Chapter 103: Shizun, I’m Coming to Find You

So it was like that. His disciple…

Mo Ran had never imagined that this exalted monk, someone

practically indifferentiable betwixt human and ghost, was Chu Wanning's

teacher. For a moment, he found himself unable to speak.

It was Shi Mei who reacted first, bending his head at once in a formal

rite of respect. "I was unaware that the great master was thus related to our

late master," he said in a deferential tone. "This humble one offers Huaizuishizu his sincere greetings."

"There's no need to call me shizu," Master Huaizui replied. "Chu

Wanning was expelled from the sect by this humble monk long ago."

"Ah!" Shi Mei's eyes widened slightly in surprise. "I see…" He was

prudent by nature. Though he was curious, he understood from the faint

wistfulness in Master Huaizui's expression that the monk had no wish to

speak of it, and so asked no further.

But Mo Ran's thoughts were elsewhere; he pressed urgently, feeling as

though his still-beating heart was being broiled in his chest. "Great Master,

you said you came here for Shizun, so do you…do you have some means of

bringing Shizun back?!"

"A-Ran…"

"Do you know how to bring him back?! Tell me the truth! Do you…do

you know how…" The rapid pumping of his heart, coupled with exhaustion

from days of overwork, made Mo Ran light-headed. His vision swam, and

the rest of the sentence caught in his throat, impossible to speak—but the rims

of his eyes grew red.

Master Huaizui sighed. "Mo-shizhu, pray take care. But yes, that is

indeed why this old monk is here."

Mo Ran's face, once pale as paper, flushed with color. He stared

fixedly at Master Huaizui, his bloodless lips quivering for a moment before

he managed to continue. "D-do you…really…"

"This old monk would not disturb the two shizhu so late at night for a

prank."

Mo Ran still wanted to say more. His throat moved, but only a choked

sob emerged.

A long interval passed in silence. "The Rebirth technique alters fate in

defiance of heaven's will, and is no simple matter," Master Huaizui finally

said. "This old monk owes Chu-zongshi much; if not, I would never have

resorted to such measures. Visiting Sisheng Peak was a decision made after

seven days of consideration."

"Altering fate in defiance of heaven's will…?" Mo Ran said, testing

the words. After a second, he muttered miserably. "Altering fate in defiance

of heaven's will… If even a sinner like me was given the opportunity to alter

my fate in defiance of heaven's will, then surely a good person like him

should be given the same chance?"

Half-crazed as he was in that moment, Mo Ran actually let slip his

own alteration of fate in defiance of heaven's will. It was only luck that he

had been mumbling indistinctly, and no one caught the insinuation that he

himself was reborn.

"Shizu," said Shi Mei, "since it alters fate in defiance of heaven's

will, and Rebirth itself is a forbidden technique, I imagine it must be

extremely difficult to perform, and may not necessarily succeed…right?"

"Correct," Huaizui affirmed. "This technique involves not only the

wielder and the deceased, but also requires a third person to locate the

totality of the deceased's soul. The journey to rebirth is rife with hardships,

and the slightest mistake could result in eternal damnation and complete

shattering of the soul."

Shi Mei fell silent.

"For that reason, this old monk need not disturb anyone else, and came

only to ask Chu-zongshi's three disciples if you would be willing to tread

fire and flood and pass through untold dangers for him. If you are not willing,

then even if this old monk opens the gate of rebirth, Chu Wanning will not be

able to return."

Mo Ran had guessed most of this even before Huaizui's explanation.

The reason the three forbidden techniques were forbidden was that, unlike

ordinary magic, they required certain sacrifices and involved certain

dangers. In the last lifetime, he had been willing to give his life for Shi Mei.

In this one, he had already decided that, in order to repay his debt to Chu

Wanning, he would again not hesitate.

Mo Ran wasn't heartless. It was just that, in the last lifetime, he had

never been willing to give Chu Wanning even the tiniest piece of his heart.

In the glow of the candlelight, Mo Ran looked directly at Master

Huaizui. "The great master needn't ask Xue Meng," he said. "Shizun died

because of me. There's no need to involve anyone else in this matter. I, Mo

Ran, am willing to shoulder all the dangers of this technique alone."

