The Lodger

Aickman Road…

The Tardis materialises in a small park across the road from groups of terraced houses.

"No, Amy, Iroha, Yachiyo, Sana, it's definitely not the fifth moon of Cindie Colesta." The Doctor said.

"Oh, I think I can see a Ryman's." Tsuruno said, happily.

"Stationery?" Felicia asked. "That's a bit boring."

"At least we can make cards with it."

"Yup." Jared said, looking at the two Magical Girls. "I need to pick up envelopes and matching paper at some point. I have a hunch, really."

There is an explosion, throwing the Doctor, Jared, Tsuruno, and Felicia to the ground, and the Tardis dematerialises.

"Amy! Amy!" The Doctor said. "Iroha! Yachiyo! Sana!"

Tardis…

"The console is exploding." Yachiyo said.

The Tardis is shaking, and there is a shower of sparks nearby.

"And it's shaking a lot." Iroha said, walking over to the scanner. "It says we're on Earth. Essex, Colchester."

"I think it's in England." Sana said.

The shaking stops.

"Doctor? It's taking off again. Doctor, can you hear us?" Amy asked.

Aickman Road…

"Amy! Amy." The Doctor said.

"Okay, Iroha, Yachiyo, and Sana are stuck in the TARDIS with Amy." Jared said, looking at Tsuruno and Felicia. "That's not good."

"Yep, yep." Tsuruno said. "What do we do now?"

"The hell are we supposed to go to? Do you know where?" Felicia asked.

"Nope. All we need to do is find an ad." Jared said. "Something that looks important."

Felicia walked across the street to find Craig's advertisement, "Hey! This ought to be important!"

Flat…

Downstairs, in 79b.

"Craig, what's that on the ceiling?" Sophie asked.

"What's what on the ceiling?" Craig asked.

"That. It's coming from upstairs." Sophie said, looking at a damp stain in the corner. "Who lives up there again?"

"Just some bloke." Craig said, as the stain spreads. "So what's the plan tonight? Pizza, booze, telly?"

"Yeah, pizza, booze, telly." Sophie said, while an explosion happened upstairs. "What is he doing up there? You put the advert up yet?"

"Yeah, did it today, paper shop window. One furnished room available immediately, shared kitchen, bathroom, with twenty seven year old male, non-smoker, four hundred pound pcm, per calendar month, suit young professional." Craig said.

"Mmm, sounds ideal. That's your mission in life, Craig. Find me a man."

"Yeah, otherwise you'll have to settle for me."

"You'll have to settle for me first." Sophie said, answering her phone. "Oh, Melina again. What? Right. Yeah, but I've kind of got plans. No, it's nothing important, it's just Craig."

Craig sees the stain spreading again, "Oh, thanks, Soph."

"Sorry. You know what I mean. Okay, I'll talk to Craig. Okay. Now she's having a Dylan crisis on top of the Clare crisis. It could be another all-nighter. I'm sorry, but I really should go. Do you mind if I go?"

"No, not at all. No, honestly. Course not. Go." Craig said.

"Because I could stay." Sophie said.

"No, go on."

"I mean, we've got plans."

"Just pizza."

"Yeah, it's just pizza. Okay, right, I'm going." Sophie said, happily.

"All right, then. Well, er, I'll see you soon." Craig said, sadly.

"Yeah."

"All right. And give me a call, and I hope everything's okay."

"Thanks, sorry." Sophie said, leaving the flat and hears noises from upstairs, then footsteps.

She leaves the house.

"Just tell her. Just tell her. I love you. I love you. Oh, just. Hey, I don't know if you knew. Oh." Craig said, and the doorbell rings. "Every time." Sophie has left her keys behind on a fluffy pink key ring, so he picks them up and goes to the front door. "I love you. I love you."

Front door…

"I love you. I love you." Craig said, while he opens the door. "I love you."

"That's good, because the four of us are your new roommates!" Jared said, excitedly.

"This is gonna be way easier than we expected." Tsuruno said. "Yep, yep."

The Doctor takes the fluffy pink keys from Craig. There is a Bluetooth device in his ear.

"But I only put the advert up today. I didn't put my address." Craig said.

"Well, aren't you lucky we came along? More lucky than you know. I'm less of a young professional, more of an ancient amateur, but frankly I'm an absolute dream. And my friends here, they're absolutely wonderful. They know how to throw a party. And they're a blast." The Doctor said, looking over at Jared, Tsuruno, and Felicia.

"Hang on a minute, mate. I don't know if I want you lot staying. And give me back those keys. You can't have those."

"Yes, quite right. Have some rent." The Doctor said, handing Craig a paper take-away bag with lots of twenty pound notes in it. "That's probably quite a lot, isn't it? Looks like a lot. Is it a lot? I can never tell."

"It's a lot." Jared said, looking at the bag. "You got us way too much pounds."

They go into the hallway. The lights upstairs are flickering.

"Don't spend it all on sweets, unless you like sweets. I like sweets." The Doctor said.

"Me too." Felicia said, her hands behind her head. "Chocolate covered bacon!"

"Don't forget sesame balls!" Tsuruno said.

"Mochi." Jared said, grabbing Tsuruno's hand.

"Ooo." The Doctor said, and he gives Craig a couple of air kisses about six inches from each cheek. "That's how we greet each other nowadays, isn't it?"

"No it's not!" Felicia said, angrily. "Grr…"

"Sorry. I'm the Doctor. This is Jared, Tsuruno, and Felicia. Well, they call me the Doctor. I don't know why. I call me the Doctor, too. Still don't know why." The Doctor said.

"Craig Owens. The Doctor? Jared? Tsuruno? Felicia?" Craig asked.

"Yep. That's us. So, who lives upstairs?" Tsuruno asked.

"Just some bloke."

"What's he like?" Jared asked.

"Normal. He's very quiet." Craig said, as they heard a crash from upstairs. "Usually. Sorry, who are you lot again? Hello?"

(Jared's POV)

Flat…

"Excuse me?" Craig asked.

"I think that's dry rot." I said, taking out some sesame balls to eat.

"Or damp. Or mildew." Felicia said, looking at the ceiling.

"Or none of the above." Tsuruno said.

"I'll get someone to fix it." Craig said.

"No, I'll fix it. I'm good at fixing rot. Call me the Rotmeister. No, I'm the Doctor, don't call me the Rotmeister. This is the most beautiful parlour I have ever seen. You're obviously a man of impeccable taste." The Doctor said.

"We can stay, Craig, can't we? Say we can." Tsuruno said.

"None of you haven't even seen the room." Craig said.

"The room?" Felicia asked. "What room?"

"Your room."

"Our room?" Tsuruno asked. "Oh yeah, our room."

"Come on Craig, take us to our room." I said, happily.

Doctor's room…

Eighties decor.

"Yeah, this is Mark's old room. He owns the place. Moved out about a month ago. This uncle he'd never even heard of died and left a load of money in the will." Craig said.

"How very convenient. This'll do just right. In fact." The Doctor said.

"Yep, yep." Tsuruno said, heating another loud crash from above. "I like it."

"Same here." I said, happily. "It could do with some updating."

The Doctor tests the air with a damp finger, "No time to lose. We'll take it. Ah you'll want to see our credentials. There."

"It's a bit boring though." Felicia said. "And a bit old. It can work."

The psychic paper gets passed behind the Doctor's back and shown to Craig three times.

"National Insurance number. NHS number. References." The Doctor said.

"Is that a reference from the Archbishop of Canterbury?" Craig asked.

"I'm his special favourite."

"Are you hungry? I'm hungry. I could do it with a steak, Doctor." Felicia said, her stomach rumbling.

"I haven't got anything in." Craig said.

Flat...

