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The Meme Train

Little thing I decide to write for the fun memes, don't take this way too seriously, if you wanna vote, vote then. Just don't act like an ass. Also the book isn't for anyone of a prudish nature, so yeah, if you are then this ain't your cup of tea, hell it's not even tea, it's a full cup of espresso. Oh yeah, the R-18 tag is there for gore, I don't know know how to write good smut, and I don't plan to write smut in this book any given time. ____________________________________________ Take a look at me for example: I died, that was painful. I got chosen to be entertainment for some dude that I never got to even meet. I cheesed the "golden finger" I got and made an entire world go straight to fuck all. Now I'm just casually being the madman that everyone says I am. Oh, and fuck cultivators. I don't like their kind around here. What do you get? Some random kid being a fucking lunatic that's what! Take a read if you want! You'll definitely regret it! (Disclaimer, I own nothing aside from my MC and any OCs I may cook up, the cover was from google, I just searched Thomas the Thermonuclear Bomb and I found Thomas the Thermonuclear Apocalypse, I came looking for copper and I found gold. Also this is a work of fiction, any names that are placed in here are yadda yadda yadda you know the drill, anything in here is coincidental.)

AntiLoliLewding · Cómic
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325 Chs

I'm Just Trying to Strangle These-

/3rd POV/

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Ainz and Mekhaine looked at the aftermath of what Mekhaine's V1 NPC had done and felt it right to properly try to figure out what had gone horribly wrong.

[THERE'S BLOOD EVERYWHERE!]

[THAT'S HOW HE HEALS, OF COURSE THERE'S FUCKING BLOOD EVERYWHERE!]

[BUT THIS IS EXCESSIVE! WHY IS THERE SO MUCH OF IT WHEN THERE WEREN'T EVEN FIFTY IN THEIR REINFORCEMENTS, IT'S STARTING TO TURN INTO A BLOOD POND!]

[My brother in Christ, I wanted the Overkill, but this? It's pretty safe to say that it worked far too well. He's still at full health, not even any signs of damage shielding systems.

We'd be actually fucked if we accidentally had him go to kill the entirety of the Theocracy, because he actually would if we ordered him to do it.]

[Tell me why and how did you ever have the idea to make something this dangerous.]

[The Grand Raid, remember that? That's my reason. Sure the Walkers flattened anything under Level 80, and their guns were fucking up the 95s, but there were way too many 100s for trying to kill us all.

That raid lasted more than a week, so many people actually had seizures from playing the game for far too long that it ended up having the shitty devs come along and tell the human and beastman Players "Hey! The fight's over, please surrender, since we'd like to still be legally allowed to run." and then proceed to cry at the sort of plans that I had in mind.]

[If I remember correctly, you and Luci*fer were more than good friends when it came to traps.]

[Well, not inherently chums, more so along the lines of that he preferred bugs, while I preferred exploits. His forte was on the actual Tomb and it's interactions, while I did my bes to make the devs work for their salary by constantly and consistently bringing out terribly overpowered units whenever I go farming.]

(Ehem! Anyways, do we have to clean this up, I don't think that [Spell Development] is my strong front, and I don't actually have any spells related to cleaning aside from Purification-based ones, and those take a rather decent toll for Undead to actually cast.)

(Don't you worry yourself Ainz, we can handle things a different way. We have vampires remember? They like V1 enough to stay by his side whenever he goes on a rampage, and when I remove some of his limiters, I think that they actually get aroused when they see him destroying all of the enemies.)

(Before I would be saying that you'd been spending far too much time with Peroroncino, but now.....you might actually be right about the arousement part.)

The both of them sighed as they called upon some Vampire Ancestors and ordered them to use some [Blood Magic] to store as much of it as possible.

The Vampire Ancestors worshipped the two of them before they returned with the lightly coagulated blood and carcasses that were still around.

Ainz in particular was grumbling about how things suddenly gt unhinghed, until he felt a tap on his shoulder, and saw that Mekhaine had a dark expression on his face.