"A-Ran…" Shi Mei muttered, then turned to ask Huaizui, "Shizu's

words are sobering indeed; what will the actual trial be like?"

"Although Mo-shizhu is willing to undertake the dangers himself,"

Huaizui said, "for the first step of this technique, the more people there are

willing to take the risk, the more likely it is to succeed. So let's wait for Xueshizhu to get here, and then I will explain to all three of you. This old monk

already asked someone to call him when I first arrived."

He paused, then smiled at Shi Mei. "On a separate note, please

remember not to refer to this old monk as shizu. As I mentioned earlier, this

old monk no longer holds the position of Chu-zongshi's shizun."

Now that Mo Ran had calmed down somewhat, he had to ask: "Why

did the great master expel our shizun from the sect?"

Shi Mei was flabbergasted. "A-Ran…"

"No matter, it's not some unspeakable thing." Huaizui sighed. "In this

humble monk's youth, he once received the care of a benefactor. However,

my benefactor was ill-fated, and lost his life protecting others in a great

calamity. It has been a hundred years hence, but the thought of it still makes

this humble monk uneasy. Thus, the most important rule of our sect has

always been that its disciples must focus solely on cultivation and, until and

unless they reach enlightenment, are forbidden from setting foot in the outside

world or meddling in matters thereof, so as to safeguard their own lives."

Mo Ran considered it for a moment, then said, "Shizun couldn't do it."

"Indeed." There was a bitter twist to Huaizui's smile. "That little

disciple of mine had a temperament much like my benefactor's. He grew up

in the temple, and though he had little in the way of experience, he possessed

skill and talent in abundance. By all rights, he ought to have cultivated into

ascension without incident. But the year he came of age, he happened to be at

the foot of the mountain collecting ores, and came upon a group of fleeing

refugees…"

Shi Mei sighed. "Shizun definitely wouldn't just stand by and watch."

Huaizui nodded. "Not only did he not stand by, after he escorted the

refugees to safety and made arrangements for them, he left the mountain

without permission to see for himself how people lived within the lower

cultivation realm."

Mo Ran and Shi Mei lapsed into silence. Sisheng Peak had been only

recently established back then, and the situation in the lower cultivation

realm had been far more chaotic than now. What Chu Wanning had seen there

went without saying.

"When he returned, he told me that he wanted to put his cultivation

training on hold so he could go down among the people to help the injured

and save lives."

"Did you agree?" Shi Mei asked.

"No."

Shi Mei fell quiet.

"He was only fifteen then, with a pure, simple nature and a hot temper.

It would've been far too easy for some malefactor to deceive him. How

could I possibly allow him to go out on his own? Besides, his cultivation

was high, but his constitution was poor, and all kinds of dangers and

dangerous characters lurk in the world. As his master, this humble monk truly

could not help but worry."

"But he didn't listen to you in the end," Mo Ran guessed.

"No, he didn't. We had a heated argument about it. He said, 'How can

Shizun just sit there all day with his eyes closed trying to ascend while the

common people suffer before our eyes?'"

"Ah!" Shi Mei exclaimed in surprise. Such words directed at Huaizui

would have been extremely harsh no matter who said them. But for them to

come from Chu Wanning, his own disciple at the time, was shockingly

improper.

Huaizui's expression was placid, but a hint of melancholy colored his

features. "This humble monk's control over his emotions was yet lacking

back then, and, in a fit of anger, this humble monk said to his disciple, 'You

can't even save yourself; how can you save others?'"

"And what did Shizun say?" Shi Mei asked.

"If you don't know how to save others, how can you save yourself?"

The entire hall fell silent at these words—because they came not from

Huaizui, but, in a whisper, from Mo Ran. Upon suddenly hearing him speak

the same words as Chu Wanning back then, Master Huaizui gazed quietly at

the young man before him, his eyes glinting in the candlelight. After a long

interval, he heaved a deep sigh.

"Is that what he's been teaching you? He…" Huaizui sighed again. "He

really…never changed at all. Ever that unwavering conviction in his path."

Huaizui's mind was a mess; Mo Ran's wasn't much better.

He had always scoffed at that line of Chu Wanning's. He had thought it

to be fake righteousness and empty words. But when he said it just now, he

instead felt anguish, like his heart was engulfed by flames.

