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The Wandering Calamity

It’s not everyday the universe needs saving, and it’s certainly not everyday someone like Ares is tasked to save it. Born with unique ‘destruction’ magic, Ares, a young man bursting with character (despite his propensity to annoy), has his work cut out for him as he, alongside five others with unique magic, must set out to prevent the end of all existence. Will he succeed? Or will his obsession with blowing things up simply speed up the process? Follow along in Ares’ adventures through bizarre worlds rife with magical mayhem, fierce fights, colourful characters, and plenty of perilous plots. This is an arc by arc fantasy romp that you probably won’t want to miss, regardless of whether you’re familiar with cultivation or not. All are welcome to witness Ares, ‘the wandering calamity’ himself, go on this long and exciting journey fraught with chaos… Even if he’s the one responsible for most of it.

TWC_Guy · Fantasía
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364 Chs

Chapter 112: Q&A Session in Casa Del Ares Reveals All

Dusting himself off and shoving the rubble to the side, Ares stood up and stealthily went into the kitchen to start preparing snacks. The Appa into hospitality true combo would net him a sure-fire win so he just needed to stick the landing. No matter the questions he was asked, no matter how savagely she quizzed him, he would come out on top! He'd practiced this in his head for days on end because he really believed making a good first impression was pivotal against someone like Rhea. An overbearing mother who was hard to please and had a difficult time comprehending the idea of 'giving away' one's children. Ares had to pull out all the stops here!

In order to get the ball rolling, the first order of business was the warm and fluffy cookies he'd been baking ever since left to go get groceries. He hadn't expected Rhea to show up today but this worked out like a charm as he'd been in the middle of making something that was absolutely perfect for this situation. He whipped them out of the Primordial Blade, put them on a tray, and brought them all out into living room. Rhea had sat on the couch and was tickling Appa so Ares didn't disturb her as he placed the cookies on the table and went back into the kitchen to bring out the coffee he'd made for her. He had joked earlier about offering her some but, thanks to asking Enyo in advance, he knew that she was partial to coffee more than any other drinks he had to offer. Three sugars were what it took for Rhea to be accepting of coffee, though, and really alcohol would have been ideal. Still, there was no way in hell Ares was giving anyone cookies and beer. That was insanity and he would rather just die on the spot. He wasn't going to search for a reason or an excuse to get her drunk, he would make do with what he had. He placed the coffee on the table and went around asking what everybody else wanted as the other five Legion members had all come into the house to watch the spectacle unfold. Well that was why Charity and Gladius were here anyway. Sadie probably just wanted more food; at least that was what she gave to understand when she started gobbling up the cookies. Aejaz had poked his head around the corner and stolen two cookies, one for himself and one for Allie, before retreating to his safe room away from the scary lady on the sofa. Aejaz didn't dare try to steal from Rhea twice. One dance with death was enough for the day, thank you very much!

Ares brought in a round of drinks and seated himself opposite the mother and daughter trio and Rhea begrudgingly stopped playing with Appa. She didn't give Appa up entirely though and placed it firmly on her lap and hugged it from behind. Enyo was happy to see this and her heart felt all tingly at the sight of her mother taking a liking to her daughter. Enyo also caught sight of Bellona nibbling away at her nails and Enyo rolled her eyes before sending a mental message to Rhea. [Bellona thinks he doesn't know that she likes him. He does but don't mention it. Bellona's nervy about the whole thing, plus it's just funnier this way.]

Rhea scoffed and just shook her head. She was incredibly tempted to just spit it out here and now and throw Bellona on this guy's lap to show how little she cared. In the end she didn't follow through though as it wasn't her love life and she wasn't going to interject unless things were really just not going anywhere. As long as they were at least aware then whatever, she didn't care. Her main issue was whether he was suitable or not, anything they did after was up to them. Rhea ate a cookie, ate another one after because they were annoyingly good, and then started the conversation / interrogation. "Do you love Enyo wholeheartedly?"

"No."

Rhea almost bust a nerve but calmed herself down because she acknowledged she was chatting with a revenant here and things would never be straightforward. "Why not?"

