18. Vericus

Kandra left the living room and my heart sank. The look in her face as the words came out of my mouth almost had me taking them back. After what Driak had done to get her back it was clear to me now she was not working with him. However now that he has Sloane I have no choice. Better that she hate me, I wanted her to hate me. I definitely deserved every bit of her hate. Owen as always knew exactly what I was thinking.

"Punishing yourself will not make this decision any easier Vericus."

I growled ignoring him as I eyed his wounded neck. Kandra had done a good job on stitching him up it made me wonder how she'd learnt such a skill.

"What's he talking about Ver?"

"Nothing."

I glared at Cora her words towards Kandra making my wolf angry. I knew she only did it because of her feelings towards Sloane but still. Kandra doesn't deserve any of this and when Cora realised that she'll hate herself for those words. No better the burden be on me then her.

"Vericus please think about this there must be another way."

"There is no other way Owen even Kandra sees that why can't you?"

It wasn't often Owen lost his cool but when he did it wasn't pretty. His eyes glowed in frustration.

"You can't want to hand her over?"

I growled.

"Of course not there's obviously a reason he wants her but what other choice do we have? If we don't Sloane dies. At least she will live I doubt he would go through all this trouble just to kill her so it's not like I'm sending her to her death."

Owen bared his teeth at me the pain of loss in his eyes.

"You and I both know there are far worse things then death."

My parents death flashed before my eyes. Yes there was far worse things. Even so at least Sloane would live. Maybe after we got him back we could find a way to get her back too. It was worth a shot wasn't it?

Even as I thought this I knew I was kidding myself. Once they had her no doubt they would disappear without a trace. Considering we hadn't had any luck in tracking them in the last ten years once they got what they wanted we had no hope of finding her again.

"I'm going for a shower let me know the second you hear the details of the exchange."

Owens eyes returned to normal as I passed him and Cora. Neither stopped me sensing I was not in the mood for any more talk.

I made my way upstairs where Ty stood guard outside her door. I was about to head to my room when I stopped. I had to know. Without looking at Ty I asked.

"How is she?"

He shrugged frowning.

"She cried for a bit but she's sleeping now."

I sighed knowing that she'd come up here to cry only made me feel worse.

"Go get some food and rest I'll keep an ear out for her while your gone."

Ty nodded not even hesitating as he scrambled downstairs almost like he was scared I'd change my mind. I stood at her door listening to her heart beating. Reaching for the handle I opened the door my body acting on it's own. I told myself I was just checking to make sure she was ok. I was just about to close the door again when I noticed something on the bed beside her.

Going inside I quietly approached realising what it was. It was the photo of Rix reaching out to grab it I stared at my mate. It was undeniable they looked so much alike.

"Who is she?"

My head snapped up the look into the eyes that stared up at me. There was so many questions in those eyes. Questions I didn't want to answer considering the result of this morning. However after what I was about to do to her she deserved answers. Sighing I sat down in the chair even as she sat up in the bed. My eyes still on the photo my voice full of emotion.

"Her name was Rix she was my mate."

And for the second time today I recounted my story leaving out the part about testing her DNA sample with Rixs and Owens. Kandra remained silent the whole time merely listening until I was finished. I avoided her eyes the whole time. Once I'd finished she chuckled bitterly.

"No wonder you don't trust me."

My eyes met hers. There was no anger like I would've expected. She was taking this better then I had expected. She was more mature then Sloane, it made me wonder what she had been through to make her so composed.

"It's ok you know."

I narrowed my eyes unsure what she was talking about.

"What you said downstairs. It's ok. After everything Slo has done for me exchanging myself for his life is the least I can do. I don't blame you or anyone for that matter except...myself."

"Kandra...."

For the first time since this conversation started she smiled.

"What?"

Her eyes softened.

"Sorry it's just that's the first time you've called me by my name. It's a nice change."

I stared at her unable to look away. I couldn't deny it I was attracted to her. She was beautiful the way her hair cascaded over her shoulders. The way her lips curved into smile. I also notice she liked to bite the inside of her cheek when she was nervous which was what she was doing now. Her eyes were the most beautiful thing out of all of her. The way they looked like sapphires in the light. Being near her calmed my wolf telling me it wasn't just attraction that drew me to her. There was something deeper between us. Something that I couldn't explain. I had known the draw of a mate bond but this seemed far more powerful.

"Vericus?"

Ripped from my thoughts I frowned, sadness entering my heart knowing that once I handed her over to Driak, odds are I'd never see her again.

"I'm sorry...."

Standing I avoided her eyes not wanting her to see how much this was killing me.

"For everything."

I turned to leave but she grabbed my hand to touch sending shivers down my spine making me turn to face her. Her eyes were shining with Unshed tears.

"Can you... do you mind staying with me just for a little bit? It's fine if you don't want to it's just-"

"I'll stay."

She smiled as she settled down in the bed and I sat back down in the chair. We didn't do much just talked. She told me about her travels and I told her about pack life. It was nice just having a normal conversation. One that didn't involve life changing truths. It was relaxing our talk lasting well into the night. Though I sensed that she knew this would be the last time she could have a normal conversation before Driak took her.

Knowing this as our conversation died down she became quiet. Reserved as her impending doom was written all over her face.

"When he takes me you have to promise not to let Slo blame himself. None of this is his fault."

She stared at her hands avoiding my eyes.

"Do whatever you have to do to get him through this even if you have to lie to him. Whatever Driak has in store for me tell him not to worry if there's one thing I could definitely tell when he attacked me is that he won't kill me. If this is my punishment for dragging you all into this I'll take it gladly."

