28. Book II: Reminiscing About the Past

In the cold winter of early December 1992, a couple of lovers who were two young men embraced each other on the bed, crammed together channeling the warmth of each other's bodies. The regular roar of warm breath echoed each other.

"Noel," Walther whispered.

"Hhhm..." He replied in the same way.

"Nothing, I just wanted to hear your voice." Walther smiled a thin but sweet smile. His faint hearing caught a soft chuckle from his lover's mouth. Walther opened his eyes to see the smile on Noel's lips.

Enamored, Walther tightened his embrace on Noel's body, as if he didn't want to let go for even a second. "So... is this your last night with me?"

"Well, I've been staying with you for three days, so tomorrow I'm staying at my house. As agreed."

Walther sighed. "I was hoping you could increase your stay with me by one more day, so it's exactly four days, how about that?" suggested Walther, occasionally inhaling the fragrant scent of his lover's soap and natural scent.

"Isn't three days a week enough?"

Walther shook his head. "No, I don't like odd numbers."

Noel chuckled. "You can't use odd or even as an excuse." He thought Walther's excuse was ridiculous. "You want it changed to even?" Noel leaned in, staring so intently that the tips of their noses touched.

Walther nodded.

"In that case, I'll change it from three to two. Well, that's not odd, is it?" Noel made a suggestion. However, his suggestion made Walther frown in displeasure.

Seeing his lover's reaction, Noel burst into laughter-though he didn't know where the punchline lay. In contrast to Walther, he let go of the hug and moved a little, just a little, about four centimeters away from Noel.

"Tell you what, if you don't want to increase your stay at my place to four days, I'd at least like to increase our nights during the day." Walther negotiated.

Noel's laughter was silenced by the negotiation. "No!" He turned his reddened face to the side, his back to Walther.

"Why, didn't you enjoy it too?" Walther grinned, one arm returning to hug Noel from behind. Lost in the excitement of teasing his lover, Walther was determined to never let Noel go for the rest of his life.

*

Walther drove Noel to his house at night, due to their 'activities' this morning, which went from the bathroom to the bed. They were young, at a time when passion was at its peak and stamina was still at its prime.

Noel scanned his house from behind the glass door, like a burglar staking out a house he had targeted for a long time. A smile rose on Noel's lips - but there was no light from the glass window. That meant his father wasn't home. Now the two young men entered holding hands with their bodies pressed together reluctantly.

"What did your dad say when he first saw me that time?" asked Walther, a curious expression on his face as he entered Noel's house and closed the door.

"He just asked 'where did you meet?' Well... I told him you were a regular at the café where I work."

"Your dad just believed me?"

Noel looked thoughtful; remembering his father's expression at that moment. "Not really, he said "what a surprise", I replied that friendship can come from anywhere."

"What if your dad comes while I'm here?" asked Walther, afraid that Mr. Bendrix would suspect their relationship.

"We could find out," Noel argued. "This door will rattle if someone opens it from the outside. If you hear that, you can leave through the window. I'll distract my dad while you start the engine."

Walther smiled with relief. It turned out that his girlfriend was better at hiding their relationship than he had expected.

-

Noel who saw the two people taking turns, for some reason he felt an awkward aura between them.

"Do you know each other?" asked Noel looking at the two people in front of him in turn.

"Yes." they answered accidentally at the same time.

"We're friends, more like my dad and Mr. Bendrix are friends." Walther said. Harry Bendrix nodded in return.

"Then I'll be going home." Walther smiled and gave a short wave.

"Don't you want to stop by for a while?" asked Noel, Walther smiled and shook his head slowly before turning back around.

Noel's father stared enigmatically at the young man's back, his expression one of thought. After Walther left, Harry put his arm around his son's body. "Come on in, it's cold outside." And Noel nodded.

"Have you eaten?" Noel asked.

Instead of answering, his father asked, "What about you, have you eaten?"

"I have," he replied, Noel waited for the question his father would ask him, because Harry had been staring at him.

"That boy Walther... you're really friends, aren't you?" The question asked, Harry's eyes locked on his son's blue ones, as if he couldn't believe the answer Noel had given him-when Walther was still in front of them a few minutes ago.

Noel was silent, at a loss for an answer. Deep down, he wanted to say that their relationship was more than friends. He wanted to say that this young man was someone he loved besides his father, in a different status of love of course. However, Noel felt tongue-tied even just saying 'we're really just friends'. In the end, Noel could only nod.

Harry smiled with relief at his son's answer. "I hope you don't have a relationship with any man, you know, right the consequences?" Noel nodded again, understanding what his father meant.

"I'm glad you understand, take care of your body, take care of your heart. Don't let it be ruined just because of your love for a man." Harry advised. His hand reached out to stroke the top of Noel's head. Then he went to his room to rest after a long day at work.

After his father's departure, Noel smiled wryly. His father's words earlier had made it clear that the middle-aged man did not want him to become a homosexual.

