Chapter 315: Dung Droppers and Worker’s Rights

"Good morning sunshine." Ares was waving down at his brother who'd been tossing and turning for the last hour, occasionally mumbling 'no, bad dolphin! Bad!" to himself in his sleep. The dolphin trauma would fade soon enough and a nice breakfast ought to cheer him up so Ares had made him some coffee and toast to start the day right as something of an apology for knocking him out twice in one day. Aejaz blinked his eyes open, glowered at Ares, but then gave up on his facial expression when he sniffed the aforementioned beverage. His head followed his nose and, soon enough, he was drooling the direction of the good stuff and so Ares left him to it while he went back to pressurising the Primordial Blade. He'd only been doing this for a short while as Ares had actually spent most of the morning out and about, cultivating in strange spots. He'd been sitting on rooftops, hanging off the edges of various sterns and bows, and hugging masts near the tip without any footing. This sounded strange but he was still working on that passive cultivation thing wherein he could cultivate anywhere and at any time... Though he did get many funny looks from confused spectators but they either thought he was insane or recognised him as Ares... And then immediately understood that he was doing this precisely because he had a few screws loose; in that sense pretty much everyone came to the same conclusion and left the madman alone.

This wasn't the first time Ares had been spotted doing weird stuff since his debut at the international and the start of the tournament long before that, visiting My Fair Lady and entering the shady tent of some self-proclaimed profit (Yulo) for example, so his reputation preceded him in many ways with not all of them being good necessarily. Of course nobody thunk less of him, all people were strange in one way or another and had their peculiarities, but they at least knew to ignore him when he was climbing around ships like some kind of seafaring monkey searching high and low for a banana. As for Ares' progress regarding his goal of passive cultivation, he was getting more and more convinced it was entirely possible if he kept at it. He could feel the mental strain of cultivating slowly disappearing over time and cultivating in precarious places was speeding up the whole process. Ares had no idea why he was having such an easy time of this compared to the countless other people that tried and failed but he was assuming it has something to do with his pressure resistance. Cultivating in front of a monster, for instance, would be nigh impossible for most people because of the passive aura it generated. Scenic locations, that could be hazardous if you weren't fully paying attention, had something similar, a sort of dangerous vibe that distracted you from cultivating properly. It was like an invisible hand that slapped you if you ever tried to cultivate in front of it but Ares was fully immune to it and never had to experience it. As for why Dominus never learnt passive cultivation despite having the perfect tools for it... Honestly, he probably wasn't even aware it existed. He cared about weapons, and to some extent technicals, but that was really just about it. He was lazy as far as improving his cultivation went and figured a stronger art was more beneficial to him at any given point than going up a stage of cultivation. In a way, he was quite like Ares in that he preferred to cultivate through action by beating strong people up and reaping the rewards after. if it weren't for the fact that Ares had some free downtime here and there he wouldn't exactly be experimenting with this either.

About an hour later, after Aejaz was done eating his breakfast, and staring at the floor until he was sure no dolphins were about come leaping out, the two set out to explore more of the Federation. There was a lot to see and a lot to do and, quite frankly, Ares had no idea where to even start! Shopping? Fending off threats to the Federation? Meet hunter? Look for some food? Search around for info on the Firestarters? All equally valid options but Ares was having some serious choice paralysis here so he decided to just walk! Whatever he came across, he would interact with! He did set an end goal, Hunter's shop, but other than that? Whatever happens, happens! Aejaz wasn't much a fan of this style of exploration though as he was more calculated in his approach to stuff like this. He already had a pretty decent lay of the 'land' nearby and was ready to go on a massive thieving trip as soon as he and Ares were done playing around with miscellaneous tasks.

Aejaz didn't really much care for anything else, and that was his priority numero uno, so Ares promised to let him go do his own thing after today... So long as he didn't get caught! It wouldn't be a major problem but it would still be a hassle for Ares so he set an artificial limit on Aejaz otherwise he would just never stop and, soon enough, he would become one of the threats to the Federation! Ares would be tasked with hunting the 'mysterious bandit who steals from all the shop owners' down. Ares wanted nothing to do with that so the limit he set would help prevent his compulsive brother from drawing too much aggro. Aejaz wasn't pleased about this but he knew better than to cause trouble and defy Ares on this one because what he was saying, unfortunately, made a lot of sense. He did manage to wriggle a few extra 'hits' on businesses per day, by convincing Ares it was important for his cultivation, but that was far as he got and anything more was met with the cracking of knuckles so Aejaz listened to his big brother lest he end up sleeping with the fishes again.