"I've been cutting out pieces of my heart recently to experiment with something, so my whole heart isn't really available right now, I guess?"

"Congratulations, it's only been ten seconds and I already want to cut your tongue out."

"Please don't. Your daughter happens to really quite like that part of me."

"Ugh. Look, I get it, you're annoying. Can we please have a normal discussion from here on? This is important so stop being a nuisance already."

Ares scratched his head and sighed. Losing his ability to poke fun was a rough blow but he would soldier on in the face of adversity! "Alright, I understand. Then yes, I do love you daughter wholeheartedly. With every fibre of my being, in fact."

"I heard through the grapevine you'd be willing to take on more than one wife so can you care to explain to me how that happened? Are you saying you can love two women wholeheartedly at the same time, because that sounds impossible to me."

"Two?... Try nine..."

"Excuse me? Are you messing with me again?! That's it! I do not approve of this philanderer Enyo! You can do better than a freak who wants nine women!"

"Uh... I'm not the freak that wants nine women though? She is." Ares pointed at Enyo with a wry smile. "I really didn't have as much of a say in this as you seem to think I did. I'm honest to God just along for the ride on this matter."

"I... Impossible! Enyo! Don't just lay down and let this man roll over you! be firm and deny his incessant lust! I can understand why you'd let him have two given the circumstances, but NINE?"

Enyo tilted her head and looked at her mother with a confused face. "But it really was me that made him do it?"

"... What?"

"It was me. The sect master is a really reliable prophet, thanks to his magic, and so I was curious to see what the future would hold for us. I already knew deep down I wouldn't be the only one and I'm fine with the prophesized nine. Actually I'm more than 'fine', I'm the one who encouraged it and he's the one that fought against it. I want to have a bigger family. I don't want anyone that loves Ares to the extent I do to be turned away and, most importantly of all, I also want to play with the other wives. How could I possibly deny myself all the fun I could have with them in the bedroom?! Sex is great, you know?"

Ack

Rhea very nearly choked on her coffee as she did a spit take. She made sure to shield Appa from the spilled coffee which everyone else appreciated. "Are you serious?! What on earth has gotten into you... Actually, don't answer that question please, the way you are now you'll probably think that was a double entendre…" Rhea sighed and put her hand on her head. "So you've already done it, then?"

Enyo tilted her head yet again. "No? We've not gone all the way yet. That'll happen very soon but right now we're just having fun in other ways."

"Ok Ok, I don't need that kind of information thank you very much. Jesus. When I heard you'd changed, I didn't think it was to this extent... You're basically a different woman entirely!... But I mean are you sure about the multiple wives thing, Enyo? Like really sure? Men are fickle creatures and there's no guarantee he'll keep you in his heart if you go down this route..."

"He will. It's not blind optimism, mum, I know he will because I've already left my mark on him and there's no way for him to get rid of it. I assure you he won't forget me no matter what. Also, I trust him."

"Blind faith..." Rhea looked up at the ceiling and muttered under her breath that she 'wasn't one to talk'. She looked back down at Ares. "Can you promise me you won't abandon her?"

Ares put down his own drink, looked Rhea straight in the eye, and responded convincingly with certainty. "It will never happen. I'm making this clear here and now that I would sooner abandon all eight other wives, whoever they may be, rather than ever hurt Enyo in any way. Enyo is my priority now and always. If I ever feel like having multiple wives interferes with that in whatever way then I will not hesitate to call this whole thing off. I understand your caution Rhea but I assure you no one is more wary of this situation than I am."

"... I see. For now I'll apologise to you. It seems I should have been demanding answers from my braindead daughter on this matter instead. I'll pester her for more information on that later, for now though I'm not quite done with you. What do you plan on doing with your life going forward? I'm aware this is a hard question what with the whole war thing but I'm interested in your answer. Do you plan on cultivating? Do you want to become a chef? What are your goals?"

"You know Mako, right?"

"I do. What of it?"

"I have a fundamental pillar just like he does."

"Is that true?! I knew there were six of them but I never thought there would be another somewhere inside this bottled-off segment of domains... And to think it would be so close to home... And a revenant no less. That's quite troubling... I have to ask you about your stance on the war now, it can't be ignored. Also, after, could you explain your pillar to me? I'm very interested in the fundamental pillars."

