Chapter 295: A Traditional Revenant Fairy Tale

Enyo had made the learned decision not to abandon mini Ares in the mornings anymore after what happened last time. Blo Blo's devilish tricks would no longer come to pass so Ares was safe from harm and could sleep in peace without concern as his guardian angel swatted away Satan's prying hands. Nothing of note really happened during this downtime other than Enyo finally deciding what exactly it was she wanted out of mini Ares for having cooked for everyone that one time a while back. Ares braced himself and Enyo revealed her desire.

"I want to replicate a certain something I once heard about..."

Ares narrowed his eyes at Enyo as he wasn't sure what she was referring to here. "Can you be more specific?"

Enyo shook her head side to side. "No but don't worry, you don't have to do anything difficult. I just want you to come with me and do as I say." Mini Ares was picked up like a lost child and brought over to the living room where he was plopped on top of the couch for now while Enyo went to go look for some other people. Ares had no idea what was gonna happen but he had a gut feeling it was going to be something silly... At the very least, whatever it was, it ought not to be too much of a hassle considering he didn't have to leave the house or go anywhere specific. Comparatively, Calla, who wanted to start dragging him all around Sheryashka for pictures at some point, was demanding way more! Although, in all fairness, at Calla's max speed, she could take Ares basically anywhere and everywhere on this planet in a matter of seconds so it wasn't going to be a particularly long process. In fact, she'd probably want to get it over and done with today after whatever Enyo wanted to do provided nothing unexpected cropped up. Speaking of Enyo, she walked back into the room with a small piece of cloth and told Ares to close his eyes. He obeyed as Enyo wrapped the cloth around his eyes, turning it into a blindfold... Had Calla been the one getting what she wanted here then Ares would have been expecting a surprise party of some kind. She absolutely would have wanted pictures of mini Ares blowing out candles or something along those lines. He had a birthday recently and so she was probably content with that, though.

Snap

... Although clearly blindfolded mini Ares was apparently worth snapping up as well? Ares didn't question it. Compared to some of the other stuff they could have made him do, this was pretty tame... But it definitely wasn't over yet. There was definitely more to this situation than just this!

Shing

Shing? Like the drawing of a sword?! Was this an execution?! Ares shook his head as that couldn't have possibly been it. The noise was really high pitched but it could have been anything and Ares was only going to find out after this whole thing was said and done so he patiently awaited his next orders.

"Ok, now stand up and start running forward."

Ares heard Enyo's voice come from a short distance away. Based on the shape of the living room, she was directly in front of him and about, what, seven or eight steps away? If he got off the couch and ran forward he would reach her in a few seconds at most. What on earth was this woman planning? Whatever it was, there were clearly spectators as Ares could hear some giggling from amused spectators. Plus the camera snap had given Calla's presence away earlier at the very least although she would inevitably show up for anything involving mini Ares anyway. Ares didn't know what kind of show he was putting on for his spectators here but he wouldn't let them down! He got up and something felt strange about the floor underneath him but he didn't have much time to react as he'd already been in motion to keep sprinting forward. He hadn't expected this unnatural change and so he was hit full force by the oddity at his feet and caught completely off guard. He managed to stumble forward with one step and keep himself upright but that was only delaying the inevitable as he realised that the strange sensation on the floor, whatever it was, was making his immediate surroundings slippery!

Too little a realisation, far too late and, before he could stop himself, Ares had fallen flat on his face and was sliding slowly forward on his stomach. As he drifted along the ground, he removed his blindfold and took in the icy floor beneath him. Appa must have been the culprit behind this! Ares looked up only to see Enyo, Calla, Bellona, Allie, Trixie, and Appa all staring down at him with laughter creeping up behind their smiles. Ares knew what this was! 'Betrayal is a slippery slope!' Of all the damn things to remember it had to be this?! Enyo seriously remembered the story Aejaz told her about Ares slipping on ice when he was a child and pouting for a week straight until it went away?! She wanted to recreate it now of all times?! Ares didn't even do it intentionally but he couldn't stop his face from forming a cute little pout as the realisation hit him like a ton of bricks. The moody face wasn't a direct result of the ice this time but it was the exact face everyone had been looking for so they were incredibly content at having successfully created a one for one copy of the original scene.

Snap Snap Snap

Many pictures were taken and many giggles burrowed into Ares' ears as he lay there in unmoving misery. The worst part was that even if he got up he would probably still struggle. Sure his older self knew the footwork necessary to move around relatively freely on such a surface but how was he supposed to copy that as a child?! The size of his body, feet, and the length of his legs were all different so he'd probably just keep tripping over and over again! He'd been embarrassed once already and didn't need to exacerbate the issue! These demonic women had already gotten what they came for so they could enjoy it all they wanted to because they weren't getting any more out of him! Ares would like here until the ice thawed if he had to!... Though his stubbornness just looked like a child in their rebellious phase being grumpy and brought out even more chuckling. There was no winning so Ares stuck to his guns and lay on the ice like it was his new bed!

