Chapter 8

"We need to talk."

I turn around to find Eric; what does he want? "What do you want?"

"I heard your little speech to Matt back there, he wanted to come and talk to you, but I didn't let him. You needed to be alone, and he can't get out of bed. I knew that would result in another quarrel, and you can only make much of those speeches. You have a talent for them just like-"

"Just like dad, I know. I should apologize to him I know I should, but it kills me to see him give up, the light in both of their eyes are gone. I don't want to deal with the more depressing version of dad's story."

"I know Emma, I know."

"I know he feels like letting go was the easier option for everyone. I know it's not though, it just causes more pain to the people that you love. I don't think anyone is ready for that."

I had forgiven him and we returned to being normal. Same routine and they had been the same every day since.

A few weeks later Matt had passed away. I wish I could say Matt had been strong until the end but he wasn't. He was sad and weak and done with life. He had tried to do what I said, but by the end it took way too much effort to fight.

It was done he was gone. Pathetic aren't I, I can't even say the word that he is permanently gone and wasn't coming back. I can't even say that word in the same sentence with my dad. Two of the most important people in my life are gone, and they aren't coming back. There is no way that any of them are coming back and it hurts like hell.

A few weeks later it was his funeral everyone was crying or either trying to keep a straight face. I was next to Dan and Amelia, I haven't talked at all in weeks and I don't think that I will anytime soon. I know that won't suffice with Dan and the rest of the family. I know they want the best but the best wasn't to talk it was to leave me alone. Dan apparently wasn't familiar with that fact.

"Leave me alone, Dan," we have been going around in circles in the mosque, he's been trying to get to me and talk to me.

"Then just talk to me."

"About what? How people keep dying on me, that I wish that I were dead, maybe your brother would be alive. I don't want to deal with this anymore I am done, everything sucks. What else, maybe that we didn't even start attendance in college and I lost two of the most important people in my life and I can't anymore. Or that you lost your brother, your other half, to a horrible disease. I give up. I honestly give up."

"Then tell me, you aren't the only person that lost some one and you need to breath. We both need to breathe. We can't shut each other out. Matt wouldn't have wanted that."

He makes a move to hug me and that's when I break, everything I have been holding for the past few months, released.

I had let everything out. I don't think I was done, because a bomb that had just exploded, it wasn't an easy one. That bomb was about the first and I am sure it wasn't the last.

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