The two set off and, not even five minutes of wandering around, alarms were alerting the people aboard the Federation that something was heading towards them. Given the nature of the warning, which came in the form of air-raid sirens, Ares knew precisely what was coming and looked up to the sky with his hand blocking out the bright sun overhead. Seagulls! Or, to be more precise, seagull bombers! The seagulls around here frequently migrated along the same path the Federation took to get from one place to another so the animosity between the two groups was considerable. The Federation simply wanted to pass peacefully but the seagulls seemed to adamantly believe the Federation was some kind of natural disaster that scared away all the fish they wanted to eat, thus creating an impasse for peaceful relations. The seagulls would look down and see barrels and nets full of sea animals that were supposed to be their prey and then they would vow to get payback. They'd fly off to to gather their squadrons and launch strafing runs with their magic.

It was worth it to mention that, really, these things weren't actually that dangerous. It's not that they couldn't kill a person, they could, but it required deadly precision and was generally considered to be a rare occurrence. See, the seagulls effectively loaded their literal shit with mana and turned it into miniature bombs that they flung at people below. This was obviously extremely rude and disgusting but, if hit on the head, could very well reap the life of someone unsuspecting. The exploding faecal matter would mostly just splatter onto people and transmit illnesses to make them sick like a form of chemical warfare. This attack was relatively easy to avoid but cleaning up afterwards was a task that nobody ever wanted to do. Plus it left behind a foul odour that could bypass even the most secure hazmat with all the latest runes embedded into it so it was extraordinarily unpleasant.

Though this was the gulls main method of attack, they also possessed one known other. Seagulls had evolved to contain bits of extra food within a second throat of sorts that they could then use like a gatling gun. Corn, bits of bread, and other such bird-related delicacies would get shredded into smaller parts and kept in reserve like spare ammunition. These packed the power of 9mm bullets, give or take, and would riddle mortals with holes if they weren't safely hidden away inside the buildings that were tough enough to prevent penetration of the walls and roof. As for cultivators who were even remotely tough, none of what the gulls could do actually really hurt or anything, they were just really damn hard to fight because of their natural ability to fly. How was anyone supposed to get way up in the sky and stop them? The first few times the seagulls struck the Federation, a mini plague had spread like wildfire and shutdown operations for months at a time (which was likely the gulls' goal from the get go), so these little shits had become public enemy number one, more so than even the twisted. They interrupted and dirtied business like a bunch of hoodlums with graffiti cans.... Though graffiti would be infinitely preferable compared to what the gulls were actually doo-dooing...

For the most part, the Federation had to just erect various defences and wait out the raid because the offensive means this ship packed were clunky in this current state. There were things the captain could do to get rid of these birds but it was extremely overkill so just defending with magic that could create roofs over the boats was the clearly superior option. Of course, if any transition realm cultivators were aboard then the Federation would reward them a decent chunk of stardust for going up into the clouds and sorting out the feathered fucks. And that about summed up the gulls!... Kinda... There were rumours that they were capable of suicide bombing and causing some real mania if they chose to but that had only ever been reported on once by some drunkard who could barely walk straight and claimed he once saw a gull kamikaze straight into a giant whale. Nobody knew if this were true or not and the Federation could only sincerely hope not. They'd done research into this and found nothing on the matter for years now so they were pretty convinced it was all just a hoax... That or the gulls were saving up their numbers for one big assault... Hopefully it wasn't the latter!

Anyway, Ares brought out the Biome Eagle and waited to pull the trigger until the first gull came into view. He was absolutely going to Voidwalk up there and beat them to death for extra moolah from the Federation but he was curious to test out the eagle from the Adaptive Shot and see how it could do under these circumstances. How did it fare in aerial combat against relatively weak creatures? If Ares loaded it with disintegration, or maybe water mana from ocean, would it be able to fly headfirst into the gulls and either disintegrate them or drown them? Ares was curious to see just how strong the bird could really be as he'd mostly used it as a diversion tactic up until now and, while that was certainly fine, he felt a little bad for the poor thing as it mostly just got summoned for the sole purpose of dying for Ares' convenience. Be it position swapping with nothingness or using annihilation for an explosive smokescreen, the eagle rarely got a chance to shine on its own and Ares felt it was high time he had some fun to! Though he would come to immediately regret this decision and lose any and all sympathy he had for the thing...

"Gulls spotted!" One of the nearby sailors working for the Federation yelled to his cohort and they all collectively started preparing their mana to summon thick walls that rose above all the important areas nearby. They could do it in advance but it was typically better to wait and see what was being targeted and prioritise defending that instead. The Federation had dealt with the gulls enough times now to know which methods got the best results so Ares didn't question it. Some of the Federation workers did fling various small magics, like Water Bullet or Fireball, upwards in a vain attempt to hit the pesky gulls but they were too high and nimble to care. Even if one of those magics were close to hitting then the seagulls would just take evasive manoeuvres and live to fight another day... But what if the magic could home? "Adaptive Shot!" Ares pulled the trigger on his gun and out came the same old eagle, this time coated in pure black disintegration, but there was something very different about this particular attempt at summoning the bird... It wasn't flying off in the direction Ares aimed it, it was instead just hovering nearby while clinging to a sign that was dangling beneath it, clasped in its talons. Ares raised an eyebrow and read the sign aloud with a somewhat confused voice as he almost couldn't believe the words he was seeing!

