but I heard my alarm.

In his messages Lee was apologising for being selfish and the greatest part is he agreed to continue with the therapy. Am glad he accepted to do this for me.

Today I choose to be the one at the counter. Am not in the mood to interact with anyone and so the best way to avoid people and work at the same time is to just serve from the counter. Lyn, Trini, Mandy and Christie are to do the round. Am kinda avoiding meeting with Lee too coz I may punch his ass. Am too focused on the job that I didn't notice the girls come in. The four of them head straight to the opposite of the counter.

"Hello there bitch, won't you come around to serve us today?" One asks. I learnt their names and their addresses but I will act dump.

"Well ma'am as you can see am busy over here but my girls can serve you", I replied faking humility.

"Well, we don't want your girls to serve us, we want you," says another

"Am sorry am not available today," I glared at her.

"Don't they usually say the needs of a client comes first?" Says another. Looks like they were taking turns to try and provoke me.

"Well, whoever said that didn't mean annoying and trouble making bitches," I served them hot.

I could see how uncomfortable they became once they heard that and they exchanged glances fuming and cussing. I couldn't help but grin.

Miriam glared me and stomped away, I guess she was the biggest share holder in trouble making. More like a queen coz the rest just followed her like sheep.

That's a clue. I will strike Miriam first. She is the tree while the rest are branches. And when you cut the tree, the branches fall with it.

I got more energized thinking of this and my mood changed to a better one.

"Someone seems to be in a better mood already. Did thunder strike your enemy or something?" Trini said standing beside me.

"Not really, thunder called to say its coming for them," I winked at her and head to the other direction.

I haven't been to the pool for some time now. So I head straight there, ignoring Lee who is just watching me.

I opened the door and immediately spot Lyn in a corner away from the rest making out with a man.

"Alexa!"

Someone calls out and that seems to have caught Lyn's attention and she looks at me apologetically. And moves away from the man.

"Hello Damon, what can I do for you?" I turn to the caller

"Come over here," he gestures to a seat next to him.

"You know I can't sit right?" I told him.

"I called you to distract those two from making out right here, they looked like animals on heat," he whispers to me and I gasp.

"You are a damn hater," I teased while in the inside I was giving him a thumbs up.

"I am not. They should have gotten a room if they wanted to screw, just not in the public like dogs, its disgusting," he says clearly irritated

"Okay barrister Damon can I go now if you don't want to order?" I asked and he turns back his attention to me.

"You haven't called, did you throw my card in a trash bin or something?" He asks.

"I haven't had a free and perfect time for that but trust me, you are a very interesting person am planning that date soon." I entertain him and he looks excited.

"I will be waiting for that," he says and grins at me. I exit to go back to the counter. And there at the door stands the man himself. Lee

"Alexa, are you avoiding me now?" He pulls my hand.

He should thank the stars that am calmer now coz I would have thrown him to where the sun don't shine

"Listen Lee. This is not the time and place. And no am not avoiding you, am just taking my time to think of other things. So can you please calm down and just do what brought you here?" I try so hard to explain when I actually feel like lashing on him.

He looks at me confused. And for a moment I feel guilty. So I reach for his hand which is so cold and I try to convince him.

"Hey, am okay Lee. Am sorry I was just so disappointed in you." This brings him a little light.

"When you left me at the park, I felt so empty like I lost you and reason was I pushed you away. Guilt has been eating me up all day. Am really sorry Alexa. I will make it up to you. I promise," he swears and I see a genuine person.

"Thanks Lee. Now go home its getting late and you need to rest," I told him and gave him a peck before walking away. It usually works wonders.

"Trouble in Paradise?" Trini asks once I get back to the counter.

"What do you mean?" I throw one back.

"Well, if you hadn't noticed the guy you just talked to has been waiting for you since he came in. Like he had been missing something. Today he just ordered one drink and he has spent almost three hours holding it like it was poisonous." She said and I gasp

Lee usually takes at least four bottles of beer or a whole bottle of Hennessey. Whatever was going on in his head was the poison.

'Well, maybe its because I didn't talk to me. He usually says when I do, he gets motivated an can drown a bottle in one gulp," I wink at her.

"Okay Miss motivator by the look of things you have done wonders. He just took his last gulp and is already heading out. Great job!" She claps dramatically.

Lyn enters the counter and our eyes meet and she immediately looks down. Well, this is the first. Since when did Lyn shy off from anyone. Trini notices the tension.

