City of Silence

"Go back to Bluegate? But why?"

Jeremy, Suri, and Morgan had all gathered in the living room of the Safe Haven after I'd claimed I had urgent news to discuss. Perplexed, deeply concerned looks were now plastered on their faces as they stared at me with intent.

I thought hard for a while, wondering if I should tell them about the dream I had, and about Connie. After realizing it would most likely be a strenuous chore to put into words, I decided to simply test their trust in me. "Consider it my intuition," I said. "I have a feeling that there's something bad happening in Bluegate, and I want to check it out. I have a right, you know. My mom and Aki live there. I want to make sure they're okay."

"If that's what you're really thinking, than I see no problem with it," Jeremy said with encouragement in his tone. "But I hope you know that you're not allowed to stay there, Hanako. It's vitally important that you keep that in mind."

I nodded solemnly.

Jeremy then turned his head slightly and exchanged glances with Morgan and Suri. "Well, since it's only a few miles away, there's no train ride needed, so I guess we're set to go. Are you ready, Hanako? Is there anything you want to say or do before we leave?"

I shook my head.

"Okay, then let's go."

+++

The air was warm and welcoming, the sky pleasantly vibrant, and all seemed happy and well outside. The comforting atmosphere helped ease my nerves for the most part, but I couldn't help but feel a tiny bit anxious for what lay ahead.

The snow had melted entirely at this point, making our walk require much less physical exertion. I was still wearing boots, however, along with the long black coat Jeremy had lent me way back when I had first met him. The heat never bothered me, so despite the lack of cold air, I kept the coat on. I guess you could say it made me feel more secure.

About 10 minutes into our walk, Morgan approached me with a concerning question, which he kept to a low whisper to prevent Jeremy and Suri from overhearing. "Hanako, what's the real reason you want to go to Bluegate?" He said with much curiosity. "Are you homesick?"

"That's not it. I just...have a feeling. It's hard to explain."

"It's okay, I'm not going to force you to tell me. But to be honest, it kinda hurts when you keep things from me, Hanako."

"I'm sorry, Morgan. You're just going to have to trust me, okay?"

Morgan looked at his shoes in disappointment, and he sighed deeply. "Okay."

Soon enough we had arrived at the entrance of Bluegate. To my relief, the city appeared to be in the same condition it had been in at the time I had left 7 months ago. I permitted myself a slight smile as I gazed upon the wonderful familiarity of it all.

"So this is Bluegate," said Suri, her eyes scanning each and every building as we passed them by. "Not bad. Not bad at all. It's awfully quiet here, though."

"Yeah, this city isn't usually very lively around this time of year," I said, turning my head to glance at a window that had a 'closed' sign on it. "It's almost like the people hibernate. That is, until the week before Christmas. Then this place lights up with smiles, laughter, and all sorts of great things that seem to show up out of nowhere."

"You really like it here, don't ya, Hanako?" Jeremy remarked, no doubt taking notice of the acute nostalgia dawning on my face.

"I do..." I nodded my head once, struggling to fight back tears as memories of my childhood flooded my mind. I caught a glimpse of a young boy sitting outside on a park bench with an older man, presumably his father. The father held the boy's hand tenderly, seeming to make a silent oath never to let it go as the boy swung his feet back and forth, laughing softly and innocently with joy in his heart. I knew that I was merely imagining it, how both the boy and the father so closely seemed to resemble Dad and me, but what wasn't it my imagination was the bittersweet sensation it recreated within me.

"Hanako, are you okay?"

"Yeah, Morgan..." I quickly rubbed my misty eyes with my wrists and laughed. "I'm fine. And anyway, while we're here, Morgan, was there any place you wanted to stop by?"

Morgan's face lit up at this, and he suddenly dashed in front of me, pointing in another direction as he began to walk backwards. "I want to go to Lloyd's Bakery!" He exclaimed. "It's been a long time some we've seen him!"

I looked over my shoulder at Jeremy and Suri. "What d'ya say, guys? Want to go to a bakery while we're here?"

Luckily for Morgan, Jeremy and Suri seemed on board with the idea, so the four of us went straight to the bakery, Morgan eagerly leading the way.

It wasn't too busy that day, only a few regular customers sitting inside reading newspapers and nibbling on some bread or warm cookies. Lloyd, the owner of the bakery, was talking with a young lady at the counter, when suddenly his head shot up, and his eyes locked on me.

"Well, speak of the devil, look who it is..." Lloyd's jaw dropped, and he ran a hand through his raven-black locks to peel them off his forehead, using the other to dig into the pocket his his navy blue apron. By the time he'd appeared in front of us, there was already a cigarette dangling over the edge of his twitching lips, though it was unlit. "I never thought I'd see the day..."