Noel stared blankly at the ceiling. His lips were sealed, but his mind was busy thinking about his relationship with Walther. He loved that young man and couldn't just leave him. But, on the other hand, he couldn't keep hiding this relationship from his father.

"Walther, what should I do?" murmured Noel, he loved the young man too deeply.

*

Noel woke up to the feeling of someone touching his forehead.

"Engh..." Noel growled softly, trying to gather consciousness. "Dad," he called to a middle-aged man standing by the bed.

"You have a fever," Harry said with a worried expression that he couldn't mask.

Noel shook his head slowly. "It's just a normal fever, after taking medicine from the pharmacy and resting more, it will also get better."

When Noel was about to get up from his lying position, his father spontaneously prevented him and put him back on the bed.

"You go to school and work too hard. Rest some more, I'll make some beef rib soup and hot tea for you." After saying that, Harry went to the kitchen.

Noel complied, he was happy with the attention his father gave him. He hadn't been cared for like this in a long time. Noel wondered - did he have to get sick first, then his father would stay home longer and pay more attention to him?

If it worked, Noel wouldn't mind being sick for a few days. Harry Bendrix rarely came home because of his job as a scientist at a pharmaceutical factory.

"Smells good," Noel complimented, as the delicious aroma of the meat stew broth entered his senses.

Harry appeared with a bowl of soup and smiled. Noel smiled at his father's smile. He sipped hot tea and spooned a piece of potato with a small slice of meat.

"I'm sorry for leaving you." Harry watched his son eat his soup with gusto, guilt evident in his tone.

"It's not my fault," Noel replied. "You shouldn't work too hard either. Take care of your health, if you get sick who will take care of me?"

"You can just lecture this dad of yours." The middle-aged man ruffled Noel's blond mane anxiously.

"Dad stop it, if my hair is tangled I won't look handsome anymore," Noel protested with pursed lips.

"Who said you were handsome, huh? You look more like your mom."

Mentioning his mother, Noel spontaneously asked a question. "Does Mom love me?" The one question he had been holding back finally came out.

Harry flashed a faint, albeit bland, smile. He added passion to every word of his answer. "Your mom loves you, she always has." Although it was only a short sentence, it was sincere.

Noel's mother died a few hours after giving birth to Noel. The young man was cared for by his father from infancy, although Harry Bendrix sometimes hired babysitters to take care of baby Noel. When Noel was ten years old, his father moved him from Ottawa to Hamilton and settled in Toronto. Shutting himself off from some of his friends, Harry Bendrix became increasingly overprotective of Noel. Forbidding his son to make friends and talk to strangers he met outside, except those he knew well. And Harry didn't tell Noel the reason for his behavior.

An incoming message managed to stop the middle-aged man's activity of messing up his son's hair, immediately Harry checked the incoming message from the cellphone. Once again, the expression of worry about Noel's condition returned to his face.

Noel realized it. He knew his father would be gone again. The young man wanted to ask even though he could already guess one hundred percent - his father would never tell. Finally Noel chose to remain silent and intended; someday he would ask for help from his best friend Cody to investigate everything about his father.

When he felt something forcing its way out of his mouth, Noel covered his mouth with his hand and immediately got up to run to the sink in the bathroom due to the urge to vomit.

Noel tried to vomit something out of his stomach, but nothing came out at all because he hadn't eaten anything since waking up, apart from a little soup made by his father. Noel was sure he was now catching a cold because he had eaten late. Luckily, he had no history of stomach ulcers.

He staggered back to his room. Noel could see his father's expression growing worried.

"Rest for a few days, I'll tell the manager at the cafe that you can't work today because you're sick."

Noel nodded, and lay back down.

Harry wrapped his arms around his son. As the middle-aged man was about to leave, Noel quickly grabbed his father's hand.

"Where are you going?" asked Noel, still not letting go of his father's hand, like a child who didn't want to be left in daycare.

Harry was silent, unable to answer.

Noel finally gave in. He released his grip on his father's hand, pulled back the rough blanket and stood up. He grabbed some clothes to put in a black sack bag.

"I'm going to stay at Cody's," he said. "I already called him."

"I'm going to-"

"No, you take care of your work," Noel retorted sarcastically as he hurried away despite his weakened condition.

Harry was about to call out, but Noel had already closed the door. He walked with a slight stagger while covering his eyes with his arm.

"I'm sorry, Noel..." Harry knew his son was disappointed in him. But he couldn't do much because of his condition. In the end, Harry just followed Noel from a distance, making sure that his son was okay to go alone to the bus stop.

The snow fell again, flakes dancing in the air before falling. Noel shivered, rubbing his palms together, hugging his body to ward off the biting cold. In about fifteen minutes the bus arrived, he quickly boarded and took the window seat.

Upon Harry's return to the house, the middle-aged man sat at the dining table. Pensive, he thought about his son who often stayed at Cody's house.

Harry went to his son's best friend's house one day, but Cody said Noel didn't come to visit.

Harry rubbed his face roughly, thinking about Noel who was rarely home. Even when he came, he only found an empty house.

[[