"Are you two by any chance having a fight? Alexa, Lyn here looks like she stole your man and you caught her pants down," she asks looking at us in turns.

"Trini can you give us a moment?" Lyn requests and she frowns

""What? Another trouble in Paradise? So its true you were caught pants down huh...alright I will leave you two alone provided I will be the referee if you come to blows. Am watching you," she indicates gesturing with her peace fingers and exits

"Its not what you think," Lyn blurts out moving closer but doesn't look me in the eye.

"Umh...I don't understand" I indicate

"What you saw at the pool room. Me and a stranger making out in the corner. I swear its not what it looked like," she turns to look at me. I could see she was struggling to keep herself together. This is serious.

"Hey, talk to me Lyn. Did he force you, coz trust me you looked like you were enjoying every little bit of it." I stated and she laughed tearfully.

"I was caught up in a moment. I haven't had anyone touch me in a very long time. He started it and did it just the way I like it and I drowned to pure desire," she says regretfully.

"You know I can't judge you. Its your life Lyn, you got the power to do what you damn please with it. If that moment made you happy then you don't have to regret. We are all chasing happiness in one way or another. So fuck regrets. Do what makes you happy and for the record, you don't need permission from anyone. So looking at me with such guilt, is way overrated," I tell her and I see how bright she suddenly becomes, the next thing I know, she is all over me tightly hugging me.

"Dude, you know am not gay right?" I said and she pulls away.

"If you were, I would definately do you," she chuckles. She is back to her old self again.

"But seriously you should get a room next time, someone told me you looked like dogs on heat," she frowns.

"Was it that bad?" She face palms herself

"Yeah that bad,but it doesn't count coz you still had that kiss," I wink at her.

"You are so freaking unbelievable. But do you know, I actually didn't get his name?" I frown

"You are the unbelievable one, how can you...," I was cut short by Trini.

"Wow! Looks like Paradise is back to normal. So tell me who won. Who gets to keep the man? Oh, no! Don't tell me you agreed to share" She looks at us expectantly.

"That's none of your fucking business bitch," Lyn sneers at her.

"You guys amaze me," I laugh.

The night goes well and we finally close and went to lay our heads.

Am done with taking the tablets given to me by Lee and am heading to his office right now. Am kinda nervous because the thought of having my memories back are exciting and scaring at the same time. Am scared of finding out things about my past that I may not like, am scared of the thought of having enemies who hunt me down, am scared of finding out that all this time I had family but we have never crossed paths. Am scared of finding out I have siblings that I won't recognize. Am just so scared of so much. But even with all these I have to do this. I have to find out who I am at all cost.

Lee is seated at the office busy in his computer when I enter after knocking. He looks up when I clear my throat and rises immediately to receive me.

"Sorry I was doing some eleventh hour research on your case. Have a seat," he gestures after releasing me from the hug.

How we started hugging is still a mystery and a story for another time.

"So is everything okay? Shall we begin right away?" I ask going straight to the point.

"You are that ready huh?..." He asks

"Yes, I want it over and done with. I want a peaceful life as soon as now," I reply snapping my fingers.

"Okay come on and lie in that bed. Leave everything here, you will collect them later,"he points at an empty couch beside his desk.

I do as told and walk nervously towards the bed, its finally happening and I can't believe it. I hope all goes well. As I lay on the bed all I can think of are imaginary things am gonna do after my memory is back.

"So am going to inject you with this drug that will help you relax and the brain ready," Lee comes over gloves covering both hands and in his hands are the liquid and syringe.

He prepares my veins and empties the contents into it. Then he fixes some machines in my head and asks me to take it easy as the results kick in. I feel the tension that I had fading away and my mind and body are in harmony. My eyes close involuntarily and am taken into a different world.

I see myself as a little girl playing outside a familiar place. Carrying a little kitten and am having a comb in the other hand. I guess I was smoothening the kittens hair. Suddenly it jumps out of my hands and leaves scratches in my hand. I started crying and two tiny kids come to see what's going on. A woman emerges out of nowhere and starts talking. I can't hear what she is saying and I struggle to strain myself. That's when am brought back to some loud peeping and the unmistakable voice of brings me back to reality.

"What's happening, why did you stop?" I ask

"You were straining too much and that's why the machine warned us. We don't Want any break down right now." He replies and am so disappointed. They shouldn't have done that.