Several seconds passed before Huaizui's hollow voice echoed once

again inside Loyalty Hall. "It shames me to admit it, but I lost my temper that

day. I told him that if he insisted on being stubborn, if he took one step

outside the temple gates, then we would be master and disciple no more. Our

ties would be severed." He paused, as if choking on that piece of the past, as

if he wanted to explain in detail, yet also did not.

He hesitated, then shook his head. "As I'm sure you've guessed, Chu

Wanning ultimately chose to cut ties and leave. It's been many years since

that day. He and I sought different things, so though we both walked this

mortal world, our paths have never since crossed."

"That's not Shi—" Shi Mei began. "That's not the great master's

fault."

"Right and wrong," Huaizui replied, "truth and falsehood—these

things are not so easily grasped. But Chu Wanning was once my disciple, and

since I heard that he died in that bloody battle, this humble monk has found no

peace. Thus I have come here to do what I can, try our luck, see if we can

bring back Chu-zongshi—"

At that moment, the hall's vermilion-painted doors were flung open.

Xue Meng stood in the doorway. When he'd arrived, no one knew, but

he had clearly overheard the part that mattered. He had only been told that

Master Huaizui was here, not what the old monk came for, so he'd taken his

time getting here, sipping dejectedly at his bowl of herbal medicine as he

walked.

Now, after hearing Huaizui's proposal, the bowl lay shattered in

pieces on the floor, and the hot medicinal brew had splattered all over him.

But the son of the phoenix seemed not to feel the burn at all as he cried,

"Bring back? Bring back? Shizun can—can come back?!" He stumbled into

the room at a run and unceremoniously grabbed onto Huaizui. "You bald

donkey,

12

 what did you just say? Is this some kind of joke?"

"Young master, this is…" Shi Mei hurried to interject.

"No…that was unbecoming of me." Although he didn't know the man

before him had been Chu Wanning's master, Xue Meng did at least remember

that he was here to save his shizun's life. He swiftly let go. "Great Master, as

long as you can bring Shizun back, if you ever need anything in the future, I,

Xue Meng, will go through hell and high water, risk life and limb for you.

Just please…please say it's no jest."

"Xue-shizhu," Huaizui said, "there's no need for all that. This humble

monk came calling at this late hour specifically for your shizun." He turned to

gaze out the window at the night sky. "It's almost time. Since the three young

shizhu are all assembled, please allow this humble monk to impart to you the

details and challenges of the Rebirth technique."

"Please do, Great Master," Shi Mei said.

But Xue Meng pressed, urgent, "What's there to say?! Skip the talk and

go save him already!"

"Xue-shizhu is understandably anxious," Huaizui replied, "but you

must realize that any mistake could not only cost you your life, it could also

irretrievably scatter Chu Wanning's soul. If such a thing were to happen, your

shizun would no longer be able to enter the cycle of reincarnation. Would you

risk this?"

"I…" Xue Meng's face flushed, and his hands clenched tightly around

the hems of his sleeves. Only after several seconds did his grip loosen. "All

right, I'll listen to the great master's explanation…"

Huaizui produced from his storage pouch three pure-white silk

lanterns. The white silk of their exterior was shot through with thin threads of

gold, and a complex glyph was embroidered on the center of each lantern in

thirteen colors of silken thread, circling and interlacing like a spiderweb

spun to capture departing souls.

"These are soul-calling lanterns." Master Huaizui distributed the three

lanterns, one to each of them. "Take these and attend carefully to what this

humble monk will say next."

Mo Ran took a lantern gingerly in his hands.

"Every living person has three ethereal souls and seven corporeal

spirits.

13 The three ethereal souls are the earth soul, the cognizance soul, and

the human soul. After death, these three souls leave the body, and each go

their own way. All of this you know already, but I would hazard a guess that

you don't know where exactly each soul goes."

"Please enlighten us, Great Master," Shi Mei said.

"The earth soul and the human soul proceed to the underworld, while

the cognizance soul remains within the body. It's said that one's soul returns

on the seventh day, but in truth, it is only the human soul that returns to the

world of the living, where it meets with the cognizance soul.

"The human soul by and large returns due to some unfulfilled wish.