...

...

Achoo!

Aw shit. Ares bemoaned his fate as a sneeze was a horrible sign he was basically destined to become ill. Cultivators sneezing was a rare occurrence to begin with but, throw in the fact that it been raining back during the tournament for an extended period, as well as the icy floor here, and he was probably doomed. His cultivation base was low currently so such a risk did exist and it looked like he just so happened to get the short end of the stick. This damn prank had made him catch a cold! Bullying with chemical warfare! Whatever, it hadn't been on purpose and this would be hard to predict so he didn't blame them... But he did want to be picked up and taken care of! He was already starting to feel woozy and weak, like that sneeze had drained him of all his energy, and there was nothing he could do about it in this mini form. Ares hated being this vulnerable, it sucked! Thankfully the sneeze had given his current state away so Calla was quick to swipe up her ill cub and rush him to a bed, tucking him in as she went to go make him some of her special hot chocolate. It would help heal him quickly and he ought to be right as the rain that poured on his head, leading to this situation, in a day or two at most. Until then, he got to relax in bed and not do anything so it was worth it in that regard, at least! He couldn't be bullied anymore now that he had a condition these evil women had to respect! Blo Blo specially! Maybe this was a good thing? Sure the cold was unpleasant but Ares still had a tiny bit of cultivation currently at least and that made it much easier to bear. As his cultivation would keep rising over the course of the next few days it would only get easier and easier for him too. Maybe he should get ill more often! Being able to laze about was nice!... Although he wouldn't be able to cook like this unless someone constantly supplied him with mana to do so in his Primordial Blade... Someone else was going to have to do it or everyone was going to have to go get some food from outside. Oh well, their problem not his!

Calla returned and placed her tail on Ares' head to check his temperature before sitting him up and placing the hot chocolate on the bed side cabinet for him to drink. He slowly sipped away and he could feel his health recover somewhat with every bit of warm, chocolaty, velvety-smooth goodness that slithered own his throat. Safe to say he was particularly content with the drink and the worst part was when it ran out. Ares slunk back into the bed and covered himself fully while Calla clapped her hands together, startling him.

Clap

Ares turned to face Calla out of curiosity and she was sitting upright in her chair and clearing her throat for some reason...

"Time for a bed time story!"

A what now? Ares was still not a child damn it!... Although he had just been chucked in bed and given hot chocolate / medicine by his mother... But still! It was way too early for someone of his mental age to be going to bed! He hadn't even eaten dinner yet! Although, to be fair regarding that last point, the hot chocolate was rather filling thanks to Calla's special ingredient. Those cocoa beans were seriously incredible and cured most ailments, something as menial as hunger included, so Ares wasn't even feeling remotely peckish... But it was still bright out and he wasn't tired!... Ok, now he actually sounded like a child... Ares groaned and resigned himself to this fate. Even if he said no Calla would just use her tail to trap him to the bed like it was some kind of straight jacket and force him to go along with this anyway. She might even lightly poison him to prevent him from getting up and running away, this fluffy matriarch meant business...

"This one's a classic and every revenant parent knows it. All our children are told this story at least once growing up!"

He wasn't growing up! He was a grown man!... Ah whatever, Ares couldn't oppose her so he just lay in bed and listened like a good cub.

"It's called 'Tortoise and Hare Don't Play Fair'."

What, like the original story of the tortoise and the hare? The one where they race and the hare falls asleep so the tortoise wins in the end? Why do I think this isn't going to be a one for one retelling of that story? Ares had a gut feeling this was going to be a bit out there compared to the original fairy tale but he was already along for the ride regardless so he figured he might as well see what kind of bed time stories revenant children were being lullabied to sleep with back on the home planet. Calla wriggled in her seat, got comfy, and began.

"After every race Hare won he would throw a banquet for creatures of the wood but there was one thing he never quite understood. Hare invited everyone, from Ms. Snake to Mr. Crow, and, yet, Mr. Tortoise was always a no-show. It's a shame, thought Hare, that Mr. Tortoise had never tried his cooking that could satiate even picky Mr. Bear. "But I swear, I swear one day Mr. Tortoise will experience my hospitality and care," mused Hare.

It was then that knocking could be heard from Hare's front door. Sure as sure It was Mr. Tortoise who stood before Hare and peered with disdain at the décor.

"Come in for once," cried Hare, "I'll give you the grand tour." 

"Sounds like a chore," Mr. Tortoise retorted, "I'll stick to the ground floor, my business with you is this conversation and nothing more." 

Hare queried, "You won't partake in my banquet?" 

