[7] AMNA

AMNA

The two days given to me to look after my Jida has expired. I despise going back to the palace, but I don't have a choice. I need to make little dinars to keep me and my Jida alive.

Today is a bit different from other days. I feel like everything in the universe is stopping me from returning to the palace. Even the sun is scorchingly hot. At first, it was earlier this morning. I woke up to find my dress-a brown long gown-soaked in milk. I know it must be a cat that would have spilled it. I'd have taken that slight opportunity to stay a day more with Jida, but I dread Tahira's reaction. The words she told me when I ask for a break rings in my ear. 'Take two days off. Add another day, and you might as well stay home and never return.' It sounds appeasing, but I don't want to lose this job. I need it.

I sigh when the palace's entrance comes into view. Talking about the palace, I remember Jawad. I still have to thank him for standing up for me. I didn't expect that, but I'm grateful. The frightened expression Ayman had on was very pleasing to watch. That serves him right. I wouldn't have stopped Jawad, but he looked like he wanted to kill him. A part of me felt scared also. I shouldn't be the cause of the Amir commiting murder.

I remove the cloak over my shoulder and adjust the black veil over my head properly as I walk into the palace. I need to first change into the maid's uniform in my room-in the maid quarters-before starting with my today's chores. The strange feeling I felt when I was walking towards the palace resurfaces when I get to the maid's quarters.

I don't know whether I'm imagining things or people's gazes are lingering on me longer than it should. I pass through women sweeping the hallway leading to the maid quarters, but immediately they see me, they stop and start staring at me weirdly. I reduce my pace to watch them, do I have something on my face? I rub my face, but there's nothing there. Or do they need me to greet them?

"Assalamu alaykum." I say, but they are still silently watching me. Some are glaring at me. I avert my gaze from them quickly and continue walking to my room. I see some girls standing close to my room. They are murmuring, but immediately they see me. They are glaring at me. I push past them, but not after hearing one of them say 'whore.' Maybe they're talking about a story or another person because they can't call me a whore. Why are they standing in front of my room?

Dalia isn't in the room, but I see her slippers on the floor close to the wooden single bed. Meaning, she didn't go far. I pull my dress to change into the maid uniform, but I'm distant. I can't stop thinking of how all the women and maiden were looking at me. I can't think of a valid reason which might have caused such reaction.

I hear a commotion outside. The door is locked, but I can still hear someone yelling. I move closer to the door while braiding my hair into one piece. That's Dalia's voice. Why is she yelling? Dalia doesn't yell unless she's furious. "Move away from here. You don't have anything to do, but gossip? Find something to do. I'm sure you have numerous chores!" the door suddenly flings open. I shake because I didn't expect that. She closes it back with a loud thud.

Immediately Dalia sees me, I notice something. Her eyes are glistening with tears. It isn't falling, but it coats her white eyeballs. "Why are you cryi-" I stop when she suddenly hugs me tightly.

I draw circles with my hands on her back. "You can never do such, why are they lying against you." She whimpers against my neck. I break the hug to look at her because her words are only adding to my confusion and curiosity.

"What do you mean Dalia?" My eyes search hers. I squint my eyes. I'm trying to read her expression. I can only see worry and pity. "Dalia, talk to me!" I shake her shoulders, "I don't understand anything today, and everything is just-"

"You... don't... know?" she asks like she's careful with her words,

"Know what Dalia, I don't know anything. Please make me understand."

"Amna there's news going on about you..." she holds my hands. I look down at our hands. "And it isn't pleasant... I don't know how to say it."

"Say it... it can't be that worse right?" from Dalia's reaction, I think the news might be worse than I can imagine. I haven't done anything wrong that I can think of.

"Amna, the rumours said... they said."

"Just talk Dalia."

"They said you're having an illegal affair." I feel all my walls crashing down. I'm standing physically, but I've fallen emotionally. I remove my hands from Dalia's hold.

"Dalia, but how? I can't... I didn't... I can never commit Zina." My lips are trembling. The heaviness of the accusation is weighing me down. The punishment for fornication is 100 lashes, but that's only if one is guilty. I'm innocent, and whoever ignited this rumour has slandered me.

Dalia holds my hands again. She rubs my fingers with her thumbs. "I know Amna. I trust you, it will be over. It will be over." She assures me. I'm a bit calm now, but even if the rumours stops. Some will still have negative thoughts about me, and I don't want that. I don't.

The air is quiet and gloomy now. Dalia keeps rubbing my fingers and I keep trying to hold the tears forming in my eyes. The peace didn't last long when suddenly the light wooden door flings open. I quickly go behind Dalia, my face hiding behind her neck.

"We are looking for Amna." One of the two guards that barged into our room says.

"What for?" Dalia asks. The two guards look at each other. One of them pushes Dalia away, and then they come in face with me. They say nothing to me. They each grab each of my arms swiftly.

"Leave me alone, leave me!" I yell. I try to wriggle out of their hold, but it's too strong. I kick my legs and continue protesting, but they both didn't budge. They keep dragging me, and I'm almost out of the room. I watch Dalia lying on the floor struggling to get up. Tears I've been holding flows through the side of my eyes.