"You've got everything I need for an omelette fines herbes, pour deux. Along with a nice steak lunch for Felicia here." The Doctor said, turning on the stove.

"Thanks, Doctor." Felicia said, watching the Doctor cook.

"So, who's the girl on the fridge?" Tsuruno asked.

A photograph of Craig and Sophie, along with the Vincent van Gogh Self-portrait in Straw Hat postcard.

"Vincent Van Gogh." I said, leaning against the wall. "Now that was nice. That painting."

"I should meet him sometime too. Well, who is she?" Tsuruno asked.

"My friend. Sophie." Craig said.

"Is she your girlfriend?"

"A friend who is a girl. There's nothing going on."

"Okay, that's completely normal." I said, still eating the sesame balls. "It works for us, y'know."

"How did you meet? Was it at a restaurant? A deli?" Felicia asked. "Or a burger joint?"

"No, it wasn't. We met at work about a year ago, at the call centre." Craig said.

"Oh really, a communications exchange? That could be handy." The Doctor said.

"Firm's going down though. The bosses are using a totally rubbish business model. I know what they should do. I got a plan all worked out. But I'm just a phone drone, I can't go running in saying I know best. Why am I telling you lot this? I don't even know any of you." Craig said.

"Well, I've got one of those faces. People never stop blurting out their plans while I'm around. And Felicia and Tsuruno are adorable. Jared's cool." The Doctor said.

"Right. Where's your stuff?"

"It'll pop up. I'm fine. Everything's fine. If it goes to how I remember it." I said, tossing the last sesame ball into my mouth.

(Open POV)

Tardis…

"The wheezing noise is still going on." Yachiyo said. "We're stuck in the time vortex."

The Tardis is struggling to stay solid.

"Wait, which one was it?" Sana asked.

"This isn't good." Iroha said, sitting on the jump seat.

"No. Why won't you land?" Amy asked.

Flat…

The omelettes have been demolished. And Felicia finished her steak.

"Oh, that was incredible. That was absolutely brilliant. Where did you learn to cook?" Craig asked.

"Paris, in the eighteenth century. No, hang on, that's not recent, is it? Seventeenth?" The Doctor asked.

"Doctor, you learned how to do it twenty years ago." Jared said, eating some fried rice. "Thanks for this, Tsuruno."

"The fried rice? No problem! It is Banbanzai's specialty after all." Tsuruno said, excitedly.

"And the steak, Doctor, you made it well done!" Felicia said, happily. "I loved the way you cooked the meat."

"You're welcome. I'm glad you and Jared enjoyed the meals." The Doctor said, looking at Felicia. "Sorry, I'm not used to doing them in the right order."

"Has anyone ever told you that you're a bit weird?" Craig asked.

"They never really stop."

"Have you ever been to Paris, Craig?" Jared asked. "I went there once a couple years ago. And recently. It was nice. Seeing all the sights."

"Nah. I can't see the point of Paris. I'm not much of a traveller." Craig said.

"I can tell from your sofa. You're Craig the sofa man."

"My sofa?"

"You're starting to look like it. Like a couch potato."

"The hell was that for?" Felicia asked. "Don't say that in front of him. It was rude."

"Sorry. I didn't mean it." Jared said, sadly.

"No, I like it here. I'd miss it, I'd miss…" Craig said, playing with some house keys.

"Those keys." Tsuruno said, staring at the house keys.

"What?"

"You're playing with them. Like you're worried about something."

"I'm holding them." Craig said.

"Right."

"Anyway. These, these are your keys." Craig said, handing the Doctor a set of house keys.

"We can stay?" The Doctor asked.

"Yeah, Doctor, you and your mates are weird and you can cook. It's good enough for me. Right. Outdoor, front door, your door." Craig said, showing off e keys.

"Our door. Our place. Our gaff. Ha ha! Yes. Us with a key."

"And listen, Mark and I, we had an arrangement where if any of you ever need me out of your hair, just give me a shout, okay?"

"Why would we want that?" Felicia asked.

"In case you want to bring someone round. A girlfriend or, a boyfriend?"

"Oh, we will. we'll shout if that happens. Yes. Something like, I was not expecting this!" The Doctor said.

"Or we will yell so loud that it could demolish the whole house!" Jared said, excitedly. "Who wouldn't want to yell at the top of their lungs?"

"Red Person!" Felicia said.

"She means Kyoko." Tsuruno said. "The one that loves food as much as us. Pocky and Dance Dance Revolution too."

"I know who you're talking about." Jared said, happily.

"By the way, that. The rot. I've got the strangest feeling we shouldn't touch it." The Doctor said, looking at Craig. "Come on Jared, girls."

Doctor's room…

"Earth to Pond and Team Mikazuki Villa, Earth to Pond and Team Mikazuki Villa." The Doctor said.

Tardis...

"Come in, Pond, Iroha, Yachiyo, and Sana." The Doctor said, his voice over the speaker.

"Doctor!" Amy said, excitedly.

"Jared!" Iroha said.

There is massive feedback through the earpiece.

"Hi." Sana said.

"Are Tsuruno and Felicia out of trouble?" Yachiyo asked. "Well, are they? I need to know now! They do like getting into trouble. And taking things too far."

The feedback is even more loud through the earpiece.

"Yachiyo. Don't yell." Sana said.

"Sorry." Yachiyo said.

"Tsuruno and Felicia are fine." Jared said, over the speaker. "Using my Augma to be a part of the call."

"Could you not wreck my new earpiece, Nanami?" The Doctor asked.

Craig's room..

Craig is on his phone and looking at the bank notes, "No, I mean, they seem a laugh. They're a bit weird. Good weird, you know?"

"And they just happen to have three grand on them in a paper bag?" Sophie asked, over the phone.

"Yeah." Craig said.

Sophie's room...

"Wait, wait. The Doctor? Jared? Tsuruno? And Felicia?" Sophie asked.

Craig's room...

"Craig, what if they're dealers?" Sophie asked, her voice over the phone.

S.O.N.G headquarters…

Elfnein looked down at the pendant that is full of phonic gain, impurities of Magical Girls from Kamihama, hope of all Magical Girls from Kamihama, along with remnants of the Law of Cycles from Aqours, "And it's done. What do you want me to do now? Because it contains unimaginable power."

Doctor's room…

"You, Touka, and Nemu worked on that all week? Good." Jared said, seeing Elfnein on the holographic screen in the bedroom. "Honestly, this universe has the best outcome for everyone. For Magical Girls. For Symphogear. For the SAO survivors. Even for the Doctor and his companions. I don't want us to lose all this. So, how's the Tardis coping?"

Tardis…

Iroha holds out the hand set, "See for yourself."

Doctor's room…

"Ooo, nasty. She's locked in a materialisation loop, trying to land again…" The Doctor said.

Tardis…

"But she can't." The Doctor said, over the speaker.

"Hmm. And whatever's stopping her is upstairs in that flat." Amy said.

"I think you guys should go upstairs and fix this." Sana said.

S.O.N.G headquarters…

"You care about us that much, huh. Is what happens in the future a bad thing?" Elfnein asked.

Doctor's room…

"We don't know what it is." Tsuruno said. "It could be anything. Yep, yep."

"Anything that can stop the Tardis from landing is big. Scary big." The Doctor said.

Tardis…

"Um, are you scared about the future?" Sana asked. "And whatever is going up upstairs."

S.O.N.G headquarters…

"I think he is." Elfnein said, holding the pendant. "Jared doesn't know if he will be alive. What will occur in his personal future. Jared fought so hard to save us, for everyone. I embedded the memories and emotions associated with each Symphogear wielder. Along with the magic of each Magical Girl."