(I realized something.)

(What? What could possibly make this situation worse?)

(I may or may not have spun an extremely tall tale about how we actually came to this world, and used the Shitty Devs as the "Balancer Gods" that kept people from the "IRL" from being too attached to their creations. Things may get extremely complicated.)

(...HAAAAAAAH?! WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?!)

(They wanted, no, NEEDED an explanation about what happened to their creators, their parents Ainz. They wanted to know, and I had to spin something ferocious.

We need to play this role damn well, you're doing awesome, while I have to play depresso espresso expresso.)

(Well, what did you specifically say in the first place?)

(We were the only ones that were alive, and that we got chosen to watch over all of them.

That their parents said goodbye and said that they loved them. That we're sorry that we couldn't be able to do more for all of them, that's the tale O spun.)

Ainz took a deep moment of silence to think about it, and sighed when he realized that it wasn't technically far from the truth.

They weren't ever going to be able to see what was going on in this world, and even if he and Mekhaine found a way to bring all of the other guild members over to the New World, would they ever accept?

He knew that the answer to that question was more or less a complete no, because he was one of the only few that didn't really have all that much back on Earth.

He wasn't the rich type, the smart type or even handsome. Right now, he had the entire Treasury, supplies for literal thousands of years and a mind that ran even faster than a sports car.

Sure he was a skeleton that didn't actually have a body, but that just meant that he didn't need any supplies, and that they could go to the NPCs instead.

(Well, I suppose that's a good enough story. Make sure that they all hear it, and I would really appreciate it if-)

(-I were the one to try and break it to them, don't worry man, I can deal with it. You may be an Overlord, but I can still hear the Suzuki in you.

I'm still the same Frank that I've always been as well, and we're brothers remember? You hate mortals cuz they're lesser beings that decided you were lesser to them, and I hate them cuz they made me and threw me away when they found a better toy to spend their time fawning over.)

Ainz and Mekhaine had a moment of silence as they shook each other's hands. This was the birth of the Two Kings of the world. The Sorcerer King, who beheld a million undead as his army, and the Steel King, who ruled titans of pure metal to shatter and shake the Earth solely from their footsteps alone.

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/Frank POV/

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Hoo boy, this shit is getting a little too difficult for me to have to handle alone. Ainz and I had a little more heart to heart, and he's a bit under the weather from having to think so much about things.

I'm currently having overseeing the Vampire Ancestors handle the sheer amount of blood that got spilled over on the ground, when I heard the sweet sound of [Gate] getting opened, and a loud enough gasp for me to realize who was there behind me.

(Oh my! Forgive me, Mekhaine-sama! I was wondering where these worthless maggots of mine have sauntered off to. I was not made aware that they were being made productive under your watchful eye!)

(Little one, speak plainly.)

(A-ah yes! I'm sorry my lord. Peroroncino-sama found it a good idea to allow me to speak more eloquently for more formal occasions!)

(Does speaking to me count as one, oh child? Is it truly worth it to place such a burden upon yourself to have to speak in such tongues? Calm yourself child. You speak with your parent. So, how are you taking the news, little one? Has Albedo disseminated the same story that I have told her yet?)

She visibly frowned in a deeper sadness than what I would have thought to be feasible from her, as she nodded and spoke further.

(Yes my lord, I know now. My father and creator, the man that had melded me from the elements themselves and guided me from the earliest memories is dead. I miss him, Mekhaine-sama.)

I shook my head as I pet hers.

(Truly, like father like daughter. Always raving screaming about the next level of degeneracy that he could possibly reach, and yet when the times become serious, so too does he.

He and Bukubukuchagama were both some of the strangest players that I have been made aware of. But, allow me to cheer you up with a tale.

Did you know, that when he first created you, he wanted you to be a pure person? To contrast the sheer degree of perversions that he uses to undermine himself every single day?)

She seemed to be shocked at that as she begun to speak.