"I'm on strike..."

Strike? The fuck do you mean 'strike'? You can do that? I don't pay you to go on strike!... Actually, I don't pay you at all... Maybe that's why... Wasn't this something he joked about back during the international? About his summons going on strike because he didn't treat them right? Were they capable of reading his mind or something!? Actually.... What about Rox? Ares reached into the Primordial Blade and summoned the mimic only to see a very similar sight in that the same sign, with the same words written messily on it, was being clutched between Rox's jagged teeth. "I'm on strike... The hell you are! Get your lazy asses back to work right this instance! Eagle, go fetch the gulls. Rox... Actually, you aren't needed right now... Though you can deflect some bird poop for practice if you really want..." Rox stared blankly into Ares eyes as if to ask his owner if he were really, truly serious about that last request of his. This was the kinda reason they were on strike in the first place!

The summon duo stayed unmoving with the signs taunting Ares until he finally caved. "Fine... I did promise you guys some fatty tuna so, after this, I'll go and buy some for lunch..." When the duo's piercing stares continued, Ares realised he had to make further concessions... "Ok, twist my leg why don't you!? I won't keep summoning you guys to die or do menial labour all the time." The stares weren't quite gone yet but they appeared to be softening and fading so Ares dealt the final blow to get his lackeys all motivated again. "And I promise I'll look for expensive tuna. I won't cheap out and get you the crap stuff. We're talking restaurant quality and you can eat like its a buffet; naturally I'll be footing the bill for it all." And with this, the duo buckled as they looked at one another and nodded their heads. Rox went back into the Blade, as he was not interested in Ares' offer to become a poop deflector in the slightest, and the eagle got to work and flew up into the sky. About damn time! Ares kissed his teeth because these children were being fussy! They needed to grow up under harsh conditions, do some manual labour, and learn the hard way what life is all about! Who was the master here? Ares had spared Rox's life and he could just as easily abandon the Biome Hawk when he outgrew the artifact. They should be thanking him for his tyranny. not demanding better! Ah well, they'd been good to him and done their work due diligently up until now so he really couldn't complain too much. This was like a rebellious phase!

That aside, the eagle was already doing phenomenal work and tearing through the ranks of the gulls. It needed no manner of magical attack to beat them, all it had to do was fly right through them and its disintegration body would do all the hard work. The eagle even made sport out of the gulls by aiming specifically for their wings to make them crash down either into the ocean or on top of the boats below. Either way, it was a grim fate as the seagulls would either break their bodies on the Federation or drown under the water. This eagle really did have quite the mean streak when it was hunting prey! It's a good thing it wasn't secretly super duper powerful or anything as it might try and get revenge on Ares for being a slave driver of a master! As that wasn't the case, however, Ares was free to keep making unreasonable demands and mess with his bird. "Do a barrel roll!" Ares yelled at the sky but his eagle was starting to get fed up! He didn't wanna do no stinkin' barrel roll! That was it! This guy was gonna get it! The eagle swooped back down, landed on Ares' shoulder, and began pecking at him with a disintegration coated beak. "Ouch! You traitorous little...." Ares fumbled around to catch the bird and, eventually, after finally succeeding, began pecking it back to see how it liked it! Ares headbutt the eagle and the two had a back and forth pecking war while the gulls regrouped and continued to swarm the Federation. On the one hand, the officials of the Federation didn't want to get involved in the dispute between summoner and bird, but on the other hand...

"Uh, excuse me... Could you please keep helping us get rid of those gulls? It's kinda important...." One brave official stepped forth and spoke, earning the ire of both Ares and the eagle who were in the middle of settling their grudge. The two of them turned to face the official, the eagle couldn't twist its body as it was still within Ares' grasp but its head did tilt sideways, and stared into his soul. The man backed away because he had a wise gut feeling that if he stayed any longer the duo were about to both start pecking him in sync and he wasn't sure if he could live through that! Maybe it was better to just keep letting Ares to do his own thing... The gulls were already a big enough problem, the last thing the Federation needed right now was for these two doofuses to run amok and started smacking people with their heads! Fortunately, however, Ares realised this wasn't the time or place to be doing this so he opted to settle the score with the eagle later by putting him on the side for now and dealing with the gulls himself. "Watch and learn bird brain, this is how you properly clip a bird's wings! Remember it well 'cos one day I'mma do it to you to, fucko!"