"Elfnein, I need that pendant tomorrow. So, you separated everything about the Law of Cycles from Aqours. Good. Because I still love the weapons associated with it. That artificial intelligence comes in handy." Jared said, his voice over the phone.

Craig's room…

"A bow tie? Are you serious?" Sophie asked, over the phone.

"Be fair. Could be even…" The Doctor said, nearby.

"Hang on a sec." Craig said.

Sophie's room...

"What? Craig." Sophie said.

Craig's room…

"Craig?" Sophie asked, her voice over the phone.

Craig has got out of bed to listen to the Doctor's voice coming through the wall.

"Orange juice. Neocene Arbuckle. Rare tarantula on the table. Oh." The Doctor said, his voice nearby.

Doctor's room…

"We can't go up there until we know what it is and how to deal with it. And it is vital that this man upstairs doesn't realise who and what me, Tsuruno, and Felicia are. So no sonicking. No magic. No advanced technology. I can only use this and Jared can only use the Augma because we're on scramble. To anyone else hearing this conversation, we're talking absolute gibberish." The Doctor said.

Craig's room…

"Practical eruption in chicken. Descartes Lombardy spiral." Jared said, nearby.

Doctor's room…

"Now all I've got to do is pass as an ordinary human being. I've got Jared, Tsuruno, and Felicia around to stop me from messing up. Simple. What could possibly go wrong?" The Doctor asked.

"Have you seen you?" Amy asked, over Jared's Augma.

"So you're just going to be snide. No helpful hints?"

Tardis…

"I think, I think you should get rid of the bow tie." Sana said.

Doctor's room…

"Bow ties are cool. Come on, you lot, I'm a normal bloke. Tell me what normal blokes do." The Doctor said.

"We watch anime and sports on TV." Jared said, leaning against the wall. "We play sports and video games…"

Tardis…

"We go to bars to drink, have a night out with friends." Jared said, over the speaker.

Doctor's room…

"I could do those things. I don't, but I could." The Doctor said.

"I'm starving." Felicia said. "Got any more food?"

"Felicia, now's not the time for a snack." Jared said, when there's a bang upstairs.

"Hang on. Wait, wait, wait, girls?" The Doctor asked.

"Things might be crazy over there." Tsuruno said.

The Tardis is going crazy and the hands on the Doctor's alarm clock and wrist watch are going backwards and forwards very rapidly.

"Interesting. Localised time loop." The Doctor said.

Tardis…

"Ow. That hurt. What's all that?" Iroha asked.

Doctor's room…

"Time distortion. Whatever's happening upstairs is still affecting you girls." The Doctor said.

"Iroha, you can mend your Soul Gem. Along with Yachiyo and Sana's with the Grief Seeds I stored around the console room." Jared said, leaning against the wall. "I think I left maybe twenty to thirty of them."

Lights are flashing in the upstairs flat. The woman is screaming.

Tardis…

"It stopped. Ish." Yachiyo said.

Doctor's room…

"How about your end?" Yachiyo asked, her voice over the Augma.

"Our end's good." Jared said, happily. "I got the Doctor, Tsuruno, and Felicia. All I have to do is have Shizuku connected this room with Mikazuki Villa. And then we can go to Kamihama at any time."

"So…" Amy said, her voice over the Augma.

Tardis…

"Doesn't sound great, but nothing to worry about?" Amy asked.

Doctor's room…

"No, no, no, not really. Just keep the zigzag plotter on full." The Doctor said.

Tardis…

"That'll protect you lot." The Doctor said, over the speaker.

"Ow." Sana said, moving a lever.

Doctor's room…

"Sana, he said the zigzag plotter." Jared said, rolling his eyes.

Tardis…

"I pulled the zigzag plotter." Sana said.

Doctor's room…

"What, you're standing with the door behind you?" Tsuruno asked.

Tardis…

"Yes." Sana said.

Doctor's room…

"Okay, take two steps to your right and pull it again." Tsuruno said. "Jared showed me lessons on how to fly her."

"Grr. Why did you not teach me?" Felicia asked.

"You're not as trustworthy as the Mightiest Magical Girl." Jared said, laughing a little.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

Still the same switch, mind you.

"Now, I must not use the sonic. We've got work to do." The Doctor said.

Tardis...

"Need to pick up a few items. Come on, Jared, Tsuruno, and Felicia." The Doctor said, over the speaker.

"Hey." Amy said.

Aickman Road…

The Doctor returns to the terrace with Jared, Tsuruno, Felicia, and a shopping trolley full of miscellanea.

"Damn. We didn't have to get this many!" Felicia said. "It's so heavy!"

A cat protests.

"Aww, that's a cute kitty." Tsuruno said.

"Shush. Don't get comfortable." The Doctor said, looking at the cat.

Doctor's room / Mikazuki Villa…

"So, you got us Banbanzai!" Jared said, grabbing the bags of Chinese food. "Family discount?"

"Yep, yep." Tsuruno said. "Fried rice. And what else? Oh yeah, dim sum!"

"Thanks."

"Anything for me?" Felicia asked. "Is that pork buns?"

"Hey! That's mine! But we can share."

Banging from upstairs.

Jared opened the tins and walked over to the Doctor's room, "Time to eat."

Bathroom…

The Doctor is in the shower, "What did you say?"

Corridor…

"I'm just going to go upstairs. See if he's okay." Craig said.

Bathroom…

"Sorry?" The Doctor asked, as Craig goes up the stairs. "What did you say?"

Upstairs door…

A grey haired figure opens the door on the chain, "Yes? Hello?"

Bathroom…

"Craig?" The Doctor asked, getting out of the shower, slips and falls. "Ow."

Upstairs door…

"It's me from downstairs. I heard a big bang." Craig said.

Bathroom…

"No choice. It's sonicking time." The Doctor said, grabbing an electric toothbrush.

Upstairs door…

"Thank you, Craig, but I don't need your help." The man said.

(Jared's POV)

House…

The Doctor, with a towel around his waist, meets Craig at the foot of the stairs.

I exited the bedroom with Tsuruno, "Tsuruno, don't look."

"Why not?" Tsuruno asked.

The Doctor points the toothbrush at the upstairs door and makes it go whirr, "What happened, what's going on?"

"Is that my toothbrush?" Craig asked.

"Yup. It is! Did you speak to the man upstairs?" Tsuruno asked.

"Yeah."

"So, what did he look like?" I asked, grabbing Tsuruno's hand.

"More normal than the Doctor is at the moment, mate. What are you doing?" Craig asked.

"We thought you might be in trouble." The Doctor said.

"Thanks. Well, if I ever am, you can come and save me with my toothbrush."

Craig's phone rings inside the flat, so he goes to answer it.

"He tried to save the world with a toothbrush." Tsuruno said, her eyes widening. "What's next, a shovel?"

The Doctor starts up the stairs as Sophie comes in the front door.

"Oh! Hello." Sophie said.

"Ah! Hello. The Doctor. And this is Jared and Tsuruno." The Doctor said.

"Right." Sophie said. "Wasn't there a girl called Felicia with you?"

"I'm here!" Felicia said, exiting the Doctor's bedroom. "Whatcha want?"

"Don't be rude." I said, squeezing Tsuruno's hand. "Nice to meet you."

"You must be Sophie." The Doctor said, looking at Sophie.

Air kisses for a greeting again.

"Oh. Oh." Sophie said.

Flat…

"No, Dom's in Malta. There's nobody around. Hang on a sec. We've got a match today, pub league. We're one down if you fancy it?" Craig asked.

"Pub league. A drinking competition?" The Doctor asked.

"Nope, there's no drinking involved, Raggedy Man." I said, looking at the Doctor. "You play soccer. I mean, football."

"Football. Football. Yes, blokes play football. I'm good at football, I think." The Doctor said.

