Five

I am sitting on the porch of our home in the middle of a forest with my mother across from me looking like she just saw a ghost. I do not understand what is going on with my mother but she just asked me whether I would know that she loved me as her own.

"I do not understand what is going on. Please, mother, can you just talk to me"

Then I see a tear falling from her eyes as she speaks to me.

"There is something that I need to tell you. If I could choose, I would have told you this many years ago but the Queen has made me promise not to tell you before your eighteenth birthday..."

I am listening to everything that my mother is telling me but nothing makes sense to me. What does the Queen have to do with me and what Queen is she talking about? As far as I know, the dragon king does not have a Queen. He has many women but not Queen.

"I do not know-"

My mother takes my hand and interrupts me.

"...Just listen, please...Many years ago when you were four years old. I worked as a lady in waiting for the King and Queen of this land. They were good people but the dragons always tried to take over the kingdom. They had many battles with many dragons and so they have created an escape route should they fail in their battles..."

I am even more confused than what I was before. What is this have to do with me?

"Mother I do not understand-"

"Listen to me, William, please"

"Okay, I will listen"

"...thank you... So one night, a dragon finally succeeded in taking over the kingdom. His goal was to destroy all the royal blood so that there will be no one that can take over the throne and that he would be crowned the king..."

"The dragon king that is ruling the land now?"

"Yes, that's right"

"I didn't know you worked for the King and the Queen. What was it like?"

I see her smile as if she is thinking back and I can see a fondness on her face.

"They were very good people"

"Did they die?"

"Yes...They both died. They both died to save you..."

In an instant, a frown appears on my face as this information sounds very wrong. Once again I ask the question what is this to do with me. Why would a King and Queen die for me?

"Mother, what is this have to do with me?"

There is an urgency in my voice because if I am being honest with myself I am starting to feel nervous. I can see that there is fear behind my mother's eyes and I do not know why it is there.

"The night that the dragon king killed the King and Queen, the Queen came to me and asked me to raise you as my own...William...no, not William...your name is Xavier III and you are the only heir of the King and Queen of Ferndale. You are the rightful King of land..."

I can see my mother's lips move as she speaks but suddenly I hear nothing. I take my hand out of her hand and I just stare at her. I know that she is still saying something but all I can hear is her last words. That I am the rightful King of this land. That I am the only heir of the King and the Queen.

I have no idea how to react because I do not just have one emotion but more like a million. I feel angry because my mother did not tell me earlier. I feel frustrated because it does not make sense. I feel surprised because that can not be. I feel completely lost.

"Please, honey say something"

I am usually quick with a comeback but right now I do not know what to say. I want to stand up and run away but at the same time, I want to stay. I do not even know if I know this woman in front of me anymore. How can she not be my mother? She gave me so much love but all along I am somebody else's child.

Suddenly it hits me that I am an orphan and that my parents died at the hand of the dragon king. I want to hate the dragon king but I do not know my mother or father.

"Will-...Xavier, your mother gave me this letter to give to you on your eighteenth birthday..."

She calls me Xavier but it does not make sense because my name is William and then she puts a letter on the table from a woman I have no knowledge of. I just sit there as if I am frozen because no words are left to say.

"I want you to know that I will forever love you and I have loved you as my own but if you feel like I do not deserve your love then I will understand"

I can not believe that my own mother...oh god, no...I mean this woman in front of me would ask me if I would love her if that is the only thing that I know. Then she stands up and walks away. I can see the tears falling from her cheeks and I know this is painful for her.

I want to stand up and give her a hug like I would when she is sad but for some reason I just sit there, staring at the letter on the table. I am afraid to pick it up and open it. I am afraid that everything that my mother just told me is the truth.

What if I am the rightful King of Ferndale? What is the woman that was sitting across from me is not my mother? What if I am an orphan? What if everything that I know falls into nothingness?

I can not stop my hand from taking the letter in front of me and opening it. I have to force my eyes to read it.

"To, my beautiful boy, Xavier.

I know that you going to find this letter very strange and I will definitely not blame you if you do but even though you do not know me, I would like to ask one favor of you. Please do not blame Mary for anything that happened to you because it is I that have asked her to do this. So, if there is any blame to be placed it should be on me..."

I put the letter down because I feel something in my heart. I want to be irritated and angry but for some reason, I feel sad for this woman. It is almost as if she is speaking right into my heart. As if she knows me. I have to take a deep breath because tears are not something that a man does. Then I pick it up and read on, I need to know who I am.

"...I never wanted to be placed in a situation where I had to give away my only son. I want you to know that I did not want to give you to Mary. I wanted to keep you all to myself and make sure that you have a wonderful life but I know that you are reading this letter on your eighteenth birthday and that means that I am dead. I asked Mary to give you this letter on your eighteenth birthday and not a moment earlier because I know that you would be in grave danger if you maybe slipped up in telling someone who you really are..."

I swallow deeply because I do not know how to react to this letter. It is strange how she answered every question that I have and I feel a sharp pain in my chest which I can not explain. I take another deep breath and then continue to read.

"...Mary would have told you about how our Kingdom was plagued by dragons to take it over our kingdom and this means that one of them has succeeded. I want you to know that we have fought until the very end to save this kingdom but fate had other plans for us. I want to apologize to you that I wasn't able to raise you as my own. I wish I could be there to wipe away your tears and taught you to be a brave young man..."

Suddenly it feels like I do not want to read anymore because I know that I would not be able to be a man but I will be more like a mouse. I take the letter and quickly run to my favorite spot where I can be alone and just think.

I get up on my rock which is on the edge of a hill. It overlooks the kingdom and sometimes I come here to by myself. I open the letter and read some more.

"...There are many things that I regret I can not give you but I know that Mary is a good woman and she would have taught you in the ways that we would have wanted you to be raised. I wrote this letter to you for two reasons. The first one is that I want you to know that your father and I loved you with every last fiber in our beings. The second reason is, you need to take back what is rightfully yours. You are the King of Ferndale. Be the man that you were born to be and remember that there is nothing that can stand in your way if you know that the key is in your blood. We will love you forever Mom and Dad"

Then I see it is signed by a King and a Queen and sealed with their royal seal. I realize that this is no hoax but it is as true as it can be. I close the letter and put it on the inside of my jacket. I stare out over the kingdom and I start to think.

"Can all of this be mine? Am I truly a King?"