The eagle stamped one of its talons on the wood of the boat underneath it in defiance but Ares had already taken off like a rocket and wasn't around to see this tiny gesture. As the eagle didn't want to follow orders, and comply by sitting around and watching Artes, it nose dived into the floor and killed itself so it could respawn! What the hell! And worse still, Ares was going to have to resummon it for tuna later after hand delivering it to him like some kind of man servant! Rox might have had some grievances here and there but at least he aired them out like a good boy and left quietly! This one was trouble! Of all the personalities to develop, Ares' magic just had to be stubborn like a mule... On the bright side, its intelligence would do wonders going forward but the downsides were also equally obvious... As in, if it couldn't be bothered for whatever reason, that eagle was not going to work!

Ares shook his head and ignored his own bird in favour of dealing with the poop troupe and their poop troops. They'd already started launching their excrement downwards and a rain of muddied white goop descended like small pebbles. The weaker people residing on the Federation had already been evacuated either to a safe boat, reinforced with steel all over that was used in conditions such as these like a panic bunker, or to a place protected by the sailors with their earthen and metal magic roofs. Still, that didn't mean the bombing run was pointless as the boats were being stained white and that same poop goop was acting like an acidic substance and melting away the hulls of the various ships, causing an annoying amount of damage that would be costly to fix if nothing stopped them soon. That was where Ares came in! "The Federation's constipation salvation has arrived! I aint' here to throw up deuces, I'm here to make sure you lot ain't droppin' any!" With his stupid toilet humour out of the way, Ares immediately got to work with a classic art from his collection as he stood on air, thanks to Voidwalk, in front of the squadron of gulls flying towards him.

"Grand Annihilation!"

Ares' art rippled through the air, replacing all the fluffy white clouds with rolling golden waves that engulfed the gull swarm, causing chaos amongst their now disorganised ranks. Retaliation was rare and so the gulls weren't exactly proficient at returning fire to defend themselves but that didn't mean they were complete lost causes as they could individually start targeting Ares with their food spewing attack! A group of five aerial combatants swopped around Ares, flying circles above, below, and to the side of him as they opened their yellow beaks in sync and commenced the firing squad tactic they used against other birds that entered their air space without permission. Now would such a thing be useful against Ares who's power dwarfed that of an ordinary bird's? Of course not! Ares kept a deflect up passively across multiple parts of his body, which was normally a difficult task but he managed it with finesse regardless thanks to all his training, and so the bullets were scattered to the wind without harming a hair on his chest. One lucky bullet flicked off Ares and hit an unlucky seagull nearby, piercing its wing and downing it as the bird spiralled down into the ocean below. Seeing the ineffectiveness of their current strategy, the group of birds retreated to join back up with what was left their original squadron after the Grand Annihilation from earlier. there were now only a hundred or so gulls remaining but that was still a decent amount that could spread their excrement far and wide if left unchecked. Ares readied himself to start slinging Grand Annihilations and physical pressure to take them out once and for all but he noticed something odd about the birds... Something that he himself recognised the meaning of in a heartbeat because mana was swirling around the gulls and being drained from the nearby air.

Much like Ares had done at the international, these lot were going to detonate their bodies! They really could do it! It must have required them to feel a sense of urgency and suffer a complete routing in order to push them this far but they were capable of flipping that switch and making this decision if they so deemed it necessary to forfeit their lives for the cause... Though all this did was make Ares mad! Here he thought he was being unique in coming up with a self-destruction mechanism but, at is it turned out, some dumb birds had beaten him to the punch! Unacceptable! People were gonna start calling him unoriginal and say he copied a bunch of damn seagulls at this rate! Ares wasn't having it so he decided to prevent word from spreading by killing these things before they could showcase this particular ability! "Not Even Light!" Just because Ares' implosion was borderline impossible to stop, that didn't mean the same was true of anyone else's! Ares' blackhole art was almost tailor made for this, as it was mana's worst nightmare, so one of two things happened amongst the ranks of the mana-swollen gulls and, either way, neither were good for them. Either A; the gulls were filled to the brim with mana and, thus, sucked into the blackhole where they disappeared forever or, B; they were only able to fill up on mana partially, because the mana they needed was being sucked away by the blackhole, so the suicide bomb was middling at best. In short, the birds disappeared into the art or they blew up in the sky like small firecrackers without causing too much of a scene because the mana to create a meaningful explosion simply wasn't present and thus their suicide bomb was activated prematurely and was also extremely weak. This was why you had to either have an affiliation for the destruction pillar or have everything planned out in advance when blowing yourself up otherwise it could all go horribly wrong! Ares' destruction magic would keep him safe from basically anything that tried to prevent his detonation but the same was not true of these vastly inferior gulls and so they basically made themselves a bunch of easy targets for Ares. Thankfully, this meant that nobody below would know these birds could even do this to begin with and that was for the best! Ares didn't want to be compared to a bird... This was a secret both he and that one drunkard could take to their graves!