CHAPTER 36: THEN.

Mum called me on the fourth ring, and this time I had the courage to pick up the phone. After the frustration and tears, I had slept on this cold floor and the first ring woke me up but I ignored it until the fourth.

"Hayzen, are you okay? What are you saying? What were you saying?" She was also in shock. I did expect that, of course, in shock. I did not know what to say, everything was just difficult for me to process. I did not know where Kate had gone, I did not know anything. All I knew was I was alone. At least that's the only thing I knew.

"Mum, I'm going to be a father." I steadily stated, expecting her to say something even if it meant her raising her voice at me. The whole holiday I did not even visit, but she knew I was doing the chemist job. She had taught me manners, how to live, communicate, and protect myself. She sure did teach me, but I just did not know. All this happened, something I accepted, but it was still something that I had not realized, that it was still an incident I had not processed. I never thought of parents being involved in this matter, but of course, they had to be involved. Now Kate's mother hated me, the slap still lingering on my thick scalp. My mum still hadn't said anything, she did not... so I just hung up and let myself feel the situation.

Kate was everything to me, the reason I worked, the reason I pushed myself out of my comfort zone, the reason that determined my mood swings, the reason that rendered me happiness. Her voice was the only comfort I sought; it was always worse if I finished a day without hearing her voice, and her chuckle when I cracked a joke, or when she watched something amazing on television. Yes, we bought the television... and a fridge. So I switched it on the television I mean, and inserted the flash drive in the back of the television, and then started watching all our videos together.

The jokes about how tall the baby would be, how cute he would be, and the name we would give the child. We were happy. I watched them to at least lessen the heaviness in my heart. Maybe this would make me stop feeling more disoriented and pained, but I knew I was lying to myself, as I subconsciously found myself calling her number, and it went straight to voicemail. Then my mother's text came in, 'We will talk about this later!'

I knew this would be the largest call. She would almost call a conference meeting with my uncle, her brother, and maybe try to make me regret everything I have done. But I knew the water had already spilled, it spilled a long time ago, and this was not how I imagined things would turn out or, better, how information would reach my mum. I can't imagine what she's going through, so I decided to call Funky instead.

They were quite close with Kate, so I guess he knew her friends, and after the first ring, he answered,

"Yoh."

"Hey Funky, it's me, Hayzen," I stated.

"Yeah, what's up."

"Have you heard from Kate, or can you give me her friend's number?"

"Yeah, she's at Melissa's in the school hostels." He stated and gave me her number orally as if he had memorized it.

"Thanks, man." I stated and then literally just left my apartment, as I called Melissa, the friend. It took some time for her to pick up, but she did, after all...

"Hey," an angelic voice answered.

"It's Hayzen, Kate's... I mean, am I speaking with Melissa?" I asked.

"Yes, how can I help you?"

"Is Kate with you?"

"No," she stated, but I heard Kate's laugh in the background.

"Isn't that Kate?" I asked, but she just clicked a little and said, "She's not ready to see you."

"Can you give her the phone? I just want to talk about the situation and everything." I pleaded. I was not sure why Kate did not want to speak to me. All along it was her mum who caused the drama, I just wanted us to talk, that's all.

"She doesn't," the girl stated, and hung up, and I found myself stranded, as I had already started my walk. It was almost seven at night, I didn't realize how fast the day went by, it felt like everything went too fast, I don't know. So I just found myself entering one of the pubs that students liked, there seemed to be someone celebrating their birthday, and for the first time, I felt I needed to lessen... I had never drunk my whole life, I hated the idea of drinking alcohol, totally... but today, I just wanted to take it in, and maybe forget everything, forget my fears and forget my pains. So I just sat there, called in for three bottles of vodka, chrome I guess I don't know, I was never fond of drinking, and some water was brought in, I think it was warm, and started my drink, alone.

Maybe they had realized I was so alone, the students partying. As one of them came to have a conversation with me, he was some dude. He spoke about how he hated parties, and his girlfriend had brought him here. He was just rambling and blaming everything on his girlfriend, and I just blurted,

"My girlfriend, eight months, no drink." I was drunk, but he chuckled at what I was saying. Maybe realizing that I was serious, he looked at me with a 'what the fuck' face.

"She's with a short, dimpled friend, Melissa. She does not want to see me. Her mom, here, in New York, spoke to me like a baby, and right here (showing my right cheek) slapped me, hard. I just want to talk."

"Melissa?" he asked, and I just nodded.

"Melissa," I repeated, and just chuckled.

"Melissa is here, she's my girlfriend."

"Not your Melissa, dude," I stated, chuckling, "short, blonde hair, dimples, fair face, white."

"Yes, let me go and call her," he stated, and I was left there stating 'dumbass'. Melissa would never leave an expecting friend for a fucked-up party. As if I knew Melissa anyway. I just knew her complexion; she always visited, but when I arrived it was either she was heading out or had already left.

But, yeah, it was her, right when the dude came in.

"Melissa," I stated, my eyes lighting up, and trying my level best not to sound drunk. She might also be one of those damned friends who say their friends should not have drunkards as boyfriends. "Where is Kate? Kate, I just wanna see Kate, please, she... Kate..." I don't know how much I stated the word Kate, but the next thing I knew I was following the boyfriend and Melissa into a certain room., having walked all through the pathways outside the pub we were in. I think I forgot exactly the part between me wanting to see Kate and me being here. But on my realization, I did not want to sound drunk. So as they opened the door, I just entered without even being told to come in.

"Kate, darling, come let's go home." I did not realize her mother was seated on one of the beds. I did not realize Kate was crying. I did not realize the man who stood behind the door... so I continued speaking, "Kate, I will be a doctor, and you a designer... yeah. I will make sure you have the best place in the world, just bear with me, a little, one little, I promise, things will be good..." and my mouth was shut by the man behind.

"Tall, middle-aged... hello?" I drifted into the utmost disappointment state. Thank God I was drunk; it did not feel disappointing.

"Leave," he stated.

"I..." I wanted to speak, but he stated again,

"Leave, or I will call the guards."

"I will... I am not... no drugs..." I stated, and the next thing I knew I was being dragged outside by one of the guards, and I heard the man state, "Don't ever look for Kate... ever."

"I can walk on my own," I stated, as Melissa and her boyfriend followed me outside, and I sat on one of the stones outside the large black gates of the hostels.

"Can you go home well?" The dude asked, and I just nodded.

"I can manage," I stated. If they weren't here, I would be really tearing up, but I was a man, no pain can tear me. "Who are they?" I added, asking to confirm.

"Ooh, those, her parents, they are really mad at her."

"What?" I asked surprised., and I knew I had screwed big time.

"It's okay, dude, come let's get you home," the dude stated as he helped me stand, calling a taxi, and making sure I left. But I knew I just could not go to the room. No, it would be hard for me to concentrate, really. So I just told the taxi to take me to the pub, bought takeaway alcohol, and headed home. I knew I would drink this. I did not care about the consequences. I had tarnished my name in the very eyes of the people who I would call parents. What was I to fear anyway?