Chapter 330

Zesshi noticed early how many advantages she had over her companions, but there were three she intended to use now. The first… she glanced to her left. Brain was asleep on the bed. Layali curled up beside him, using his sword arm as a pillow. 'That girl… he has no idea… he thinks she still hates him.' Zesshi wondered if she should inform him of the small half elf's tantrum, but not for the first time, she thought the better of it. 'All my instincts are wrong, so why would this one be right?' She remonstrated herself and slid her legs off the bed.

Layali, thankfully, had gotten into bed with Brain after the human fell asleep, after lying in bed with Zesshi for a brief period at least. The child's warmth and affection were more welcome than the elder half-elf wanted to acknowledge, and when asleep, the picture of the word 'cute'.

The urge to pat her head came up far more often than Zesshi could quite understand. But now they slept, chests rising and falling, the soft sound of Brain's steady snoring, and not without cause, Layali's breathing was synced with that of her human guardian.

It was Zesshi's ability to go without sleep that she counted on first, and it held true. As the pair slept, she slipped out of bed, dressed, and slipped out the window, her black and white hair caught the wind and danced at her back. Thanks to being right at the border, Zesshi had at least one thing she could be confident about. 'We have an agent here.'

That was the second thing she counted on. 'Some member of the Agante at the least…' She thought, though the agents were under Cardinal Dominic's command, any scripture member could call on them in the field or when traveling and the agents were obligated to respond if it could be done without blowing cover. The half elf tried not to frown as she searched for the tallest possible building.

She couldn't pinpoint just why she didn't like them, but… dealing with them always left her looking over her shoulder. She spied a building of sufficient height and with a few quick leaps beyond the limits of humanity, she was at the top of the roof and sat down with her legs stretched out and leaned against the thatching of the high roof. The straw was old, a little moldy, and damp, but it was soft and tightly bound at least.

She then puckered up her lips, and blew. To most of the world, the whistle she let out was meaningless. Either dismissed as noise on the wind or an idle passerby. But in fact, it was no mere whistle. They were directions on how to find her.

She repeated her instructions again… and again… and again, before she saw the hand come over the top of the straw, then a hooded and cloaked figure scrambled up to join her. "Did it… have to be up here?" He asked in a hoarse whisper.

"If I knew where you were, it wouldn't have to be." Zesshi said without moving as the Agante field agent moved to seat himself at her side.

"Name?" He asked and took out a piece of paper and a quill from within his cloak.

"Scythe." Zesshi responded with her weapon identification and brought her knees up to her chest. She rested an elbow on her knee and then her head against her fist, then looked the agent over. He wasn't much to look at, but then, that was usually part of their disguise. 'Probably even his 'struggle' to get up here was a lie.' She thought.

"Need?" He asked as he scribbled down her name.

"Send an urgent message to Cenna Tachoni, Captain of the Black Scripture. Tell him I need a few things, and to step on it, or I'll tell Raymond his little secret." She wore a little smirk on her face, and the Agante wrote as she instructed, but then paused to ask…

"What secret?"

"I have no idea. But Raymond told me that everybody has a secret, so one day I used that line on Cenna to get him to pick up some things for me, and he did it. So now whenever I need a favor, I just say that. Knowing him, he's probably just taking extra naps or something." She laughed, but the agent did not.

If anything, his shoulders slumped and he grunted at her answer. "Fine… what do I say you need?"

It didn't take long for her to go over it all, and when she was done and he was about to go, she cleared her throat. He was halfway to his feet when he glanced back at her. "Yes?" He asked, his eyes roving over her one more time.

"Was there anything said about any escaped elves going over the border lately?" She asked, and the agent shrugged.

"No, some were picked off by slave catchers however, and the one responsible wasn't as strong as people thought, the Windflower scripture cornered and killed him at the river." The agent replied with an off handed shrug.

"The Windflower… not the Black?" Zesshi asked, raising her black eyebrow up an inch.

"No. I sent the request myself but… rude. Very rude." The agent clenched a fist at his side, "It doesn't matter, they're all dead now anyway."

"You said the others were captured…" Zesshi's hands began to shake as her hope that Brain was wrong was dashed apart like glass dropped on rocks, shattering into countless pieces.

"They killed two of their master's guards as they escaped. The few young ones will probably be simply resold, but the adults? By now their heads are on pikes." The agent spat onto the straw, "Anything more, or are we done?"

"Yes, we're entirely done. Get that message to Cenna, securely, by tomorrow, no one else is to know about it." Zesshi commanded and turned the full force of her anger on the agent, the flashing in her eyes promised an ugly death if she was denied, but if he understood the threat, he showed no care for it.

"Understood." He said, and clambered back down the way he'd come.

"Damn." Zesshi muttered, and stayed on the rooftop to think until morning began to break.