"Sure. I have no interest in the war. I think it should be ended and no action I take regarding the war will ever be for the advancement of any other purpose. Naturally I have my task, and that obviously takes precedence, but I also have every intention of poking my head around the war and seeing what I can do to quell the bloodshed where possible. The fundamental pillars are incredible things and I believe that, thanks to mine, I have the tools necessary to make a difference so that is my goal... Or one of them at least. It's not the most pressing item on my agenda as there's little I can do right this instance towards that goal but it is there and something I plan on dealing with before I venture further abroad than Vraizon."

"The tools to make it happen, huh. I've seen, to some extent, what the fundamental pillars do and how they break various rules... Which one of the six do you possess?"

"Destruction. Even amongst the fundamental pillars it's pretty unique. If the fundamental pillars were ranked in terms of pure output and power, destruction sits uncontested at number one. It's undoubtedly brutish but it does work."

"Destruction... Although I'm curious to see it, that can wait for later. You said you had more than one goal, what are the others?"

"Raise my cultivation, explore the world, save the world, keep my family happy no matter the cost, make bigger explosions. That about sums up the miscellaneous stuff. If I had to pick one goal that I'm currently focussed on... I suppose I'd like to learn more about my family? I guess? There'll supposedly be a bunch of revenants attending the international so I was hoping I could ask around and maybe figure something out."

"That was something I wanted to ask you about. I want to know who you're parents are. If they're hardliners it might complicate things somewhat. Then again, provided you aren't dead set on following anyone else's wishes it could also not be relevant at all. Still it's safer to have a rough idea so can you tell me? Or rather, what do you mean you want to learn more about them?"

"Well I mean I have no idea who the hell they are to begin with. As much as I'd love to answer your questions, I didn't even know I was a revenant up until around a month ago let alone what they even were. I'm completely in the dark here."

"How is that even possible?... Were you abandoned as a child?"

"No, but I did 'die' the day I was born. There's nothing else for me to go by so I just have to grasp at straws and go around asking. Then again, I do have this treasure that belonged to my clan, so that might make getting to the bottom of things easier." Ares pensively rested his chin on his thumb and stroked the side of his cheek with his index finger. He was trying to figure out how he was going to approach his clan members to get information during the tournament but he was taken aback when he saw Rhea's reaction to his previous statements. She was quivering with a wide open jaw and stammering as her wobbly finger pointed at him. Her head was leaning slightly back as if she were trying to escape some kind of problem and her irises were shakily darting back and forth.

CAPE?! CLAN TREASAURE?! STYGIAN ZEPHYR?! DIED AT BIRTH?! Rhea swallowed her built up saliva and nervously asked the question to end all questions... "Y... Y... You... What... What is... What is your... Name? Name? What is it?! What is your name?!"

"Hm? Oh, you know, it's funny you mention that..."

I DON'T CARE IF ITS FUNNY! ANSWER THE DAMN QUESTION!

"...All of your children are named after Gods and Goddesses, no?"

WHO BLOODY CARES? ANSWER THE DAMN QUESTION YOU BASTARD!

"... Ha, in that case I'll fit right in!"

NONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONO

"... 'Cos after all..."

OHFUCKINGSONOFABITCHABOVEITREALLYFUCKINGISTHISSTUPIDCUNTI'MGOINGTOBETIEDTOTHEHIPWITHTHATDAMNABLECOCKROACHCALLAANDIFSHEEVERFINDSOUTIINTERVIEWEDHERSONSHE'LLNEVERLETMEGOI'LLBETORTUREDTODEATHFORHAVINGTHENERVETOJUDGEHERCHILDOHSWEETCHRISTI'MHAPPYFORHERBUTTHISISFUCKEDFORMEDAMNITANDI'MLOSINGTWODAUGHTERSTOTHATSTUPIDWOMANANDOHDEARGODBELLONAINEEDTOTELLBELLONATHATTHISISAWKWARDASHELLFORHERBUTIT'SALSOKINDAGREATFORMENOWMAYBEICANSEEASTERAGAINYIPPEEBUTALSOFUCKTHISISCOMPLICATEDDAMNIT

"... My name is Ares."

