Prologue

Dec23, 1970/ Cave Hollow, Salt Lake City, Utah, USA

The day our lives underwent a drastic change. As a six-year-old girl, I sat with my father in his office playing with my barbies until the phone rang, with the news still playing in the background. Announcing that the North Tower of the World Trade Center in New York has reached its highest point.

While I was playing with my barbies, I suddenly heard my father gasping for air. Looking at him, I see him looking at me in panic.

Not much later, the police are at our door with my mommy's purse and ring in their hand.

That morning:

"Mommy, Mommy!"

"No, Rachel. Mommy has to go to work today."

"Mommy, Mommy!"

"Stop Rachel"

I sadly let go of my mommy's red and gray checkered skirt. My mom always looked beautiful with her tailor-made suit.

My dream was to be just like mom.

Taking her purse and keys, walking out of the door.

Dad was working from home today and would stay with me. Daddy always takes me to his office. Which is certainly the same size as my room.

I have a beautiful room. Pink, is my favorite color. With a big barbie house that mom and dad bought for me. I hear Dad calling with some gentleman in the distance of his office. Dad always has to work and makes all the day's calls at his office. Although, mom and dad were free last week to play with me. But this week, mom had to go to work back again. I preferred going to work in the city with Mom. There is always so much to see. I like to see mommy dancing with the other mommies. My mother is a ballet dancer at the theaters in the city. But here at home, it is so boring. I have so little to do. Daddy only allows me to sit here at his office. Also, I have always to be quiet or daddy is angry at me.

Dec 24, 1975 / Cave Hollow, Salt Lake City, Utah, USA

Today is the day that mom has been away from us for five years. Daddy had changed in the past years.

I am now eleven years old and have become a prisoner of my father. At the age of six, I did not realize the consequences of my mother's death.

My father was very afraid of losing me because of my mother's accident.

I was not allowed to go outside because of her accident. In the first years, I did not want to go outside. Although, I am now eleven and would like to meet other girls and boys. Then I don't have to pretend of the characters on TV to be my friends.

In the meantime, daddy also gives me lessons every day.

He also had stopped working for a large part of the day. Now that all the staff is out of the house. The silence is barely tolerable. Only I walk back to my room after another endless day at my father's office. Yes, he teaches me in his office. Now that I am more rebellious against him, he is also much less patient with me. He is much more hot-tempered with me if I challenge him too much. Or I get a hit from him. He had never hit me until now. This is my life as an eleven-year-old girl locked in a big mansion.

It is so big that you first have to go through a driveway through the woods before you get here. The building used to be so well cared for and full of stuff everywhere. Also, the doors were always open.

Now there are only two people allowed in.

The cleaning lady Nita and a man who does the shopping.

I've never seen him. But Nita had become like a mother to me for all the years she has passed. Father let her only come a few times a month. The house was already falling into disrepair.

The once beautiful garden is now overgrown and full of weeds.

Dad also had my swing removed a few years ago.

Everything here made me depressed.