"Lloyd, it's good to see you again!" Morgan said with a cheerful grin. "Hanako wanted to come to Bluegate for a visit, and I thought it'd be a crime if we didn't stop by your bakery while we were here. So how are things with you? Have you been well?"

Slightly dazed, Lloyd shook his head and let the cigarette fall to the floor, which he then crushed beneath his shoe. "Uh, yeah, I'm...fine...just fine," he said, but his mind seemed to be drifting. "Hanako...do you mind if I speak with you in private?"

I furrowed my brow in confusion as I shot the baker a funny look. "Why?"

"Just come here."

Before I was given the chance to resist, Lloyd seized my arm and dragged me over to the other end of the shop where there were currently no customers. He forcefully set me down in an empty chair—as though I needed the assistance—and sat in one on the other side, then proceeded to trap me in a one-way stare-down whose purpose was undoubtedly to drain answers from me. And even though he said nothing at first, I knew Lloyd well enough to predict what he was thinking.

"I can't tell you that."

"Can't tell me what?!" He exclaimed vehemently, slamming his fist on the table and causing a sugar container, two napkin holders, and my self esteem to rattle.

"You were going to ask why I left this city, weren't you?"

Lloyd narrowed his eyes concernedly at me, making a subtle head tilt as if he were trying to figure me out. "Hanako, you disappeared for, what is it...6, 7 months? I was worried sick about you, ya know." He let out a frustrated sigh, then slumped back in his seat, reaching his hand into the pocket of his apron and popping yet another cigarette into his mouth.

Just as he had taken out his lighter and begun moving it towards his mouth, I remarked, "Don't you think you should quit smoking those? Or at least, quit smoking in the bakery. It's quite rude."

"Hey, it's my bakery," he muttered in a puzzlingly indignant tone, "which means my rules. And anyway, quit changing the subject! You're still going to answer my questions, Hanako. I thought we were pals, so why are you keeping secrets, huh? Why did you run away from home, leaving your mom with nothing but a measly phone call?"

"Were you in court that day?"

Lloyd stopped for a moment, as if I had just pressed the pause button on his life. "What do you mean?" He said, looking completely clueless on the matter. "No, I wasn't in any court."

I groaned in disgruntlement, fighting back the urge to seize Lloyd by the collar and smash his head against the table in hopes of knocking a little sense into him. Instead, I gritted my teeth and mumbled, "I was sent to court, Lloyd. I killed someone."

"So?"

"So?!" I hissed, and I could feel my eyes beginning to seethe with ire. "What do you mean 'so?' Murder is not something you can just shrug off, Lloyd! I was sent to court, and I would've been banished from the city, too, had it not been for Jeremy over there." I threw out my hand and directed Lloyd'd attention toward my one-eyed friend, who was currently hunched over and examining the many assorted pastries in one of the bakery's glass displays.

"If this man saved you from banishment, then why did you run away?"

"Because I didn't really have a choice!" I snapped. At the sudden realization my blood pressure was rising, I somehow found it in myself to relax my nerves, and I sat back in my chair, exhausted. "I'm sorry, okay? I am. A lot has happened to me since then, and to be completely honest with you, I still haven't been able to wrap my head around it all yet. I've lost a friend who meant a lot to me. I watched him die, Lloyd, right in front of me. Do you know what that does to a person? It's scarred me, Lloyd, and I don't think I'm going to recover from that pain for a very long time. Within these past months, I've had the opportunity to travel all across the country. I've meant many wonderful people, and also many not-so-wonderful people, all of which have burned their names and their faces and their words into the surface of my mind; it's become too much for me to bear, and I...I just want..."

I endeavored to trim the story as short as possible, but I just couldn't manage to keep my mouth shut. Somewhere along the way I found myself getting emotionally involved with my life story, and without my noticing, tears had begun to fill my eyes. "I just...want things to go back to the way they were...before Dad left."

Lloyd leaned over the table and wiped my tears with the sleeve of his own shirt, which reeked of both cigarette smoke and burnt bread. "You've always seemed like a strong-willed kid to me. This is the first time I've ever seen you cry, Hanako," he said with a kind voice. "Can't say that I feel accomplished, or the least bit happy, but I have to admit I never thought I'd see the day when Hanako Giovanni Izumi shed a tear."

(Editing)

It took some time for me to get myself together, but Lloyd was patient with me, and once I had finished rubbing my eyes dry, the baker slightly raised an eyebrow, as if to ask the question, 'are you alright now?' I nodded slowly in response.