"You've saved my life. I've got somebody. Yeah, all right, I'll see you down there. Hey, Soph." Craig said, phone near his ear.

"Hey, I thought I'd come early and meet your new flat mates." Sophie said.

"Do you play, Sophie?" Tsuruno asked.

"No, Soph just stands on the sidelines. She's my mascot." Craig said.

"Mascot?" Felicia asked. "How is she his mascot?"

"Aren't those two dating?" Tsuruno asked.

"It's a sports match. A soccer game." I said, shrugging my shoulders. "You can't bring support to that. You will be too fixated on her."

"Yet, bringing us to it is totally fine." Felicia said, angrily. "How is that any different?"

"Better get dressed." The Doctor said.

"The spare kit's just in the bottom drawer." Craig said.

"Bit of a mess." The Doctor said, going into his room and shuts the door. "Let me change first, Tsuruno, Felicia."

"What do you think?" Craig asked.

"You didn't say the Doctor was gorgeous." Sophie said.

The Doctor puts his head out of his room, "You unlocked the door. How did you do that? Those are your keys. You must have left them last time you came here."

"Yeah, but I. How do you know these are my keys?"

"I've been holding them." Craig said.

"I have got another set." Sophie said.

"Wait, why do you have two sets of keys?" Tsuruno asked. "For someone else's house."

"Yeah?" Sophie asked.

"Oh, you must like it here too. This place is boring at times. Too relaxing." Felicia said. "I want to do something more fun! And dangerous too. Maybe whack something!"

Doctor's room…

Putting on the number 11 shirt back to front.

"So, we're going out. If we hang about the house all the time, him upstairs might get suspicious and notice me, Felicia, and Tsuruno." The Doctor said.

Tardis…

"Football. Nice work. That's normal." Yachiyo said, leaning against the TARDIS console.

"Yeah, football. All outdoorsy." The Doctor said, over the speaker.

Doctor's room...

"Now, football's the one with the sticks, isn't it?" The Doctor asked.

Park…

"What are you actually called? What's your proper name?" Craig asked.

"Just call me the Doctor." The Doctor said.

"Yeah." Tsuruno said, happily,

"I can't go up to these guys and say hey, this is my new flat mate, he's called the Doctor. And this is his mates, Jared, Tsuruno, and Felicia." Craig said.

"Why not? Why can't he say that?" Felicia asked. "There's no problem with it."

"Yes, there is." I said, looking around. "Because it's weird."

We get to the pitch.

"All right, Craig. Soph. All right, mate." Sean said.

"Hello, we're Craig's new flat mates. I'm called the Doctor. This is Jared, Tsuruno, and Felicia." The Doctor said.

Air kisses not well received.

"All right, Doctor. I'm Sean. So, where are you strongest?" Sean asked.

"Arms." The Doctor said.

"No, he meant what position you play." I said, looking around the place.

"Not sure. The front? The side? Below."

"Are you any good though?" Sean asked.

"Let's find out." The Doctor said.

"Soccer?" Tsuruno asked.

"This game is boring!" Felicia said, angrily. "Where's the action? I want to do some whack a mole!"

"Of course you do." I said, frowning. "I'm the same actually."

The game is underway.

"Who's gonna win this?" Tsuruno asked.

"The Doctor!" I said, taking out some fried rice from Banbanzai. "He's got this."

"Yeah, we're going to win." A woman said.

"You ran over to Banbanzai and back?" Felicia asked. "Did you pick up some meat?��

"Yes." I said, taking out some Five Guys out of my pocket. "There. Burgers. Double patties."

The Doctor is very nimble, dodging other players whilst dribbling the ball.

"That's not bad. Yes! Go!" Sophie said, happily.

"One two. One two." Craig said.

But the Doctor doesn't pass to Craig.

"If only Natsuki was here." I said, frowning. "She would be cheering on the Doctor for us."

"Go on, Doctor! Go on, Doctor!" Sophie said, as the Doctor makes a goal. "Doctor! Doctor! You're brilliant. You're amazing."

"Come on, Craig. Catch up, mate." A player said.

"Come on, Craig. Show them what you've got." Sophie said.

"Craig Owens. He should become a talk show host at some point." I said, smiling. "If he didn't have a wife and a kid."

Craig is about to take the kick when the Doctor steals it from him and scores again to general rejoicing.

"What are you talking about?" Tsuruno asked. ��What kid?"

"Oh yes, I love this game." The Doctor said.

"Doctor! Doctor! Doctor! Doctor!" The spectators said.

More goals with Felicia and Tsuruno joining in, and Craig gets more annoyed.

"Tsuruno!" Felicia said, running after Tsuruno. "Pass me that ball!"

"In a minute." Tsuruno said, kicking the ball. "Doctor!"

The brunette passed the soccer ball to the Time Lord.

"Thanks. Felicia!" The Doctor said, passing the ball to Felicia. "It's all yours."

"Thanks." Felicia said, kicking the ball to the goal.

"Wow…" I said, in awe. "They're good."

"Doctor, you, Tsuruno, and Felicia are so on the team. Next week we've got the Crown and Anchor. We're going to annihilate them." Sean said.

"Annihilate? No. No violence, do you understand me? Not while I'm around. Not today, not ever. I'm the Doctor, the Oncoming Storm…" The Doctor said, angrily.

"Doctor, he meant in a football game." I said, grabbing Tsuruno's hand.

"Yeah." Sean said.

"Lovely. What sort of time?" The Doctor asked.

Craig opens a can of drink and gets sprayed with the foam. Then it repeats again and again.

Only the Doctor, Tsuruno, Felicia, and I are unaffected.

"What's happening?" Tsuruno asked.

We run.

"Trouble." I said, squeezing Tsuruno's hand.

"Master? Iroha? Sana? Amy?" Tsuruno asked.

Tardis…

"Are you okay?" Tsuruno asked, her voice over the speaker.

"It's happening again. But it's worse." Sana said, sadly.

Park…

"The hell does the scanner say?" Felicia asked.

Tardis…

"A lot of nines. Is it good that they're nines? Tell us it's good that they're all nines." Amy said.

Park…

"Nine is good, if you want to start up a school idol group. It's 2010, which means μ's will be forming soon. But I honestly prefer five or seven these days. They're as lucky for me." I said, laughing a little.

"Zigzag plotter. Zigzag plotter, girls." The Doctor said.

Iroha fiddles with the lever. There is a bang and Amy, Iroha, Yachiyo, and Sana are thrown to the floor. They scream.

Park…

"Girls? Are you there?" The Doctor asked.

Tardis…

"Girls?" The Doctor asked, over the speaker.

"Yes. Hello." Yachiyo said. "Do you need something?"

Park...

"Oh, thank heavens. I thought for a moment the Tardis had been flung off into the vortex…" The Doctor said.

Tardis…

"...with the four you inside it, lost forever." The Doctor said, over the speaker.

"Wait, that can actually happen?" Iroha asked. "That's not good. How are we gonna get out of here?"

Park…

"I don't know, Iroha, I'm not the Doctor! Doctor, Jared, you have got to get us out of here." Amy said, over my Augma.

"We will. What's the numbers like? In terms of the countdown." I said, holding Tsuruno's hand.

Tardis..

"I see loads of fives." Sana said.

Park…

The time loop has stopped.

"A lot of fives on the scanner? That's even better! The Puella Magi Holy Quintet. And Team Mikazuki Villa!" I said, happily. "As well as me and Team RWBY. Me and my girls make up the Rainbow Defenders."

Tardis…

"But still, that means the effect of this could be more powerful and dangerous than Eve and Walpurgisnacht." Tsuruno said, over the speaker. "Those were bad. Yep, yep. But don't worry."

Park..

"Yeah, don't worry." Felicia said. "We'll kick that bad guy's butt. Whatever is going on here."