Rhea collapsed sideways onto Enyo's lap and fainted. Appa giggled and poked Rhea's nose as everyone else wrapped their head around the unconscious Legion clan matriarch.

Ares grinned smugly and leaned back in his seat with his arms resting behind his head. "Heh, it seems my reputation precedes me."

"You wish you dumb mutt! The hell did you do to our mother?!" Bellona waved her fist angrily at Ares who'd just RKO'd her mother somehow.

"I really have no idea. Perhaps we should wake her up and find out?"

Sadie leant over the sofa and took joy in roughly poking the demon awake. Of course the second Rhea showed signs of life she panicked and ducked behind cover to avoid detection.

Rhea got up and rubbed her eyes while tapping her finger against the table. She ate another cookie and drunk her coffee to calm herself down but every time she looked up at Ares she wanted to scream. She managed to put aside all the worries for now and explain. "You. Have you heard the name Calla before?"

"Uh, briefly, yes. She's the matriarch of the Umbra Wolves if I'm remembering correctly."

"Yeah, that too. She's also your mother."

"What?" Sadie and co were more taken aback by this than Ares. "Impossible! Calla only has five children!"

"That's just what everyone other than the matriarchs and patriarchs know. Eighteen years ago Calla was due to give birth. She'd kept it a secret for the most part because tensions were high amidst the clans and she was hesitant to let word spread. She did tell her friends, the other three matriarchs including me, though. When the specific due date was given I was pretty excited and chatted with Margaret and Serene about it over a communication talisman... That was my mistake. Major overheard and decided to be a massive piece of shit as per usual. Our relationship had been at rock bottom to begin with by this point but what he did next is the reason we don't speak to each other anymore. You see, when a female cultivator gives birth they're significantly weakened for a long period of time. Major wanted to use this to launch a large scale invasion against the Umbra Wolves while Calla was weak. Ares, your birth was supposed to be a happy occasion but it was ruined by that one idiot and, for that, I'm sorry because I'm also partly to blame for my carelessness. Your mother gave birth successfully while the other matriarchs, myself included, went to go and try stop things on the front lines but Major had snuck around with an elite group. Calla and Aster, your father, didn't think they'd make it out alive so they opted to complete the resurrection ritual that put you in Sheryashka for your sake. When I realised what was happening I made it back in time to keep them alive but I was too late to help you as you were already gone by that point. From then on Calla always went a bit loopy at that time of the year and started taking revenge on everyone who was part of the attack. It took her a long while to forgive me. We spoke a couple of times, and something pretty important that I need to talk to Bellona about happened a month after the incident, but she never really treated me like normal again until about ten years later. Even now she still frequently gets catty with me because of it. I really don't blame her and I would have been furious too, so I understand the lingering resentment. Still, I'm glad to have found you at least. She'll be seriously over the moon to have you back... Although you should prepare yourself. She's quite overwhelming and gets really attached to her children. I don't think she'll leave you alone the second she sniffs you out. Also... I have no issues with you being in a relationship with Enyo... I mean you seem alright and you've done good by her... But more than anything if I say no Calla will beat me to death... So you lucked out in that sense... I've peppered you with questions but its only right I let you ask away now because I'm sure you must have loads. Before that, though, I ought to tell Bellona what I need to. Think about your questions for a minute."

Rhea turned to Bellona and kissed her on the forehead. "I don't know if you'll be incredibly pleased or incredibly upset about this but I think you should know regardless. It's especially relevant now too... So listen up." Rhea created a mental connection between her, Bellona, Enyo, and Sadie before talking about what was on her mind. As her explanation continued, Bellona's face twisted into various expressions that Ares found amusing. He was a tad worried for a bit near the middle when he saw her look somewhat depressed but, by the end of it, she was actually far happier than he'd ever seen her before. Whatever it was, she seemed to have come to terms with it quite rapidly. Considering the fact she'd been this close to crying not even a minute ago during the explanation, this was a far better outcome. Enyo's reaction was interesting too because she was giving her mother a stare so flat it might as well have been Bellona's chest. Even Rhea felt somewhat sheepish when confronted directly by Enyo like this.