Her pain had me out of the chair and before I knew it I had her in my arms. She was stunned at first but slowly I felt her embrace me back. The smell of cherry blossoms and orchards filled my nose as I tilted my head my lips near her ear.

"None of this is your fault. No one deserves to be taken against their will. Whatever happens don't let him break you. I'll come after you I'll do everything in my power to get you back."

She pulled back her eyes staring into mine. Our eyes locked our lips only inches apart. I could feel myself slipping. I wanted her there was no denying it more then that I needed her. Her closeness was affecting my body. I could smell her own arousal as our lips inched closer. Just before they connected she pushed me away.

"No!"

Stunned and confused I watched as sadness crossed her features. Turning away she put distance between us.

"Kandra-"

"I can't do this, if I do I'll never be able to go with Driak. Just....forget you ever knew me. Make Slo do the same order him to forget whatever it takes. I refuse to be another loss in either of your lives. I refuse to be the cause of more pain. I refuse to be like her."

I sat back confused. Who was she talking about? As if reading my thoughts she looked over her shoulder to where I had placed the photo of Rix on the bedside table. That's when I understood she didn't want me to go through the same pain I went through when Rix was taken from me. It was in that moment I understood. When I'd found Rix I was sure I had found my mate. It felt like what I feel when I'm around Kandra but it was somehow different. Like what I get with Rix was a somehow diluted version of what I feel when around Kandra. What did this mean? Was Rix my mate or was Kandra? Or did this mean Kandra was Rix and the body we found was the imposter? Since the DNA test were still being processed only time would tell. Though by the time they did it would inevitably be too late. I had to believe that this feeling I had towards her was just because of their similar features. Kandra couldn't be my mate since she can be ordered it just wasn't possible.

I knew however that she was right even if the pull I get for Kandra seemed to be more potent it would only mean that if history repeated itself and we started this there would be no coming back for me. Even if everything in me screamed to take her in my arms and kiss away her fears I couldn't let what was between us get stronger.

Silently I stood up from the bed grabbing Rixs photo I headed for the door. Looking back one last time Kandras head was bowed her arms around her knees. She was staring out the window as a tear escaped her eye. I forced myself to look away closing the door behind me.

"There you are Ver I've been looking everywhere for you."

Coming up the stairs was Owen looking much better now that he'd cleaned up. Putting what had happened with Kandra deep inside myself I started down the stairs.

"Come on we'll do this downstairs."

Owen looked between me and Kandras door hesitating.

"She's fine she's not going anywhere."

He stared at me a strange look in his eyes but didn't question it as her door disappeared from view.

"What's this about Owen?"

We received word from Driak with the details for the exchange. I paused mid step.

"Where?"

"huntersville."

I growled. Driak was smart. Every town had a neutral spot. I place where fighting was banned. Huntersville was Charlottes neutral zone.

"guess I shouldn't be surprised."

Once we got to the first floor I went into a room basically exactly the same as my normal office. When you live with wolves always good to have a few back up rooms. Both of us sat at our usual spots me behind the desk Owen in one of the chairs in front. Just like my old office this one was complete with a stash of scotch. Which I pulled out poring two glasses full.

"Give me the letter."

Owen handed over a bit of paper. The writing was neat, flawless like it was written from someone even older then Owen. Despite the writing the note was simple

Fox and hound

huntersville

Noon

I flipped it over to see if there was anything on the back but it was blank.

"That's it?"

"Yes since Huntersville is neutral I guess they figure no more instructions are needed."

I sighed putting the note aside as I took a sip of the scotch. Driaks face flashed before my eyes. There was something strange about him. It may be true that he killed Keary but as for him being his son? I just couldn't believe it. I would have known if Keary had a son. But if he isn't his son then who is he and why would he kill Keary? There had to be more to this then meets the eye.

"Vericus about Kandra."

My eyes met Owens as he talks.

"I except that we must hand her over to save Sloane but we can't just abandon her."

Her words came back to me. Her wish for us to forgot we ever met her. Could I really do that knowing how I felt about her? Would I be able to do that? My fists clenched, my wolf fight against the words I was about to voice.

"It's what she wants so it's what we'll do."

Owens eyes narrowed as a scowl formed on his lips he was fighting the urge to argue against me. It wasn't often Owen and I disagreed but when we did it never ended well.

"I know your only thinking about the safety of the pack but if you want this pack to be one that throws an innocent female to the literal wolves then the safety of the pack is the least of our worries."

I growled slamming my fists down standing up.

"Do not lecture me Owen This decision is hard enough without your disapproval to add to it. Do you think I want to hand her over? Do you think I enjoy any of this?"

Owens remained silent knowing full well that I didn't want any of this.

"We are in an impossible situation with no way out. Once Driak has Kandra there's every possibility we'll never see her again. It's probably better it happened before any body got too attached to her. Sloane will be the only one to take it hard it'll be up to all of us to help him through it."

Moving around the desk i started towards the door.

"We both know it's not just Sloane that's gotten attached to her. I just hope you realise that before it's too late."

My eyes met his.

"It already is too late."

His eyes widened at my words and the implications of them.

"If that's true then it's possible she could very well be Rix."

I shook my head.

"If she was I would know I've told you that already. There's no way she could be my mate she can be ordered. She doesn't have the power needed there's no point in hopeing for something that will never happen."

Owen remained silent as I left him and his defeated expression behind. As I made my way back to my room I had one thought. By noon tomorrow I'd have my brother back and everything will be back to normal. Even as I thought this I knew it was a lie.