Tardis…

"Hey." Amy said.

"I've got some rewiring to do. Come on, Jared, Tsuruno, Felicia." The Doctor said, over the speaker.

"Hang on." Amy said.

(Open POV)

Flat…

Craig knocks on the Doctor's door.

The Doctor answers holding a traffic cone, "Hello, flat mate."

"Hey, man. Er, listen. Er, Sophie's coming round tonight and I was wondering if you and your mates could give us some space?" Craig asked.

"Oh, don't mind me. You won't even know I'm here with my mates." The Doctor said.

"Felicia! Don't touch that!" Tsuruno said, and there's an explosion upstairs. "Be careful!"

"Well, that's the idea." Jared said, coming into view. "It'll backfire, massively."

Jared shuts the door.

"Yes, perfect! Nice hammer whacking, Felicia. What a beauty." The Doctor said, nearby.

Meanwhile, in the kitchen diner with the stain on the ceiling.

"Felicia! Come back here with my fans!" Tsuruno said, running down the stairs with Felicia. "You can't have them!"

"Jared said it was fine for us to compete!" Felicia said, looking at Tsuruno.

"But not by being Magical Girls!"

"Grr! Let me have some fun!"

Tsuruno and Felicia barged into the room.

"Great, love it. Wait. No Melina, no crises, no interruptions." Sophie said, turning off her mobile phone. "Looks like we lost that bit."

"Why are you both here?" Craig asked, looking between Tsuruno and Felicia.

"We were seeing how it would fight with each other's weapons against a Witch." Tsuruno said.

"What's a Witch?" Sophie asked.

"Witches are crazy! They're like bang bang! And whoosh!" Felicia said.

The Doctor pops up behind the sofa, "Hello."

"What? More interruptions!" Craig said, angrily.

"Sorry about that. I was trying to get Tsuruno and Felicia back upstairs." Jared said, entering the room. "And the Doctor was daydreaming."

"I thought the Doctor was going out with you, Tsuruno, and Felicia?" Craig asked.

"Just re-connecting all the electrics. It's a real mess. Where's the on switch for this?" The Doctor asked, taking out a normal screwdriver.

"They really are just on their way out." Craig said.

"No, I don't mind. I mean, if you don't mind." Sophie said.

"I don't mind. Why would I mind?" Craig asked.

"Then stay. Have a drink with us."

"What? Do we have to stay now?" The Doctor asked.

"Do you want to stay?" Craig asked.

"I don't mind."

"Okay." Sophie said.

"Great." Craig said.

"So, you guys tried to swap weapons." Jared said, telepathically.

"You said we can!" Felicia said, telepathically.

"Did I? Nah. I said for you two to get out of trouble."

"We tried!" Tsuruno said, telepathically. "So, whatcha want us to do now?"

"Just shut up."

A little later, the Doctor is still working on the wiring loom around his neck.

"Because life can seem pointless, you know, Doctor, Jared, Tsuruno, and Felicia. Work, weekend, work, weekend. And there's six billion people on the planet doing pretty much the same." Sophie said, sadly.

"Six billion people. Watching you two at work, I'm starting to wonder where they all come from." The Doctor said.

"Doctor, not the time for that." Jared said, rolling his eyes. "We're trying to be normal here."

"So, the call center." Tsuruno said. "That's great and all. Like Banbanzai. But what do you really want to do then?"

"Don't laugh. I only ever told Craig about it. I want to work looking after animals. Maybe abroad? I saw this orangutan sanctuary on telly." Sophie said.

"Well, what the hell is stopping you?" Felicia asked.

"She can't. You need loads of qualifications." Craig said.

"Yeah, true. Plus it's scary. Everyone I know lives round here. Like, Craig got offered a job in London. Better money. He didn't take it." Sophie said.

"What's wrong with staying here? I can't see the point of London."

"Well, perhaps that's you, then. Perhaps you'll just have to stay here, secure and a little bit miserable, till the day you drop. Better than trying and failing, eh?" The Doctor asked.

"You think I'd fail?" Sophie asked.

"Everybody's got dreams, Sophie. Very few are going to achieve them, so why pretend?" The Doctor asked, trying the wine and lets it pour back into the glass from his mouth. "Perhaps, in the whole wide universe, a call centre about is where you should be."

"Why are you saying that? That's horrible."

"Is it true?"

"Of course it's not true. I'm not staying in a call centre all my life. I can do anything I want." Sophie said, and the Doctor smiles. "Oh, yeah. Right. Oh, my God. Did you see what he just did?"

"No, sorry, what's happening? Are you going to live with monkeys now?" Craig asked.

"Monkeys aren't that bad!" Felicia said, angrily.

"They're pretty cool!" Tsuruno said, happily. "Yep, yep!"

"God, I wonder how Yachiyo keeps both of you at bay." Jared said.

The fanboy is leaning against the wall, curled up in a ball.

"It's a big old world, Sophie. Work out what's really keeping you here, eh?" The Doctor asked.

"I don't know. I don't know." Sophie said.

Mikazuki Villa / TARDIS…

"Touka! Nemu! Ui!" Jared said, running up to the three Magical Girls.

"How's my big sister?" Ui asked. "Is she safe?"

Touka is making Jared a cup of coffee.

"I'm fine." Iroha said, leaning against the TARDIS console. "We're all fine."

"One day left." Touka said. "That's how long you guys have."

"How did you figure that out?" Jared asked. "Oh."

Touka tossed Jared the pendant with the unimaginable power and Aqours, "There. Elfnein shipped it to me instead. Knowing you would do this hijinks."

"She is right. You do like making things complicated for us." Nemu said. "It's kind of fun. And less dangerous too."

Doctor's room / Mikazuki Villa...

The Doctor has build a serious mega-gizmo.

"That looks like one of the Uwasa we made." Nemu said, looking at the device. "Craziness."

It includes a bicycle wheel, an umbrella, a rotary clothes line, a lamp shade and the bicycle's pedals, with a rake, a broom and an oar as outriggers and the traffic cone on top.

"It won't work." Touka said, her hand on her hip.

"It will, Touka. Right. Shield's up. Let's scan." The Doctor said, as he sets it spinning.

"What are you getting?" Amy asked, over Jared's Augma.

"Upstairs." The Doctor said.

Tardis…

"No traces of high technology. Besides magic from Magical Girls. Totally…" The Doctor said, over the speaker.

Doctor's room…

"...normal? No, no, no, no, no, it can't be. It's too normal." The Doctor said.

Tardis…

"Only for you could too normal be a problem. You said me, Iroha, Yachiyo, and Sana could be lost forever. Just go upstairs with Jared, Tsuruno, and Felicia." Amy said.

Doctor's room / Mikazuki Villa...

"Pond, seriously. I don't know if it's the same thing up there. In this reality. We could get yourselves killed." Jared said, sipping a cup of tea.

"You guys really are lost." Touka said.

"If we could just get a look in there. Hold on."

"Now I see why you want us here." Nemu said, looking back at Touka. "We need to look up stuff. Accessing data banks and the floor plans."

"Yup." Jared said, happily. "You guys are more remote, but you got this."

"Jared's right. You three work with Amy, Yachiyo, Sana, and Iroha. I want to know its history, the layout, everything." The Doctor said.

Tardis...

"Meanwhile, we shall recruit a spy." The Doctor said, over the speaker. "Come on, Jared, Tsuruno, and Felicia."

Flat…

Craig is starting to tidy up when he decided to examine the stain more closely, "Rotmeister."

He touches the stain and there is a hissing sound.

"Ow! Ow." Craig said.

Corridor…

Next morning, the Doctor is carrying a tray with Tsuruno behind him.

"Craig? Craig?" The Doctor asked.