Nua killed her sobs almost as soon as they began, the old human that gave her the potion, briefly distressed, shuffled back away from her. "Are you, miss, what's wrong…

She turned around to face the old man and put her hands on his shoulders, forcing a happy smile on her face, she said, "The pain is gone, old sir. That's all, thank you… that… pain, has lingered for what seems like forever, and now I'm whole again thanks to you… for the rest of my life, however long that is, I'll be grateful." She flashed him a radiant smile and when he held up a clean rag in a quivering hand, she accepted it, let out a nervous laugh, and wiped her face. "I'm sorry for the outburst, old sir."

"Nah, salright, pain's no fun. Go on an, have a day, an avoid them monsters less you got some armor on next time." He gave her a toothless smile and shuffled out of Nua's way, allowing her to circle back the way she'd come.

"Thank you for treating her." Raymond said as Nua went past him, still touching her ears as if she didn't believe they were really there. "In my home… not everyone would have."

The old man snorted, "Glad I don't live there then, we neighborly here. S'better that way."

Raymond put his back to the old man and left the shop, and found Nua kneeling out of the old man's view. "Forgive my insult to your friend, master… the monster comment… I… I just had to explain it to the old man. If he knew how I really got it, it might have caused trouble for you."

She didn't meet his eyes when she spoke, and he had his doubts that she was truly sorry about the description of Dominic as a monster. But he grunted his acceptance. "Just, just get on the horse with me, we'll go back, I'll pay the bill and we'll be off again." Raymond commanded and when he got on the horse, she followed his orders.

"Master?" She said after a few minutes of silence.

"Yes?" He replied, a cold discomfort going up his spine as he guessed what she was going to bring up.

"Are you… are you going to cut them off, yourself?" Nua asked, "If-If so, we should wait until we're far away from here. It is very painful, and even if you gag me, I might be heard very easily. I don't think this place would respond well."

The cold settled in on Raymond's spine, a tingle ran up and down his body. "It's very painful, is it?" He asked her, "I've never seen it done, not that I can recall at least. Is your back all better?" He asked the question out of the blue, clunky as it was, and prayed to the gods it distracted her a bit at least.

"It's done without magic, and they saw them off, elf ears are tough, but very sensitive, when you cut me, you'll need a knife, and to either bind me or have someone hold me down… even the most broken elves… we respond by instinct to protect those. It isn't a choice. They're very sensitive, and… it's intimate, only a lover touches them…" As if she sensed his discomfort, and as if she wanted some form of revenge, Nua went on as if she were an instructor.

By the time she was done, his face was ash.

"And yes, my back is better. Thank you for the potion, My Lord." Nua said it as an almost 'afterthought' given her previous description of what she expected him to do with her when they left the town.

Their departure proved very easy, he handed Nua the coins for the payment and while he hooked up the horse to the carriage again, she ventured inside, paid the bill, and packed up his things. She emerged a few minutes later with his case on her back and trudged over to the rear of the carriage.

Raymond was already inside and felt it rock with the weight of his things being added to it, and she then opened the door to ask him, "My Lord, are you ready to leave, do we require any further supplies?" She stood stiff and formal, holding the door with one hand, the other folded behind the small of her back, and her eyes down at his feet where they 'belonged'.

Raymond however, could not find it in himself to look in her direction, he stared straight ahead and said simply… "Drive. And… find a… a comfortable place."

"Master." Nua said, then shut him within, and he was alone. He folded one leg over the other and rested his hands on his thigh as the carriage lurched into motion and he listened to her crack the whip over the horse to get them moving.

"Just make it quick." He muttered to himself. "You've killed more than you can count, you've wounded even more than that, what's a few quick slices… she'll barely feel a thing if you do it right, nobody is better with a knife than you are." He told himself.

He uncrossed his leg and set his foot flat on the floor.

He glanced to his right and left, the light was streaming in, he yanked the curtain closed, and the carriage closed in around him like a prison.

He put his hands at his side, pressing into the stuffed red cushion of the seat.

"She's just an elf… why're you getting so worked up about it? This happens a hundred times or more a day in the Theocracy, more than that if you count the half elves…" He didn't really speak the words, he only mouthed them. "You're just doing what the gods demand. A few quick cuts, then it will be over."

He crossed his legs again and put his arms on the back of the seat. "If it were that bad she'd beg me not to, like when we first met… she'd ask… or… plead. Or she'd… she's driving my carriage, she could have run away…" He still couldn't verbalize it, but his silent conversation continued as the carriage rolled on.

"She must have done something to Dominic to deserve what he did… that's how her back got hurt, that's why her ears are healed… this is all her fault." He told himself and uncrossed his legs, he shifted on his seat and then pushed himself into the corner where the seat met the carriage wall.

"She's probably exaggerating. I mean they're just ears, so what if elf tradition makes them something that important, and maybe it doesn't? She's probably lying about that to save herself a little pain. It's just a few quick cuts on the orders of the gods…" He muttered at last, giving voice to something.

"Elves have been killing my friends for generations… why shouldn't we have a little revenge… it's not like she'll die. It's a fraction of the pain her people have caused…" He lay down on the cushion and looked up at the ceiling of his carriage. "I'm even letting her pick the place, most wouldn't even give her that much…" He let out a weighty breath.