(E-EHH? Mekhaine-sama? Was I to be a meek little vampire maiden? But, if so, then why am I-)

(So much like him in almost every way? It's because you made him understand. He saw that you were his daughter, and it would have been inevitable for you to follow into his footsteps, so he simply allowed you one little sentence, one tiny seed that blossomed into such a person like you, little one.

"She is like her creator, and wants to be like him."

Indeed, you were more or less made more for melee and other styles, but they were to compliment Pero by you being the one to throw yourself into the meat grinder and allowing him time to pick off every single important enemy from the furthest possible distance.

That, my child, is the beauty that he created. Peroroncino, he who had yearned for beauty, sculpted a flawed beauty, yet flaws waned and waxed, and allowed a true beauty, one that can be blemished yet can never truly be outshined, was born.

Little one, he loved you, he loves his family, and he loves his sister, in spite of the contrary being the more common sight around the Tomb when they were still there.)

I took a moment for her to take it all in as she fell down on the grass, clutching her chest as her eyes twinkled.

(With that in mind, he and Bukubukuchagama were more than willing to be one of the first to sacrifice themselves for the good of this Tomb, for the good of their creations, for the good of Ainz Ooal Gown.

He and Buku even asked me specifically "Mekkun, if it ever comes down to our children trying to have sex with you, just turn into a toaster, they wouldn't dare, no matter how horny."

I gave them the curtest reply that could possibly come to mind. I said to them "My brother and sister in Christ, if I ever turned into a toaster, I'm more than certain they'd plug me into a socket, fill up a tub, throw me in, and act like the electric shock it was giving them was me performing foreplay."

As expected, Pero couldn't stand from all of the laughter, and Buku tried to beat me to a pulp. That is what they are, they may be at each other's throats, but they're never going to actually be enemies.)

I looked at her as I reached out my hand. (Forgive me child for saying this, but it's time for the sun to shine once more, don't you think so too?)

She looked bedazzled as she took it and bowed to me. (Thank you, Mekhaine-sama, you gave me a feeling I could never truly get from all of the torture that I perform. Thank you, for giving me a fond memory, my lord.)

I nodded to her as I then said (Well little one, I'm going to wait here, I can only assume that the village runner has either been killed or has finally sent for help from one of the bigger towns, if they send for their own troops at the very least, things wouldn't be terrible, they could still be salvaged, made robust.

If not, well, what a pity, cooperation would be difficult with incompetent people like these.)

Shalltear nodded once more as I looked to the horizon, and saw a different flag bring raised. I took out my weapon and draped a torn cloth around my body, ensuring that my figure isn't immediately seen by the troops.

If this was Stronoff, then that means that canon is going as expected, the question remains for me, is where do I intend to derail it?

When Ainz sends out the Dark Young? Instead of them, Ill just show them the biggest Walkers that I have? Or do I go even earlier, announcing myself as a subordinate to Ainz at the Kingdom, that we wished for peace, and as long as we have peace, we will aid them?

And maybe even bait some of their nobles to do something rather silly. A little unorthodox. A bit of a goofy moment. Oh how the choices make me think of such giddy and fun ways to make things all the worse.

I looked around at all of the blood, contacted Ainz via [Message] and went to receive our guests. This was either going to end terribly or we were going to get ourselves a good little sight of the Angel that they were going to summon.

The horses all halted as I saw him right in front of me. I placed my weapon on my back as I talked with them.

(Well met, warrior. I assume thou art sworn swords to these lands, placed with the duty to protect it?)

Gazef nodded briefly as he disembarked from his saddle and conversed with me.

(Good day to you as well sir, I see that you are as much of a warrior like us. Please? Were these people harmed? Are those who were responsible captured?)

I raised my hand calmly as I spoke out to all of them.

(Temper thyself, oh warrior foreign to me. Many have fallen within this village, but those who were responsible have been captured, and my people have begun to help those still living find a ledge to reach out to.

My only regret is that I have acted too late. Too many have fallen, and my anger has yet to be quenched. And yet, it still stinks of foul play, fellow warrior.)

