Anton II

I refuse Anton's confession. He is a dear friend and he is until now. Pero siya din ang Anton na kilala ko. Mapilit at gagawa ng paraan makuha lang ang gusto.He ended up not talking to me for a couple of days and I am bothered with it. I AM NOT OK with it. Why? Because the same freaking Anton ay hindi umaalis ng bahay. He is there, giving me a cold shoulder and stares while I eat. or when we happen to encounter him in the hallway.

And I lost it on day three.

"Stop! You're making it more awkward for me", I whispered at him while gritting my teeth.

Nakaupo siya sa common area mag-isa.

"Ano ba ang ginawa ko?", tanong niya ng nakataas ang kilay.

"You're obviously giving me a cold shoulder! Don't make me say the obvious pwede ba?", I snapped. He gave me his boyish smile. Tumayo siya at lumakad palapit sa akin habang nakangisi. I step back at tumama ang likod at ulo ko sa pader. He worriedly touch my head.

" I don't wanna be your friend. We can be in a relationship or hindi kita papansinin. And I hate pretending na okay lang ako maging kaibigan mo. I hate to think na wala akong karapatan magalit sa mga ibang lalaking lumalapit sayo, lalo na at alam ko ang motibo nila. You know I like you and I like you so much na hindi ko na alam kung anong gagawin ko.

I know, that's the sweetest thing you can hear from a man, dahil kahit ako ng mga oras na yun ay hindi nakasagot sa kanya. It's not because I'm out of reasons but because the intensity of his eyes. Ang klase ng tingin na minsan kong pinangarap. Tingin ng lalaking seryoso. Marahan kong tinulak ang dibdib niya palayo ar tumalikod ako pabalik ng kwarto. I would hear his erratic heart earlier, his heavy beathing. It's not good. It is not damn good.

Nakahinga lang ako sa kama at tulalang nakatingin sa kisame. I heard my phone ping - a text message.

" I am serious Hallie". The message came from Anton.

"I know", I replied.

" Then give me a chance."

"Anton, alam mo ba kung ano ang mawawala sa atin oras na masira tayo? Once naging tayo and we ended up breaking up - everything we had before, lahat yun possibleng mawala." ito na yata ang pinakamahabang text ko sa kanya. Most of our conversations are transactional. It might be him asking me to eat or daily greetings with me responding. "Okay, thanks or I'm good.

" I'm willing to take the risk, " maikli niyang sagot.

Napatingin ulit ako sa kisame. I took a deep breath.. and sent my reply.

" Okay "..

..........

Okay, one word.

Wala pang limang minuto matapos ko mag reply sa kanya ay malakas na katok na ang narinig ko sa pinto. Alam kong si Anton ang nasa labas kahit hindi ko pa nabubuksan.

I was showered with his big smiling face when I finally open the door.

" You won't regret it, I promise", he said and hugged me.

I spent the remaining days of school year with Anton, acting like a puppy. Lagi siyang nakasunod sa akin, even in my meetings! By the end of the day, kahit hindi pa man tinatanong ng mga tao, alam na nila na boyfriend ko si Anton.

Umuwi na din siya sa bahay nila, but he make sure to visit me everyday sa boarding house.

Am I happy?

Yes, masaya naman talaga kasama si Anton. He introduced me to his friends pero kahit shakes hand lang hindi niya gusto. Pinagtawanan tukoy ng mga kapwa niya ROTC officers.

" Napakaseloso.. pero congrats, dream come true ang loko.."

Yung ibang kaibigan niya ay kilala ko na dahil sa lagi nga akong nagagawi sa building nila. In a week, halos lahat ng tao sa university alam na kame na. I am not boasting but most of the population in our school know me. I am Hallie Mendoza l, the youngest head of our University's School Publication, an Education student, and of course, everyone knows Anton, didn't I said it before? He is one of the school eye candy.

Sa haba na ng na ikwento ko hindi man alng ako nakpagpakilala ng pormal. Ako si Hallie Mendoza, and I was eighteen when my story started. Hobbies? Nothing in particular. Hilig ko mag basa ng libro, at pangarap kung nakasulat at makapag publish ng libro. Gaya nga sinasabi ko sa lahat, hindi ako ganun kaganda pero masasabi ko naman na isa ako sa sikat na tao sa universidad. I have good grades, though never akong naging part ng deans lister, but I consider myself as a straight A student especially during my primary and secondary years. Out of our family habit, we never cared about honour or awards kahit sa totoong buhay madami kaming awards ng mga kapatid ko pagdating sa campus journalism. It was our mother who teaches us and was followed up by our Primary school teacher before. Yes, grade school pa lang hinasa na kame sa campus journalism.

Pero sinuko ko ang sipag sa pag aaral ng college na ako. I no longer care about being part of top 5 or 10. I know the importance of studies but no one requires us to be the best. Sometimes kailangan natin bigyan ng pahinga ang utak natin para maging normal tayo na tao. I have my vices as well, especially in my college years, napakataas ng tolerance ko sa alcohol.

Nagising ang diwa ko ng hawakan ni Anton ang kamay ko habang palabas kame ng school. Isang linggo na lang at uuwi na talaga ako for vacation. Si Anton naman ay may training sa ROTC sa kabilang university. I looked at him and stares back. Do I regret it? I don't know, but my heart is at peace.