Chapter 151: Shizun, I Only Want You

As his thoughts wandered wildly, Chu Wanning heard Mo Ran say

in a low voice, "What do you think you're looking at? It's not like that, now

take your clothes and get lost."

Xue Meng paused. "Huh? What did I look at?"

Mo Ran went silent.

In the room, Xue Meng stared at his cousin's face trying to figure it

out until it suddenly clicked. He hollered in a mixture of anger and

embarrassment, "The hell were you thinking about?! I was gonna say, with

your door locked and all, were you just going settle for a bath in here 'cause

you didn't wanna crowd with everyone in the public baths. You're the one

with your mind in the gutter, and you dare to turn it around on me?!"

One room over, Chu Wanning's face darkened. Mind in the gutter…

Xue Meng heaved a lengthy sigh and looked Mo Ran up and down,

glaring the whole time. "I wasn't even thinking about that, but since you

brought it up, were you really—"

"Weren't you going to take a bath? What are you still here running

your mouth for!"

"No but, like, I really think you're acting kinda suspicious." Mo Ran's

unfriendly tone and his dark eyes, almost crackling with sparks, only made

Xue Meng all the more skeptical. "You practically lived at the brothels back

when you first came of age, but I've heard nothing of your philandering

ways while you were traveling around these last couple years. Why'd you

turn over a new leaf all of a sudden, huh?"

No reply from Mo Ran. Chu Wanning waited in the silence;

he wanted to know Mo Ran's answer too. The longer it dragged, the more

anxious Chu Wanning became. Why wasn't Mo Ran saying anything?

Embarrassment? Remorse? Or…

"You really want to know?" Mo Ran finally spoke, the anger plain in

his voice.

He actually has the nerve to be angry? Chu Wanning was frankly

impressed. He thought Xue Meng's question was perfectly reasonable.

Don't get upset just because someone dug up your sordid past and try to

sweep everything under the—

Before he could finish the thought, he heard Mo Ran finally speak. "I

had my fill of fucking and got bored of it, all right? Now kindly piss off."

Chu Wanning was dumbfounded. From the silence on the other side

of the wall, Xue Meng was the same. The silence stretched for a long, long

moment. Then Xue Meng roared, so loud the entire inn probably heard,

"Mo Weiyu, you shameless dog! Absolute scum!"

"Sure, sure, whatever you say. Now get the fuck out and let me go

back to sleep."

"Don't touch me! Gross!"

"How am I gross?"

"Y-you—" In the room, Xue Meng stuttered, his handsome little face

bright red. He had tried to put Mo Ran on the spot, but the latter's

shamelessness had unexpectedly put him in the hot seat instead. He couldn't

help thinking that he was already in his twenties. Among his peers,

Nangong Si was marrying the number-one beauty of the cultivation world,

the fourth gongzi of Jiangdong Hall was already a father to three children,

and that Mei Hanxue of Kunlun Taxue Palace… Mei Hanxue, surprisingly,

had yet to die of a venereal disease. It seemed that Xue Meng was the only

inexperienced virgin left.

So Xue Meng was indignant. Not for perverse reasons: in fact, he had

no raunchy desires whatsoever. But he felt like he had fallen behind Mo Ran

in this aspect, and not just by a little, either. So he was outraged. If Mo Ran

had avoided the question, if he had been abashed, Xue Meng probably

would've felt differently. But Mo Ran had only looked disdainful and

impatient as he tossed out a "had my fill of fucking, got bored." Young

Master Xue couldn't take it; it was too much of a blow to his ego.

He stammered futilely for a time before shouting furiously at him,

"Anyway, you're gross! You depraved piece of trash!" And slammed the

door on his way out.

Chu Wanning was at a bit of a loss as well. He was more collected

than Xue Meng and could tell Mo Ran was deliberately provoking him out

of irritation. Still, he couldn't help the tides surging in him, the rushing

torrents that refused to recede. The man in the other room had used such

crude words, spoken in a low snarl like that of a jungle lion, muscles strong

and defined, breath steaming. That deep bellow shaping those vulgar words

formed a hot, thick fire iron that jabbed right into his heart.