Once its wish is realized, it will merge with the cognizance soul within the

body. The merged soul will then go to the underworld to reunite with the

earth soul, and when the three are complete again, they will there await

reincarnation. Many who attempt Rebirth without full knowledge of its

intricacies end up calling back an incomplete portion of the soul, which

naturally dissipates in short order."

After Shi Mei's death in the past life, Mo Ran had indeed tried to call

back his soul. But it had been just as Huaizui said: under the bone-white

moonlight, there had appeared only a faint shadow of that person, which had

dispersed instantly into glitters of light. "So that's how it is…" Mo Ran

muttered.

"Chu Wanning's cognizance soul yet remains in his body," Huaizui

continued. "That one you needn't worry about. Our success hinges on finding

his human soul and his earth soul."

"How do we find them?" Xue Meng asked hastily.

"By using the soul-calling lantern," Huaizui answered. "This lantern is

lit by spiritual energy alone, so you must sustain it with a stream of your own

and carry it through Sisheng Peak. If Chu Wanning does not refuse the three

shizhu, then the light of the soul-calling lantern will illuminate his human

soul."

At these words, Mo Ran's heart sank. "Then what if Shizun doesn't

want to see us?"

"That's the first challenge," said Huaizui, "and the reason our chance

of success is greater if more people are willing to look for him. I must

caution you that if Chu Wanning has no lingering attachment to this world and

has already decided to pass on, then the soul-calling lantern will be unable to

illuminate him. As you can see, for the Rebirth technique to work, everything

—time, place, and people—must align perfectly. If the deceased retains no

attachment to any of those who search for him and is unwilling to return to the

world of the living, then no one can compel him to return."

Mo Ran's hands tightened unconsciously around the body of the

lantern, and he fell silent.

Xue Meng, however, did not hesitate. "Shizun cared for us more than

anyone. How could he refuse to come back? Great Master, after we find

Shizun's human soul with the lanterns, what then?"

"Once you find the human soul, you must travel to a certain place."

"Where?" Xue Meng asked.

"The underworld."

All three of them were shocked—they hadn't anticipated actually

descending to the underworld in person.

Shi Mei let out a soft "ah," then lowered his graceful lashes slightly

and asked in a quiet voice, "Um…how could a living person go into hell?"

"I have my ways. Shizhu need not concern himself with the how."

Huaizui leveled him with a measured gaze and continued, "But of the three of

you, no matter who finds Chu Wanning's human soul first, you must

wholeheartedly wish for him to return to the living world and be

unreservedly willing to go to the heavens above and the underworld below

for his sake. If you lack strength of conviction, then Chu Wanning's soul will

scatter midway, and may never be gathered again."

"That's…" Shi Mei started.

But Xue Meng spoke first: "The depth of the affection and regard I

hold for Shizun is beyond measure. Even if I must go to the Infinite Hells to

find him, I'd have no complaints."

"Shizun died because of me." Mo Ran lifted his eyes. After a short

pause, he too, agreed. "I owe him far too much; I also have no complaints."

"Good," said Huaizui. "Then listen well: once one of you finds Chu

Wanning's human soul, the others will no longer be able to see him. Whoever

finds him must be sure to keep the soul-calling lantern lit all the way until

daybreak, and to keep his soul within its light."

"Doesn't sound too difficult," Xue Meng observed.

"It's difficult," Huaizui said. "Once the three souls split, it is common

for each to be missing something. It could be hearing, cognition, or

memories… Simply put, if you're unlucky, the shizun you meet may not be

willing to listen to you, and you'll have to figure out some way to win him

over."

Xue Meng was struck speechless.

Mo Ran felt his heart contract with unease. He asked, hesitant, "'Win

him over'? But what if…what if we say something wrong? He was hard

enough to predict in life, and now that he's a ghost…"

Mo Ran's worry was genuine. But the friction between him and Xue

Meng had festered for so long that Xue Meng's first thought was that he meant

to disparage Chu Wanning. He turned furiously to glare at Mo Ran. "What's

so hard about convincing Shizun?" he snapped. "Just keep him within the

lantern's range."

"What happens after daybreak?" Shi Mei cut in.

"After daybreak, Chu Wanning's human soul will drift into the soulcalling lantern. This humble monk will wait by the bridge with a bamboo

raft. Sisheng Peak is situated at the entrance to the ghost realm, and the

waters beneath Naihe Bridge flow directly into the Yellow Springs.