"We brought breakfast. Don't worry! It's normal and safe. Bit ot English with Chinese." Tsuruno said, smiling. "A Banbanzai flare was put into it. Yep, yep!"

"Craig?"

Craig's room…

"Craig. Craig, Craig, Craig. I told you not to touch it." The Doctor said.

"Ugh." Felicia said, entering the room. "Did you guys cook breakfast yet? What's that?"

There is a green line up the inside of Craig's forearm.

��I don't know." Jared said, right behind Felicia. "I think it's dangerous."

"It is." The Doctor said. "It's an unfamiliar and obviously poisonous substance. Oh, I know what'd be really clever, I'll stick my hand in it."

"Tsuruno, Felicia, time to bring Craig back to life." Jared said, smirking. "Make him breathe again! You go girls!"

"Let's do this!" Felicia said, angrily.

Tsuruno and Felicia hits Craig's chest.

"I think we hit him too hard." Tsuruno said.

Craig gasps.

"Come on, Craig, breathe. Thems are healthy footballer's lungs." The Doctor said.

Flat…

"Right, I spent a lot of time with Hinano." Jared said, running back to the kitchenette. "And with Elfnein."

"Do you know what you're doing?" Felicia asked.

"Yup." Jared said, and he motioned towards the tea bags. "Help me stuff them in there!"

"Okay! Okay." Felicia said, as he and Jared stuffed as many teabags as possible into the commemorative Royal Wedding teapot. "Geez! Take a chill pill."

"This is on the spot too. Come on, science. We got this. Better reverse the enzyme decay. And excite the tannin molecules."

Craig's room…

"I hope this works." Tsuruno said, as she poured the super-strong tea straight into Craig's mouth.

"I've got to go to work." Craig said.

"Nope, you're not working. You'll be resting." Jared said, looking at Craig. "One more day, okay?"

"It's the planning meeting. It's important."

"You're important. You're going to be fine, Craig." The Doctor said.

"You will." Jared said, smiling. "I promise."

The Doctor, Jared, Tsuruno, and Felicia leaves him at 7.15.

Craig reawakens at 14.45, "What? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no."

Call centre…

"Oh, afternoon." Michael siad.

"I'm so sorry, Michael. I don't know what happened. I've got no excuse." Craig said.

"Well, that's not what my screen is telling us, Mister Lang." Tsuruno said, looking at the computer screen.

"What're they doing here? What are you doing here?" Craig asked, now noticing Touka, Nemu, and Ui. "And who are they?"

"They're friends of mine." Jared said, eating some chocolate chip cookies.

"If that's how you want to speak to us!" Felicia said, annoyed. "Then take your customs elsewhere, got it?"

"No, no, no, that's one of my best clients." Craig said.

"Hello, Craig. How are you feeling? Had some time to kill. I was curious. Never worked in an office. Never worked in anywhere." The Doctor said.

A straining ladle is twitching on the desk.

"You're insane." Craig said.

"Leave off the Doctor and Jared. I love the Doctor, Jared, and their mates. Touka, Nemu, and Ui were brilliant in the planning meeting." Michael said.

"You went to the planning meeting?" Craig asked.

"Yup. We were your representatives." Ui said. "Touka was a bit insistent to help."

"No I wasn't." Touka said.

"Yes, you were." Nemu said.

"Wasn't."

"Were."

"Guys! Don't fight." Ui said.

"Anyway, we don't need Mister Lang." Felicia said, phone near her ear. "He was so rude!"

"Here you go, Doctor, I found some custard creams." Sophie said.

"Sophie, my hero." The Doctor said, picking up the snacks.

"Hi, Craig. I went on the web, applied for a wildlife charity thing. They said I could always start as a volunteer straight away. Should I do it?" Sophie asked.

"Yeah, great. Yeah, good. Go for it." Craig said.

"You look awful." Ui said, sadly. "You should get some rest."

"Go to bed." Jared said. "Ui, Touka, Nemu, take him to his room. He needs to lie down in bed."

"Right."

Ui walked away with Touka, as the pink haired Magical Girl is carrying Craig. And Touka is pushing Nemu.

"Okay. Who's next?" Tsuruno asked. "Hello, Mister Joergensen."

"Can you hold for a moment? I have to eat some pork buns." Felicia said, tossing a pork bun into her mouth.

Doctor's room/ Mikazuki Villa...

The mega-gizmo is still spinning. And the bedroom is still connected to Mikazuki Villa.

"What the hell?" Craig asked. "How is there a whole other house attached?"

House…

A cat is coming down the stairs.

"Hey there, kitty." Jared said, looking at the cat. "You're cute."

"So, have you been upstairs?" Tsuruno asked, looking down at the cat. "You have?"

Flat…

"Grr! Come on! What's up there? What's behind that door? Show us!" Felicia said, angrily. "This cat isn't doing anything!"

Craig is throwing darts when he hears the Doctor, Jared, Tsuruno, and Felicia's voices.

"Felicia, calm down." The Doctor said, nearby. "Oh, but that doesn't make sense."

"So, has anyone gone upstairs?" Jared asked, nearby. "A lot of people? Good. That's really good. What kind of people?"

House…

The cat meows.

"Oh, people never came back down. That's really bad. But why is this like a Witch?" Tsuruno asked.

Craig opens the door.

"Oh, hello." The Doctor said.

"I can't take this any more. I want you guys to go." Craig said.

(Jared's POV)

Flat…

"You can have this back and all." Craig said, handing back the money.

"What have we done?" I asked, grabbing Tsuruno's hand. "We didn't do anything wrong."

"For a start, all of you talking to a cat."

"Lots of people talk to cats." Tsuruno said.

"And everybody loves the four of you…" Craig said.

"Is he jealous of us?" Tsuruno asked, telepathically.

"Grr. This is Ui all over again!" Felicia said, telepathically.

"Doctor, Tsuruno, Felicia, you're better at football than me. Jared's friends are better than me at my job, and now Sophie's all oh, monkeys, monkeys, and then there's that." Craig said.

Doctor's room / Mikazuki Villa…

"It's art. A statement on modern society, Ooo, ain't modern society awful." The Doctor said.

"Me and you four, it's not going to work out. You guys have only been here three days. These have been the three weirdest days of my life." Craig said.

"Craig, your days will be weirder if we go." I said, squeezing Tsuruno's hand.

"It was good weirdness. It's not, it's bad weird. I can't do this any more."

"Craig, hi." Ui said, entering the room. "They can't leave. Not now at least."

"And we cant see the point of going anywhere else." Tsuruno said. "Yep, yep!"

"They're right. Madrid? Ha, what a dump. We have to stay." The Doctor said.

"No, you don't. You lot have to leave." Craig said.

"We can't go. This is similar to a Witch hunt for them." I said, looking over at Tsuruno, Felicia, and Ui.

"Just get out!" Craig said, annoyed.

"Okay, this is something I'll seriously regret. Yachiyo, I'm sorry. But I have to tell him everything. He has to know." I said, Augma on my head. "I need you to trust me."

"I trust you." Yachiyo said, her voice over the Augma. "This is for the greater good. And for us getting out of here."

"Okay. Background knowledge about the Doctor, me, and Magical Girls."

I head butt Craig.

"Argh." Craig said.

There is a very rapid montage. Craig is seeing everything about the Doctor, Magical Girls, and me. What we all do in life.

"Oh." Craig said.

"Ow." I said, letting go of Tsuruno's hand. "Man! That hurt."

"You're a…"

"Yes. I'm a huntsman. And Tsuruno, Felicia, Touka, Nemu, and Ui are Magical Girls. The Doctor's a Time Lord."

"From…" Craig said.

"Shush. Yes, I'm from a parallel universe. And the Doctor's from Gallifrey."