"Nothing will happen, Amna, Allah is with you." Dalia's words are the last thing I hear before I'm out of the room completely. They keep dragging me, people watches as they do that. I quit trying to escape, I relax and allow them to do whatever they were sent to do.

They drop me on my knees when we get into Tahira's room. I should have known she's the only one capable of treating someone like this. I sneer when I see her approach me. The black shining dress she wears fits her and her black soul appropriately. She gestures for the guards to leave, then she faces me. Her arms folded against her chest. She is looking down at me while I'm on my knees.

"I always knew you weren't clean... but I don't know you'll stoop so low to commit fornication." She spits close to me, then rubs her foot on it to show how disgusted she's.

"I didn't do anything like that!" I yell. I can take any form of insults, but can't withstand slander.

"Shush!" she places her index finger on her lips. "Shut your mouth up. You'll explain that to the sultan after you've been given 100 whips over your rotten body."

"Whatever you say, I'll prove myself innocent... and there's no any witness because it didn't happen."

"Firstly, you can't prove yourself innocent because no one will believe you and who told you there isn't a witness." She smirks. The mockery playing on her face tells me she knows more.

"What are you up to... why are you-"

"Guards!" she claps her hands. They appear like their body was made only for her commands. She points at me. "Take her to the dungeon."

"No, leave me, get your hands off me." I scream, but they ignore my protests and pick me up. I can't believe this is happening. Just a little lie and my life is turning upside down. I didn't offend anyone. I don't know who will have started this rumour about me and why the person started it. Oh, Allah. see me through this, I have no one except you.

We walk through the dark stairs towards the dungeon. The place is dimly lit with burning wood held in the iron sconce attached to the stony wall. The sounds of our foot tapping the stony, uneven floor makes echo as we proceed. They are some few guards around the place, but I don't see anyone who isn't a guard.

The guard holding my left arm releases it to open the high iron cell. I watch as his fingers unlock the bulky iron lock tied with an iron chain. This is happening before my eyes and I can't do anything. I'm about to be thrown into the cell, and I'm helpless. I've to try at least.

"Please spare me. I don't want to go in there. I'm innocent please." I face the guard holding my right arm. I'm crying, anything to make him take pity on me and avoid being thrown into this enclosure. "Please, for Allah's sake." The guard turns away from me like he would rather not see me face. What am I doing? The guard has no power. He's only answering to the command of his master. I continue crying until finally. Finally, I'm inside my worst nightmare... I'm inside a cell in the palace's dungeon. Sadly, for a crime, I didn't commit.

****

I'm still inside the dungeons and no one has bothered to check on me. Who will? Even if Dalia attempts to see me, the guards will stop her. Ya Allah if my Jida finds out she'll be very worried. The thought of how my Jida will react makes my heart clench.

My back is resting on the hard stony wall and my knees are raised up to my chest. My bare feet are numb because of the cold floor. I'm praying for Allah to get me out of this situation. I know every situation I'm in has a reason for happening, but I pray it ends soon. Ya Allah make it end soon. Don't let me get punished for a sin I didn't commit.

My stomach grumble and I remember I haven't eaten anything apart from the milk I drank while coming to the palace in the morning. I hope they don't intend to keep me here until I die of hunger. I pick a pebble of stone from the floor and throw it outside the cell. I keep throwing it until I hear footsteps approaching.

"Keep shut. What are you doing?" the guard says in his deep voice.

"I'm hungry." I whine. The guard eyes me than he leaves. Maybe I'll die of hunger then.

I hear the sound of chain clinking against each other from a distance. The sound gets louder. My brain tells me to open my eyes, but I'm unable to. Now I'm hearing someone talking. I fight myself until I flutter my eyes open. I see a guard in front of me, but there are iron bars separating us. I try to move back, but there's a wall behind me. That's when I remember where I'm. "Who are you?" my voice is coarse, and my vision is blurry. I rub my eyes to clear the sleep out of my eyes completely.

"Don't be scared. It's Haider."

That name rings a bell in my head. Haider... Haider oh yes. He's the guard who offered me a cloth to clean my tears the other day. "Okay, Haider... what are you doing here?"

"I brought food." I follow his finger direction, and it lands beside me, that is when I see the dish arranged. My mouth waters immediately I sight it. I don't know for how long I slept, but I know I've gotten hungrier. I say Bismillah and quickly dig my hand into the food. I'm halfway eating when I remember I have someone close to me.

I give a puppy eyes with the food still packed in my mouth. "chukran." I try to say shukran, but the word didn't come out properly. He smiles-a wide one. His smile is the assuring one. The one that says you can be happy even in bad times. He waits until I'm done eating. I pass the plate to him through the space between the bars, then he carries the plate in his hand.

"shukran." I say sincerely. I'm deeply grateful for what he has done. I can't express it, I can only pray for Allah to repay him. He smiles again, then leaves. This is the second time he's helping me when I'm in need. He's indeed Allah's sent. He's like a male version of Dalia. I don't know if this feeling is imaginary, but I feel like I know him. I feel like I've seen him a lot in the palace, but didn't pay attention to his existence.