"I have a question for you now, if you don't mind," I said quietly. Lloyd lifted his head and met my gaze to show he was listening. "Have you seen my mom lately? And Aki? Do you know how they're doing?"

"Do you want me to tell you the truth?"

Lloyd's expression had transformed in an instant, and he now seemed to stare straight into my soul with something akin to despair. I opened my mouth to speak, but found it virtually impossible to do so.

My mind was beginning to waver.

I had to brutally force the words up out of my dry, throbbing throat, all the while bracing myself for a harsh reply as I whispered, "Yes, I want the truth."

"Aki's been sick for 3 months now."

And there it was. That sharp, merciless sensation in my chest that seemed equivalent to being stabbed by a thousand knives. "Sick?" I said, almost inaudibly, as I allowed the thought of my little brother in pain to sink in. "Sick...for 3 months...?"

"I'm afraid so." Lloyd spoke with heaviness of heart, his voice soft but clear, and he appeared to be maintaining his composure for my sake. "Your mother stopped by the bakery just last week, and she told me about Aki's condition. It doesn't seem to be improving, she kept on sayin'. In fact, the doctors say it's getting worse. I payed him a visit once or twice, and I can honestly say I've never seen the boy so...sad. Not just because of his condition, but I can tell there are a lot of things on that kid's mind, too."

I steadily began to collect the words that had jumbled themselves in my brain and began to put them in the right order, slowly, but soon enough so that my message could reach Lloyd before I lost track of my voice.

"If Aki has been suffering for this long, then I suppose there's only one thing to do..."

I pushed back my chair and stormed off towards the bakery door, leaving all of my friends in a sudden state of helpless confusion.

"Hanako?"

"Hanako, where are you going?!"

"Come back here, Hanako!!"

I ignored them all. Having acquired a one-track mind, I hurried to my house as fast as my legs could take me, steadfastly determined to see my plan through to the end, even if it meant exposing to Aki what I really was—a demon. A demon with the power to heal the damaged body. As I turned the doorknob to my house as quietly as possible, I held my breath and made a silent wish that Lloyd had exaggerated Aki's illness, that, in truth, it was nothing more than a little fever.

"Hello?" For some inexplicable reason, I felt the need to keep my voice low. The house was void of sound. I glanced down at the floor and noticed two pairs of shoes lined side by side in the hallway. One pair was my mother's high-top boots, the other being my brother's light-up superhero sneakers. These were the footwear they wore most often, so I decided it was safe to presume they were both home. But how would they react upon seeing my face? I shifted nervously at the thought of rejection. However, I called out one last time. "Hello? Is anyone home? It's me, Hanako."

No answer. I walked gingerly down the hallway until I reached the staircase, which I then climbed with gentle footsteps. And with each time I lifted my feet to move forward, something gradually began to wind itself around my head and enter my ears. It was a voice, a voice that unmistakably belonged to my mother. I approached Aki's bedroom with even greater hesitance now, scarcely managing to muster enough courage to knock on the door.

"Is that you, Lloyd?"

"No, Mom, it's only me. Hanako."

For a minute, I was convinced that she would never open the door to me. But before I could escape the quandary I so suddenly fell into, I became acquainted with the nostalgic sensation of being wrapped in my mother's loving arms, the very same sensation I had gone so long without.

"Hanako~..."

She was sobbing into my shoulder now tears of bittersweet relief, and there was something about the warmth of her fingers as she ran them fondly through my hair that urged me to hold onto her.

"I came back..."

My mother pulled away from the embrace, her eyes stained red, a crooked smile on her face as she gazed deeply into my eyes. "I'm so happy to see your face, Hanako," she whispered. "I'm so sorry...for everything. Please, come over here and see your brother. He's missed you so much." She took my hand and pulled me into the room, then over to where Aki was lying in the middle of the floor on some blankets and pillows. His eyes were closed, his face ghostly pale. I lowered myself to the floor to sit beside him, all he while watching the gradual rise-and-fall of Aki's chest. It almost seemed as though he weren't breathing at all.

+++

"He's been like this since early September," my mother spoke solemnly. "It was so sudden, too. I happened to be working late that day, and I didn't come home until around 11:00 at night. But I didn't want Aki to think I'd forgotten about him, so I gave him a call before I left work to tell him I'd be home soon. It began to snow sometime on my trip back, a little too quickly and a little too heavily for me to travel at a normal speed. And by the time...I finally arrived home, I found Aki lying outside on the porch, unconscious. He must have been waiting out there too long...that's what the doctor told me. There wasn't much he could do for Aki. Every couple weeks or so the doctor has been checking up on him, but still, I'm left with the same results." My mother drew in a deep breath through her nostrils and wiped her eyes again, mouth quivering as she choked out, "I don't know what I'm going to do, Hanako. I can't bear the thought of losing Aki..."