"Doctor, you've got a Tardis." Craig said, looking at the Doctor.

"I know. I travel with the Eleventh Doctor. Okay, this is another detail. From my foreknowledge."

I head butt Craig again.

"Argh." Craig and I said, at the same time.

"Amy! Amy!" The Doctor said, from a memory. "Iroha! Yachiyo! Sana!"

"Felicia saw my ad in the paper shop window." Craig said.

"Yup, with this right above it. Which is weird, since Amy didn't write it yet." Tsuruno said, taking out a note saying Doctor - this one no 79a Aickman Road Amy xx.

"Time travel. It can happen." The Doctor said.

"That's a scanner. Doctor, you used non-technological technology of Lammasteen! And Jared, you had Shizuku's help to combine this room with Mikazuki Villa!" Craig said.

"Shut up!" Felicia said, annoyed.

"Ui, you stay in Mikazuki Villa. Things could get dangerous from here." I said, looking at Ui.

"You bring back everyone home safe." Ui said, as I walked over to her. "You promise?"

"I promise."

"Okay. I'll see you later." Ui said, walking over to the other side.

Mikazuki Villa disappeared with Ui, disconnecting itself from the Doctor's room.

"Argh." Craig said.

"I'm never doing that again!" I said, with the Augma still on. "Better off with telepathy. Girls?"

The Doctor turned on his Bluetooth.

"That's Amy Pond, Yachiyo Nanami, Iroha Tamaki, and Sana Futaba." Craig said.

"Oh, of course, you can understand us now. Hurrah. Got those plans yet?" The Doctor asked.

Tardis…

"We're still looking for them." Sana said.

"We worked it out. With some help from a cat. The Doctor, Tsuruno, Felicia, and I used telepathy to speak with it." I said, over the speaker.

"A cat?" Iroha asked.

Doctor's room…

"Yes. We know he's got a time engine in the flat upstairs." The Doctor said.

Tardis…

"He's using innocent people to try and launch it." Tsuruno said, over the speaker. "That's bad."

Doctor's room…

"And whenever he does. They get burned to a crisp! Which is why...argh! Which is why there is a stain on your ceiling." Felicia said, annoyed.

"From the ceiling." Craig said.

"Nice job correcting, Felicia. Craig." I said, smiling.

Tardis…

"And you, Miss Pond, Miss Tamaki, Miss Nanami, and Miss Futaba nearly get thrown off into the Vortex." The Doctor said, over the speaker.

"Lovely." Amy said.

Doctor's room…

"The hell was that?" Felicia asked.

Crash!

"People are dying up there." Tsuruno said.

"People are dying up there? People are dying. People are dying. People are dying." Craig said.

"Yup. That's what is happening." I said, as there is another time loop. "And it is bad."

"Girls." The Doctor said.

"They're being killed." Craig said.

"Someone's up there."

House…

"Doctor? Jared?" Amy asked, over my Augma.

"Wait, you guys." I said, grabbing Tsuruno's hand. "Someone is dying upstairs. Come on! Let's see who it is."

"A pink ring?" Tsuruno asked.

"The hell does this belong to?" Felicia asked.

We see Sophie's pink key ring in the door.

"Sophie. It's Sophie that's dying up there! It's Sophie!" Craig said, terrified.

Tardis…

"Doctor! Jared! Tsuruno! Felicia! Argh!" Iroha said. "This is bumpy!"

Upstairs door...

"Where's Sophie?" Craig asked.

"Wait, wait." The Doctor said.

Tardis…

"Girls?" The Doctor asked, over the speaker.

"Doctor, are you upstairs with Jared, Tsuruno, and Felicia?" Yachiyo asked.

Upstairs door…

"Just going in with them." The Doctor said.

"But you can't be upstairs." Sana said, over my Augma.

"Well, of course we can be upstairs." Tsuruno said. "Yep, yep. There's two floors!"

Tardis…

"No, you can't be. We have the floor plans. It's a one story building." Iroha said, looking at the scanner.

Upstairs door…

"She's right. There is no upstairs." Amy said, over my Augma.

Timeship…

"What? What?" Craig asked.

"Oh. Oh, of course. The time engine isn't in the flat, the time engine is the flat. Someone's attempt to build a Tardis." The Doctor said.

"No, there's always been an upstairs." Craig said.

"It's like a Witch's labyrinth." I said, and the door we have just come through flickers on and off. "Or a smaller scale of one. I swear to god. This is awesome. But think about it, has there ever been an upstairs?"

"Yes. No. I don't…" Craig said.

"Grr, it's like my magic! A memory relapse! Or a perception filter. Whatever it's called. It tricks your memory." Felicia said, annoyed.

"That explains why I know it so well." Tsuruno said. "You used that trick on us all that time."

Scream.

"Sophie! Sophie! Oh, my God, Sophie!" Craig said, looking at Sophie.

Sophie is being pulled towards the central console by electricity, "Craig."

"It's controlling her. Like a Witch's kiss. It's as powerful as one. If not more. It's using its will to make her touch the activation switch." I said, squeezing Tsuruno's hand.

"That's not going to have her." Craig said.

Sophie's hand is pulled onto a dome shaped control.

The Doctor uses his sonic screwdriver, "Ah, deadlock seal."

"You've got to do something." Craig said.

"We're trying. Let us think, Craig!" I said, when Sophie falls back. "This will take a few."

"What? Why's it let her go? So, okay." The Doctor said.

A man suddenly appears, "You will help me."

"Right. Stop. Crashed ship, let's see. Hello, I'm Captain Troy Handsome of International Rescue. Please state the nature of your emergency." The Doctor said.

"The ship has crashed. The crew are dead. A pilot is required." The autopilot said.

"You're the emergency crash program. A hologram. What, you've been luring people up here so you can try them out?" The Doctor asked.

"I won't let that happen. Not anymore." I said, holding out Aqours. "Time for this first test. With it no longer having all that extra power."

"Sorry. Restarting time remaining. Five hours. Please wait." Aqours said, it's voice coming from the pendant.

The hologram flickers between old man, young man and girl.

"You have got to be kidding me!" I said, annoyed. "A fucking power drain! Or a reboot. Now is not the time for one!"

"You will help me. You will help me. You will help me." The autopilot said.

"Craig, what is this? Where am I?" Sophie asked.

"Hush. Human brains aren't strong enough, they just burn. But you're stupid, though. You just keep trying." The Doctor said.

"Seventeen people have been tried. Six billion four hundred thousand and twenty six remain." The autopilot said.

"Seriously, what is going on?" Sophie asked.

"Oh, for goodness sake. The top floor of Craig's building is in reality an alien space ship intent on slaughtering the population of this planet. Any questions? No, good." The Doctor said.

"Yes, I have questions." Sophie said.

"The correct pilots have now been found." The autopilot said.

"Son of a bitch! I knew you were gonna say that!" I said, letting go of Tsuruno's hand.

Tardis…

"He means you, Doctor, Jared, doesn't he?" Iroha asked.

Timeship…

"Yup. It does." I said, trying to pull away. "Tsuruno! Felicia! Help!"

The Autopilot uses its energy to drag the Doctor and I towards the console, "The correct pilots have been found. The correct pilots have been found. The correct pilots have been found."

Tardis…

"What's happening?" Amy asked.

Timeship…

"It's pulling me in. The Doctor, too. We're the new pilots." I said.

Tsuruno and Felicia are tugging on my hoodie as hard as they can.

"Could the both of you do it?" Amy asked, over my Augma.

Tardis…

"Could you fly the ship safely?" Amy asked.

Timeship…

"No, I'm too much for this ship. The Doctor is too. The karmic destiny I've gathered by traveling through time and space. It's too much. And the Doctor's under the same boat." I said, sadly.