Chu Wanning swallowed, eyes dark and gleaming. Mo Ran had been

admonished for going to brothels before, so Chu Wanning was abundantly

aware that he wasn't some innocent like Xue Meng. But back then, Mo Ran

had not been so irresistibly alluring as to tempt him into giving it much

thought, into imagining those kinds of scenes despite himself. Now that it

had been brought up again, Chu Wanning couldn't help envisioning that

body he'd seen—that steaming, sleek, well-built body in the foggy mist, a

body that had once been tangled with those delicate, soft, and lovely boys,

had once ravished those fair-skinned youths.

He burned with anger, yet his heart felt tickled as if by a feather.

Steeped in rage and yearning, the corners of Chu Wanning's eyes grew red,

a tinge of haitang in the black of night…

Xue Meng returned to Mo Ran's room. "Open the door!"

"What is it now?"

"I got distracted arguing with you! Where are my clothes!"

"On the table. Get them yourself."

"Hmph!" Holding his clothes, Xue Meng left in a huff.

Things finally quietened down this time. Chu Wanning heard

Mo Ran's heavy footsteps, followed by a muffled creak from the bed. This

time, he really, unmistakably heard the man in the other room lie back

down. He even thought he felt the bed shake as it supported that solid, fiery

body.

He felt parched and wanted to get up for a cup of water. But since he

could hear Mo Ran lie down, he knew Mo Ran would definitely hear if he

were to get up. So he stayed perfectly still, like one of the famous rocks of

Mount Danxia, ice-cold on the outside but brilliantly vibrant within.

On the other side of the wall, Mo Ran was restless. Men with

unfulfilled needs tended to be irritable, and Xue Meng had to pick that exact

moment to pester him. He had lost his head during the bickering and yelled

something shameless. He wondered if Chu Wanning had heard. He

definitely would have if he wasn't asleep…

The more he thought about it, the more he regretted it, rolling this

way and that on the bed. On the other side of the wall, Chu Wanning

listened to the creaking sounds and felt his unease grow as well.

A few seconds later, Chu Wanning heard Mo Ran say in a low voice,

"Shizun…"

Startled, Chu Wanning froze.

Still unable to settle even after all that tossing and turning, Mo Ran

tried calling to Chu Wanning to see if he would respond. "Shizun, are you

asleep?"

Of course Chu Wanning didn't reply.

"Can you hear me?"

Chu Wanning's heart beat like thunder. Embarrassed at how loud it

was pounding, he quietly tugged the quilt over his head in an effort to

muffle the sound Mo Ran couldn't hear to begin with.

"Shizun…"

Under the quilt, with Mo Ran's voice so close, it was as if they were

lying on the same bed. As if, were Chu Wanning to lift the covers, he would

see Mo Ran's handsome face as he reclined on his side, bare-chested, his

cheek propped in one hand as he watched Chu Wanning with those bright,

pitch-black eyes of his—those bestial and hungry eyes that threatened to

swallow him whole.

"Can you hear me?"

Chu Wanning decided he would pretend not to hear; he knew well

that Mo Ran was asking in the hopes that he couldn't hear. Otherwise, it

would be awkward for both of them tomorrow.

In a low voice, Mo Ran called out to him several more times. When

he heard nothing from Chu Wanning's side, he let out a quiet sigh. Thinking

Chu Wanning really was asleep, Mo Ran felt relieved, but also a little

wistful. He wanted Chu Wanning to pay him attention. But Chu Wanning

paid him none, so he could only touch the thin wall between them, stroking

it with calloused fingers, closing his eyes and pretending it was Chu

Wanning's chest he was caressing. He pressed his heated lips against it,

murmuring softly as if whispering against Chu Wanning's lips.

"I don't want any of that anymore…" Mo Ran said. "I only want

you…"

He spoke so softly that Chu Wanning didn't hear at all. Bundled in

the quilt, Chu Wanning's heart felt as hot as his face. A few minutes passed,

then he heard a loud creak from the bed on the other side of the wall, as if

the person on it was very agitated and had rolled over angrily.

He heard him say, "Fuck!"

Chu Wanning suddenly had a feeling, an animalistic sixth sense, that

he was about to hear something. For an instant, all his hair stood on end; he

thought he should cover his ears. But his fingers barely twitched. At a loss,

he stared blankly at the underside of the quilt. A moment later, he heard it…

Mo Ran was breathing heavily. There was a rhythm to it, heated and

vigorous. Goosebumps rose all along Chu Wanning's arms; the sounds

melted his spine and made his back numb. Mo Ran's panting was so sensual

and sinful, guttural noises that were stifled yet unbridled at once. These

sounds left him with no ambiguity as to what Mo Ran was doing.