Neither can I... I placed my hand on Aki's forehead. His temperature was dangerously high. As I cupped my hand over his cheek, he began to twitch and mumble in his sleep. "Aki?" I whispered. Soon my little brother opened his eyes, and he looked up at me.

"Hana~...ko...?"

His voice was so fragile—not lively as it used to be, as it should have been. I feared it would shatter if he tried to speak any more.

"Hey...hey, Aki, it's me, your big brother. Did you miss me?" I tried to smile for him, but the longer I gazed at his pale, sickly face, the more it made me struggle.

"Of course...I missed you." Aki blinked several times, each time his eyes becoming more visible. A radiant smile stretched across his face, and he whispered softly, "I missed you lots, Hanako."

"I missed you, too, lil' buddy," I laughed, fondly tucking his thick ginger hair behind his little ears. Even for a boy his age, Aki always did seem so small to me, now more than ever. I suppose that was what drove my desire to hold him close, to feel responsible for whatever that happened to him, because if anything I should. I was his big brother, after all.

"I'm sorry that I ran away, but I'm back now, and I'm going to stay here until you're better."

"Will you stay forever?"

I wanted to say yes. I wanted to give him a cheerful nod and say, 'of course, Aki, I'll be here with you forever.' But I couldn't. Because of what I was, because of the choices I had made, there was simply no way I would ever be able to stay here. I had only planned to heal Aki of his sickness—that is, if it were possible. Then, I would leave this city and swear never to return.

"Mom...could you give Aki and me some privacy, please?" My mother didn't speak a word. She gave a simple nod of understanding, then left the room and left Aki and I alone. I remained silent for about a minute or two, struggling within myself to find the right things to say at a time like this. After all, Aki still didn't know I was a demon, so I had to thoroughly organize my thoughts before I spoke them. "Aki, I-"

"Why did you leave?" Aki interrupted me. His chocolatey brown eyes were wide with curiosity, but at the same time, they looked hurt. "Why did you leave, just like daddy?"

I tensed up at his sudden inquisition. Straightening myself out, I hurriedly thought up an excuse. "Your big brother was going on a long trip with a couple of his friends, that's all. I didn't think mom would approve of it, so I ran away."

"You're lying...aren't you?"

How easily he sees through me... "I'm sorry, Aki....I really am. The truth is, I only came back to this place because this girl in my dream told me too. It sounds strange, and you may not believe me, but it's true. And I'm grateful that she did tell me to come here, because I just may be able to help you."

Aki's eyes quivered as he tried squinting at me. "Help me...? Did you become a doctor or something?"

"I guess you could say that," I chuckled, cracking a smile. "But how about we put it into different words, eh? Let's say I learned a few neat tricks on my time outside of Bluegate."

Aki's expression lit up with excitement, and he would have gotten up out of bed if I hadn't have stopped him in time. "What do you mean tricks?" He said, eyes flooding with fascination. "Are you a wizard, Hanako?"

This may just work out for me. "Yeah," I smirked. "I am a wizard."

"Cool..."

"Would you like me to show you what I can do?"

"Yes, please!"

Now's my chance. I can heal Aki of his sickness, without him finding out about the monster I really am. That's what I was thinking at the moment, that is. The truth was, I wasn't exactly sure what I was going to do. It had been months since I had helped Eliana recover from the poison wound she had, so would I still remember how to do it? Would I even be able to help Aki when he needed me the most?

Just then, I heard a creaking noise from behind me. I swiftly turned my back and discovered that my door had been opened a crack, and two, small hands gripped the side of the door. "Who's there?" I called. The hands were too small to be my mother's. "Who are you and what are you doing here?"

"May I come in?"

The voice was quiet and sounded innocent, so I figured it was safe to let her in. "I suppose, but don't come any closer than that," I said, grabbing Aki's hand to hold on to.

The anonymous visitor poked her foot through the crack, then gently set it down on the floor. She tilted her head so that only one of her eyes was visible. There was a green cloak covering her head, so I couldn't see the color of her hair. But as she ever so cautiously stepped fully into the room, I took immediate notice of a white cotton eyepatch over her right eye and identified her as the heterochromia girl in my dreams.

"Connie? What are you doing here?"

Aki squeezed my hand to get my attention. "Hanako? You know this girl?"

