CHAPTER TWELVE

AFTER CHILDBIRTH OR NO BABY FACTOR 

The man of the house has a lot of responsibilities to bear naturally, which is automatically activated immediately after your wife becomes pregnant and she is expecting a baby the whole game changes you are no longer two in the house you both are now preparing for a new member of the family the whole game changer comes with a lot,  you feel excitement as well as a new sense of responsibility,  then a sense of belonging knowing you both are about to be a father and mother of a child or children as the case maybe you could be expecting a boy and you get two girls (twins ) or two boys (twins) or a boy and a girl ( twins).  

How cool is that? A family of just two people living as one entity becomes three or four as God or nature would have it just in a matter of months.  The word that should ring a bell to the couple is responsibility.  

The journey of having a baby is a long bumpy easy ride which by the way is worth it.  

There is a change in your lifestyle,  you can even move out of your old crib to suit your family.  

New accommodation

New properties mostly baby stuff 

Change in the sleeping pattern The man tends to give his wife and baby space to allow for bonding,  which is necessary.  

You might want to work on adjustments to spending and budget 

Foodstuff which includes baby food should be put into a huge consideration. It doesn't come cheap but it's worth it.  

Less sleep and fewer sexual activities because your wife is worn out spending sleepless nights with the babe. You might want to put her into consideration if she says she's not in the mood.  

During her gestation period, she may likely have severe mood swings and may have confused feelings;  

She may be thinking a lot about giving birth and when she has finally done so she's thinking about taking good care of the baby.  

At this point, your priorities just have to change. It's no longer about you or how you feel, it's now about how everybody feels remembering your wife is still recuperating from the childbirth trauma.  

At this point If you as a man are too sexual or have high libido it becomes a problem,  some women after childbirth is yet to recover from the surgery and may need time to heal before being able to participate in any sexual activities that are when the drama begins the man in question might need to keep a lot of female contacts available for hookups to satisfy his sexual needs.  

After childbirth, the woman's body is no longer the same. Her vagina becomes loosened up a bit. This case does not apply to all women. Some are lucky to have their vagina tight and well taken care of after the child's birth; after all, it is an elastic tissue.  

While some women may have a wider vagina after a child's birth, once the husband notices it he is left with two choices: voice it out or die in silence.  

If your woman is understanding communication is the key,  voice it out she has to undergo a series of yoga sessions and kegel exercises to bounce back in shape.  

If she is not compassionate enough to listen or bother to work hard to build her body into shape for you and she is lazy, she may rant on about taking care of the baby while you focus more on your task of providing for the family instead of bothering her on the fact her vagina is loose,  there goes the problem,  as a man you might cheat.  

She adds excess weight and she is no longer the hottie you married officially it's now a problem you miss the old her and there are many single women out there ready to give you the good sex you are missing provided you foot the bills there we go an unfaithful man is unleashed. 

Females neglect even the simplest sexual needs,  you might need yoga exercises and lessons on the kama sutra to get back in great shape 

  Sex motivates and nurtures marriages,  as a woman it is in your place to learn 

Yoga 

Sex styles 

Kegel exercises 

How to dress to bring out your sex appeals 

Treat your husband to romantic meals by going out on dates 

Taking a break with the family.  

When you lack any of these you will eventually disconnect with your hubby.  

The woman in this position bears a lot of sorrow in her heart.  

She is faced with rejection in noticing her husband longer pays heed to her or shows her any interest with a huge decline in lovemaking, there is a huge miscommunication and distrust she can't disconnect from her so easily because she might have to deal with the stigmatization as a single mother. 

She is forced to bear the shame of rejection,  and if the in-laws from her husband's side don't like her, this is an avenue to get separated.  

Most women in today's marriage especially in their African counterparts are faced with mockery from other ladies and she is ridiculed,  as she painfully endures.  

If it's in a Muslim home,  the man would bring in another wife to satisfy that sexual void he is missing while his wife is emotionally drained from rejection after childbirth.  

Her body is no longer in shape, that is the ultimate sacrifice to be paid for childbirth