'It's no worse than what Zesshi tried to do to herself.' He told himself, recalling the story of Zesshi trying to sever her own ears, he stopped the thought dead. 'No, she didn't succeed, did she. She tried and failed.' He recalled, and the slave's claim of the kind of pain it caused, gained substantial significance.

He heard the downpour begin, the rain battering the outside of the carriage, though there was no lightning flashing, the thunder's rumble was steady at least. For a little while, the noise of the rain helped deaden his mind.

He reached to the slat between himself and his driver and slid it aside, "Are you alright out there?" He asked.

"It's just rain, My Lord." She answered, her voice raised to cover for the noise that surrounded her and the rain that was drenching her.

It didn't last, the rain came and went in only a handful of minutes, a mere flashstorm.

He ran out of time to think about it when he felt the carriage begin to slow down. He opened the curtain and looked outside, it was still overcast with thick gray clouds hiding the blue sky, but the morning fog was gone and the rumble of thunder was now very far away. One look told him that nobody was around for miles, and there was a small cluster of thin trees waving back and forth in the breeze as if beckoning them over.

The carriage rocked as she dismounted, he felt it sway back and forth, and then she was at the door, standing there holding it open. "There, my lord." She said, pointing toward the trees. "We will not be disturbed. There is no one around for a very long way." Her stony expression showed no emotion at all, a far cry from her previous waxing and waning between elation and despair. Water ran down her face still, and her clothes were soaked.

As he descended from the carriage, she held out the whip she used on the horses. "You will need this." She said, and when she met her eyes, it was he who looked away after taking the whip from her hands.

She squared her shoulders and began to walk in front of him like an unapologetic prisoner toward his execution. Her back was straight and her steps were measured. The grass bent and fell away in the path of their steps, the grove of trees was a fair distance away, but neither she nor he broke the rhythm of their steps, though the steady squelch of mud did not stop marking time for them.

She moved within, her hand caressing the pale gray bark of the trees, she looked up and down the trunk, and Raymond had to wonder, 'What is she thinking now… wishing she was home? Wishing she was far away from here?'

Puddles were abundant, though she made a point of avoiding them. She went down to her knees and bent her head forward. "May I… have something to bite down on, master?"

'It's no worse than branding cattle… it's no worse than branding cattle…' He tried to tell himself as she reached up and with delicate slender fingers, began to caress her ears for what was to be her last time.

He went to the nearest tree and drawing out one of his knives, he severed a part of a branch. He could feel her watching out of the corner of his eye while he stripped the bark and knots away from the wood and cast them aside.

"You are skilled with a knife, master." Nua praised him, and at that, she sounded even genuinely admiring.

"It's my primary weapon, monsters never expect a human to want to get close, so I do. The unexpected is a potent weapon." He replied.

"Mmm…" She said and fell silent.

"I'll try to make it hurt as little as possible." He promised.

She looked up at him with her eyes wide as blue stars, and opened her mouth without speaking.

He put the improvised gag between her teeth and she shut her jaw on it, biting down hard.

Her breath quickened when Raymond stepped behind her.

She was not the only one.

"Your people have been killing mine for generations. I lost more friends than I can count to your King and his armies…" Her breath was muffled by the gag, but he could feel her panic rising.

"The gods themselves demand this. Not me. I'm just their instrument… I don't hate you personally… I just have to…" He said, and he could feel her body tense.

He recalled her words, that she would fight, the whip she gave to him was still folded under his arm, but it fell into the mud when he reached out to grab her left ear.

She began to scream into her gag, her eyes popping open, she fell forward into the mud and threw her hands forward, but an instant later, she realized he hadn't touched her at all.

She rolled over, looked up, and he was stiff as if a paralysis spell had caught him and held him fast.

He was looking down into the puddle at her side, and, sensing the danger was at least briefly past, she pushed herself up to her knees and looked as well. 'Something dangerous, a treasure or something?' She wondered, and caught sight of what stopped him.

From where she was, covered now in mud and kneeling beside it, she could see both their reflections staring back at them.

Raymond's knife began to quiver, and he shoved it back into his sheath. "This… isn't the right time, right place… I-I just healed you after all and… it doesn't seem fair, you just got an injury healed, and it was expensive." He felt a lump in his throat, he swallowed it and smacked his lips.

"We- We shouldn't take time for this anyway. We can… we can do this later. The gods don't give a timetable… I can… we can wait until we're on our way back, after we're done in Arwintar." Raymond said, and Nua's ears began to wiggle up and down.

It was… cute, arguably.

She stood up, spat the gag into the puddle where it landed with a splash, and turned around.

"As you command… master." Nua said to him, the fear and panic she must have felt were gone and the empty voice returned, her face was as blank as ever, and it was anything but thanks that she gave to him.

"I will clean the carriage at our next stop, master." She said after he returned to his seat, he said nothing as the door closed him inside again, and only when the carriage began to lurch, did his body begin to shake from head to toe as it had on the day of his very first life or death struggle.