"No," replied Mr. Tortoise. "Your banquet? I can't stand it! Nor can I stand the way you grandstand about being considered the fastest in the land under the guise of throwing banquets for greedy gourmands." 

"So what do you have planned?" Hare was curious. 

"A race, my only demand!" Mr. Tortoise was furious. "Tomorrow at the dawn of dusk I shall leave you in my dust," snapped Mr. Tortoise. 

"Fine," said Hare, "But you won't be a no-show for once, I trust?" 

Mr. Tortoise stormed off in a fit of silent rage as the animals of the wood parted ways to set the stage.

-----------

The very next day, the stage was set.

When dusk dawned, Mr. Tortoise and Hare met. 

"Ready to lose?" asked Mr. Tortoise. 

To which Hare replied, "What I'm about to suggest is for you to choose but, if you're so confident, how about a wager!?" He cried!

"I'll listen to what it is you have to say," Mr. Tortoise replied with an attitude most snide, entertaining the suggestion.

"If I win, you'll be the star of the show at my next banquet for an entire day! If I lose, I'll never cook again. Those are the specifics of the bet in question."

Mr. Tortoise's interest was piqued by the bet. "You bet but let me be clear, no cooking for as long as you live, not just for a day, not for a week, not a month, not a year. Don't ever forget." 

The two contenders lined up for the start of the race and, after a lengthy countdown from Mr Sloth, it began. Hare ran, taking off at his usual, blistering pace. Mr. Tortoise's sluggishness, however, had cemented him in second place... But he had a plan. As Hare ran and ran, he would be done in by his short attention span! 

Hare barrelled by Mr. Beaver's abode at breakneck speed. Hare didn't underestimate Mr. Tortoise, so he kept making haste to maintain a sizable lead but he was moving far too fast. Too fast to avoid Mr. Tortoise's trap, a pitfall ever so vast. Into it he fell. After half an hour of trying to escape, Hare thought up a clever idea just as he heard a mocking call and spotted above him the tip of a shell. 

Mr. Tortoise leaned over the edge fully and sneered. "Well well well, looks like I'll be the winner, and you'll be the fool," he Jeered. 

Hare would never escape on his own, he wasn't particularly tall, so instead, he threw a rock at Mr. Tortoise's head, causing him to fall. After a messy fight consisting of biting and scratching Hare, the supposed 'fool', emerged victorious, separating Mr. Tortoise from his shell and using it as a stepping stool. 

"It seems, Mr. Tortoise, you are the true fool and shall be attending my banquet after all." 

"I shan't, I refuse!'' Mr. Tortoise squealed in a whiny voice.

"Oh, but Mr. Tortoise, you no longer have a choice." 

-----------

The banquet was far more exquisite, thanks to the main dish which was the star of the show, than any Hare had thrown before. With many a cry of, "Please Hare, may I have some more," all was perfect, except for one thing that bothered Hare to his very core. 

"It's a shame," Hare spoke to the woodland group, "I will likely never get another chance to cook turtle soup."

The end!"

...

...

...

WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?! Ares screamed internally. He didn't want to be outwardly rude to his mother who looked very pleased with herself for orating that story like a true expert but... This variation is definitely not kid friendly! Did she want to tuck me in or give me nightmares?! This was a revenant 'tradition'?!... Are we the baddies?!... Now that I think about it, this sounds like the exact kind of thing revenants would do... If this is how we mess with our young, maybe our planet should actually just blow up after all? Ares was a tad concerned about the kind of crap the revenant parents were humming to their children as they turned the lights off but that was a problem he could worry about another time as he was feeling a tad sleepy right now... He wasn't a child but he was about to doze off like one...

Snap

Aaaaaand he was awake again! Ares knew Calla wanted pictures of him but even when he was ill?! Or maybe it was because he was ill? Or sleepy? It could seriously be anything with this woman... Anyway, her plans to take Ares around the world and take pictures with him was going to have to be put on hold temporarily while Ares recovered. Though, really, this was just going to give her more time to consider exactly where she wanted to take him... Ares could worry about that some other time as he was falling asleep again and this time it seemed like Calla was going to let him. Having taken a photo of her cub as he was getting some shut eye, after she read him a bedtime story, was her goal and she'd achieved it perfectly so she snuck out of the room and went to go scavenge for some meat to chomp on. In the end, everyone decided to go out and eat at Scratch's place and they enjoyed a nice dinner together, chatting away about this and that. They returned home and everybody went to sleep early in preparation for getting up early tomorrow as it would be time to go watch Eagerton's match and see if the sect could pull off two wins in the same tournament. Unfortunately there was nobody notable in the inner court to make it a hat trick but two out of three was still spectacular in its own right, especially when considering the fact that the sect had never won before at all prior. As for Ares... He would want to go but being ill as he was complicated matters. On the bright side, he had his Scaled Insulator and Calla's fluffy tail / hot chocolates to keep him warm but having him be outside wasn't ideal regardless... Although nobody could really stop him. He was a devious mini revenant and would come up with a way to escape the sect and go watch on his own if he had to. At that point it was better to just take him with them and make sure somebody kept an eye on him the whole time. Dragging him back if his condition worsened was an option but it ought not to be relevant. The match was predictively going to be over fast so Calla could bring mini Ares back home in a matter of seconds when it was done.