"Mother, what was it you were telling me earlier? Would you care to explain yourself!?" Enyo sounded a tad peeved and Ares could tell it was because there was some form of hypocrisy at foot. Still, it wasn't his place to pry so he didn't ask. If Enyo told him what was happening after then so be it. If she didn't then that was fine too.

Rhea's face was blushed as her hands darted for another cookie. "Look, it is what it is. It happened... And will maybe happen again... BUT THAT DOESN'T MATTER RIGHT NOW!" Rhea shoved the cookie inside Enyo's gob and turned to Bellona. "You're really not upset? I'd understand if you were. You can be honest with me, you know?"

Bellona shook her head and leaned on her mother. "No. Why would I be upset about this? I can't deny it's awkward but it's already in motion. It doesn't change what I think or what I plan to do and, overall, I'd say it's a net positive. It caused me problems but it also means I'm free from those same problems now... Ha, turns out Dominus was right. I'm surprised he could see it so easily."

"Dominus?! Where the hell did that name come from?"

"Ah, he's currently living inside Ares. He jumps out every now and then to kick our asses before he goes back into hiding. It's a long story."

"Yeah, well, I have a lot of free time... Ares, ask your questions first. I'll ask about your pillar and Dominus after. Seriously, you're a real bundle of baggage..."

"Gee, thanks. Anyways. I've heard a decent amount about my mother, enough to get a rough picture anyway, but what kind of person is my father?"

Rhea's mouth twitched and Enyo nudged her with a smirk. "He's a kind hearted person at his core but you have to deal with all sorts of excess bullshit to get to that point. Outwardly he's insufferable, likes to beat up his sons under the guise of 'sparring', difficult to keep track of because he's always Blinking around at his own pace, and he thinks he's the greatest thing since the invention of the wheel. Beyond that, though, he's a family man through and through and probably more devastated by the loss of you than your mother. He looked stoic and kept up appearances to comfort Calla but it was painfully obvious he was furious and wanted nothing more than to tear Major in half. There are no lengths he wouldn't go to for his peoples' safety and comfort. He can be funny in a real dorkish way sometimes and he's a really strong cultivator. Looks wise, you actually reminded me of him when I first saw you. If you bulked up you'd be his spitting image for sure. Of all his sons, you bear the closest resemblance now that I get a good look at you."

"Well I'm an adept so I'll have to shelve the idea of bulking up for now..."

"Ah, so is your mother by the way. Speed trait, so good luck running away from her."

"Huh, the more you know... Ok, question number two. Honestly, will who, and what, I am cause problems going forward with the Legion clan? I need to know so I can try to plan around it. If the Legion clan thinks I'm someone that can't be ignored due to my fundamental pillar, and are going to cause issues, I'd like to know beforehand. I've got big plans for the future and this is pretty important."

"That's tough to say for certain. I have authority but I don't control a majority of the clan, and so I don't have as much of a say as I'd like, but what looks bad looks bad. We're familiar with the duties of the fundamental champions at least and convincing the majority of the Legions to go along with hassling you would be nigh impossible. Only diehard revenant detesters would ever even consider it. That's still quite a fair few people in the grand scheme of things, though, so the answer to your question is not a definite no. I wouldn't be paranoid, if I were you, but I would be cautious when running around Vraizon as a safety measure just in case."

"Thank you. Question three. Why is my name Ares? Normally I wouldn't ask this but after learning how close you were to my mother it seems like there might have been some kind of intention behind it. I'm really just curious though."

"Your mother has always been weirdly keen about anything involving her children. For instance, she was confident this would be the year she found you when coming down for her visit to Sheryashka, and her wild guess will be accurate if my eyes aren't playing tricks on me. Her perceptiveness at any other time is pretty useless but when it comes to her children I'd be willing to bet large sums of stardust agreeing with her predictions. As for you, when you were still a foetus in her womb, she had a premonition that you would be someone incredible. Someone who shone in combat. She was already somewhat annoyed with Major prior to the incident so naming you Ares was kind of like a petty jab at him. Calla stole the naming convention and indirectly challenged him by saying 'my child will be stronger than all of yours. He will be the God of war you sought after but never had'. Don't get me wrong though, she did really fall in love with the name otherwise she never would have called you that. Calla is petty but nowhere near petty enough to permanently affect her child's life going forward just to enact vengeance. If she didn't like it, the name would never have seen the light of day. As for you ending up with Enyo... That's just fate playing cruel tricks."