"My hand and Jared's hand touches that panel, the planet doesn't blow up, the whole solar system does." The Doctor said.

"The correct pilots have been found." The autopilot said.

"No, that's the worst choice ever. Yep, yep. It is. Please stop this!" Tsuruno said. "Let them go!"

"Doctor? Jared?" Iroha asked, over the Augma.

Tardis…

"It's getting worse." Iroha said.

Timeship…

"It doesn't want everyone. Craig, it didn't want you." Tsuruno said, looking at Craig.

"I spoke to him and he said I couldn't help him." Craig said.

"Well, it didn't want Sophie before. But now it does! Grr! What has changed since then?" Felicia asked, stomping her feet.

"No. No, I gave her the idea of leaving. It's a machine that needs to leave. It wants people who want to escape." The Doctor said.

"It wants me. Because of what I was doing for the longest time. I was running away from my past. And I'm running towards my future. It involves me and Team RWBY. Us defending Remnant together. Craig, you don't want to leave!" I said, with Tsuruno and Felicia losing their grip on my hoodie. "You're Mister Sofa Man! You're what every character in an isekai was! All they did was eat some fries, go to bed, and watch some TV!"

Tsuruno and Felicia fell down onto the floor.

Tardis…

"Doctor! Jared!" Amy said, terrified.

Timeship…

"Craig, you can shut down the engine. Put your hand on the panel and concentrate on why you want to stay." The Doctor said.

"Craig, no." Sophie said, sadly..

"Will it work?" Craig asked.

"Yup. It will." I said, smiling.

"Are you sure?"

"Positive! It has to work! It worked last time when all this was a show on TV for me."

"Is that a lie?"

"Nope. It's not a lie. It might work. Just do it, Craig."

"It's good enough for me. Geronimo! Argh!" Craig said, putting his hand on the nearest control panel.

"Jared, are you okay?" Tsuruno asked.

The Doctor and I are released.

"I'm fine." I said, happily.

"Craig!" Sophie said.

Tardis…

"Doctor! Jared!" Iroha said. "It's getting worse!"

Timeship..

"This is really bad!" Felicia said, as smoke is coming off Craig's hand. "What can we do?"

"Craig, what's keeping you here? Think about everything that makes you want to stay here. Why don't you want to leave?" The Doctor asked.

"Sophie. I don't want to leave Sophie. I can't leave Sophie. I love Sophie." Craig said, happily.

"I love you, too, Craig, you idiot." Sophie said, putting her hand on Craig's.

Tardis…

"Doctor! Jared! Hurry! We don't have much time!" Yachiyo said.

Timeship…

"Honestly, do you mean that?" Craig asked.

"Of course I mean it. Do you mean it?" Sophie asked.

"I've always meant it. Seriously though, do you mean it?"

"Yes."

Tardis…

"Ugh! This is taking way too long!" Felicia said, over the speaker.

"What about the monkeys?" Craig asked, over the speaker.

Timeship…

"Craig, this whole adventure has been a romantic comedy! The whole planet is about to burn! For fuck's sake, kiss the goddamn girl!" I said, annoyed.

Tardis…

"Kiss the girl!" Sana said, grabbing Iroha and Yachiyo's hands.

Timeship…

"Is that it?" Tsuruno asked.

Craig and Sophie kiss, and his hand is released from the panel.

"That's it." I said, running up to Tsuruno for a hug. "Yay!"

The Tardis stops shaking.

"Took them long enough! Romance comedy! Grr! Never put us in another one of those. Ever!" Felicia said, looking at me.

"Doctor? Jared?" Amy asked, her voice over the Augma.

Tardis…

"You've done it. Ha ha!" Amy said, excitedly.

Timeship…

"You've done it." Amy said, over my Augma.

"The screen is showing zeros. Negative ones, negative twos, negative threes." Yachiyo said, over my Augma.

Tardis…

"Big yes." Amy said.

Timeship...

"Help me. Help me. Help me. Help me." The autopilot said.

"Big no." The Doctor said.

"Help me. Help me. Help me. Help me."

"And this adventure is almost over." I said, happily. "I can feel it."

Craig and Sophie come up for air.

"This has been one hell of an adventure." Felicia said. "You could have picked anything besides a romantic comedy."

"Did we switch it off?" Craig asked.

"Emergency shutdown. It's imploding. Everybody out, out, out!" The Doctor said.

"Help me. Help me. Help me. Help me. Help me Help me. Help me. Help me." The autopilot said.

Tardis…

"Doctor? Jared?" Iroha asked.

Aickman Road…

"Help me. Help me. Help me. Help me." The autopilot said, nearby.

"What's next after this adventure?" Tsuruno asked, looking at me.

The Doctor, Craig, Sophie, Tsuruno, Felicia, and I run down the stairs and outside.

"I don't know, the Mightiest Magical Girl of Kamihama." I said, looking around. "I need a break. Maybe hang out with Team RNJR, Weiss, and Yang again."

The top floor and roof turn into the Timeship which then flies away, leaving a totally incongruous one story building at the end of an entirely two storey terrace.

"Seriously?" Felicia asked, looking at me. "You're always hanging out with them."

A man walks by carrying a child.

"Because he needs to." Tsuruno said. "Haven't you figured that out by now?"

"Look at them. Didn't they see that? The whole top floor just vanished." Craig said.

"Perception filter. There never was a top floor." The Doctor said.

Flat…

Craig and Sophie are snogging on the sofa.

"So, you're coming back to us then." Weiss said, over my Augma. "You accomplished the mission?"

"Yup." I said, happily. "It took a while. Way longer than it had to."

"What will you do now?" Ruby asked.

"Hang out, I guess. With you guys."

The Doctor enters from his room with me, "Come on. We don't have all day."

"True." I said, as the Doctor and I turned our backs discreetly before leaving the keys on the sideboard. "I need to see my Little Red again."

"Oi." Craig said, angrily.

"What, the both of you are trying to sneak off?" Sophie asked.

"Yup, you two were about to make out. And I, um, don't want to see it. It's your business." I said, frowning.

"I want you to keep these." Craig said, tossing me the keys. "Because I trust you a bit more than the Doctor."

"Thanks, Craig." I said, sticking my tongue out at the Doctor. "I might come back. And see you again."

"No, you won't. Not for a while, at least. You want to be with Team RWBY when they reunite. I've been in your head, remember. I still want you to keep them."

"Really. Thanks."

"Thank you, Doctor, Jared." Craig said, looking between the Doctor and I.

"Sophie. Now then. Six billion four hundred thousand and twenty six people in the world. That's the number to beat." The Doctor said.

"Yeah." Sophie said.

"See you soon, someday." I said, frowning. "In a year. Maybe."

The Doctor and I leave.

"What do you mean?" The Doctor asked. "In a year."

Behind the refrigerator with the photograph of the Doctor in his football kit with Tsuruno, Felicia, and I is a crack in the wall.

"Spoilers." I said, smirking.

Tardis…

"Back in time. You need to go to the paper shop and leave that note for me, Jared, Tsuruno, and Felicia." The Doctor said.

"Right little matchmakers, aren't you? Can't one of you find me a fellow?" Amy asked.

"I thought you weren't the marrying kind, Amy." I said.

"I'm not. But I still want one. That isn't Vincent."

"Oh, rectifier's playing up again. Hold on. Amy, you write the note and I'll change that will." The Doctor said. "Since Jared said no."

"You got a pen?" Amy asked.

"Make sure it's a red pen." The Doctor said.

Amy goes through the Doctor's jacket pockets and finds the ring box.

"A wedding ring?" I asked. "Or a promise ring?"

Amy opens it, and remembers a crack in her wall, "I think it's an engagement ring."