14

 This

raft will ferry whoever locates the soul fragment into the ghost realm."

"You can go to the ghost realm on a bamboo raft?" Xue Meng asked.

"Only one person can go?" Shi Mei questioned right behind him. "The

others can't help?"

"They cannot. Whoever finds Chu Wanning's human soul must go alone

into the ghost realm to seek his earth soul as well. If that person should give

up halfway or have second thoughts, then Chu Wanning's human soul will be

devoured by the soul-calling lantern, never to reincarnate."

Xue Meng started. He whipped his head around to Mo Ran and said,

"You sit this one out! I don't trust you!"

Mo Ran kept his silence and weathered his cousin's doubts without

protest.

Shi Mei did his best to keep the peace. "Young master," he said, "ARan isn't the type to back out like that, so…"

"So what if he's not?!" Xue Meng snapped. "He got Shizun killed once

already. Why should I believe he won't do it a second time? He's a goddamn

scourge!"

"The great master is still here," Shi Mei reminded him quietly. "How

can you say that?"

"Why shouldn't I say it? Am I wrong? How many times has Shizun

gotten hurt because of him! Any time he's around, there's trouble." The rims

of Xue Meng's eyes grew red, and his lips quivered as he spoke. He

trembled all over, then suddenly lost control and reached out to wrest the

soul-calling lantern from Mo Ran's hands. "Give me the lantern! Don't bring

Shizun any more misfortune."

Mo Ran had no reply.

"Give it to me!" Xue Meng swore at him. Mo Ran did not argue. For

the first time in his life, he felt Xue Meng was right.

Be it in front of the ghost mistress of ceremonies or at the bottom of

Jincheng Lake, which of Chu Wanning's injuries couldn't be laid at his feet?

How many scars did Chu Wanning carry because of him?

A scourge. Heh… He wasn't wrong.

But even so—even knowing he had treated his shizun disgracefully,

even knowing he wasn't worthy to beg him to return from the underworld, he

still didn't want to let that soul-calling lantern go. He held tightly, stubbornly,

to that pale white lantern as Xue Meng cursed and tore at him. Even as

bloody scratches appeared on the backs of his hands, he remained still, his

head bowed.

When Xue Meng, breathing harshly, finally loosened his grip, it was to

say with reddened eyes, "Mo Weiyu, how much longer do you intend to hurt

him…"

Mo Ran didn't look at him. He stared down at that empty lantern in

silence. Just as the silence stretched so long it seemed he wasn't going to

respond at all, he suddenly said, quiet, "I want to bring him home."

His voice was so quiet, pushed down by the weight of shame and guilt.

So quiet that Xue Meng at first didn't quite catch it and stood blinking for a

beat before he realized what Mo Ran had said. He sneered. "Hah. You want

to bring him home?"

Mo Ran closed his eyes without a word.

Xue Meng spat at him, every syllable torn to shreds between his teeth,

"Have you no shame?"

"Young master—"

"Let go of me. Let go!" Xue Meng ripped his sleeve from Shi Mei's

grasp. Sorrow and resentment flashed in his eyes as he glared unrelentingly

at Mo Ran. His voice was raw as he said, "What right do you have."

Mo Ran's hands flinched slightly where he held the lantern, and his

lashes dropped still lower. For a delirious instant, Mo Ran half-expected to

hear Chu Wanning cut in with, "Xue Meng, behave"—as if he were still

alive. It turned out that, all this time, Chu Wanning had been protecting him.

Mo Ran was the one who had taken it all for granted.

Mo Ran didn't know what to say. He held desperately onto that lantern

as if grasping a lifeline. Head still bowed, he repeated, "I want to bring him

home."

"Is that all you know how to say?! You—"

"That's enough, Xue-shizhu." Master Huaizui finally couldn't bear to

watch any longer. He sighed. "Since Mo-shizhu wishes to go, we should let

him. If something really does go awry, we can correct course then. But as of

now, all is yet uncertain; there is no need for Xue-shizhu to be so

antagonistic."