"I need to go back, I need to listen to that woman's conversation and listen what name she calls me," I plead

"You have to calm down Alexa, if you want to stay in there more then you have to be calm as everything unfolds. It may take some time but trust me the progress is worth it. So if you strain we will have to push until when you are ready." Lee explains

'Okay then am ready shall we continue please?" I request.

"Okay lie back down and close your eyes," he says as he rounds to fix the machine.

Am back within a minute but this time round am in school, playing and running around with others. There is this happiness in my face of pure innocence and I feel tearful about it. A teacher calls out and we all turn to her direction. She looks familiar but I still don't know her. She speaks to me and just like the other time I can't hear anything. So the machine beeps again and Lee is at it the minute it beeps louder and removes it.

My life laid out on display like that is amazing but I was hopping it could fast forward to a few years back. Where I was already grown. As for my childhood, I just need to know who my parents and siblings are, and what name they called me, but the major threat now is why am in danger that means it should be more recent. I need to find out soon and tackle my enemies. I should strike them first or take them by surprise, if not then I should be ready for what's coming.

"Are you okay there? I have been talking to myself while you were in your own world," Lee's voice brings me back and I realized I was still lying on the bed. So I get up and head to the couch in the office and fell on it.

"Am okay Lee, what were you saying?"

"I was saying I realized that you couldn't hear what was being said and that's the reason you were straining so much making the machine uncomfortable. So how about this, you go home and relax. When you come back tomorrow I would have done some good research and you will be able to hear every conversation." Lee explains.

"That's great, I really want to hear every conversation. Please make it happen Lee. Thank you very much so far is great," I smile at him and he smiles back.

"Didn't I promise I will make it up to you? Am just fulfilling my promise coz am a man who doesn't go back on promises," he says as we both rise.

"Thank you for that. I gotta go now," I peck him and turned to leave.

"See you tonight then Alexa," he calls out as I exit.

As I walk home am all smiles and hopeful that everything will unfold well for me.

Today has been a good day for me. The hope of getting my memories back is all that goes on in my mind. Am ready for the surprises that life has in store for me. Anything and everything both friends and foes from my past, I will still inherit them.

I have to head to the gym so I hurry home and changed to gym wear. Since am in a lighter mood I will jog all the way there. So I fix everything okay, got my headphones and head out. The road out here is not so busy, no traffic nonsense so I spring towards the gym, headphones blasting with soothing music. The gym is not so far its just a kilometer away from the house. I usually board a motorbike but today is different.

Am there in approximately 15 minutes my jogging is great thanks to the treadmill.

"Hey Jim" I waved as soon as I spot him.

The place is usually deserted during the day so I can just see about two trainees, I being the third one.

"Hello there Alexa, I thought you weren't coming in today you or did you change your schedule?" Jim asks as he crosses over to where I am an engulfs me in a hug.

"I had to take care of something first. You know I won't miss a day. By the way I jogged all the way here. I can bet your hard work is showing already." I fill him in.

"Really? You are like a kilometer away. So how long did it take you?" He enquires

"According to my timer it took me fifteen minutes and thirty seconds, that should be a good start," I replied

"Its a great start. In fact you should be doing that on a daily basis, it will save you money as well as keep you fit," he says.

"So I won't need more treadmills once I keep that up?" I asked

Trust me that would surely be enough, speaking of which it starts officially. So head straight to bike riding. You might need to keep your figure too," he adds.

I head straight to the bike and start my timer. I want it to last for thirty continuous minutes before I take a break. Am having lots of fun here and it refreshes my mind and helps me relax.

Thirty minutes after am so exhausted I ask for water and Jim hands me a bottle. My legs can't take it any more so I sprawl on the floor trying to catch some air and Jim comes to my rescue and scoops me from the floor and takes me to an empty couch in the room.

"You overdid it do you have to death wish or something?" He asks, his face a mask of worries.

"Awe you look so worried like I mean the world to you," I tease and he looks away.

I don't want any kind of entanglement so I don't push and instead I quickly change the topic.

"So I was thinking of learning how to fight and I would like you to teach me self defense skills. Can you do that?" I ask taking a huge swig on a water.

"Of course am ready for anything. So anytime you are ready just tell me," he replies.

"Well, I want to start tomorrow." I watch his reaction and I am Tell he is shocked.

"Can I ask you something?" He looks up to me, "are you in some kind of trouble or are you running away from someone?" He asks.

"No am not am just learning how to protect myself in case of anything," I told him getting up, I don't like the way this is going so I better get going. That's enough for today and am not ready for anyone to kill my moods.

