Chapter 5

The first rays of dawn begins to filter through the temple's stained-glass windows and casting faint hues of gold and rose onto the stone floor. Soon, Cordelia stirs from her deep sleep. Her mind is still foggy and her body feels heavy. Blinking slowly, Cordelia realize she is no longer in the unfamiliar coldness of her rotting room but in a soft and comfortable bed.

At first, Cordelia cannot remember what happened to her. She remembered being beaten by a maid. At that time, Cordelia was readying herself to die for the second time. But as if a miracle happened, someone saved her from that painful experience and the one who did it was a beautiful woman.

And then...

'I think I passed out after that.'

With a sigh, her gaze shifts to the side of the bed. Cordelia almost jumps in surprise when she sees a woman slumped in a chair. It was 'Cordelia's' mother, Viviane.

The female General Commander is sleeping. Her face softens by exhaustion but the unmistakable signs of her strength still lingers on her features. Cordelia studies her mother's features quietly.

Viviane has a sharp jawline and reddened lips. Her scarlet hair is similar to hers and it's pulled back into a loose braid with a few strands framing her face like a halo. If Cordelia didn't know anything, she will never think Viviane is a knight that fights in war field and leading a huge troops of soldiers. Even in her slumber, Viviane appears to possess a strength that commands respect from those around her.

Closing her eyes, Cordelia gently sits herself on the bed and stretches her arms carefully. She blinks her eyes in wonder after noticing the bruises and cuts on her body are no longer there. Cordelia removes the blanket to inspect her body, particularly the back of her legs and thighs.

According to Cordelia's original memory, the servants in their mansion always hit her when they tried to 'educate' her. Every time she makes a mistake, they will hit her with a stick or a horsewhip. Although it happened on a regular basis, no one in the Demitria family noticed because the servants always hit Cordelia in areas where she could easily hide with her clothes.

Cordelia, who was young and frail, once attempted to inform her father about the abuse. But the adults around her continued to manipulate and brainwash the poor child. They always tell her to keep everything a secret if she wants her father and brothers to love her again.

'And Cordelia will believe them because she desperately wanted to be loved again.'

After making sure that her body is now fine, Cordelia looks at her mother again and continue observing her.

Viviane Demitria is the legendary General Commander of the Black Knights. She's a woman who had led armies into battle, had spent countless years on the front lines and facing down enemies with a fierce grace. Cordelia remembered how the book describe Viviane's fighting style and it always makes her admire the female General more.

But this fierce knight is now reduced to sitting at the side of her daughter's bed. Her exhaustion and heartache are evident in her posture. But after recalling the circumstances, Viviane's current state is understandable.

Cordelia never had a family or relatives in her past life. But if she has one and witnesses someone hurting them, Cordelia will also become devastated and hurt. With that thought, Cordelia's chest tightens. But before she can think further, Viviane suddenly stirs. A soft groan escapes her lips as her eyes flutter open and meet Cordelia's stare.

"Cordelia!" Viviane exclaimed seeing her daughter is finally awake.

In an instant, she quickly approaches the little girl and cups her cheek. The female General's hands feel rough, but Cordelia notices how gentle and warm they feel on her skin. The little girl can not help but lean on it and enjoy the warmth it provides her.

"Cordelia…" Viviane whispered in a voice raw with emotion. "You're finally awake."

Before Cordelia can react, Viviane wraps her daughter in a frantic but tender embrace. Her arms are warm and strong. She holds Cordelia tightly as if she will disappear if she lets go.

"Oh, my darling. I'm sorry... I'm so sorry..."

Viviane murmurs repeatedly while crying. She gently press her cheek against Cordelia's forehead while apologizing non-stop. Cordelia tries to tell her that it's alright but it seems like Viviane cannot hear it.

"Cordelia, I'm sorry. I should have been there sooner. I should have protected you… I'm sorry I wasn't able to save you in time. Forgive me, Cordelia. I'm sorry, my dear."

Cordelia remains still in her mother's arms. The gentle pressure of her hug is comforting yet overwhelming. Her heart swells with emotions she cannot fully understand until now. Viviane's words are filled with remorse but Cordelia can feel her mother's strength and love pulsing through each syllable.

'She truly love her daughter...'

With effort, Cordelia lifts her hand and gently placed it against Viviane's back and pulls her closer in a quiet response. She did not expect to be embraced so fiercely but full of love. And Cordelia can't help but seek more of it.

They stay in that position for a moment. Cordelia soaks in her mother's warmth while Viviane holds her daughter close in her arms. Cordelia gently pats her mother's back when she notices her tears have subsided just like the nurses did in her previous life. Cordelia feels like she needs something to say right now.

"M-Mommy…"

That word feels foreign but familiar in her tongue. There is also something in her chest that tickles her heart. Taking a deep breathe, Cordelia decided to think about it later and continue consoling the woman hugging her tightly.

"Mommy, don't apologize." Cordelia softly said. "None of this is your fault."

Viviane's grip falters for a moment as she pulls back and look at her daughter with disbelief in her eyes. She searches Cordelia's face as if trying to gauge whether her daughter truly means what she said and that moment stretches between them.

"My dear... I... You say that but I failed you, Cordelia. W-When I gave birth to you, I promised I would always protect you. But I wasn't there when you needed me the most. How could I not have known what you were going through? I'm your mother. I should... I should know what is happening to my family..."

Viviane's voice cracks and fresh tears starts spilling down her face. Her expression shows how deeply hurt and guilty she was. But Cordelia is not blaming her. How can she blame the person who is hurting the most after seeing her daughter's poor state?

When Cordelia blinks her eyes, the tears she had been holding back suddenly spills. Her words are touching her heart. Viviane Demitria, a woman who had fought wars and endured unspeakable hardship in the battlefield, is now apologizing for something she cannot control.

"Mommy..." Cordelia said again. This time, her voice is firm and stronger than it had been in years. "I know... I know you were fighting to protect everyone. This is not your fault. Please don't blame yourself."

Viviane falls silent while staring at her young daughter. She had always been so used to being the protector and the one in control. But after learning about what happened in her family after returning to their kingdom, the female General was confronted with the reality that she cannot prevent everything from happening, even if she desperately wants it to. After a long silence, a single tear run down her cheek and it follows the lines of her face.

"But I failed you, my dear." Viviane whispered again in a shaking voice. "I couldn't protect you from everything. I couldn't keep you safe. I..."

Cordelia reaches up and gently wipes the tear from her mother's face. Her heart aches for the pain she's carrying right now. It's a huge guilt that she bears even though it's not her fault at all.

"You didn't fail me. It was mommy who saved me."

"My dear..."

Viviane hugs her daughter so tightly and Cordelia simply let her mother to cry and let it all out. After she calms down, Viviane looks at her daughter with eyes full of sorrow and love. Slowly, she exhales and gives Cordelia a kiss on her forehead.

"Mommy is now here. I'll make sure you're safe from now on, Cordelia." Viviane promised. Her voice is thick with determination. "I swear it on my life and honor. I'll never let anything hurt you again."

"Thank you..."

Seeing that Viviane finally stops crying, Cordelia smiles faintly and feel her heart becomes lighter. Cordelia believes she can get used to feeling her mother's unfailing love. She closes her eyes and soaks up her mother's warm embrace and enjoys every second of it.