Morning came and Enyo and Bellona got up to go make breakfast while mini Ares was still asleep. They knew that if he woke up he would want to go and do it himself but they did feel at least partially responsible for his current state and felt it would be for the best to take on some of his minor burdens. He was already looking way better though, thanks to Calla's drinks and his own regeneration, so if he really wanted to cook later on then they wouldn't halt him in his tracks (although Calla still might), instead just opting to watch over him and make sure he didn't drop anything or injure himself. They'd been made aware of his attempt to carry everything when Yulo was around and didn't want a repeat even if it was primarily his careless brother's fault. Ares was still a wee lad right now, which was ironic considering the one time it would have been applicable Dabble wasn't here to call him that, so it was best to prevent him from suffering any pointless injuries that could be easily avoided. This mostly stemmed from the fact that hurting mini Ares, or letting him accidentally injure himself, felt like the equivalent of stepping on a pet's tail. Even now Enyo still felt guilty for pushing Ares' health too far and making him ill. She'd already apologised for it yesterday but it did gnaw away at her a little.

Fortunately Ares' cold really was a small issue, so much so that Allie didn't even need to concoct him any pills of any kind, and nobody really blamed Enyo either. It was a stroke of bad luck and it was pretty impossible to avoid getting ill in the cultivation world anyway. Sure things like the flu and colds were pretty easy to avoid, and most cultivators rarely suffered from it after a certain point, but there were definitely other illnesses out there that affected cultivators hard. Those required specific medicines to combat usually and were way worse than this as they plagued a person's mana typically, corrupting their insides and rotting away at the root of their cultivation. This was the painful stuff that cultivators had to look out for and really avoid as it could even wind up being fatal in some cases. Comparatively a flu or cold was just whatever, a huge nothingburger. One of these deadlier illnesses could knock out a cultivator cold for a few hundred years at a time! Thankfully they weren't so easily transmitted, however, and you'd know you'd picked it up on the spot because the requirements to contract such illnesses in the first place were usually really specific; it involved mostly eating toxic plants or entering dangerous climates with putrid and rotten mana rife in the air.

Anyway, morning came and went and it was time for the match to start. Everyone else had left but Ares and Calla were still at home as she could bring him there in a moment's notice. Calla was keeping an eye on the coliseum from here with her astounding divine sense and would take mini Ares on a quick flight as soon as the horn blew for the start of the fight. Ares already had his treasure on and it had shrunk down in size quite nicely to fit on him properly. If the Scaled Insulator remained at its normal size then Ares would be able to sit inside the thing and be fully covered which, actually, wasn't a terrible idea but, unfortunately, he wouldn't be able to see. He could maybe try and turn himself into a Scaled cocoon and have his head poke out but it wasn't worth the hassle and this ought to be acceptable for now.

Ares was minding his own business in bed one second but, as soon as he blinked, he could now feel the biting winds of today's fresh air and hear a raucous crowd all around. Calla had brought him to the top floor of the coliseum, a place he'd never had a chance to kick back and relax in as of yet, and he was in a good position to watch the peerless penman's final match of the tournament and see his prowess. Ares didn't know if this guy would stick around for good or not in the sect in the long run... Edgerton might based on what Ares had heard as he really liked the vibe of Musicians Wanted and wouldn't give it up for love nor money. As for Eagerton... honestly it depended on how long Ares himself could hold the guy's interest. Ares had no say in the matter but he was still currently Eagerton's muse and the guy had shown up to every single one of his matches when possible (whenever it didn't conflict with the schedules for his own matches). The guy really valued Ares' destruction magic so he would stick around just for that but there was no telling when he might get bored and up and leave. Especially after leaving the Primordial Barrier as the outside world would be vast enough to pique the artiste's sense of exploration and intrigue at the undiscovered bounties of imagination-expounding potential. So many new worlds and people awaited him so he may just disappear with nothing more than a poetic toodaloo scribbled on a scrappy note. Then again he might also do as such then return afterwards to get more of Ares' magic penned down in his notes, kind of like feeding a stray animal that returned to you every couple of weeks. Either way, keeping him around was good if Ares could manage it but he wanted to see what the guy could do in a fight. This one didn't seem like it would push him too hard but oh well, such a perfect opportunity would be hard to come by and this would have to suffice!