I gotta go Jim, see you tomorrow. I wave at him taking big strides towards the exit. I didn't even pay attention to whatever he replied. Outside the gym I put my headphones on and started my journey back to the house.

Am home, twenty minutes later and I head straight to the bathroom for a cold shower. I have like four good hours to relax. So after the bath I decided to prepare something to eat since am starving. So I head to the kitchen to check what was available. There is chicken in the freezer and I decide to cook rice. So I work on the chicken while rice cooks and an hour later am seated at the dining table having the scrumptious meal.

After cleaning up I head to my bedroom I need a nap and since am exhausted and full it didn't take me long before I fell asleep.

"I can't believe school is over. This is actually our last day in this damn institution. So tonight we gonna party like never before." I turn to look around, am walking with four ladies chatting happily their voices are familiar but their faces are blurred so I can't tell who they are. Suddenly there is laughter a lot of evil laughter and when I turn around am all alone in a dark room. I get confused, just a second ago I was with people and now a second later am all alone surrounded by nothing but four dark walls and evil laughter coming from all sides. I think am going crazy.

I try to walk to find a door but I stumble and fell.

Thud! I hit the ground and it hurts. "Ouch!" I yell then I open my eyes. Where am I? I look at my surroundings. This is Hazel's place. And clearly I just woke up from a nightmare.

Suddenly my alarm goes off making me jump in fear. Its already six in the evening and I should be on my way to the club.so I rush to wash my face in the bathroom and changed to a black ragged jeans, a yellow top and a blue hoodie. I finish up with white sport shoes and headed out. Taking my sling bag and phone.

The club is coming to live and immediately I get out of the changing room Lyn tells me that the boss was asking for me and he is waiting in his office. So I head there wondering why he summoned me.

"Come in!" Comes the answer when I knock on Ryan's door. I hesitate for a minute then I take a deep breath before I entered.

"You asked for me sir?" I asked immediately he turns his head to see me.

"Good evening to you too Alexa. Where are your manners young lady?" He creases his brows and am so embarrassed.

"Pardon my manners sir. Good evening to you, I hope all is well," I couldn't help but worry.

"Its okay Alexa, please take a seat," he gestures me to a couch directly opposite his huge mahogany table.

"So I was wondering about your next performance you know rhumba time like the other one. What plans do you have? I have been looking forward to it for sometime now," he finally gets to the points and I release a breath I didn't know I was holding.

"Honestly sir it was just a one time thing and I did it just to earn an extra since I needed money for emergency," I opened up and he looks at me disappointment written all over his face.

"Really Alexa? Is that how much you are determined to disappoint me?" He asks leaning his elbows at the table and looking at me intently and I shy off.

"Well, that's the truth sir. I needed the money and the only other way of earning genuine extra money was to try singing. It was my first time performing in front of an audience really and besides my cover was almost blown up yet I wanted to remain as anonymous as possible. Am really sorry sir." I explained

"Well, you can't have us tasting a bit of sweetness and disappear with it. If you haven't noticed since that day,the people in the club have increased and my guess is word got out there that something good was happening here and that is good music. So do you want us to lose all those customers Alexa?" He asks and puts me on the hot seat.

I fidget on my seat so uncomfortably as I get lost deep in thoughts.

"Ahem!" He clears his throat bringing me back to reality, "what do you want for it to happen Alexa, coz by the look of things you are growing cold feet. Do you want more money than the last time since it motivated you. Name it Alexa and I will make it happen as per your wishes."

Am taken aback. That's a huge offer I should take advantage but then, this guy right here offered me a job when I had none so I should be fair to him somehow.

"Okay then sir I will do it," I finally said it and he shouted a big yes with delight wiping his face. Did I make this man sweat?

"Thank you so much Alexa for accepting to perform. Name your price," he says reaching for a pen and a notebook ready to scribble.

"Last times pay will be enough, but I need a special costume and a mask to cover my identity." I declared and he accepts my deal.

"So when are you ready to hit the stage? Tomorrow or day after tomorrow?" He asks excitedly.

"Day after tomorrow will be perfect since I need some kind of practice, so tomorrow we go in search of a perfect gown." I tell Ryan and he agrees automatically.

"Then we have a deal," I rose up and stretched my hand for the deal to be sealed through a handshake. Ryan rises and shakes my hand firmly and I turn to leave closing the door behind me. I take a minute to reflect what just happened and I headed back to the club. The girls are already busy and I help Trini at the counter to give out orders.