Pay For It

MICHAEL

''So,'' He cleared his throat, ''You are doomed, or should I say that we are doomed since Nowel has refused to offer her sister as a sacrifice.'' Levi hissed. ''Very, nice of her.'' He took a sip from his cup.

I stared silently at the demon in front of me. Then I looked around to see how nobles and knights play a little betting game to see who would get to have the three terrified girls for pleasure. I was disgusted.

''Are you still going to order anything or have you made a deal with my brother about drinks?''

I sighed at his sarcasm. ''I won't force her to.''

''Excuse me?''

''She has done enough. I don't want to hurt her anymore.'' I confessed.

Levi scoffed. ''Even the author of the problem on the ground feels regretful. How ironic.''

I clenched my fist hard on the table as I remembered all the pain I had put her through. I am an abominable jerk to her.

''Now you are realizing that?''

I forgot that my mind is an open book to this Prince of Hell in front of me. I probably shouldn't think too much. But it hurts a lot. So much. Also, my heart is burdened with guilt and I can't just stop thinking about how she reacted that day. Why do I feel this way? Why does it hurt so much?

''Because you love her, stupid.''

Levi shook his head and turned to look at the game going on around us with an irritated look.

I was left alone to my thoughts. Loving someone...does it hurt so much like this? I have to figure out a way out of this without getting anyone hurt. I am the one that got us all into this mess. Why does someone else have to pay for it?

''Do you know how I feel right now about these elites betting on who would get to bed these girls?'' Levi asked, ''I feel like appearing in my demonic form and scaring these rugrats into a hole. A hole in which there is no way of crawling out. Like a pit of endless darkness or something.''

A...hole...

Then it clicked.

''Where can I find the Abyss?''

Levi choked on his drink. ''W-what did you just say?''

I leaned forward so that he could hear me properly. ''The Abyss. Where can I find one?''

''Why? Why do you want to know where an Abyss is?''

I smiled. Legend has it that seven Greek gods created an endless dark hole or pit in the heart of an ancient mountain. It's where the Greek gods destroy the souls of sinners. And if you are lucky, you can be pardoned and your soul can be reborn. I doubt if the Greek gods choose to pardon me if I fall into the Abyss.

''Levi,'' I started, ''I don't want anybody to save me from my sins or mistakes anymore. I want to be held accountable and pay for it. I don't want to be a trouble or a burden anymore. Especially to those who care for me.  She has suffered just enough. It's time I pay for all the terrible things I have done to her. I have made her cry so many times and it's time that ends.''

Levi became furious, ''And you think you committing suicide would make her smile?''

I smile. ''No. She would only be free from me and my headaches. I'm such a pain to her.''

''Ugh, don't be ridiculous. You are a pain to everybody. The only problem I have with you is that you let your past affect you so much that it nurtured a cold and hard seed in you.''

''Levi, please, I need to do this. Where is the Abyss?''

''You can't be serious about this.''

''That's the only way out of this without hurting anybody!'' I snapped, ''The devil can't do anything If I die. Nowel's little sister won't have to be sacrificed and you won't have to be punished unnecessarily. I won't be able to hurt her anymore if I am dead!''

Levi looked at me as if I was talking rubbish. Or maybe I am. I groaned.

''I can't believe that you are giving up after everything.''

It's the only solution that I could think of. I'm sorry.

''Levi, it's alright. I am okay with this as long as that little girl is not dragged into this.'' Levi was dumbstruck by what I was saying.

I drew out a small piece of paper that had my writing on it. ''Give this to the person that has always been there for me. The person that chose to be on the Freak side. The person that tried so hard to make me feel loved. My angel.''

He collected it from my hands in shock.

''I was looking for a way to give her that since this morning. But I guess, it's best to give her this way.''

Levi stared at the paper in his hands in disbelief.

''Don't tell her that I chose to give up because I considered what you guys would go through if I didn't.''

Levi gave me a questioning look.

''I want her to think that I am still that selfish and arrogant freak of nature. That way, it would be so easy for her to forget about me and move on and be happy.''

''Are you crazy?!''

I nodded, ''Yes, I am.''