Chu Wanning closed his eyes. He felt like he couldn't breathe, his lips

parted lightly, trembling. He remembered that erotic dream he'd had so

many times before. In it, he'd seen Mo Ran's entire body exposed, nothing

left to the imagination. Shutting his eyes only made it easier to imagine

what was happening outside the cocoon of his quilt. It was as if Mo Ran

was lying on his back right next to him, firm, toned body stretched out, light

dancing in those dark, narrowed eyes… Mo Ran's hand reached down and

unfastened his trousers, and that potent length sprang up. Chu Wanning

didn't dare think too deeply about what that massive thing would look like,

how swollen and red it must be, leaving it as a rough silhouette in his mind.

Mo Ran's hand worked over that lethal object, the jut of his throat rolling

with every swallow. There was no telling of whom he thought as he stroked

his own cock feverishly, painfully.

"Nngh…"

At the low groan from the other side of the wall, husky and sensual,

Chu Wanning's scalp went numb, those phoenix eyes hazy with lust in the

darkness. He, too, could no longer bear it…

After a long, torturous moment, the Yuheng Elder's fair, slender hand

finally reached down and, trembling, took hold of his own burning arousal.

That heft of it in his hand, hot and thick, brought both shame and

pleasure. His head tilted back ever so slightly and he suppressed a gasp.

Under the cover of the quilt, he relinquished that exterior of cold virtue and

drifted in the sounds of Mo Ran's heavy breathing, allowing himself to be

dragged down into the ocean of desires. He handled himself roughly and

clumsily, even hurting himself several times, until he really couldn't take it

anymore and abruptly flung off the quilt. He got on top of it, rubbing and

grinding against its fabric, long, slender legs trembling uncontrollably,

phoenix eyes half-lidded behind loose strands of sweat-soaked hair, lips

parted as he panted soundlessly.

Perhaps being suddenly exposed to the open air made the noises

clearer, or perhaps the heady arousal made the noises blurrier, but he

seemed to hear the sound of something slick. He thought it was coming

from Mo Ran's side beyond the wall, but when he looked down, he saw that

his hardness was leaking at the tip, smearing across his hand and making

those unbearably lewd sounds.

Chu Wanning felt his cheeks blaze with heat. He turned his head

away from the wall so that it would feel like Mo Ran was lying naked

beside him, and they were stroking one another in mutual pleasure.

Loftiness and reservations were left behind in his lust-addled state, and all

he knew was the harsh breathing from across the wall and the intoxicating

friction beneath his body. His lack of experience left him defenseless

against carnal stimulation, and every inch of his skin felt aflame. Just as a

well that stood dry for a hundred years longed for water, Chu Wanning

craved the touch of another warm body.

As the pants from across the wall quickened, Chu Wanning felt his

heart burn and his body grow pliant; his legs were on the verge of giving

out. The sheets beneath him were already wet with fluid. Blearily, he

thought that this was all so ridiculous, that he really shouldn't. But he

couldn't help it; it felt too good. In all his years he'd never tried doing this,

didn't even know that anything could feel this pleasurable.

When he'd gotten himself off in Yuliang Village, he had been

tormented over breaking his abstinence for the first time, had loathed and

been disgusted by himself. But this time… Across a wall from the person

he liked, listening to the stifled sound of that person's heated breathing, he

suddenly no longer found these carnal matters so ugly. He allowed himself

to float in the ocean of desires, to feel pleasure rather than revulsion.

A few errant locks of hair fell over his teary, heavy-lidded eyes. His

gaze lost focus, and for some reason, a bizarre vision flashed before him. Or

perhaps not a vision, but the strange, all-too-realistic dream he'd had in the

past.

The bedding in the dream had been red and gold, with an animal pelt

spread on the sheets that he could practically smell. He'd been face-down

on that bed, as he was now, forehead sheened with sweat, lips slightly

parted, hair similarly undone and loose over his eyes.

The candle had been left burning, and the man behind him drove into

him, fast and rough, their legs tangled. He could clearly feel the man's

body, muscles taut with pleasure. The sheets and blankets were in disarray.