"Uh...sort of..." I replied hesitantly. "We met once, but-"

"I'm his girlfriend."

"I'm sorry, what?"

Connie smiled warmly, taking in both Aki's and my expression as she walked over to us and sat down on her heels. Aki looked up at her with his jaw dropped, obviously stunned by the false statement she had just made. However, he didn't know it wasn't true. "His girlfriend?" Aki said, gasping quietly. "Wow, I never thought you'd ever get a girlfriend, Hanako."

"Hey, that's not nice...but she's not my girlfr-"

"Don't be shy, Hanako," Connie said with a laugh. "There's no need to be embarrassed by me. Aki, do you mind if I talk to your brother for a moment? I'll be real quick, I promise."

I stared at Connie in disbelief. Is she serious? I thought. She shows up out of nowhere and breaks into my house, and now she expects me to leave Aki's side? No...she's insane. But as I heard Aki breath a sigh and quietly whisper the word 'okay,' I felt as though I had to go with her now.

Connie took my arm and pulled me into the hallway right outside my room, leaving my door open just a crack. She looked at my brother as he lay his head down on his pillow and closed his eyes. "He's such a sweet boy isn't he?"

"Why are you here?"

Connie faced me, furrowing her brow in confusion of my harsh tone. "Hanako, I'm on your side. You don't need to act so rudely towards me. I'm not here to hurt you, I promise."

"Well, then why are you here?"

Connie didn't answer my question at first. She continued to take constant glances of Aki, a slightly sorrowful look in her eye. "You were going to do it, weren't you?" Her voice dropped to the lowest volume possible, immediately causing me to increase my level of concern.

"Do what?"

"You were going to try to use Destiny's Song to heal Aki, right? Don't you remember, Hanako? You can't do that. Aki is sick, not wounded. Your sword can't heal the sick."

My heart nearly stopped, and I was suddenly filled with a painful realization. That's right... A shattered voice echoed in my head. I can't heal the sick, only the wounded, which means...I can't...save Aki.... As I stood in front of Connie, trembling like a leaf in the wind, I threw my hand at my head and grabbed a handful of my hair. "He's...he's going to be okay, though...right? He'll get better..."

Connie shook her head slowly. "Hanako, don't you remember what I told you in your dream? I told you this city was collapsing."

"But I don't understand..." I clenched my fists and tried desperately not to make a fool of myself in front of her. "That's not enough information for me to understand what's...what's going on...."

It was almost like deja-vu. She and I standing before one another, her tender voice speaking to me slowly and softly, delivering bad news to me like a deadly poison. And as she took my hand in hers once again, I felt a wave of despair wash over me like a flood. "This reality is falling apart," Connie said, beginning to sound like a broken record, to be honest. "And it all begins with this city. The city of Bluegate, the city created from the images of your fantasy. It's feeding off your mind, Hanako. It is a part of you. Your family...your friends...they are also a part of you. And I'm sorry...I am truly sorry that I am the one who has to tell you this..." With that cliffhanger of a sentence, Connie threw her arms around me and hugged me, hiding her face in the crook of my neck before finishing her statement. "Your brother is about to take his last breath."

Without hesitation, I shoved Connie away and rushed back into my room, where I immediately fell to my knees beside Aki. I took his face in my hands and repeatedly called out his name, but I received no answer. His face had lost all color at this point, and my heart was beating faster than ever. "Aki, please, wake up! I'll do anything! We can play a game together, if you'd like. Or maybe, we could go on a trip! How about that? You always did say you would like to go on a trip with me. Aki? Hey, buddy, open your eyes, I'm right here. Aki. Aki? Aki!!" I quickly pressed my ear to his chest to check for a heartbeat.

Nothing.

"No...no, this isn't right..." My throat clogged with tears, and I watched them fall from my eyes and drop onto Aki's face. I slipped my hand under his head and lifted it up, pressing it against my own chest as I held on to him as my life depended on it. "This isn't right...this isn't fair...why him?"

"It's the only way," Connie said with a slight break in her voice. "There are certain things that must take place for you to make the choice you are destined to make. The choice that will decide everything...this must happen. I'm sorry, Hanako. I can't even imagine the way you're feeling right now. But I wanted you to know that it will be alright...everything will be alright. Maybe not now, but eventually." Then she smiled. "Your father used to tell you that, didn't he?"

I held Aki tighter. "Yeah..."

"You'll see your father on Christmas, Hanako, but not in the way you'd expect. I want you to be prepared, and I want you to be strong. Hold on to the one thing you have. Hold on to the one thing that gives you hope...and I promise....that you'll get through this."