Gazef had an inquisitive expression to him as he asked me to continue on with my story.

(They bore colors that I believe are not truly their own. They call themselves members of an empire, if I heard what they confessed when I had their men's limbs hacked off one by one, for every moment they withheld the information.)

(Y-you!)

Gazef raised his hand to his men as he beckoned me to continue on.

(It was only when I realized that some of them had peculiar iconography etched into their very skin, that they were not of this empire, instead of a different kind.

They were religious, and I hate it when they use religion as an excuse to slaughter each other. I fear the worst has yet to come, Warrior.)

(Thank you kind sir, for protecting this village. If only I'd have been here earlier as well to protect them.)

Gazef grit his teeth and clenched his fist as I noted that little portion as well. Good man, shame he might end up dead.

(Ah! Forgive me, my manners have eluded me. I am a travelling warrior, of the name Frank.

I travel with my group member, Suzuki, and we have found ourselves in lands yet to be charted by our maps.

May I have the honor of knowing your name perchance, oh fellow warrior?)

I held out my hand, which was still metal, and I removed the part of the cloth that covered my head, which showed them that I was not human in any sense.

The other soldiers that saw me immediately came down from their horses and unsheathed their swords to try and ready themselves from a confrontation.

Gazef, on the other hand, took a few moments to study me before shaking my hand as well.

(Gazef sir, Gazef Stronoff, servant to my liege King Ramposa.)

(Well met sir, as you can plainly see, I am not human. Inhumanity does not mean an impossibility of empathy, I am glad that a man of your stature is so well-studied on the world.)

(Forgive me for my uncertainty and my men's fear, I cannot place you for any possible race that I have seen before, either from a book or from memory.)

(Ah, tis of no concern, for I am the last of my kind, incapable of breeding or replicating my species, seeing my lack of, well, facilities.)

I laughed it off a little bit as Gazef smiled as well. (Me and travelling companion, Suzuki were not so particular to following the well-trodden paths when we came upon them, bur when we saw smoke, that usually meant fire.

A single pillar either meant a group of ruffians who'd try to accost us of our possessions, or an outpost of warriors, whether of man or monster, with not much difference.

But more than five? A raid most obvious. Sir Gazef, if I may be so bold to ask, but why has one such as yourself come to such a small village?

Surely your liege would find it better to send you to battle a greater threat, and by no means do I intend to make this incident small, I am merely curious sir.)

(Your words are appreciated, Warrior Frank, and it is true, this may be a small village, but it's importance cannot be thrown out solely due to its location, in fact, it's very location is what makes it important. This is a frontier village, good warrior.)

(Ah, a rival country?)

(Nay sir, far worse, two of them. A rival empire and a country of racist zealots.)

(Hmm, I may need to change me and my comrade's path if those were the two countries around this village.)

(And you would not be wrong, good warrior, these lands, they see bloodshed far too often.)

He looked around at all of the patches of blood on the blades of grass, smelling the iron in the air and nodding at my handiwork.

(It appears it will see a little more whilst you are around, good warrior.)

I shook my head as I spoke again.

(Forgive me for the unsightly area, I tried to reason with them. But my patience is in short supply, and I had just run out when I saw children cradling their mothers and fathers, asking them to awaken, only for them to realize that they never will.)

Gazef nodded as I looked to see the Village Chief, waving at us and calling us over.

(Shall we have a chat with the Village Chief, he may be able to prove that my story is factual. And we may have more time to hatch a plan in the occasion that these ruffians send more of themselves.)

He nodded as him and his men led their horses over to the village. After confirming that Ainz cleaned up most of the village with the use of some of the homunculi and asked for the village chief to agree with our version of the story, it was going to be a lot of fun.

3171 words. Damn, I just wanted to write 2500, but seeing as I didn't really get happier with how it should have ended, I just wrote five hundred more, and I'm satisfied at that point. Anyways and as always, I'll see you guys, on the dank side of the moon! Peace out everybody! Goodbye~

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