The man panted sensually and hoarsely as he thrust in and out, and Chu

Wanning could hear him say, "What're you holding back for? Make some

noise for me."

Dream overlapped with reality. Chu Wanning gritted his teeth and

tilted his face away, refusing to make a sound even as the heat built low in

his belly and his need grew until it was nearly unbearable.

He closed his eyes, and his hand below moved yet more roughly.

He closed his eyes, but couldn't unsee those erotic dreams.

The man thrust in a few more times, then cursed under his breath and

pulled out. He forced Chu Wanning to turn over, and in the candlelight, Chu

Wanning saw a handsome, lust-filled face. Mo Ran's face.

Seeing Mo Ran so clearly in the dream only intensified Chu

Wanning's arousal and torment. He shook his head in shame, trying to free

himself from the vision. But it was useless. He heard Mo Ran's panting

across the wall. Low and throaty, just like the cruel yet tender man in those

dreams.

Despicably, Chu Wanning recalled further details of that dream.

Mo Ran, flipping him over and pressing his still-wet cock to Chu Wanning's

entrance, which was clenching down spasmodically, uncontrollably, from

such thorough use. Its massive head rubbed against his opening, dipping in

enough to tease but no further.

Within the inn, Chu Wanning's other hand fisted tightly in the sheets.

Shameful. It was too shameful. How could he possibly dream something

like that? He'd never… He'd never looked at any of those things…so how

could he dream so vividly of such affairs, as if his body really had

experienced such fevered yet frenzied, ugly yet intimate encounters? Could

this be the bestial nature carved into the bones of every human?

In the dream, Mo Ran's eyes shone, his expression sinister and

avaricious. "Holding out on me? You really think biting through your lip to

keep quiet will save your purity? I've fucked you so many times; what's the

point in struggling? You're the one who willingly let me fuck you, you're

the one who willingly submitted to me…"

"Stop…" Chu Wanning murmured, both in the dream and in reality.

"So what if you're noble and virtuous? You were still dirtied by me in

the end. Didn't you take me into your mouth and suck me off, didn't you

spread your legs and let me fuck you, wasn't what leaked out from between

your legs my gift to you? Pure? Don't be stupid. That word has never

applied to you since the day I bedded you."

"Stop talking…"

Pure no longer. Pride ripped apart like his robes.

"You should see what you look like down here…" Mo Ran's gaze

dragged downward, like a dagger eviscerating the man beneath him, until

his eyes landed on that quivering, clenched hole, still sticky from their

earlier union, traces of blood visible amidst the other fluids. His eyes

darkened and the jut of his throat bobbed as he swallowed, then he swore

under his breath and took his engorged cock in hand. He pushed slowly into

that twitching entrance, stretching it ruthlessly open, inch by quivering inch.

It was strange, but lost in his memories of that dream, Chu Wanning

felt as if he really could feel a thick, hard staff of flesh tearing him apart,

filling him…

Mo Ran sank all the way in, so deep his balls were pressed tightly

against Chu Wanning's entrance, as though he wanted to shove them in too.

His massive length filled Chu Wanning to his limit, pulsing inside him; he

was sure he couldn't take one bit more of this violation.

"Ah…"

Was it in the dream, or in reality? A moan finally escaped his throat,

jolting Chu Wanning out of his trance. The mirage dissipated in an instant,

fading like mist. The last thing he saw was Mo Ran driving into him, fast

and rough, the two of them fucking frantically atop the bed as he heard

Mo Ran say between heavy breaths, voice raw and heated, "If you were a

woman, I would've knocked you up long ago, the way I fuck you like this

every day… Heh, our child would be quite the abomination, don't you

think?"

Shame, arousal; beastly desire, human nature.

Inside the inn, Chu Wanning turned over, trying to shake himself free

of the filthy scene in his mind. He felt aggrieved, and the rims of his eyes

were tinged with red—why was this happening? He never used to have

dreams like these. He'd never looked at anything he shouldn't, he'd never

even seen a pornographic drawing, so why should he have such ridiculous,

wanton dreams… What would he do if anyone were to find out?

The memories of that dream receded, but the bed in the other room

suddenly began to rock. Mo Ran had been working over his cock for quite a

while before Chu Wanning had even begun; the heat had been building this

whole time, and he was so close to the edge. Mo Ran couldn't help but buck

his hips, thrusting upward. He'd gone without for so long that when he

came, it was with a low, guttural roar.