Xue Meng's expression was dark; he had more he wanted to say, but

restrained himself out of consideration for Huaizui. Yet it wasn't long before

his restraint slipped again and he growled out, "If anything happens to

Shizun, I'll personally lay your corpse at his grave."

Huaizui sighed again. "Please settle your grievances some other day.

There isn't much time left. Right now, our priority is to find the human soul."

"Please begin, Great Master," said Mo Ran.

"The soul-calling lanterns have already been enchanted." Seeing Mo

Ran immediately move to light the lantern with spiritual energy, Huaizui

raised a hand to stop him. "Shizhu, a moment."

"Is there still something else?" Xue Meng pressed impatiently.

"This humble monk wants to be perfectly clear: if one of you should

find Chu Wanning's human soul, you cannot back out of the journey to the

underworld. This humble monk will cast a protection spell on you, but it is

still horribly dangerous for a living person to enter the land of the dead. One

careless move, and you may not return alive."

Master Huaizui directed a solemn gaze at each of them in turn. "This is

no idle threat. Locating Chu Wanning's earth soul in the underworld may not

be difficult—the difficulty is in stepping into hell alone to face the unknown.

If you're lucky, you'll find the earth soul quickly, but if you're unlucky and

encounter any mishaps, then…"

"We'll die?" Shi Mei asked.

"Death would be the least of it, I'm afraid. If such a thing were to

happen, both Chu Wanning and the shizhu would be annihilated from the

cycle of reincarnation." Huaizui continued, "That's why, if there's any kernel

of doubt in your heart, I recommend you return your lantern. No one in this

world is obligated to die for the sake of another; there's no shame in valuing

your own life. If you are unsure, there's still time to turn back."

"I'm sure!" Xue Meng exclaimed, the most zealous and hot-blooded of

the trio. "Whoever backs out is a spineless chicken," he added, and glared

viciously at Mo Ran.

But Xue Meng didn't really understand Mo Ran, after all. This cousin

of his was nothing like him. Perhaps it was due to the endless humiliations he

had suffered as a child that Mo Ran's love and hate had been ground down

into sharp claws. If someone hurt him, he would eviscerate them. But if

someone treated him well, afforded him even a tiny speck of kindness, he

would never forget.

Mo Ran shot Xue Meng a sidelong glance before returning his gaze to

Huaizui. "I'm also sure."

Huaizui nodded. "Very well. When you reach the ghost realm, you must

find his earth soul as swiftly as possible. Once the human soul and the earth

soul fuse inside the soul-calling lantern, it will light your path back to the

living world. At that point, this old monk will take care of the rest."

When he put it like that, it didn't sound terribly daunting. But all three

were aware that every step of the process was uncertain and full of dangers.

Especially journeying into the underworld—if Chu Wanning's earth soul

couldn't be found, or if it was missing cognition or memories and would not

fuse, then whoever went down to find him could plausibly get stuck down

there.

Thus, before the three disciples lit their soul-calling lanterns, Huaizui

intoned in a slow, solemn voice, "Once the lanterns are lit, there is no turning

back. This is truly no joking matter, so allow this humble monk to ask one

final time: Are you absolutely certain? Once you begin, there can be no room

for regrets."

The three answered as one: "No regrets."

"Good. Good…" A smile—half bitter, half gratified—spread slowly

across Huaizui's face. "Chu Wanning, it seems you've been a better shizun

than I."

He recited the incantation silently, and the soul-calling lanterns

flickered faintly twice, then lit. A pair of scarlet flames flared near

simultaneously within the lanterns in Xue Meng and Mo Ran's hands, dyeing

the white silk a vibrant red. A moment later, the lantern Shi Mei held also

flared to life with a faint blue light, the color of water elemental spiritual

energy.

"Go." Huaizui said. "Success or failure, return or no—all will be

decided this eve. If we fail tonight, then…" Huaizui sighed.

Mo Ran thought of the care Chu Wanning had shown him when he was

alive and felt a dull, throbbing pain in his heart. He couldn't bear to hear the

rest Huaizui's words, so he said, "The great master need say no more.

Whether I have to kneel, crawl, or lay down my own life, I'll definitely bring

Shizun back to the world of the living."

As long as he's willing. As long as he's still willing to come back

with me.

Three halos of light set out individually from Loyalty Hall. Before

long, each had vanished into the boundless dark.