CHAPTER 3: At Sixes and Sevens

HO-SEOK POV.

Stepping inside the Award room, the room glittering and blinking with different stage lights glowing energy bulbs, the laser light shone beautifully across the ceiling, and different artists were presently seated and enjoying every bit of the show.

The round table was fully occupied by the guests, some were standing up and making that cheering sound for every performance, and the Show camera teams were busy with their capturing. Everywhere was bubbling with fun and excitement.

According to the announcement, this was the fourth Award category for PAA Best MV.

I majestically walked straight to my reservation and slouched down with HwangMin and my PA sitting next to me and helping themselves from the sparkling fruit wine on the table.

HwangMin poured an ample amount into the glass and handed it over to me, which I gladly accepted, fidgeting with the glass, and then and now, I will take a sip. My eyes were focused on the next category which I'm also nominated alongside with my worst nightmare madam Kathryn Howard.

I watched as the announcer climbed the stage to announce the winner in the Best MV category. Cheers, and clapping filled the room as her voice boomed through the megaphone, making my heart skip a bit as the screen displayed all the nominees.

I need to control my heart, bitch has been acting weird lately.

"So the winner for the Best MV in the Awards show in the PAA history is no other person than our one and only, amiable cute Kathryn Howard."

My ears went deaf instantly as the cheers were throbbing in and out of my eardrums. I also stand up to offer my own cheers, who knows if there are some bloggers lurking around the room, I rather not fall into their traps this time.

Everyone stood up to their feet as the supposed winner made her way to the stage, I was so still engrossed with the cheering sounds that I didn't notice all eyes were focused in my direction and before I could understand what happening, and turning around to see who this Kathryn Howard was, the latter already made a walk past me, that I wasn't able to get a glimpse of her facades but the tinkling feelings my heart gave out immediately sounds weird.

Sudden butterflies erupted in my stomach and made me uneasy as I watched the Kathryn Howard of a lady walking majestically to the stage, judging from her elegant back and the way she bears her body while working, coupled with the way she was waving her hands left and right to her cheers and supporters. The industry loves her for real.

Judging from her back, her lengthy red-designed floral gown was beautifully beaded and fell freely as she walked.

My heart skipped a bit as I thought about her dress even seeing her face. She must be really beautiful, and she is also talented; maybe after this show, I will approach her and ask for any possible collaboration. I bet she wouldn't refuse me a verse.

Who even would???? Imagine having Kang-seok jumping on your song and offering you a verse.

Despite my alleged scandal, I also have these influential skills that every artist always asks for a verse from, even if it's a Cameo, but I kept turning majorities down.

I was steadily waiting for the Kathryn Howard of a lady to reveal herself immediately after she climbed the stage, I can't believe I'm so desperate and eager to know who the fuck she is.

Kathryn Howard finally climbed the stage and made a small kowtowing to the announcer who handed her the Award, she gladly accepted it and turned around and gently ran her hand over her face to unveil the red veil covering her face, that was when my world froze and collapse right before me.

Aeroplanes can walk, pigs can fly, turtles can regain their smooth shells and snails can outrun a cheetah but never will I believe that the person standing on that stage is who I never thought would be.

I can't believe myself, my eyes blinking repeatedly and the glass in my hands makes that shattering sound that would have filled the room had it been the cheers wasn't loud enough.

My eyes turned and this was the period I could say I got my own taste of what having cramps meant and felt, as the pain in my stomach erupted and weakened my knees. I managed to grasp on the table and thank goodness HwangMin was present and quickly pulled me together.

I can discern a few eyes were fixed on me and I know I can't mess up, not now in her presence, I have never been this weak and I will never be this weak. I managed to snap myself out of whatever weakness I was feeling.

Perplexed and tired, I stood and watched Kathryn Howard thanking her fans and showing her gratitude. Her lips were almost torn from the smile that displayed on her face.

She was smiling and I wanted to wipe it away from her face. How could she?? Was this who she was all those while??

"I'm very grateful to all my fans and the PAA Chairman who made this Awards show a memorable, thank you all " She blew out a kiss. "And to my mentor and inspiration thank you so much for giving me another reason to live on, I love you." She did a finger heart.

That was the voice that lingered in my head as I watched her, Kathryn Howard??? I can't believe it. Stepping down the stage amidst the cheers.

Never in this world would I ever believe that Kathryn Howard is who I wasn't thinking about.

The person who made my whole life miserable, ruin my reputation.

I nearly lost my career because of this Kathryn Howard and here she was, smiling like nothing happened.

I'm sure this is her. Can't be her doppelganger, it's her; this is her.