The muffled sound sent heat spiraling down Chu Wanning's spine.

Eyes teary and red-rimmed, he stroked himself roughly and followed suit

soon enough, coming all over the bedding. He'd never experienced such an

intense climax, and he couldn't help the low shout that tore itself from his

throat as he came, gasping, "Nngh…ahh…"

His vision blurred with his release. Chu Wanning couldn't understand

how he'd managed to fall into this sticky, messy love. Unable to summon

any strength, it was all he could do to lie there, eyes unfocused as he panted

quietly.

He rejected carnal desires. But he'd willingly fallen in love. And

when desire and love wove together, passions of the flesh seemed less

unacceptable. So his response this time was different from the frustration

and despair he'd felt in Yuliang Village. The shame was still there, but it

was washed away by the tender feelings in his heart, drowned by pleasure

and arousal. Chu Wanning suddenly wanted nothing more than for that

wooden wall between them to vanish. He wanted Mo Ran, sweat-soaked

and panting as he was, to reach over and press his hot, heaving chest against

his back, to kiss his shoulder and mouth along his neck.

As he lay there limply, staring off into space, Chu Wanning thought

that, if only this were so, then everything would be perfect. He would be

content.

Mo Ran rose early the next day. He knew that this was Linyi, and Chu

Wanning wouldn't like the food here. The inn didn't offer much in the way

of mild dishes, so he set off for the western market and bought some

ingredients, intending to borrow the inn kitchen to personally cook a few

things for his shizun.

There were some men who pulled out all the stops to woo someone,

who might cook a full banquet for breakfast, but who would give up and

walk away at the first sign that their affection might not be returned. There

were so many beauties in the world; why waste time on someone they had

no chance with?

Mo Ran wasn't like that. He'd spent two lifetimes chasing after

Shi Mei. He finally understood his own feelings, and he also understood

that, in this lifetime, he and Chu Wanning would never be more than master

and disciple. Even so, he wanted to care for Chu Wanning every day.

To be perfectly aware that something was impossible but to go ahead

and do it anyway—in this, Mo Ran had never changed, in life or in death.

"Gongzi, out shopping so early? Check out my fresh radishes, why

not buy some?"

"Gongzi, I have all sorts of jewelry here, bracelets, necklaces,

hairpins, and accessories, you name it! They're all finely made."

"Come look, come see, all kinds of spiritual stones and weapons,

come, come—"

Mo Ran had only planned to get some groceries, but as he passed a

general store with his basket full of vegetables, he saw a row of pretty little

trinkets laid out on a stand. One in particular caught his eye, and he found

himself wandering over before he knew it.

Another man stood near the stand, the hood of his cloak pulled up as

he looked over the glittering goods on display. The man lifted a hand,

revealing smooth and lovely bone-pale fingers beneath loose black sleeves.

It was these delicate fingers that drew Mo Ran's attention. Based on

the person's build, he'd taken them for a man, but the slenderness of that

hand made him think they might be a woman instead. Curiosity drove him

to try for a better look at their face, but it was shrouded by a veil of black

silk. Only a pair of cold eyes were visible, obscured by the shadow of the

cloak's voluminous hood.

Their eyes met. Out of habit, Mo Ran smiled.

The cloaked person swiftly retracted their hand, which had been

reaching for a spiritual stone on the stand. From the corner of his eye,

Mo Ran caught a glimpse of a ring on that pale thumb. It was patterned with

a silver serpent covered in intricate scales.

He felt he'd seen this pattern somewhere before. But just as he went

to take a closer look, the person tucked their hand back into their sleeve.

They cast Mo Ran an indifferent glance, then turned and left without a

word.

"What a weirdo…" Mo Ran muttered. Then again, Rufeng Sect's

young master was getting married, and wedding invitations had been sent

out en masse. All sorts of peculiar people had been gathering in Linyi of

late, so it wasn't so strange to see someone cloaked from head to toe on the

street.

The wind chimes hanging from the store's back door rang, and the

curtain rose and fell as the shop's mistress came out. Mo Ran mentally

discarded the matter of the black-robed person and pointed at an enchanted

item on display, smiling as he asked, "How much for this one?"