"Speaking of Fate, you don't mind if my silly sister keeps eavesdropping outside do you?"

The tiny menace peeked over the window sill and growled at Ares.

"That's fine. I have nothing to hide from the twerp anyway." Rhea gestured to Fate. "It's been a while. Why don't you come inside and have some cookies? You can say hello to your long lost brother while you're at it."

It was apparent that Fate was undergoing some kind of internal turmoil. Probably because 'dumb dog Ares' had actually been her own relative all along and the chances of him getting bullied by Calla sunk straight to zero. There were negative chances for her mother to get angry with her own child, especially if what Fate had overheard about him going missing was true. Calla would obsess over Ares for a good while due to everything that had happened with him before she felt remotely satisfied and berating him wasn't even in the cards. She was brought back to reality by Ares' warm palm resting on her head as he looked down at her with a cheeky smile.

"Come on little sis', your big brother is a really good cook. Come in and get to know everyone over some cookies and some lunch."

Fate puffed up her cheeks but ended up coming inside anyway. She tried sitting next to Ares but he shifted underneath her and made her sit on his lap as he patted her head. Ares was all smiles because he'd finally found a family member. Yeah she could be mouthy and annoying sometimes but she was still kinda cute in her own way. He treated her like a little ankle biter. Ares was giddy at having a little sister that was blood related so he pampered her and offered her cookies and milk. She nibbled on the cookies like a squirrel and thoroughly enjoyed them, not that she made it obvious via her facial expressions. Fate was a little princess type, the kind that would hmph at you when she was secretly happy. Actually, that was exactly what she did when Ares asked her if she was enjoying the food and he simply chuckled at her response. Ares was originally going to ask Rhea some more questions but he figured he may as well direct some of them to Fate instead and try to get closer to her that way. In the mean time Rhea could have a chat with her daughters about this and that and catch up.

While all this was happening Ares decided to make some lunch in the background. He asked what everyone wanted and paid particular attention to his two new guest's requests to get a feel for what kinda food they liked to eat going forward. Rhea wanted fish and chips and Ares realised that the Legion women all seemed to really enjoy foods that went well with beer... Sadie liked calzones. Bellona wanted hamburgers for her birthday. And now this... Ares' view of the Legion clan's women as stoic and powerful was deteriorating day by day. They were all sex pests, gluttons, lazy, and / or alcoholics! These women were the embodiment of sin, not holiness! As for Fate, she wanted chicken and sausage gumbo. Ares worked on these dishes in the background as he formulated all the remaining questions he wanted to ask in his mind.

Today had been a fantastic day. Meeting Rhea had turned out way better than he thought for reasons he couldn't have possibly ever imagined and he was glad it had happened. Everything seemed to fall into place and the horizon looked bright for Ares who would be able to meet the rest of his family in a couple days. He was already this merry after just meeting one sister so he was looking forward to the rest. It also seemed like he had the wrong idea bout his parents. What they'd said at the time of his death implied they cared more about their expectations for him than him himself but that was evidently not true. A real weight had been lifted off his shoulders thanks to the information he'd gathered so far and he had every intention of collecting more. Specifically, his next question was about all of his brothers' and sisters' ages because, although he wouldn't mind if Fate was actually fifty or something, her sitting on his lap like this would suddenly become a whole lot less cute... Not that she wasn't still an adorable little munchkin. Ares took great joy in occasionally pinching her cheek. She pretended not to like it and yet she made no effort to escape from him. Although Enyo was preoccupied with talking to Rhea about various matters she did keep an eye on Ares mostly because she liked seeing him this cheerful... Even if the tiny rat on his lap was a disagreeable rodent at times... Still, Enyo would just have to get used to seeing her around. Oh well, can't win 'em all.