My anger flared up as I watched her strode down the stage mini stairs. Her cheeks bubbled with smiles as she made her way towards her table and I had to avert my face.

I can't let her see me. It's clear she already moved on. She fucking moved on after ruining my life. She left everything we once shared behind. She got a new name for herself. It's no longer what she used to bear.

Was this a dream?? Then I want to wake up. I can hear my heart popping out of its pericardium. My blood steaming hot and instant heat crept out on my neck. Lo and behold my eyes stung with tears. I can't believe it.

Wait!!! Let's pause.

Kathryn Howard is who??? RASHFORD ISABELLA!!! My Ex??? Kathryn is Bella. Bella is Kathryn. The woman I loved back in Korea.

I was still trying to process it when her laughter came through my eardrums as she made her way past us, I bet she didn't see me and I'm angrily glad.

My face dropped as she walked past us, whatever anger I had felt these past years came back surging through me.

This is Rashford Isabella! My estranged Fiancee and allegedly Ex. She did what?? Changed everything about her. Her name moved from Isabella to what?? Kathryn.

Gosh!!! She actually left her teaching career to what?? An Artist and most Awarded Artist for that matter.

What actually happened??

I wasn't able to contain my pain and anger as I slowly sat down, used my hand towel, and wiped the tears already circling my eyes. The anger in me can boil yam and I wonder since I was this angry seeing the one I once called the love of my life, then I wonder how my six other brothers will be feeling.

Her presence will irritate and infuriate them.

Poor Jiminah!! Thank God he wasn't here. Who knows what he might do?? Or how angry he will be?? A big win for me right now.

I tried to push back the moment at the back of my mind but I couldn't, how could l?? When she is right here under the same roof and hall with me and probably an inch away from my back, I need to be strong and focused even if It was only for today, I rather walk out majestically as I came, than make a mess of myself in front of those Media and crazy bloggers.

I exhale deeply, rubbing my hands together, I can see HwangMin's eyes fixed on him and I know he must be debating about my sudden change and outburst. But what does he know??

I was still trying to collect back my thoughts when the announcer's voice echoed in my ear, I can't believe I was so lost in thoughts that I didn't notice they were already in Best Dance Choreography MV and I was so engrossed in my thoughts that I didn't hear when my name echoed in the room.

HwangMin tapped me and I hid myself under the table, waving him to go get the Award on my behalf and thank goodness he is legend enough to understand the signs, and off he went.

Everyone was cheering and looking happy and here I was drenched and beaten again.

My past has come back to hurt me. The crazy media and bloggers must be waiting for their clout. I can't describe what I was feeling now.

Am I scared?? I can't tell or is my emotions playing mind games with me.

Sitting there felt like an eternity. I was now under my own shadow. Fear of triggering the bloggers and bringing back past horrible headlines to myself and my brothers. Fear that everything we have been battling for years to debunk every rumor hovering around my career is going down the drain.

My thoughts were already in a tangled mess, so engrossed in my thoughts that I didn't notice all the performances hitting the stage and the Awards being given out here and then. I can likely say I was just lost in my lights.

Was ghostly sitting there when the main PAA Award was announced, this is an Award given to a deserving Artist or influencer and it's not fan-voted, not Streams, or Chart counted, let's say what Medals are to Gymnastics is what GPAA is to Artists, that's the grand and sole Award and only the deserving ones will have it.

I was seated, looking forward to the announcement, and I already made up my mind that once this category was announced, I'd be leaving this hell of a show. HwangMin will handle the rest and I'm driving myself home.

The announcer climbed the stage and I was patiently seated, waiting for the winner to be called.

I don't know what is happening to me but I'm sure I heard Kang Ho-seok as the winner of this Award or was I expecting too much?

I took a long lingering breath and it was when HwangMin signaled to me if he should go and accept it on my behalf that it dawned on me I was actually the one who won this year's PAA Grand Award.

The remaining anger in me melted just like an ice cream and I smiled.

Scared of public appearance, and the media and bloggers; and a bit scared of Isabella, Wait! Now Kathryn Howard. Maybe what I'm about to do will change a lot in my career.

Struck with indecision, I slowly stood up, straightened my Louis Vuitton suit and rearranged my long tie, then ran my fingers across my hair. I'm about to take another step forward, which can either mean make it or break it. We never can tell

I shouldn't be the only one who should feel the presence of their Ex and its uncomfortable feelings, it takes two to tango; so I'm sharing the exact feelings I got seeing Kathryn Howard.

Hope her heart is strong enough to handle seeing me on that stage.

I smiled broadly and started striding towards the stage to accept my Grand Award.